Yoona stared at her watch as she sat by the steel chairs by the corridor located outside the room of her psychiatrist. She crossed her leg over the other and waited patiently for her turn. She looked around the corridor and noticed a lot of people passing by from nurses, doctors, patients and civilians. 

 

She puffed her cheeks and let her gaze wander around the place. To be honest, if only this isn’t her last session she would have stayed at the office and buried herself to work. But the company has specifically advised her to finish the therapy. 

 

Yoona has been rather busy with work. Because of the incident which she personally investigated and revealed, a lot of bad people were arrested including TBS’ president and CEO Jang Han Eul. The VP of News and Current Affairs Ji Jin Chul, who Mr. Jang promoted after conspiring to misdirect news about Yeon Ho Joon’s factory scandal, was also arrested. The board immediately decided to throw out the two from their position. It was a desperate move given that their trust rating and stocks have plummeted to the lowest ever. 

 

Hoping to pacify the outcry of the public and to recover before a financial downfall, the board has temporarily appointed Yoona as the interim president. They didn’t bother whether she was younger than many other possible candidates. She was the voice of truth and justice. She was the name people clamored for. She was the beacon of light that illuminated their world tarnished with lies and deception. The people saw Yoona as a hero which is why they made a bold management decision. 

 

And so far, after two months, both TBS’s trust rating and stocks have recovered and continued its upward trend. Yoona decided that in order to regain the trust of the public, they have to extend the primetime news slot and expand coverage of the issue. 

 

Yoona provided them the list of names involved with the organization who were mostly arrested by a special task force created by the president’s office. It was a combination of police officers outside SPD, the Korean Intelligence Unit which is a front of the CIAA, and the Korean Security Service which is equivalent to MI6 or FBI. 

 

Whether it was the arrest of Ahn, Jang, Yeon, Ji and all the other names in the list, the on-going investigation of Yoona’s kidnapping, the search of the Suzy and her father who both have criminal sketches posted locally and internationally (all thanks to Yoona’s cooperation), the social and economic impact of this issue as well as the dark truth within the world of media, Yoona made sure that their reporters are focused and updated to any news. 

 

Yoona at first didn’t like the temporary promotion. She didn’t think she deserved it or she was capable of leading the company. But when the employees of the company and even the public cried for her appointment, Yoona realized that she became a role model to her colleagues and a hero to the people. She also decided that grabbing this opportunity will give her the power to change the direction and protocols within the station, not just about news and current affairs but in general including other forms of media, human resources, report credibility, security, data and information, logistics, artists and staff relations and many others. 

 

It also served as a distraction from Jessica.

 

It has been two months since they separated. Yoona moved out and rented an apartment for herself. She thought she could move in with her parents but she didn’t want them to ask why she would be staying with them. They’ll find out she and Jessica have separated and they’ll be devastated for the both of them. Of course, they love their daughter Yoona, but they also love and care for Jessica. Yoona thought maybe she can defer telling them the truth for now.

 

Maybe when things are less complicated. When she is finally okay. When she has finally moved on.

 

Yoona heaved a heavy sigh. Almost ten sessions in and she still is struggling to forget Jessica. Her psychiatrist did say that it will take a while.

 

The door to the room she was waiting at opened and out came a patient wheeled on a wheelchair by his guardian. They bowed in gratitude to the doctor before going back to his room. Yoona grabbed her purse and went inside the room after her name was called.

 

“Good morning, Yoona.” Her doctor greeted and gestured that she sit on the chair in front of her desk. “I’m sorry if I made you wait. The last patient was referred to me last minute. He got into a motorbike accident.”

 

“Is he okay now?” Yoona placed her purse on top of her thighs before crossing her leg over the other again. 

 

“He’ll be fine soon.” The doctor reassured with a grin. She put her hands on the table and entwined it firmly as she faced Yoona with a gentle look on her face. “It’s your tenth session. The last and final one. How do you feel?”

 

Yoona shrugged but a small smile was playing on her lips. “I’m not gonna lie. I’m excited. This way I’ll be able to focus with work and not worry about a session every three days.”

 

“Good.” She leaned against her swivel chair and propped a hand under her jaw. “Did you have any incidents these past two days?”

 

Yoona shook her head. “I didn’t. It’s the same as usual. Work and home. Same routine everyday.”

 

The doctor nodded. “Are you having any nightmares or reliving memories or flashbacks of what happened?”

 

“Sometimes.” Yoona admitted. “Yesterday I had a panic attack when I accidentally broke a coffee mug at my place. I had difficulty breathing. I felt like my throat was constricted. I felt lightheaded and I felt like I was being into a wormhole. I couldn’t move at all.”

 

The doctor looked alarmed. She left her seat and walked around her desk to get Yoona’s folder from her steel drawer then sat at the chair opposite of Yoona. “ Another attack.” She muttered. She flipped through the pages of the folder. “You also had an attack two weeks ago. What triggered that? You said the attack yesterday was due to a broken mug. What about the other one?”

 

“Ahh…” Yoona pondered for a while before recalling what happened. “There was a rally we covered demanding the Seoul Police Department to turn over all cases Ahn Gong Jin was a part of.  It was a success since the President ordered that all his cases be transferred to the special task force. There were fireworks that night since the people were rejoicing and I just…” She could recall the way her body shook upon hearing the consecutive detonation of fireworks. “I just forced myself to walk to my car despite feeling like my soul left my body and stayed there until I calmed down.”

 

The doctor eyed Yoona with slight irritation. “Unnie.” Her tone was hard. “I asked you that time what happened and you said it was nothing serious.” She scoffed. “This is freaking serious! You had an attack in public and you could have lost consciousness too had you not make it to the car.”

Yoona waved a hand. “I’m fine now.”

“You’re not.” She retorted. “I think we need to extend your therapy.”

 

“No.” Yoona declined almost instantly.

 

The doctor eyed her skeptically. “Unnie, we need to deal with your PTSD more seriously.”

“How about we make a deal?” Yoona offered as the doctor stared at her pointedly. “I will visit you regularly. At least once a week or two. But I need this session to be over so I can work without the HR and my colleagues pestering me. I need them to think that I am okay.” She pleaded.

 

The doctor took a deep sigh. “But you’re not.”

 

Yoona leaned forward and propped an elbow on her thigh. “But I still need to pretend that I am.” She her dry, nervous lips. “I can’t have them asking me every day if I am okay. They always worry about me and I don’t even know how to answer that. Because the truth is my mind and my heart are scarred and I don’t know how to fix it. That’s why I prefer working all the time to distract myself.”

