TITLE: [5/5]

I have no problem with your title. It's interesting, relates to your story and I even searched it and only one page came up with titles exactly like yours, good job.

FOREWORD: [5/10]

The foreword was a bit confusing to me. The way you changed fonts and your wording/grammar kind of confused me. I had to read it a few times before I understood. I would like to recommend sticking to one font and if you want to seperate it then do so by putting a space or a few dashes in between. 

"Right now, there are only happy stories here

The very happy stories of just the two of us (Different from reality)

Is written here, it’s slowly filling up"

The part in parenthesis really kind of bugs me so I suggest:

"Right now, there are only happy stories here.

The very happy stories of just the two of us,

That are very different from our harsh reality.

It is written here, it is slowly filling up the pages."

PLOT: [7/10]

The plot was okay, it's not too cliche but it's not super original either. I didn't really have a problem with it but it did remind me of a few angsty-romance I've read before. I kept in mind that this was a one shot so there wasn't much room for plot development or anything. Overall, it was good.

CHARACTERIZATION: [16/20]

Even though it was just a one-shot your characterizations was pretty good. I got a sense into Jin Ae's mindset and her past. The rest of your characters were kind of just there and I really didn't connect with them as much as I did with Jin Ae. Also, the fact that you had like, four characters introduced at the beginning at the same time really confused me as to who was who. Maybe spread out the character's appearances in your story?

FLOW: [18/20]

The flow was nice and for a one shot, it was good. It was just a tad bit too fast for my taste but nothing major.

GRAMMAR: [17/20]

I read that you said english wasn't your first language, but your grammar and spelling is even better than some of the students in my school (trust me, I've proof read their essays and stuff and it's torture). Great job! There were a few spelling mistakes so I suggest copy and pasting your story into Word on your computer and running spellcheck, but there was really nothing that disrupted my reading.

IMPACT: [13/15]

I found your one shot to be enjoyable. It was sad enough to be angsty and being the cynical person I sometimes am, I really liked it. I have a soft spot for sad stories and stuff so props to you! I also really liked how you added song lyrics to your story. I also write with music and I feel like literature and music go hand in hand. It made your story all the more fun to read.

OVER-ALL: 81/100

REVIEWER'S NOTE: hi, I apologize for taking forever to review your story, I recently just got back from vacation. Again, sorry for the super long delay. I hope I helped you in some way and again, I can't say enough how sorry I am for your delay.

-reviewer: janus4ever