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THUD

"Ouch!

Jongin rubbed his forehead; he had just hit a wall in font of him. Hissing, he could feel that his forehead was pulsating with pain. He quickly looked around, scanning his surrounding. He was in the section of the school where students didn't usually passed by. He sighed. At least no one saw his shameful moment.

"I saw that! You're helpless!"

That voice made him jump and almost hit the wall again. Of course he was not alone.

"Whatever, Sehun!"

Jongin turned right to the way he was supposed to go earlier and walked really fast, hand still rubbing his forehead.

"Hey, I'm sorry! I didn't mind to mock you! I was just ...."

"Following me? Stalking me?"

"Not really ...."

"Then what?!"

Jongin never really got mad at Sehun and he felt really bad when he was so. However, it irritated him that nowadays it seemed that Sehun had become his second shadow. Whenever he was going, Sehun would be there to stay behind him. HIs ninja skill had become both scary and deeply annoying at the same time.

"Well, okay, I followed you. I was asked, you know, by someone. Nope, by some people actually. They're worried about you and it seems that I am the only one who could break into your shell, no matter how hard you resist."

Jongin sighed. It must have been his parents again.

"I'm fine, Sehun, I'm fine! At least I am composing myself. Those people don't need to worry about me. I'm fine. I just need some piece of time to get myself together. That's why I'd rather have time for myself alone, a-lone."

Sehun sighed. Jongin knew that he had hurt his bestfriend's feeling.

"I'm sorry. I am so, so, sorry, Sehun. I just ..., need a time to think and sort out everything .... Just ..., give me some time to cope. I'll be alright."

Sehun smiled. He was bratty and his tongue might slip too much at times, but Jongin knew he was the best bestfriend he could ever wish in his life. They were practically like twins, they knew each other.

"It's okay then. I won't follow you again. Following you is crappy though, you keep hitting anything in range."

Jongin rolled his eyes, but smiled to Sehun anyway. Sehun walked away to the different direction, giving him the space he wanted. Jongin sighed and headed off to nowhere, just following the trail of his independent steps.

He was in silent breakdown. He might not have a thought of cutting his wrist, jumping from the top of a building, hanging himself, or any kind of such suicidal tendency, though it felt like he was ripped apart slowly. He was perfectly, completely sane. Still, it was so painful inside his chest, bloody. It was burning with pain, soaring whenever his mind was drifting off to one particular person.

So, ten years wasted. That's what he always thought. He had been wishing to meet his saviour for those long ten years but everything ended up not like everything he had wished. He had wished for their meeting was nice, a bit overly dramatic probably, where his saviour would recognize him at once and they would hug each other, drowned in a nostalgic moment together. His saviour would recall every single thing that happened that day, showering Jongin with compliment about how great he was and how nice he had become. Well, that's too much. At least he expected that his saviour would remember him, that's all. The point of recognization from his saviour would definitely suffice all the thing he had been hoping for. That's what he wanted.

Seriouly, Jongin could not make it clear, even for himself, as of why he couldn't just barge into Kyungsoo's room and told him who he was already. It was easy, beyond easy. Kyungsoo had filled the post that Yifan-hyung left; he was the substitute teacher for Drama. He knew from the whispers in the air that Kyungsoo was a student who was completing his final year in university by taking a credit for field expertise. He was there for six months to experience how to get some drama experience. It was said that he was already offered to play in some drama but he dismissed the offer for an unknown reason. He opted to teach the subject to the students instead.

Well, for some reasons, Jongin didn't care about those drama gossip. What he concerned on more was the fact that why he could not just meet him and told Kyungsoo everything. Instead of seeing him, he had tried to avoid Kyungsoo in any way possible. He tried to escape from every encounter with him at school. When he saw Kyungsoo walking on the corridor, he would quickly turn around and leave the scene. When he heard the sweet voice of Kyungsoo's, he would find himself dashing away, getting father from the source of sweet voice. Once, for Jongin was so lost in thought, he didn't realize that he bumped into Kyungsoo himself. Jongin was like just bumping into a ghost. He quickly got up and ran from falling Kyungsoo, feeling really like a jerk for not helping him up again and asking how he was. It was just too much too handle. He didn't have any courage to come face to face with Kyungsoo and talk.

He was such a coward, a .

It was all because of himself, probably, for he kept thinking that their meeting was a holy, fateful destiny. He was too drowned in the idea that Kyungsoo should have remembered that meeting all along. He was just too absorbed that Kyungsoo should have felt the same way he was feeling.

Sehun was right, he was helpless.

DING DONG DING DONG.

Another bell. Jongin sighed. He walked to his class. He hoped that the lesson would be nice enough to distract him. However, he was not a bright student, and it was almost absolute that he would that he would get confused by it all the time again. Thus, the torturous moment of thinking of Kyungsoo would attack him again.

Sigh .... Life is really hard ....

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"Jongin! Hey!"