 

The doctor tilted her head. “Unnie, I already told you that the matters of the heart can only be resolved by time. The psychological factor though, we can fix it, I can fix it but only if you’ll let me.” She eyed Yoona suspiciously. “You said you hate lying and that you and your wife broke up because of a huge lie she kept from you. Isn’t it ironic that you’ve been lying to me lately? Even to your friends.”

 

Yoona sighed heavily. She shifted guiltily in her seat and leaned against it. “I know. And I feel like .” She shook her head in frustration. “I keep on doing what I hate. I don’t know why I’ve become like this.”

 

The doctor took her time to let Yoona air her frustrations. Once the girl was silent and calm, she proceeded. “Okay. I’ll give you the clearance but you have to keep your promise that you’ll come every week. Not once every two weeks but every week.” She emphasized. “If you don’t keep this promise, I’ll personally go to your office and do the session there.”

 

Yoona chuckled. She put a hand up as a sign of promise. “I swear.” She grinned naughtily. “Are we done?”

 

The doctor frowned. “You wish.”

 

They continued the therapy until the doctor noticed that two hours had passed. She put Yoona’s folder back in her drawer then sat down on her swivel chair again to sign Yoona’s certificate and prescription. She prescribed two drugs. First is sleeping pills to help Yoona’s insomnia caused by nightmares or flashbacks of the kidnapping incident. Second is paroxetine, known as a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor or SSRI, to treat depression, panic attacks, obsessive-compulsive disorder, anxiety disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder. It helps restore the balance of a serotonin in the brain.

 

“The medication will also need evaluation so you need to come see me every week so we can see the improvement.”  The doctor strongly reminded Yoona. She tore the prescription off her pad and handed it to Yoona. She also gave her patient her certification that she finished the 10 therapy sessions as the HR and the board recommended.

 

Yoona grinned as she took the prescription and certificate. She faced her doctor with a solemn smile. “How I wish there is also a drug that can cure heartbreaks.”

 

Her doctor heaved a disappointing sigh. “Unfortunately, there is no cure yet.”

 

Yoona bitterly nodded. “I guess I’ll be mentally and psychologically okay in a few months. Emotionally though, it might take some time.”

 

“Unnie-”

 

“I know, Irene.” Yoona cut her off. “I don’t need your sympathy. I just need you to understand.”

 

The doctor, revealed to be named Irene, nodded her head. “You know I do. I’m your cousin, your friend and your doctor.”

 

Yoona sighed, relieved to hear that. Then she remembered something. “By the way, please don’t tell mom and dad yet. Even Yonghwa.”

 

“They need to know, unnie.” Irene reasoned.

 

“I know. I know that.” Yoona agreed. “But I’ll tell them when I’m ready.”

 

“Or when you’ve moved on.” 

 

“That could be the case too.” Yoona admitted. “But for now I need time.”

Irene nodded. It wasn’t her story to tell. And as Yoona’s doctor, she can’t divulge any information to anyone else as part of patient-doctor confidentiality. “I understand.” She sighed dejectedly. “It’s unfortunate though that I haven’t met this ex wife of yours.”

 

“Well you’ve just returned to Korea to start your medical practice. You were in Toronto busy with your studies and your wife.”

 

“True that.” She clapped her hands when an idea hit her. “How about we have dinner next week?”

 

Yoona nodded, loving the idea. “Sure. Where do you want to eat?”

 

“Wendy and I ate at the Tangerine Hotel’s Copper Plate restaurant the last time. The food was delicious. Do you want to go there?”

 

“I’d love that.” Yoona agreed. She brought her wrist up to look at the time. “I have a meeting to attend to, Irene. I should go now.” She stood.

 

Irene jumped to her feet and walked around her desk to give Yoona a hug. “You and I have a lot of catching up to do. How about you invite us over at your place? I don’t remember you having a housewarming party.”

 

“You haven’t had a housewarming party either. Didn’t you and Wendy purchase a new house? You should invite me over so I can know Wendy better. Who is the woman who fell victim to your craziness?”

 

Scoffing in disbelief, Irene punched Yoona slightly hard on the shoulder. “I’m not crazy.”

 

“Sure, doc.” Yoona replied sarcastically, rubbing the hit shoulder. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”

 

Irene sighed heavily as she watched her cousin leave. Her heart hurt for Yoona. She had a lot to go through these past few months. Honestly, with all that happend, Irene is actually glad that Yoona’s PTSD is not as severe as she witnessed during med school and internship. Yoona is strong, Irene knew that, but she’s also human so she’s bound to get hurt. 

 

Irene doesn’t understand why Yoona’s marriage failed. Every time she will call or chat with Yoona and ask how she has been, Yoona would often say that she’s perfectly happy with Jessica. Irene knew her name, her occupation but she has never seen her face. Yoona often talked about her with so much love and joy before but during their session she could feel that Yoona’s still in love with her yet something is preventing her from accepting and embracing that fact.

 

Which is why it confused Irene. What could be the reason Yoona is punishing herself like this? What was that big lie Yoona found out? It didn’t seem like Jessica cheated. So what could be the reason?

 

Was Jessica perhaps related to Yoona’s kidnapping case? Or was she like a spy or something? Or perhaps she wasn’t really a lawyer? Irene frowned. An ? Hooker? Or was she married before with a child and didn’t tell Yoona?

 

Irene shook her head as her imagination got wild. She mentally called herself stupid for thinking extreme and bizarre things. 

 

Maybe it wasn’t a big lie. With how Yoona is, with all her values and principles about honesty, even a small lie can break her trust.

 

She sighed as she walked toward the door. She needs to clear her mind so she can start her rounds. She put Yoona and her concerns at the back of her mind and mustered a smile, back into Doctor Irene mode.

 

****
 

 

Jessica pretended she was typing something on her computer but she was stealthily, at least she thought she was, checking Yoona's well-being by engaging Sunny in a private chat server. She was so absorbed with the exchange that she didn't notice Tiffany and Yuri were staring at her from the conference room.

 

The agents have their own tables at the office, a lounge area in the corner room and a conference room made of glass and can only be accessed through biometrics. Yuri and Tiffany arrived around half an hour ago but even after standing behind Jessica for a few minutes they weren't noticed. Jessica was far too distracted to care. Her mind was too preoccupied with whatever exchange she had with Sunny.

 

Curious, they fetched Kyungsoo downstairs and dragged him quietly in the conference room where they pleaded (more like threatened) him to hack into Jessica's computer so that they could see what she and Sunny were talking about. 

 

At first Kyungsoo refused, compared to these two he was more scared of Jessica. However, when they sincerely explained that they are asking this favor not because they wanted to gossip but rather to find out what is making Jessica distraught, he obliged. Still, doing it tugged his moral fiber and conscience.

