What Happens Next. (Edited Ver.)

Forget Me Not: Journey Of Memories
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The HORVEJKULS arrived at the familiar mansion - Their Ancestral Home.

      "We're HOME!" Hara chimed as she ran up to the office of her UNCLE, leaving the others with their captives. "Great. Now whiny brat will let us do all the work." L mumbled while he eyed the stairs, where he last saw Hara, as if the stairs were a lair of maggots and pests. "Come on. Leave her be, she's always like that." Khun scoffed and carried , while the others transported the Lee Brothers, Jinyoung, Junhyung, Yuri, Taeyeon, Hongki and Jiyeon in the underground prison cell of the Horvejkul family.   They exited the mansion from the back door and then crossed the garden, heading for the huge gate which was bounded with moss and that laid between two trees.     The Horvejkuls separated each of them by cell. Yes, they've imprisoned them. It wasn't easy for them since the only things that separated them weren't just prison bars - Those bars are enchanted by the Horvejkul's Ancient Dark Spells. Slowly, everyone gained consciousness. Even Donghae, who magically recovered after the great hit he received on the head for saving .      "Where are we?" He asked, eyes half-opened, but were immediately shot open when he saw , chained inside the cell across him. "Oppa, you're awake." She smiled a bit, relieved that Donghae was awake. When Donghae realized that everyone else had teh same situation was in, hedecided not to struggle since his efforts would end up being too futile.   "How?" He grimly asked Gikwang, whose cell was on his left. "When you lost it hyung, we all sorta had another problem with . She almost disappered, but when she was about to vanish into the light, we swam into it
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Little-Red
P.S. If you'd all like to read my other fics, YOu'RE ALL WELCOME AND LOVE DIF YOU DO SO~ LOL! XD

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Vampirexy192
#1
Chapter 11: Oh yeah, I know I comment too much on this but I just wanna add, no need to emphasize too much on every word that seems unnecessary like you give in a bold font or capital letter and reduce the 3 period symbol. It just dragging your sentence. Probably it was a habit to put three dots at the end of sentence. xD Maybe, I assumed. It's okay, everyone make a mistake that they unconsciously did. Even me, myself ^_^ But if you still keep it, it's fine. Everyone has their own styles to write. :D
Vampirexy192
#2
Chapter 11: First of all, I want to say that the colors actually distract me. I don't mind, it was colorful indeed but I would suggest you do not use yellow color because I couldn't see the word clearly. >.> And I preferred if you name the female main character so you wouldn't have to keep it blank in all you story. Also, the thoughts of a person and the person conversation should be distinguished. Like we can tell that it was her thoughts or she was talking. People's point of view is already considered as expressing their inner minds or thoughts. Unless that person voiced out her opinion in her head loudly as if she was talking to herself. That is different. Like you use this for the "conversation" and thoughts, you can use 'this' or in italic words. Oh! Btw in Chapter 11, the protagonist brother had changed from Baro to Jinyoung? o.o What just happened? That actually confused me, I don't know if you had mistakenly written that. Moreover, it was difficult to you know telling their perspectives especially the Lee's brothers. I was rather puzzled because it seems jumbled up to me. Therefore, the flow of the story is a bit disrupted. I'm just giving my comment not because of I hate it, I just want to point out the mistakes so you can improve and become better. :D I hope you don't take any offence from this. However, the plot story was interesting like I can feel European or Victorian kind of style. Classic and vintage. Hahaha. As well as the mystery behind her amnesia and the history of their descendants. :)
exolovechick
#3
yea i was surprised to see exolovechick i would recommend to name the main character but other than that, i am looking forward in reading this fic :)
rukehna #4
scared the crap out of me when i see my username lol
yoonaaegyo
#5
Its realy funny because my username is also yoonaaegyo but otherwise I am looking forward to reading this fanfics :)
ILoveKitCats
#6
Chapter 19: this story is so mysterious . i must keep reading to know the ans .. jinjja daebak !!
chimaniecricket
#7
always sj15forever!!!!
x3Yoongiex3
#8
Chapter 125: i just finished your story & really liked it (:
jonginies #9
okay! ^^
Little-Red
#10
@kpopaholic121: SEE YOU AT THE OTHER STORIES CHINGGU~ :D