Jongin turned his head and saw Yoona running to him. She was panting when she reached him but beaming cutely at him.

"So, you are walking with your dog too?"

Jongin smiled, sheepishly.

"Yeah, walking with my kid."

"Your kid, huh?" The laugh coming from Yoona was somehow easing. "What's his name?"

"His name is Monggu."

"Well, hello, Monggu! Nice to meet you! Lala, say hi to Monggu."

Lala, Yoona's dog, barked at Monggu, where Monggo returned the bark. Both dogs wiggled their tails and started to jump around each other.

"Wow, wow, Monggu, hold on. You would tie the latch." Jongin warned him.

"Hehehe, I think he is happy that he has just got a new friend."

Jongin smiled. Monggu's enthusiasm was incontainable sometimes.

"I am thirsty. Do you want to have some strawberry ice, Jongin?" Yoona invited while pointing to a beverage vendor near them. Jongin nodded and they headed off to the vendor. Yoona had strawberry ice while Jongin chose chocolate ice instead.

They found a nice bench under a camphor tree and sat there together. No one was really talking for the first few minutes as they were their own drinks.

"So, how are you, Jongin. Are you alright?"

"I am fine, Sunbae. I recovered already. How about you?"

"Why do you keep calling me 'Sunbae'? It makes me feel old. I am just two years older than you. Do I really look that aged to you?"

Jongin grinned.

"Just call me Yoona. Or if it still feels bad, call me Noona."

Yoona might be much too casual, even for him.

"Okay, Noona." Jongin smiled.

"That's great! I'm fine. Just fine. Trying to enjoy the moment, the time left before I finally graduate and leave the school. Sorry, I correct it, my life is really draining. I have too many courses to attend. I keep studying all the time, for exam and for university entrance test later. I am not sure whether my brain will still be able to work any longer if I keep forcing it to receive every single bit of information."

"Hehe. Relax, Noona. I am not the brightest student in my class. Still, I try to enjoy my day. Nothing should burden you."

"You are kinda right. Still, you will feel I am feeling now once you are in my grade later. It will be a living hell for you."

Jongin gulped, feeling a bit intimidated by Yoona. She laughed heartily, laughing at Jongin's innocence.

"Anyway, how is your love. Have you confessed to her?"

Geez, why should this question pop up all the sudden?

Jongin breathed for a while, unable to find answer to reply Yoona's question. She basically didn't know yet that Jongin was into male, not female. In fact, no one knew this but Sehun, to whom every single information about him was known. He bit his lips, probably it was safer if he kept playing along with Yoona's assumption. He just didn't feel ready yet to counter embarrassment and prejudice from anyone.

Yoona perhaps noticed that to Jongin this question was such a heavy issue. She flashed a considerate smile to him.

"You know, Jongin, people say, love is love. You keep it in your heart and have it yourself, but true love is the one you show to people and let them know about. That love is selfish, it is constructed by the feeling of understanding and self-sacrifice. It is not always about the tendency to possess the object of our love, but rather protect it, with all our might. We are happy to see our love happy. We are sad if we see our love sad. We love our love, even if it doesn't reciprocate.

"I may not know whom your heart belongs to, but whoever she is, she must be very lucky. I could see that you have been harboring this feeling for quite a time. It is obvious, from your look, that you have been longing this person for a long time.

"I wanna tell you something. Please just listen to it. Don't interrupt, or object, at least until I am finished. What I am going to say is major, and I need no cut for it. You get it?"

Jongin nodded, crossing his mouth with his finger. He waited for Yoona, who seemed to be collecting all the spirit she had to tell whatever it was she wanted to tell. After a while, finally opened.

"I love you, for sure, that's why I confessed to you. You might have rejected me and I swear it hurt me so much, but at the end of the day I chose to accept the fact and go along with that. If I can be honest to you, it hurts, even right now, that I still want to be with you but in fact I will never be with you. But I made myself clear, so I don't end up suffering more than this, because I know the truth already. It is harsh, but it is true. I would rather face the most piercing, painful truth than live the utmost lie for my entire life. With that one, I can move on. You and I might not end up as lovers, but I can still love you as a sister.

"I believe you are my first love and I understand now why it is so unforgettable. However, I also believe as well that someday, somewhere, I will find my true love whom I love and who loves me back all the way. I will meet him, clean and clear, as we both will confess our feeling to each other. We two will reveal our feelings and that will be the time we connect our heart. I believe it will come true one day. I believe it in my heart."

Yoona chuckled, but even Jongin could see the pain that she was bearing right now.

"I am sorry, Noona. I am sorry for I am not able to return your feeling. I am sorry for ..., for everything ...."

"Why do you keep saying sorry? You are not the one to blame. You are nice, no, very noble to come honest and straightforward to me. I told you that love cannot be forced and that's very true. I don't want you to forcefully accept me but deep down inside you never feel even the slightest touch of love toward me. No, Jongin, please don't feel so."