 

"So she found out Yoona has been going to a hospital to see a psychologist and for some reason after three sessions Yoona went to dinner with this lady." Yuri summarized, looking at Kyungsoo's laptop.

 

"Well that explains why she looks distraught." Tiffany peared over Jessica and saw her anxiously biting her nails. "If I was in her position I would feel the same way."

 

"You mean if you heard your ex seeing someone else you'll be like that?" Yuri furrowed her brows, not understanding the minds of these women.

 

"If you say it like that it will seem that it's done out of bitterness." Tiffany rolled her eyes at her sometimes insensitive wife. "It's not. You know Jessica and Yoona broke up but deep down inside they still both love each other. Or probably just Jessica." She mentally cursed Yoona for seemingly enjoying her new found freedom. "Put yourself in Jessica's shoes first. Imagine waking up and there is no one at the other side of the bed. You get up and there is no one to smile at you, to cheer you up, to positively send you energy for yet another crappy day. You go to work and you don't have the reason to quickly go home. You go home and you feel so alone. And right now, you feel so broken, so hurt, because the person you love is happy without you in her life."

 

Yuri was silent, finally understanding what Tiffany meant and getting a glimpse of how Jessica is feeling. "But shouldn't she be happy? Yoona, despite getting tangled up in Jessica's business, despite nearly losing her life, is happy or at least she is trying to be. I know she loved Jessica and I know this is insensitive for me to say this, but Yoona deserves to be happy. I know Jessica is suffering, I know how hurt and broken her heart is, but as her friends it is our duty to be there for her, to be her shoulders to cry on."

 

"Aren't you even pissed Yoona is quick to get over Jessica? It has only been two months and she's already been on a date with this doctor. They probably hooked up after Yoona's therapy- a therapy when she was most fragile and this doctor probably took advantage of it and seduced her." Tiffany concluded childishly.

 

They were all interrupted when the door to their office opened and in came Seohyun. Jessica quickly said goodbye to Sunny and closed the server then stood up to greet her younger but higher in power colleague. 

 

Seohyun. "Hi, unnie. Let's proceed to the conference room."

 

Jessica nodded and followed Seohyun. She was rather surprised when she saw Kyungsoo in the room but it seems luck was on his side when Seohyun said Kyungsoo's in-charge of today's briefing presentation.

 

Jessica took a seat. She was seated on the left side of the long conference table. Seohyun was at the end while Kyungsoo, Tiffany and Yuri seated on the right. The white wall at the other end of the table was then illuminated with the projector. Pressing a remote, Seohyun automatically switched the lights off. 

 

"Our target is Oh Man Sik. He was part of Interpol's most wanted in our country." Seohyun began, looking at the presentation Kyungsoo provided.

 

"Was?" Jessica asked.

 

"Yes. Was." Seohyun answered, then signalled Kyungsoo to go to the next page. "He was a bomb expert who sold his works to many international terrorist groups. However, he double crossed a Russian Mafia by selling them explosives which they were supposed to use in a convention of World Leaders here in Seoul, Korea last month. Now, he is being hunted by the said Mafia so Oh Man Sik did what he thought was gonna save his - surrender to the FBI."

 

"The Feds?" Tiffany asked. "Wow. Are we going to be working with them?"

 

"Yes, we are Tiffany. The President gave authority that the investigation and solution of this case be handed over to foreign government agencies namely the FBI, the CIA and the Interpol." Seohyun nodded, urging Kyungsoo to head to the next page. "Now.... Our main headquarters investigated everything that Oh Man Sik told them and they found out who the head of this Mafia is."

 

Kyungsoo tapped his keyboard and a photo flashed on the wall. Seohyun used a laser and encircled the said photo.

 

"Meet Evon Kalofsky. He is the son of the renowned Mafia leader Vladimir Kalofsky who died in a raid done by the Korean National Police-Seoul Division eleven years ago." Seohyun explained. "According to our intel and Oh Man Sik, Kalofsky targeted that said convention where World Leaders were present because if an unfortunate event happened under the watch of the Republic of Korea to any one of those Leaders, this country would feel the wrath of other countries."

 

Imagine if the president of any country, particularly first world countries, got harmed or worst killed in that attempted explosion, South Korea's political and diplomatic relationships to other countries will be compromised. It may even lead to war. Even if other countries decide to not shed any blood, they can simply stop aiding, investing and travelling to South Korea. South Korea will be shunned, its economy plummeted, foreign relations scarred, and peace threatened.

 

"So as a form of revenge Evon Kalofsky tried to ruin this country by ruining our relationship with other countries." Yuri added. "I must say, that was a great idea."

 

"Yes, it was. Had the bomb attempt been a success, South Korea would have found itself with a gun on its face." Seohyun said metaphorically.

 

"Gun? Try nuclear warheads." Jessica scoffed.

 

Seohyun hummed and nodded. "True. Anyway, he didn't think that Oh Man Sik would guiltily follow his conscience. You see, Oh Man Sik admitted that the reason Kalofsky transacted with him was because he was a scumbag who loved money before anything else. Kalofsky ordered the explosives without telling what it was for. Oh, curious why Kalofsky ordered a huge amount of explosives and being secretive about it, secretly investigated. That's when he found out about Kalofsky's plan and so on the date of transaction, Oh sold him explosives that will have less impact and damage than Kalofsky wanted."

 

"And so, now this Evon Kalofsky is pissed because Oh Man Sik thwarted his master plan." Jessica deduced. "Let me guess, he's hunting Oh Man Sik."

 

"Yes, he is." Seohyun agreed. "After briefing with all the agencies involved, our head office have decided to exactly give Kalofsky what he wants."

 

Tiffany swivelled her seat from left to right, hands clasped together while her elbows propped on the armchairs.  "You mean Oh Man Sik will be used as bait?"

 

"Yes. In order to get Kalofsky, the Interpol, FBI and CIA has decided to use Oh as bait." Seohyun added. She crossed her arms at chest and waited for their reactions.

 

Yuri thoughtfully nodded her head. "Indeed, if Kalofsky is on the loose then there is a high probability he will try again."

 

"There's an upcoming Asian Summit next week, Friday. Do you think he'll try to pull anything bad that day?" Tiffany mused, crossing her leg over the other.

 

"Our intel says yes. In fact as early as yesterday, Kalofsky entered our country. He is currently staying at the Tangerine Hotel as we speak." Seohyun beckoned Kyungsoo to go to the next page of the presentation and played a CCTV footage of Evon Kalofsky checking in the Tangerine, going up the elevator and walking the corridor going to his room. They watched in silence until the footage ended when he went into his room. "He's staying in room 7110."

