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Under the Rain

by: clasicoustic-

Characterization (20 Pts)

Seeing as this was a one-shot, we really don't get to see any character development. Which is fine. However the readers are left to imagine for themselves how Yoona and Minseok really are. I mean it's supposed to be an AU!fic (Alternate Universe) but I had to envision the characters as Yoona and Xiumin themselves, complete with their own personalities - which may not be the case in your one shot.

Despite that, your portrayal of both the main characters was fine but the tidbits where were supposed to focus on them are given to the likes of Yixing and Luhan. There was little time for Yoona as is but I felt like Luhan and Yixing had more "screentime" per say.

I suggest writing a little bit more? You should increase the interactions with Yoona because I rarely read about her. Being the girl "under the rain" I would assume that she alongside of Minseok should be the main focus of the story.

Score:  15/20

Plot (20 Pts)

There is one thing I realy hate: Time Jumps. It's just that time jumps denote a change in setting so abruptly that the flow of the story is compromised.

In your case, it was executed fine but at times I really really disliked going back and forth between the present and the past - it might just be my personal taste but it left me c

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Unnie-Maya #1
Chapter 1: Username: Unnie-Maya

Story Title: Dirty Secrets

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/710778/dirty-secrets-angst-drama-jongtae-minkey-romance-shinee-

Genre: , romance, angst

Brief Description: Minnie, a male e is a favorite of customers. Thrown into school reality, he's forced to deal with new realities.

Blackmailed by a friend, he gives his body in exchange for secrecy.

An image of a confident boy turns out to be only a mask.

Will Taemin find love, which he's afraid of but he also wants it at the same time?

Will his secret come to light?

Chapter Count / 11
Areas to Focus on:

Password: ★GingerSnaps★

Miscellaneous / Anything Else:
myheartswishes #2
Chapter 1: Username: myunghyun4ever

Story Title: Runes of Despair

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/701077/runes-of-despair-action-exo-exok-exom-mark

Genre: Action, Fantasy, Romance

Brief Description: Year 2030. The country is now under an Authoritarian regime after a failed coup by an anti-government group, the Organisation, ten years ago. But what if not all the members were eradicated, and what if they were silently waiting in the shadows for revenge?

Chapter Count / Oneshot? 14 and counting

Areas to Focus on: Characterisation, Description of events and settings, flow of story etc

Password: ★GingerSnaps★

Miscellaneous / Anything Else: Please be as detailed as possible ^^ Thank you :)
nubivxgant #3
Username: yanleix

Story Title : Dreamcatchers

Story Link : http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/746206/dreamcatchers-angst-fluff-exo-otp-sekai-kaixing-pairing

Genre : Fluff, slightangst

Brief Description : Jongin and Sehun develop mutual dependence which kind of sparks off into love;

Chapter count/oneshot : 29, ongoing though

Areas to focus on : i guess flow, foreword, flow

Password: ★GingerSnaps★

Misc. : Thanks in advance
Plagal #4
Chapter 1: Username: LilTibbers

Story Title: Thrown Aside

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/744468/thrown-aside-angst-tragic-daehyun-youngjae

Genre: Angst

Brief Description: A relationship between a dog and his owner. Written through the eyes of the dog. Daejae

Chapter Count / Oneshot? Oneshot

Areas to Focus on: Foreword, Description & Flow

Password: ★GingerSnaps★

Miscellaneous / Anything Else:
younghyojin #5
Chapter 1: Username: younghyojin

Story Title: A Piece of Paradise

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/732390/a-piece-of-paradise-comedy-romance-exo-sehun-baekhyun-chanyeol-suho

Genre: romance and comedy

Brief Description: The big three entertainment agency in South Korea is up to something. There is a big project coming up, and it's starting. For some people it's going to be a life changing event, for the first time ever, YG, JYP and SM is going to have a collaboration. But, can something unexpected happen, well, something like love?

Chapter Count/ Oneshot? 12 chapters, but it's not completed yet..

Areas to Focus on: Plot, writing and foreword

Password: ★GingerSnaps★ 

Miscellaneous/ Anything Else:
clasicoustic- #6
Chapter 1: Username: clasicoustic-

Story Title: Under the Rain

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/645319

Genre: Romance, fluff(maybe?)

Brief Description: Minseok found her; the one he has waiting for.

Chapter Count / Oneshot? Oneshot

Areas to Focus on: plot and grammar xD

Password: ★GingerSnaps★

Miscellaneous / Anything Else:
kaisooumma #7
Chapter 5: Thank you for your review ^^. This is my first time to write a fanfic and my first time to get a review, so honestly I'm very happy ^^. And actually, I already have beta readers. For the characters development, I know it needs so much attention, next time I will try to edit the whole story gradually. I know, this story is lacking in many aspects, but I will try to improve it later, but I'm still very happy to get this story evaluated by someone. So I know what's my mistake and I will try my best to make it better next time. Thank you so much ^^. I've credied you ^^.
Shibalyo #8
Chapter 1: Username: Shibalyo

Story Title: EXOPLANET

Story Link: http://www.asianfanfics.com/story/view/711086

Genre: Supernatural, Angst, Romance

Brief Description:Her life was turned upside down when otherworldly forces enlisted her help in saving their own race. They disrupted everything she knew and cared about; the reason for their arrival exposing all the cruelty of humankind.
In resolving to help them, she must give up what was most precious to her. However, she may have received a love and cause that were worth all the repercussions.

Chapter Count: 17 so far... but please review however long it is when you do! Thanks!

Areas to Focus on: Characterisation, plot, comprehension difficulty, ways to improve basically

Password: Gingersnaps ^^

Miscellaneous / Anything Else: Please be in depth on how I can improve! I'm using reviews as a way of perfecting my story :) And thanks so much for this!
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