Enter you, 18 years old. 

Enter Taemin, 18 years old.

Taemin actually planned something. Taemin. Ever since he became an idol, he never called the shots. It was always you, catching his visits by chance. But this time, it was Taemin? It was exciting, but you didn't want to keep your hopes up only to be disappointed. 

The drive took a while. Since it was late it the evening, all you saw were houses that were switching off their lights one by one. The van entered the highway soon, and the rows and rows of lamp posts made even looking out the window boring. The driver, presumably their manager, was quiet. The radio wasn't even on, so anything said would make it audible tenfold. Because of this, even Taemin stayed quiet. 

Every once in a while, you stole glances at him. He only stared blankly out the window, like he always did as a child. He wore a wifebeater, something common to Jonghyun's closet, and a black sweater to keep himself semi-warm. His hands were probably freezing because after getting in the car, he never bothered to take them back out of his sweater pockets. 

SHINee's dorm was probably warm if they could afford to wear wife beaters at this time of year. 

"Taemin-ah," the driver spoke up after a long moment of silence. His voice didn't sound too old, so that was probably why SHINee called him a hyung. 

"Ne, hyung." he answered, leaning forward to show a response. 

They talked about something in low voices. You didn't try to pick out words and instead focused on how many cars passed on the opposite end. Working like a charm, you dozed off to sleep against your seatbelt. 

~ ~ ~ 

Taemin's POV

"Ne, hyung." I answered. 

"About the meeting, are you sure your parents are alright with it?" manager hyung asked me for probably the seventh time today. I could understand, since it was going to be a lot of work and far away from home, so he probably really really really wanted to make sure that it was okay. Even then, he was the manager and I was under a contract, so why would he have to ask when the answer was obviously yes? 

He finalized more plans, but stopped mid-way. "Your friend, is she still listening?" he whispered, nudging his head to her direction. 

I looked at her, her hair slowly undoing itself and her hands curled up into small fists because she didn't bring a sweater. Her eyes were closed, but her lips stayed shut meaning she wasn't really asleep yet. She wasn't asleep until her lips parted: something I learned when we were young. "Not yet, hyung." 

"Ah, ne. Well I'll discuss it with the group again maybe two days from now." He nodded, respectfully keeping his voice down so that she could fall asleep faster. 

I couldn't help but look at her again. Her head tilted sideways on her seatbelt, and she used that as a makeshift pillow. Why couldn't she sleep in a messier fashion? "Hyung," I let out unintentionally. "Ah, sorry—,"

"Taemin-ah," he said, a small smile on his face. "It must be hard on you." 

I looked up at him only to see him looking at me through the mirror. 

"As an honest question, would you choose your career over her, or is it the other way around?" 

I looked at her once more, making sure she didn't listen to my answer. "Hyung, I've always wanted to be famous like this. Like I am now. But I don't think I would want to be famous if I can't... shine for her." I gulped, knowing I sounded cheesy the moment I told him. "This is like everything I've dreamed of. I've always wanted to perform for people. I've always wanted to show people I could do it. But none of it matters. None of it matters if she can't see any of it." 

I know this was against the contract. I know we weren't allowed to date, or let anything get in the way of our career as long as the contract stood and as long as it was valid. But I couldn't just say that I wanted this career more than I did her. I couldn't just tell manager hyung that I loved the lights more than I did her smile. That was like telling her I didn't breathe air, and that I breathed carbon dioxide instead. 

He was going to scold me. I know he was. He was going to tell me that I needed to get rid of my feelings, or find a way to block her out of my 'goal'. Before I looked up to meet eyes with him, I swallowed and held my hands to fists so that I had some way of ignoring it all. But when I looked up at him, he was smiling. Not just the small, pity smile, but a smile kind of like my father's when he was proud of me. 

"You're a good child, Taemin. You're an honest child." he nodded and left it at that. 

When we took the ramp that exited the highway, I saw a movement on my side and immediately looked at her. She her lips and hesitantly opened her eyes. It was dark out, so the light wasn't as harsh to her eyes. 

She looked around, probably because she forgot where she was for a moment. She looked at me, her eyes with a buildup of tears from so much yawning. Look away, please. Stop being like this when manager hyung is around.

Manager hyung didn't ask me any more questions before he dropped us off at the dorm. 

~ ~ ~

You stretched your legs after getting out of the car. You bowed to Taemin's manager before he drove off, telling him to be safe at the dark streets. Taemin held the bag he placed at the back earlier. It looked a little heavy, so you offered to hold the other handle, but he refused.

"I can't show you this! Who do you think you are?" he laughed, putting the bag behind him quickly. 

"I was being nice!" You argued, sticking your tongue out at him. "Pabo." you scowled. 

You walked ahead to the main entrance of the building, and looked back at him. He didn't look back at you. It was as if his mind was somewhere else. 

"Taemin?" no response. "Ya~ pa—,"

"I was thinking about something." he began, a shy grin forming on his face. 

You perked up. "What was it?" 

"It's time for a nickname change." he said, nodding at his own statement. 

"Oh?" you asked, undoing the bun that partly undid itself in your sleep. "What name were you thinking? You mean, beides Minnie? Even that won't do?" 

"I was thinking... maybe..." he laughed, placing his hand near his mouth again. 

You looked at him, confused. He glanced up, all jokes aside, and softly smiled at you. 

"Yeobo."