She held Jongin's hand in hers. Pulling the most sincere smile she could, she squeezed Jongin's hand.

"I hope you are happy, Jongin. That's what I wanna say. I hope you can reach your happiness, even if it is not with me. Never stop loving the one you love. Fight for it. Say that you love her even if she doesn't love you back. You might be shattered, but one day, you will come to a compromise with your own. At least, you have made her know a little piece of truth. The truth, I believe, will guide you toward your own happiness."

Jongin didn't know why but he felt his eyes hot. He chuckled, trying to cover an unmanly reaction he was having right now. He looked at the sky, trying to prevent tears to fall. After exhaling air out of his lungs, he could proudly stabilize himself.

"Thank you, Noona, for everything."

"You're welcome, dongsaeng. Gahh ..., it relieves me, you know. I have been wanting to call you that since some days ago."

Jongin smiled, as best as he could, to his now pronounced noona. The feeling was exactly the same he had to Yifan. He huffed a sigh. If only Yifan had been here, they would have made a perfect couple. The thought made him smile wider, before he remembered that Sehun was feeling something special towards Yoona. Shrugging, he continued eating his remaining ice cream while chatting lighter subject with Yoona. Monggu and Lala were chasing each other now, producing laugh from their owners.

To Jongin, this was by far the most enlightening day he had for the rest of his life.

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"You are smiling now. What a progress ...."

Jongin eyed Sehun, who was walking lazily toward him. Once he was beside Jongin, he laid his back on the handrail Jongin's arms were resting upon. Jongin just shrugged.

"Well, I got a nice weekend. I found some enlightenment, heart to heart discussion. Yoona-noona clearly made my day...."

Sehun straightened himself in a dash and threw a laser look to Jongin.

"What? Yoona? What did you do with her? How could you spend your weekend with her? And ..., wait! Since when do you call her noona?"

Jongin laughed as he could see Sehun's sour expression, which turned sourer upon seeing him laugh. Jongin put his hand on Sehun's shoulder.

"Relax, bestie, I just spent my Sunday morning eating ice cream with her. We ..., talked about many things. Don't worry, my allegiance is still to my first love, not her. We kinda made a pact of being honest toward someone we love. That, and the fact that I have to call her Noona now, is the one that makes me smile now."

Sehun was still unconvinced.

"What do you mean?"

"I keep on thinking last night and I have arrived at my conclusion. My saviour might not recognize me, and also the love I have been having toward him for the entire time. However, I don't want to give up yet, for I will try my best to show my love to him. I will make him fall in love with me and in the process, I will confess to him. I don't know if he would accept me or not, but I won't retreat before I am sure that he knows my feeling."

Sehun was just opening his mouth widely; he closed it a moment later when he realized he looked like dumb by doing that.

"You ..., how could you ...?"

"Change? I don't know, the world changes, people change, right?"

Sehun's eyes were wincing judgingly. He crossed his arms, tilting his head and chewing his inner cheeks assessingly. A moment passed and then he smirked to his bestfriend.

"You are helpless, you know that."

"I know, but --"

"I'll help you!"

"What?"

"I'll help you! You just made me realize something! It was the moment of truth. I'll help you to reach the love of your life. I'll support all your effort to make Do Kyungsoo fall in love with you."

Jongin was confused, but some moments later he was exploding with happiness. He had his bestfriend lining behind him to win his love's heart. Really? It was such a movement, such a miracle! Especially knowing that it was Sehun, who was known not to do anything unless he was benefited somehow.

Wait ....

Unless ....

"You are not doing this for free right?"

Sehun smirk grew wider.

"Of course not. In return of my kindness, you also need to set me up with someone."

Jongin rolled his eyes. "Yoona-noona?"

Sehun was blushing. Blushing! Jongin shook his head as smirked grew on his face.

"Oh, bestie, I never knew you could blush like that? Oh, Yoona must be the love of your life, mustn't she?"

The pinkish blush turned into crimson red. "Shut the up, Jongin!"

"Aigoo .... You turned red now! How cute ...."

Jongin puffed his cheeks and burped air from his sealed mouth, laughing his off when he saw Sehun gritting his teeth. Their standard old time bickering started, again, as Jongin kept teasing Sehun about Yoona. However, there was a relief in Jongin's heart. Everything might be difficult in the future, but with the love he possessed right now combined with encouragement and support from people who loved him, Jongin felt like he could conquer even Mount Everest right now.

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July 13, 2014

Holla! Ketemu lagi! We meet again! Sorry for the long update. Writing this chapter was such a hardwork. Ideas kept fighting inside my mind, I needed to erase and change this and that to finally produce this. I don't really know, but something in this chap touches me so much. Love Yoona more for her portrayal here. :D. Enjoy the chap, waiting for your comment!

PS: Thanks for the subscribers and upvoters too! I love you, but I love the comments more, hahahahaha :D

Schandelierre