 

"So what's the plan?" Jessica asked.

 

"The infiltration and stake out will be left to us, the CIA, while the FBI will make sure all officials and authorities of the state know about our operation, the Interpol will move in and make the public arrest."

 

"So we're doing the dirty work," Jessica concluded. "While being in the shadows." She added.

 

"Yes. The FBI doesn't want to be publicly involved and the Interpol wants to be credited with the arrest. Don't worry, you guys will get a handful of Interpol agents to back you up. We're going to be working undercover, do a stakeout and we'll do an entrapment operation." Seohyun explained. "Can you guys handle it or do I need more agents?"

 

Jessica raised an eyebrow at the question. Seohyun always fired them up with these kinds of comments. She is not questioning their capabilities, because she knows how damn skilled these three women are, but a little something to spice them up is not exactly a bad thing. Besides, being fired up and focused on the job temporarily relieves Jessica of thinking about Yoona at least for a short time.  

 

"No, Seohyun. You do not need any more agents except the three of us." Jessica said through gritted teeth. "So what's our undercover role?"

 

Seohyun grinned excitedly, prompting Kyungsoo to turn the next page. Jessica's mouth fell agape at the scandalous sketch of the draft for her undercover role for the entrapment operation. Tiffany and Yuri chuckled lightly.

 

"You've got to be kidding me." Jessica scoffed at what she is seeing. "Don't tell me I'm gonna be a...casino entertainer." She struggled to find her words.

 

"No, you're not." Seohyun hummed playfully but grinned deviously. "You're gonna be a worker searching for clients at the bar with your pimp- the barista." The next page was a sketch of Yuri's costume and undercover role. "And Tiffany, you'll be working at the front office."

 

"When will we start?" Jessica huffed disapprovingly.

 

"Stakeout starts today. We need to know everything Kalofsky will do, the places he'll go, the people he'll meet, even what he'll eat. For sure, he'll meet people that he'll use to execute his plan. Our intel says he's planning another explosion, this time he'll make sure the plan goes accordingly. So beware and be alert." Seohyun stood up from her seat. "The entrapment is on Thursday next week, a day before the Asian Summit."

 

"Okay." Yuri nodded but then gazed at Seohyun when she remembered something. "Wait, Thursday? That's Sunny's birthday, right? She invited us to her party at the Lotte Hotel."

 

"I know, Yuri." Seohyun giggled. "Don't worry. We'll finish the mission just in time before her party. Besides, Lotte Hotel is just across the Tangerine, right?"

 

They took Seohyun's assurance into consideration. If they go according to plan, they'll wrap up just in time for Sunny's party. What could go wrong?

 

****

 

Yoona stared at her watch, waiting for Irene patiently and nervously outside the hotel. This is the first time they'll be eating with just the two of them, alone, and in such a place like a five star hotel restaurant.

 

Yoona heard her phone chime so she reached for it from the inside pocket of her beige blazer. She was still wearing her office attire - white blouse topped with a beige blazer, paired with a beige slacks, black closed-toe heels while her pastel purse hooked on her right arm. She looked very fashionable, a quality she has learned from Jessica. Married couples tend to learn each other's habits and qualities so albeit they are already separated, it's still a quality that remained in her nonetheless. Besides, having Jessica repeatedly drag her to shop for clothes and coordinating her outfit each morning before going to work, Yoona just found it natural to dress decently.

 

"She did say my style was a travesty." Yoona chuckled, reminiscing the comment Jessica told her after Yoona had proposed. 

 

Shaking the thought of Jessica off her head, Yoona checked the message on her phone. It was from Irene.

 

Hey, I'm at the Copper Plate waiting. See you!

 

Yoona smiled and tucked her phone back in her blazer. She put the strap of her purse on her right shoulder then went inside the Tangerine Hotel.

 

As she made her way to the front desk, Yoona tied her hair to a ponytail. She gathered her locks with both hands, bit her hair tie with her teeth, then took it, wrapped her locks in it and tightened it to make sure it stayed in place.

 

"Hi, good evening. I was wondering where the Copper Plate restaurant is?" Yoona said to the front desk officer, a woman, who was looking down the entire time from the moment she walked into the hotel until she reached the front desk. "Excuse me?"

 

The said FO looked up and to Yoona's surprise it was a very familiar face. 

 

"T-Tiffany?" Yoona breathed out.

 

Tiffany put a finger on her lips, hushing Yoona. "My name's Lee Yeon Hee." Her eyes twitched as she gave Yoona a hard glare, as if silently telling her to pretend that they do not know each other. 

 

Yoona looked confused but when Tiffany turned her head to the left, she was able to see the earphone on her right ear. "Oh Man Sik is in the lobby. Do you guys copy? Where is Kalofsky?"

 

Yoona watched in silence. Deep inside she was a little curious and fascinated with what Tiffany was doing. "It seems like they are on a mission." She mentally noted.

 

"What?!" Tiffany half-shouted, half-whispered to whoever she was talking to. "What the are you doing, Yuri? You were supposed to watch him. So, where did he go? He left the bar?"

 

Yoona stood on her left leg, her right leg outstretched to the side as she folded her arms on her chest. She was really long, Tiffany noted. Tiffany rolled her eyes at Yuri's excuses on her ear and along the way her gaze found Yoona's hands then her long fingers. She smirked while remembering Jessica's blooming face which Tiffany called an after glow. Jessica was not privy with her life but Tiffany could tell Jessica has been taken to paradise by Yoona many times with those same fingers. Jessica did mention before she bought Yoona a hand moisturizer as a gift, proving her love for Yoona's hands. 

 

Moving her gaze from Yoona's hands, Tiffany studied her from head to toe. She let an inaudible gasp of amazement. Yoona's attire tonight looked fashionable and classy. She can tell it was an office attire but it looked semi-formal as well so it looked good as a leisure outfit. Her style improved thanks to Jessica, Tiffany noted. She then met Yoona's gaze and she felt embarrassed for a moment. It wasn't her intention to stare. She was just studying the girl's look since right now she was not oozing any post-breakup aura that was emanating from Jessica as of late.

 

In fact Yoona looked well, too well, like she's moved on. That or she was really good at carrying herself and keeping her emotions in check.

 

"The Copper Plate, can I know where it is?" Yoona asked, ignoring the way Tiffany observed her.

 

"Ummm, on the 12th floor. Do you have a reservation?" Tiffany asked, returning to her undercover mode.

 

"Yeah, I do." Yoona nodded.

 

Tiffany bent down and fumbled with the hotel's computer. She temporarily moved away from her professional laptop to access the hotel's data system. "Yes, I see you do have a reservation here and someone's already at your table."

