Kris - Part Nine (Final)

Everything felt so surreal – even the surroundings had you gaping as your feet brushed on the cold, wet grass. You walked, taking small steps as you looked around; it looked so familiar here…

You gasped, standing still when suddenly a house appeared; the exact one you stayed in before you had to leave.

“Mom…” Your voice came out in a mere whisper when suddenly you could see her from a distance, happily walking out of the house with a bright smile on her face.

“Dad…” Your voice was much quieter this time, seeing how your parents were so happy outside of the house where you lived – you missed this place so much before it got burnt down to ashes. Your hands extended, wishing to hold onto them just for a second even though you know it was never possible anymore. Your heart skipped a beat, your arms falling to your side when they turned to look at you, a huge grin on their face as they called out your name.

You blinked at them, a painful smile on your face as you took a step towards them – you were on the edge of crying.

Because you knew this was the past that could never become the future anymore.

They were gone, and you had to accept that no matter how much you thought, dreamt, wished that they were back alive.

They had sacrificed their lives for you – but you were so eager, ready to throw that away for Kris. You were ready to put it on the line for him; why?

“We want you to be happy.” Their voices blended together, soothing into your ears with the pain stinging your heart at how they understood your situation – they wished for you to be happy regardless of whom you were with; even if that means you were ready to put your life on the line for just the person you loved. That was fine with them.

All of a sudden you couldn’t move, there was this sort of force that kept you in place, making you just stand there as you looked at them with worried eyes – it has been too short of a time that you were given to see them; even if it wasn’t real. You wanted more time, you needed more time.

This was all becoming a nightmare as they disappeared from your sight – replaced with a new sight that flashed before your eyes as they opened.

Kris sat by the bed, his hand tightly enclosed to yours where he would never let it go ever since you were bedridden here in his bedroom. He had insisted to have you treated and brought up to his room – which is exactly what the doctors and maidens did the moment the doctor had wrapped up your wound at your lower back. A few maidens, including Ma had done their part in washing you up, along with the doctor applying herbal oil to certain areas of your body that had bruises – Kris thought his heart was going to break just watching you motionless as they attended to your wounds.

Thank the Lord and Heavens that the stab did not affect the condition of your spinal cord – or else things could’ve gotten much worse.

It has been roughly eight hours now ever since you came back, and he’s been sitting here ever since. He had insisted he wouldn’t eat – he couldn’t anyway, he wouldn’t leave until you woke up. In which, he had fallen asleep after muttering what he had to say before he dozed off with a very worried heart.

“Why did you do it?” He spoke when you slept, when you were still in your deep slumber waiting to be awaken – he had said many things.

“Didn’t you know how painful it would’ve been? How hurt I was watching you getting injured?”

“Answer me, mei li. Wake up and answer me.”

His voice somehow got weaker.

“Please wake up and answer me.”

There was this crack that sent shivers down his mother’s spine who was watching through the gap of the door.

“I can’t lose you…”

He held onto your hand, pressing it against his cheek as your fingertips got wet by his tears, “Please… I’m so sorry…”

Those were his final words before he slept, before he had decided that he couldn’t take it anymore that he had laid his head down by your body, his body bending down as he closed his eyes to get some rest; with you.

You shifted on the bed, only realizing it was a horrible idea considering the pain stinging at your back wasn’t fully numb – you could partially feel the pain as the tissues of your body were trying to seal up the injury but you weren’t God; it was going to take some time, obviously. You let out a quiet wince, your hand unintentionally giving Kris’s hand a squeeze that you never realized he was holding onto. Kris felt a jolt in his body, his eyes snapping open the moment he felt pressure on his hand as he lifted his chin up – in which, you still never noticed based on how your eyes closed again from the pain you felt earlier.

“Mei li.” Kris breathed out in an instant, shifting closer with the chair he was sitting on with a hiss, realizing he was still a bit too far away that he moved to sit beside you on the bed – there was enough space, after all. He felt his heart leaping, he was so worried – he could almost feel his heart stopping as he stared at your face with concern; he couldn’t even imagine how it will be like if he had lost you…

You opened your eyes again, and this time, they managed to stay open without anything to make you close them as you looked at the ceiling. Your breathing was shallow, but it was gaining its stability as you inhaled and exhaled calmly – the squeeze on your hand made you turn your head to the side a little, lifting your chin up where you locked gazes with Kris staring down on you – you could see the amount of care and anxiety filling his eyes; just how long as he been here, you wondered.

