Sunday morning.

Jongin was walking down the Seoul street. He had no certain destination to go into and just rather enjoy the view. Spring had just begun, but Jongin could feel the heat of summer already. Sun was shining rather enthusiastically up there, letting him feel burned, even though half of the sky was covered with black clouds. Jongin ed two of his upmost buttons to let the soothing breeze cool his roasted body.

Strolling down the road like this was much less fun when he was alone. He used to do this with Yifan. They both would spend the day in fun: laughing their asses off, heading from street food vendor to street food vendor, and hitting the park bench stuffing their stomachs with all the food and beverages they bought all along. They would goof around like crazy, attract unnecessary attention from people, and end up laughing even louder than before.

How he missed those moments.

Jongin walked with such empty heart to a pojangmacha, street vendor, that sold ddeokbokki. It was the vendor he always visited when he was in appetite to eat the delicious snack. The seller was a middle aged, friendly lady whom he had known very well already. As he was approaching the vendor, she noticed him and a wide smile appeared on her lips.

"Jongin-ah! What a pleasant surprise! You haven't been here for a long time! I miss you so much! I thought you have forgotten me!"

"Hehe, I miss you too, Yuri-ahjumma. I m sorry. I was busy with study, exams, and club. I always got beaten in the weekend, so I couldn't drop by before."

Yuri-ssi laughed heartily.

"Kids this time! You all get weaker from day to day with more and more school stuff. Look how thinner and paler you got there. Ckckck. You need to stuff yourself with my wonderful ddeokbokki. The usual order right? Two ddeokbokki with spicy sauce?"

Jongin' heart was shot by sadness.

"Just make it one, Ahjumma."

"What? What about Yifan-ssi?"

She looked around and seemed to just realize that Yifan was not there.

"Where is he? Are you not going together? You two aren't having a fight, are you?"

"No, Ahjumma. He ..., he already left actually."

"Left? Where?"

"New York."

"New York?!"

"Yep. He flew there last week. He was offered a chance to play on a stage, you know, to perform in a theater.  He always said that his dream was to become an actor. Now he got the chance already. He is pursuing his dream now."

"Will he come back often?"

"I don't know, I don't think so. He is very busy right now, rehearsing every day from morning to evening. His debut will due in six months and he is preparing it with all his life."

The smile that Yuri-ahjumma was giving him was sad, understanding one.

"That's really great for him. I will sorely miss him."

Jongin's heart was sliced with knive. He slightly flinched when he received the food from her. A frown grew on his face as he examined the food in his hands.

"You are mistaken, Ahjumma. You gave me two, I ordered one only."

Yuri-ahjumma delivered Jongin an encouraging smile.

"That's fine, my boy. My food always makes people smile. I want you to smile again, Jongin-ah. Look, my boy, maybe your hyung is gone now, but I believe he will be back someday. You are an important person to him and he will never forget you."

Jongin couldn't say anything but returning her smile with a gentle, thankful one.

"Thank you, Ahjumma. Here."

She shook her head when Jongin handed her money.

"Keep it with you. It is my treat for you. Just come here often so we can talk more."

Jongin couldn't say no. "Thank you, Ahjumma. See you later!"

He left the vendor, holding the food all along. He went to the nearest drink machine and bought a bottle of apple juice. He had decided that he would go to the park bench again to eat the food. His stomach growled so he fastened his step, wanting to reach the bench and finally eat in peace.

But he was frozen on the spot. The food on his hand dropped to the ground. His eyes bulged upon seeing a glint of familiar face walking in the middle of the crowd far before him.

Could it be?

NO WAY!

IT"S DO KYUNGSOO!

Jongin started running fast. It was exactly what happened ten years ago. He ran after him, trying to sneak out between people. He was way bigger than he used to be and it was more difficult to get himself pushed between people. However, still, that made him earn scowls from several people. Jongin paid no attention, he continued pushing himself to the front, trying to get to the person he had been wishing to see for the last ten years. He couldn't believe that after all this time, he was finally about to be able to meet him.

He was still pushing forward. This time, some people cursed him. Some even tried to grab his shirt, give hi a blow with jab or punch. He had to dodge them and he did. He just pushing forward. He penetrated as fast as he could, hoping that the boy wouldn't disappear.

But he disappeared.

After the struggle he had been through, he still couldn't reach that person. Instead, the persong he was longing to see had vanished. As the crowd dissipated, Jongin couldn't observe him anywhere.

His heart was like stabbed by a spear now. He walked frantically to all sides of the block he predicted Kyungsoo would go to. He searched for everywhere, but that Kyungsoo was just nowhere. He puffed, like a blast of smoke in the thin air.

Jongin stopped running, catching his breath like crazy. Desperation and frustration started consuming him that he felt tears began b on his eyes. He chewed his lips and continued walking around, forcing his luck to the sky to finally find his one.

It was all just useless. He didn't find him.

The disappointment now hit him like a boulder, like a jerky punch of burning metal to his chest. He kicked the peeble, trying to suppress his frustration that flared up.

"AAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!"

His scream froze people, their expression was of complete shock. Jongin left the scene, stomping the ground with overwhelmed emotion. He cared nothing to the people's stares. He just had to go, away. He had to return home now and shut himself.

Thunder exploded in the sky and a moment later heavy rain fell on earth. It was too late to find a shelter but Jongin didn't have a tiniest willing to do so. He walked under the pouring rain, eyes straight forward looking empty at the distance through the sheer flow of liquid from his hair. The cold drops of rain did calm his anger, but they also drowned him slowly in sea sadness and despair.

For no particular reason Jongin hated himself. He was just desperately disappointed in himself. He started to feel hard to breathe and he hitched as the tears he was controlling escaped and flew down his cheeks. It was burning under the freezing rain. Jongin continue walking, sobbing with himself. He clutched himself, crying in the middle of the rain, feeling crushed by his umpteenth false hope.

He was betrayed by his wish.

Again ....

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June 16, 2014

I know, I know, I know! You guys want to see the moment right now. But please, hang on, this is just not the time. I choose to stick with my vision guys, it is what drives me to write this story and I ain't betray it. :D

Hang on a very little bit, will you. Something big, major will about to happen. So, stay a bit cooler, please. Don't worry, just don't worry, okay. ;)

Schandelierre