 

Yoona nodded. "I see. I thought we would meet outside but it seems like she went ahead." She prepared to leave. "Thanks."

 

Yoona stopped on her tracks when she heard Tiffany's voice. "A date?"

 

"Yeah, something like that." Yoona answered. "Though I wasn't inclined to answer that question."

 

"It's nice to see you've moved on." Tiffany reproached.

 

"Yeah, that tends to happen when you want to move on with life." Yoona fired back. "I'm glad you're well Tiffa- I mean Yeon Hee."

 

Before Yoona could even take a step, a figure rushed to her side. "I'm sorry, but can you put a hand around my shoulder?" She sounded urgent.

 

Yoona looked down, automatically recognizing the scent that filled her senses. "Excuse me?"

 

The stranger looked up and the hazel eyes met Yoona's black ones. "Y-Yoona?"

 

"Kalofsky is here." Tiffany whispered to Jessica.

 

Jessica set aside her racing heart and the embarrassment she felt when Yoona saw her wearing her worker costume. She wore black stilettos, a red off shoulder, skimpy dress. Her make-up was thick and rebellious while her auburn hair was hidden by her long, burgundy wig.

 

Yoona did not move. She was too shocked to move and there were a lot of factors that affected her inability to move a muscle - there was Jessica's scent that paralyzed her senses, the feeling of Jessica's body pressing against hers, and this same beauty that still never fails to leave her breathless.

 

"I'm sorry but can I ask a favor?" Jessica said, interrupting Yoona's thoughts. "We're in the middle of an undercover mission. I need your help. Put your arm around me."

 

Yoona hesitated. After finishing her psychiatric evaluation, she concluded that she needed to stay away from Jessica and let the feelings she have for her die down slowly. Now that she's near Jessica, those same feelings are burning like never before. Yoona sighed. Why is it so hard to forget this woman?

 

Yoona hesitated but Jessica saying please again and again made her finally relent. So Yoona s her arm down Jessica's waist, placing her hand on Jessica's side then pulled her closer to her. Jessica's heart skipped a beat, feeling crazy about Yoona all the same.

 

Jessica noticed Tiffany's arching eyebrow and gaping mouth, face expression clearly teasing Jessica with the moment she shared with Yoona. Jessica ignored her and the heat her body was feeling and raised her left hand, speaking into her bracelet that served as a microphone. "I got eyes on Kalofsky. He's approaching Oh Man Sik. Get ready to grab him."

 

Through her peripheral, Jessica saw Yuri hiding behind a wall on the corner, gun with silencer ready at hand. Yoona looked anywhere but Jessica however curiosity got the best of her so she momentarily looked down. She then noticed Jessica's dress had a slit, showing a little bit of her right thigh and a black material. It looked like a band or something. Yoona swallowed, that was probably a gun holster.

 

"Sorry." Jessica said to Yoona before turning around and hugging her instead. Her high stilettos enabled Jessica to look past Yoona's shoulder, keeping her eyes fixed on Kalofsky who was approaching a clueless Oh Man Sik. The CIA told Oh Man Sik to wait in the lobby where he will be escorted by the FBI into the witness protection program. He wasn't keen about the idea of being a bait when it was first brought up so they devised a plan that will make him bait but of course without his idea or approval. It was for the good of many, they said.

 

Yoona squirmed uncomfortably under Jessica's touch. Irene once said that forgetting will be difficult. And it's proven correct because right now Yoona was badly tempted to reciprocate the hug. But she won't. She had to be strong. So her arms fell limply to her side, not touching Jessica at all. All she had to do was wait for this to be over and she can go and practice her "steps of getting over her ex".

 

"He's seven feet away from Oh Man Sik." Jessica said to her mic.

 

Yoona trembled when Jessica's hot breath hit her neck. Still, she stayed standing there, arms on her side.

 

"Interpol, he is closing in on Oh Man Sik." Jessica gasped. "He's got a gun." She saw his right hand reach behind the bulge on his back. 

 

Jessica reached for her gun on her right inner thigh. She didn't remove it from the holster yet, waiting for him to take out the thing behind his back in order to verify that it is indeed a gun. Yoona froze on her spot. Jessica reached for her gun but the back of her hand was pressed against Yoona's thigh. Yoona desperately thought about anything else other than the hand, the warmth in front of her and the alluring scent of Jessica's perfume. 

 

To Jessica's relief, the Interpol agents dressed as the bellboy and the doorman slowly walked towards the unexpecting Kalofsky and before he could pull what was on his back, he was restrained. 

 

Kalofsky grunted as the agents put his hands on his back. He was muttering Russian words, probably cursing those people but nonetheless they handcuffed him successfully and took him away without Oh Man Sik and the hotel guests noticing. Except Yoona.

 

Jessica heaved a sigh of relief then cold sweat filled her body when she realized the position she was in. She closed her eyes, muttering curses in the wind for she knew the look on Tiffany's face when she witnessed this scene and for being a thick face asking Yoona for a favor like this.

 

Jessica released Yoona from her embrace and slowly backed away. "I'm sorry about that. I know it was out of the blue and you probably thought I was a weird stranger or something so..."

 

Yoona rubbed her nape in discomfort. "That's okay. I really was surprised." Then she smiled a little. "At least this time I knew beforehand that you're undercover."

 

Jessica knew it was a joke but somehow it pricked her conscience. Her life as Yoona's wife might have been her cover but for her it felt like it was her reality. Most of the time the line between her reality and cover life blurred. Being in Yoona's arms was her reality yet every time she went to work she realized holding guns, stakeouts, entrapments, bullets were her reality.

 

"Were you supposed to seduce him with that outfit?" Yoona asked, her tone still indicating it was a joke.

 

Jessica paused for a while, pondering what to say. "Yes. I met him yesterday and we were supposed to go back to his room. "

 

Yoona looked taken aback. "O-Oh, I see."

 

Jessica gasped, thinking Yoona may have wrongly interpreted that. "We won't have or anything, okay?" She flailed her hands in outright denial. "When he made a move on me I was supposed to put him unconscious. Just like what I always do."

 

Yoona nodded. "Okay... But honestly though you did not have to clarify that. It's your work and I have no business with it."

 

Jessica's face fell. Somehow Yoona's words manage to both sound harmless yet prick her conscience at the same time. "I-I know. I just- I don't want you to think that I engaged myself to intimate acts with anyone in all my missions when we were still together."

 

Yoona put a hand on the left pocket of her slacks. "Past is past, Jessica. But I appreciate you telling me."

 

"I didn't cheat on you." Jessica added firmly.

 

"You just lied." Yoona smiles sadly. "Listen, I gotta go. I'm meeting someone."