“K-Kris…” You breathed out, your other hand that was free tried to lift up where you only managed to hold it up midway, causing him to lower his body down, looming over you where you could cup one side of his cheek lovingly. He closed his eyes, relishing on your touch where he breathed out in such a shaky voice, “Mei li…”

You frowned, not liking one bit that his lips were quivering, his hand was holding onto yours tightly as if he was worried you’d disappear but you wouldn’t – you couldn’t.

Not in this condition, too.

You saw how his body was trembling as he loomed over you, how cold his cheek felt as you held onto him; you were beginning to worry for him.

“Kris?” You called him out again, only to make him open his eyes as he uneasily revealed how glossy his eyes were; how close he was to letting the damp of his tears break – he was trying so hard to be strong right now.

You shook your head, “Don’t cry…”

He shut his eyes tight, using his other hand to lap his hand over yours that was on his cheek before he muttered under his breath, “I’m so sorry, mei li. I’m sorry.”

You gaped at him, not sure on how to reply him but he took that as a sign that he could continue speaking. His eyes opened, looking down on you with his heart almost crumbling to pieces – what did he do to be with a woman like you? A woman who just threw her life away for him… how?

You let go of his hand holding onto yours, trying your best to cup his face in your hands where you lowered him down to lean his forehead with yours; he felt so helpless without you – it was like he tied himself down with you already.

And there was no other way for him to let go.

“I’m here… Kris. I’m right here.”

His eyes opened, he let a tear roll down his cheek as he sniffed and he only succeeded to give you a nod. “I… I know.”

You frowned, “T-Then why…?”

He sighed, shaking his head, “It’s just that… I was so worried for you, mei li.” You could see how much he meant his words as he looked into your eyes, “I swear that I’d never let anything harm you but… I failed. As a prince, I have failed you.”

You shook your head this time, making him look into your eyes when you said, “Never say that, Kris. Never ever say that.”

“But mei li-“

“I took the liberty in getting in the way; I did what I had to do to protect you. We’re all human, Kris – and beating yourself up just because I chose to protect you isn’t fair. Should I beat myself up because I got injured when I did what my heart told me to? Should I beat myself up for denying the rules of what my mind told me; which is to not be with you in the first place when all I wanted to do was love you forevermore?”

Kris bit his lower lip, finding that the only thing he could do is shake his head; how could he deny it when you were right?

You smiled at him this time, “So don’t blame yourself and don’t apologize. I protected you because I love you – and I don’t regret it at all.”

Kris had his eyes closed, allowing a tear to roll down as he gave a nod, it urged you to kiss his nose – which is exactly what you did. It made him open his eyes with a sigh, your thumbs brushing away his tears with a sheepish smile when he broke out into a grin; you made things alright again.

Before you had the chance to say anything, he had spoken, “I know you have many questions to ask; to why you got kidnapped but… I have something to say first.”

You sealed your lips shut, blinking at him when he saw it as a signal he should go on while he had the chance to. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, his first sentence coming out in a quiet whisper, “I’m very sorry, mei li.”

He frowned at you, his hands lapping over yours on his cheek, “I’m sorry that I couldn’t understand to why you wouldn’t accept my help – my way of taking care of you. I’m sorry that I couldn’t tell you what I truly meant without hurting your feelings; I apologize so much, mei li.”

He could see how your lips parted, but he  swiftly had his hand, his index finger to be exact, to silence your lips, “I still have more to say, mei li.”

You huffed adorably, pursuing your lips whereas he held back a grin to continue speaking.

“I know that I should be more understanding and I will – I truly will. I’ll learn to respect your space but, I just wanted more time with you. I want to see you so badly but because of your working hours, I can’t do so. It doesn’t just pain me to not able to see you but it also pains me on how hard you’re working – I feel so bad, do you know that?”

You shook your head; this wasn’t part of what he had said days ago…

“I feel bad because I have it easy – but you don’t. You have to work so hard whereas I could just give it to you without you asking for it but I couldn’t understand to why you wouldn’t accept it. Until… after I had a talk with my mother and I understand now; I’ll take things slow, mei li. I won’t pressure you too much and I’ll learn, and I’ll try to comprehend. A-Alright?"

With a smile on your face, and that little nod you gave him as you reached to hold onto his hand that was silencing your lips to move it away, he could only feel his heart melting when you whispered back, “Alright.”