title: [6/10]

The title is nothing common, however, it did not able to fully grasp my attention. I personally think, it is quite plain and I know you could give it a better title. Playing with words and phrases may do the trick.

foreword: [10/10]

I see that you did not go with the typical foreword with your story but you’ve narrated it instead. It gave me an insight how Haylee’s feelings developed for Jackson which is good. And you have ended it with Haylee saying he asked her to dance rather ending it off with a simple sentence. It got me thinking what will she do? Will she accept his request or not? Will she be happy about it? It intrigued me to read and find it out.

plot: [10/10]

Characters that realize their feelings a bit too late are common but that does not mean it is a bad thing. In this case, Jackson grew admiration to the wrong person first before he was able to notice that there was someone better for him and it was his best friend, Haylee, giving the impression that their relationship cannot progressed into something more than friendship. But, that one dance was all it took to know the feeling is mutual. The setting on that part was not somewhere expensive or popular and being said made it more romantic and realistic. You have put your own style into it that made it quite unique from the other stories I have read with plots like yours.

characterization: [20/20]

I found nothing out of place or any mistakes to point out. Even though, this is only a one-shot the characters’ progression was in a steady pace which is good and it helped the flow of the story. 

flow: [18/20]

The flashbacks did sort out a lot of things in the story but I feel that they have owned a lot space on the story which makes the flow of the story a bit choppy. I think the present time in the story was somewhat short and neglected that made me confused along the way. The fututre readers might get tangled on this too so make sure to balance it out and it will be better.

grammar: [20/20]

Original: “Jaebum, your parents are looking for you,” said the husky voice from the side that I could very well identify.

It should be: “Jaebum, your parents are looking for you,” said the husky voice from the side that I could identify very well.

Original: “Aren’t you upset that your best friend ended up marrying the girl you’ve been crushing on since forever?” I asked sort of out of the blue, leaving Jackson confused as to where that question even came from.

It should be: “Aren’t you upset that your best friend ended up marrying the girl you’ve been crushing on since forever?” I asked out of the blue, leaving Jackson confused about where that question even came from.

Original: “Half the things I’ve ever said to you were lies. Did you actually take all of the insults I’ve told you seriously? You know that I like you a lot. I always have.”

It should be: “Half the things I’ve ever said to you were lies. Did you actually take all the insults I’ve told you seriously? You know that I like you a lot. I always have.”

Although they are not really grammatical errors, putting unnecesarry words on sentences is a no-no because it is not really heeded and it might just give you grammatical errors in the first place.

Impact: [7/10] I did enjoy reading your story. It is really cute but the accident did caught me off-guard that almost made me shed some tears since you did not mentioned it somewhere in the story before it came to part where Jackson asked Haylee to dance.

Over-all: [91/100]

Reviewer's note: hello there I hope you find this review helpful. Also, congratualtions you're featured in stark reviews for attaining a score of ninety one! (asdfghjkl a GOT7 fanfic)

-reviewer: ohsians