 

Tiffany finished whatever she was doing on her work laptop then closed it and put it back in its bag. She moved out of the front desk while two women wearing the same uniform as hers took over the space she left. Those were probably the real front office employees.

 

"Let's go, Sica. They are sweeping his room and the Copper Plate." Tiffany said, tugging Jessica's arm.

 

"Copper Plate? Why is it being swept?" Yoona asked, half curious and half worried.

 

"The person we just apprehended will try to bomb tomorrow's Asian Summit." Tiffany explained in a low voice so others wouldn't hear. "The Asian Leaders' luncheon will be here, at the Copper Plater, tomorrow. So it is being swept to make sure there are no bombs installed already."

 

"What?" Yoona pulled her phone out and dialled Irene's number. It rang continuously but she didn't pick up. "What if he tries to pull a trigger as of this moment?"

 

"Relax, Yoona." Tiffany put a hand on Yoona's phone, stopping her from making another call. "We got Kalofsky, we got his Mafia underlings and we got his supplier. The bomb squad has deactivated the triggers so all they need to do is sweep the whole hotel and for now they'll start at the Copper Plate." 

 

Yoona lowered her phone. She was still anxious but for some reason she trusted Tiffany's words. "Okay. I'm going up."

 

"No, you can't. They're sending the customers away so they can sweep the area properly. She's going to come down anyway."

 

"Unnie!"

 

Yoona turned her head and saw Irene from afar. The doctor waved at her and slowly walked towards her.

 

"You would not believe what happened-" Irene's words fell short when Yoona jogged her way over to her and engulfed her into a tight hug. 

 

Jessica looked away. For the third time tonight Yoona pricked her heart but this time the prick made her bleed. Her heart is wounded seeing Yoona holding someone else in her arms yet Jessica had to keep her emotions in check. Yoona is no longer hers. After all the lies and pain Jessica put her through, Yoona deserved to be happy this time.

 

Jessica has decided Yoona to be happy, she has swore to do that ever since she realized that Yoona deserved better right after their separation. So Jessica just has to it up, accept the fact Yoona is hugging someone else and put on a smile despite her heart tearing into pieces because this was her choice. She chose to let Yoona go.

 

Yoona broke the hug and stared at Irene worriedly. "What happened?"

 

"Well, turns out there was a gas leak in the kitchen so we were asked to vacate the restaurant. The customers were bummed really but when they found out their dinner is free and that they can go and continue their dinner in any of the Tangerine's restaurants for free as well, they were really quick to leave." Irene chuckled. "I guess most of them went to that buffet restaurant, Orange Yard."

 

Yoona sighed in relief. "Thank goodness."

 

Irene stared at Yoona weirdly. "What's wrong? You look pale."

 

"Nothing. Nothing's wrong- at least for now." Yoona smiled, ruffling Irene's hair. "Well, if Copper Plate isn't available where should we eat then?"

 

Irene pondered for a while then snapped when an idea hit her. "Lotte Hotel is just across, right? We can eat there instead."

 

Yoona nodded. "Sure, I'm okay with that. Let's go?"

 

Irene nodded. She started walking to the exit and Yoona followed closely. To uplift the mood, Yoona said a joke but Irene wasn't the least bit amused so she pushed Yoona instead. Yoona guffawed at Irene's pissed look so she put an arm on her shoulder instead and whispered a better joke. Thankfully Irene found it funny this time so she laughed as well.

 

Their laughters filled the corridor as they went through the exit doors, unaware of a pair of sad eyes watching them. 

 

Once out of the hotel, Irene pushed Yoona away yet again. "You really think you're funny, don't you?"

 

"I'm funny." Yoona said indignantly, boastfully folding her arms at her chest. 

 

"Says who?"

 

"My ex." Yoona answered hesitantly and Irene pursed her lips with an inappropriate question.

 

"I'm sorry." Irene breathed. They waited for the pedestrian light to turn green. "I shouldn't have brought that up."

 

Yoona chuckled. "It was a harmless question. Don't worry about it."

 

"So...." Irene sang, furtively throwing Yoona a glance before bringing it back to the traffic light. She started walking when the pedestrian light turned green. "Amongst the two women you were talking to earlier, who was your ex?"

 

Yoona paused in the middle of the road, staring at Irene in a daze. "W-What?"

 

Irene rolled her eyes. She reached for Yoona's hand and tugged her hard so that she can start walking. The pedestrian light won't stay green forever. Irene has a long life ahead of her and she won't lose it over a stupid pedestrian who was in a daze just because her ex was mentioned.

 

"Please tell me you do not have a death wish." She said as they crossed. "Just because you saw her doesn't mean you have to feel suicidal."

 

"I don't know what you're talking about." Yoona denied.

 

Irene paused in her tracks. They were already across the sidewalk, a few meters away from the Lotte Hotel. The vehicles started moving again and even the people around them but Irene and Yoona stood there face to face.

 

"I saw that little hug." Irene chirped. 

 

Yoona closed her eyes, caught in her lie. Funny enough, someone who hated lying has been lying a lot recently. Maybe it was that instinct to be defensive because she has been shunning mostly everyone in her life. It was only recently she patched things up with Sunny, who was a former CIA agent and someone who was part of Jessica's made-up life. Yoona was mad but how can she stay mad at Sunny when Taeyeon has accepted and forgiven her. She also works at the same place with Sunny so they had to be civil in order to make their working environment healthy. Taeyeon would have hated Yoona if the latter couldn't separate their private life from work. 

 

So Yoona had to make peace with Sunny. It has been fruitful though because now she has Sunny, Taeyeon, Hyoyeon and Sooyoung to turn to. Her separation from Jessica hasn't been exactly a joyful ride. Aside from the psychological evaluation she has been receiving from Irene, her friends have been her emotional foundation as of late and Yoona is grateful for that. She might have really lost her mind if she had no one to talk to.

 

"If you saw the hug then you need not ask who between the two is my ex." Yoona answered defeatedly.

 

Irene nodded, content that Yoona didn't do a denial spree. "I was merely being polite."

 

Yoona rolled her eyes. "Come on, I'm hungry." She took Irene's hand and tried to pull her to come along but Irene's feet remained planted firmly on the ground.

 

"You still love her, don't you?" Irene prodded.

 

Yoona released her hold of Irene and stared at her pointedly. Irene didn't back down, she reciprocated Yoona's gaze with a determined one. Yoona could only sigh, defeated yet again. Maybe it's because Irene is her psychologist that Yoona knew it was futile to deny anything because Irene can tell whether she's telling the truth or not.

 

"I do." Yoona admitted, placing her hands on her hips and letting a long, dejected sigh. 

 

"And that's not enough to get back with her?"

 

"Right now my trust for her is broken. I can't tell if I don't trust her anymore or if I just can't trust her again. My heart is telling me to run to her, to hug her tight and to never let go but every fiber of my being holding onto my values and principles is telling to let go." Yoona swallowed hard, choking at the waves of emotion tearing her apart from the inside. "You don't understand."

 

Irene smiled sadly, sympathizing with the girl. "Sadly, I do. I know how it feels to love someone yet my principles were telling me otherwise."

 

Yoona nodded. "I want to be mad at her, to hate her and yet I still love her. However, because she broke my trust, the lines between love and trust just start to blur and I'm left in a limbo."

 

Irene hummed, understanding the predicament Yoona's in. "I can tell that by the way your arms were trembling earlier when she hugged you. I guess you were in a conflict with your inner self. Looking at that, one can say you hated her because you were trembling in suppressed anger. But you can't fool these eyes of mine." She proudly declared. "I'd say you were trembling because you wanted to hug her back but your inner self couldn't let you, right? So you did nothing."

 

"I'm the worst, aren't I?" Yoona exhaled out of emotional exhaustion. 

 

"I won't say the worst but it's not like I don't understand where you're coming from. Like I said, I may be your doctor but I'm also a friend and more importantly your cousin. I'm glad you made me understand your situation a little better." Irene explained. Reaching out her hand, she beamed at Yoona. "Let's go have dinner."

 

Yoona smiled back then took Irene's hand. "It's about time. I'm famished."

 

Irene chuckled. "So President Im, where will you take me for dinner? Lotte Hotel?"

 

Yoona scrunched her face. She didn’t like the title at all. “Stop calling me that.”

 

“But you are the current president.” She teased.

 

Yoona rolled her eyes. “Interim.” She corrected her cousin.

 

“Yeah, you were put there since that was the demand of a lot of people. With the way the trust rating and stocks are going up and with your commendable management, I won’t be surprised if they formally give you that position.” Irene actually thinks that this can happen. Yoona has been doing well with managing the company. The employees’ morale and efficiency has increased significantly and even the members of the board have expressed their approval of Yoona. 

 

The department heads and directors of the company like Yoona too because she has acted on the issues every department has raised before their previous president’s arrest. He didn’t listen to the grievances of his people. But Yoona did. She listened and resolved those that can and compromised for those that cannot.

 

As a result, the employees’ production efficiency has improved which translated to better revenue. Being a good leader makes a big difference. If you treat the employees right, it will translate to better work efficiency and sales. If Yoona can continue and uphold this trend, there is a big possibility that she will permanently get the position. And Irene knows her cousin will do great whatever happens.

 

They continued walking until they reached the facade of Lotte Hotel. Yoona reached for Irene’s hand and happily skipped their way inside the hotel. They have a lot to talk about. Yoona missed her cousin a lot and she’s grateful that Irene came back two weeks before the board decided to induct Yoona as interim president. One of the conditions of her appointment was to make sure she is healthy since it was going to be a strenuous job. When asked if she knows a psychologist, she suggested her cousin Irene who is also a psychiatrist. 

 

Irene took her psychology degree in a University at Toronto, Canada then pursued medicine in the same school. She is both a licensed psychologist and psychiatrist. She took her one year internship at a state hospital in Toronto after getting married to Wendy then decided to continue her three year residency in Seoul. As a psychiatrist, she is still in training and doesn’t get to deal with a lot of patients but since she is a psychologist as well, Irene receives referrals and one of them was Yoona. Besides, the hospital wouldn’t dare turn down the chance to look after the public hero. 

 

They waited by the entrance of the restaurant as the waiters inside ready their table. They continued their conversation, drifting to the topic of marriage and family now.

 

“Do you and Wendy have any plans of having a kid?” Yoona aked with deep interest.

 

Irene chuckled nervously at the question. “Why are you asking all of the sudden?”

 

Yoona laughed at her cousin’s defensiveness. “I just wanted to know! You mentioned that you and Wendy bought a big house because you wanted a large family. That is why I asked if you indeed have plans of having children.”

 

Irene rolled her eyes at the lame excuse. She crossed her arms across her chest and finally nodded affirmatively. “Yeah, of course we do.” She then naughtily glanced at Yoona. “What about you? Did you and Jessica ever talk about having kids?”

 

Yoona shook her head. “We never had a serious and deep conversation about it. I brought it up once in a while but she gave short answers. I think she wasn’t ready then. She had a busy career and I was making a career for myself as well.” Now that Yoona thought about it, maybe the reason Jessica didn’t want to have kids then was because she didn’t want them in any danger given her actual job - a secret agent. Maybe that was the reason Jessica decided to quit her job, to start a family with Yoona. Unfortunately, her lie had caught up on her and had a severe consequence. 

 

“But you can at least plan it ahead. Talking about it doesn’t necessarily mean that you’ll do it immediately.” Irene reasoned rationally. “Wendy and I, for example, decided that we will have kids after three years. I will finish my residency first while she will focus on her career as a songwriter. In a span of three years we will be able to save up money as well and that is very important. Do you know how expensive it is to have a kid? Children even!”

 

“You plan to have more kids?” Yoona looked surprised.

 

Irene nodded. “Unnie, I love kids. Wendy and I decided that we would have four children and we will carry two each.”

 

Yoona hummed in understanding. That sounded like a well thought out plan. “That sounds fantastic, Irene. I can’t wait to be an aunt.”

 

"I should say the same to you, unnie.” Irene fired back. “It’s never too late. If you patch things up with your girl-”

 

“She’s no longer my girl.” Yoona corrected her and Irene could tell there was a hint of bitterness behind her tone.

 

“Nonetheless,” Irene interjected. “It’s still worth a shot.” She cocked her head to the side and eyed Yoona suspiciously. “I don’t get you. I mean, I’m already a psychologist and psychiatrist, and yet I cannot understand your behavior.” Yoona gazed at her cluelessly. “Why are you choosing to be unhappy?”

 

Yoona looked taken aback by the question. “I- I don’t understand.”

 

“Do you?” Irene raised an eyebrow. Her keen eyes saw the way Yoona stiffened her shoulders. She also involuntarily closed her fists and swallowed rather big. “I mean, you still love her. Simple as that. Has it crossed your mind to forgive what she has done and start again?

 

Yoona stared at her cousin with a little irritation. “We talked about this earlier. You agreed you understand my perspective. I- I don’t know how to forgive, Irene. Not yet.” She glanced around to check if anyone was listening to them and once secured faced Irene with a forlorn expression. “I am stuck. I have a lot of baggage to deal with. I have this…” She put her index finger against her temple. “And this…” She brought the finger to her chest. “My heart and mind are not well. Shouldn’t I focus on getting better?”

 

“You should focus on getting better.” Irene agreed wholeheartedly. “But did it ever cross your mind that what if forgiving Jessica can help alleviate the heaviness and aching in your heart?” Yoona paused because she subconsciously considered Irene’s idea. It had a point. “What I meant when I said to forgive her and start again wasn’t rekindling your relationship. If it happens along the way, then good for you. I’ll be very happy for you. But what I meant was you finding closure. Maybe if you forgive her, you will be able to start again, to move forward.”

 

Yona stood there unmoving. Jessica was a heavy baggage from the past that Yoona kept on carrying forward. Maybe that is the reason her heart felt heavy and constricted. Despite breaking up with Jessica, there remained to be something that tied Yoona down still related to her ex-wife.

 

Yoona glared at her cousin who smiled smugly since she knew she successfully gave Yoona a valid point. Pissed, Yoona reached for Irene’s cheek and pinched it hard, eliciting a yelp.

 

“Ouch!” Irene rubbed the spot repeatedly as her eyes watered a little. Yoona merely stuck a tongue out. If only Yoona wasn’t older than her Irene would have hit the back of her head. She mouthed silent curses instead, much to Yoona’s satisfaction. 

 

A waiter appeared from inside the restaurant and stood in front of them, completely clueless of the childish skirmish earlier between the two. “Your table is ready, Ma’am. Please follow me.”

 

Yoona grabbed her cousin’s hand and pulled her along to follow the waiter. She could feel the hand try to reach for her waist probably wanting to tickle her or pinch her too in retaliation. She firmly kept her grasp though much to Irene’s defeat.

 

They moved around the tables on their way to their own. The restaurant is packed and most of the people are already enjoying their meals.

 

“Yoona?”

 

They paused when they heard a voice call Yoona who looked in the direction of where she heard the voice. Yoona’s eyes widened in shock upon seeing her friends at the table on their left which they would have passed on their way to their own.

 

“Guys.” Yoona trailed off, surprised. She was left more shocked when she spotted Jessica with Tiffany, Yuri and Seohyun. “W-What are you doing here?”

 

“I should ask you that.” Sunny pouted at her seat. “You said you couldn’t attend my birthday dinner.”

 

“I did say that.” Yoona admitted guiltily. “We were supposed to eat at the Copper Plate but there was a problem with the venue.” She could spot the CIA agents flinch at their seats upon hearing that. She then noticed her friends staring at her cousin. 

 

Getting the cue, she put a hand behind Irene and lightly pushed her forward to introduce to her friends. Gazes fell at the hand settled behind the lower back of the stranger, feeling that the gesture was way too intimate.

 

“This is Irene, my c-”

 

“Date.” Irene finished, glancing over at Jessica who looked away and gulped her glass of water nervously.

 

Yoona turned her head and looked at Irene incredulously. What the is her cousin playing at? 

 

Irene chuckled at the surprised faces in front of her. “I am also her psychologist and psychiatrist.”

 

Yoona shrugged what happened and looked at Sunny apologetically. “I’m sorry I bailed at your invitation. It’s just… I finished my therapy session and invited Irene for a meal to thank her for all her help.” She then introduced her friends one by one including Jessica who forced a smile.

 

Sunny nodded in understanding. She looked past the two and noticed the waiter standing idly, waiting for his customers. She brought her gaze back to Yoona. “Why don’t you guys join us instead? Let’s all celebrate my birthday and your finished therapy.”

 

Yoona felt uncertain and hesitant in accepting the offer. Can she stand being at the same table as Jessica? As if fate was pulling her leg, there were two empty seats at the right side of the table. 

 

Great, just great.

 

“I think that’s a good idea.” Irene answered on Yoona's behalf, sensing that her cousin was about to reject the offer. 

 

“Great!” Sunny clapped her hands excitedly. 

 

The waiter assisted the two women in settling down at the empty seats. He took additional orders from Taeyeon and left the table filled with awkwardness.

 

“Are you sure we can join you guys?” Yoona asked with uncertainty. “There are two empty seats so I thought maybe you were waiting for somebody else.”

 

“Oh.” Taeyeon cooed. “Seohyun was supposed to bring a plus one but unfortunately he couldn’t make it due to an emergency. The other seat was supposed to be yours. I reserved a table before you said you couldn’t make it.”

Yoona sheepishly rubbed the back of her neck. To assure that Irene will feel welcomed, Yoona offered to sit at the last chair on the right side of the table. That way Irene will be seated closer to her friends and extend her warm greetings. She didn’t expect however that she would be seated across Jessica. Beside her is Tiffany, then Yuri, Sunny and Taeyeon. Seated beside Irene is Seohyun, Hyoyeon and Sooyoung.

 

Yoona inwardly rolled her eyes when she realized that her friends have designed a rather interesting seat assignment. If Seohyun’s plus one was supposed to sit beside her, then the chair she’s sitting at is indeed her chair if she would have accepted Sunny’s invitation. She was bound to sit opposite Jessica either way and it somewhat pissed her off. Her friends have been trying to set her and Jessica again. She sighed, feeling tired all of the sudden.

 

“Are you feeling tired?” Irene elbowed her arm gently as she softly asked her. 

 

Yoona looked at her and shook her head. She leaned forward and looked at Sunny. “Happy birthday, Sunny.” She flashed a warm smile.

 

“Thank you, Yoong.” Sunny gave her a wink and wrinkled her nose. “Happy…. Therapy completion, I guess.” She raised a wine glass at Yoona.

 

Yoona brought her wine glass up as well and did a virtual toast with Sunny. As she gulped it down in one shot, she felt Jessica’s gaze on her. Once she put the glass down, her eyes met Jessica’s who quickly looked away.

 

A keen observer that she is, Irene saw the small exchange. However, before she could tease Yoona about it, Sooyoung’s question distracted her.

 

“Irene-ssi, if you don’t mind me asking, how old are you?” She asked brazenly. “You look young for a doctor.”

 

Irene chuckled and turned her body to face her. “I’m currently twenty six years old. I’m only two years younger than Yoona unnie.”

 

“Oh.” Sooyoung glanced at Taeyeon and Sunny, inwardly cursing when their inside joke ended up being true. They made up a lie to Jessica to incite her jealousy and give her the courage to finally talk to Yoona. They didn’t expect that joke would come true, that Yoona will ask her doctor for a date.

 

Irene scanned the faces of the people in front of her. “We saw each other earlier at the Tangerine, right?” She told Tiffany.

 

“Y-Yeah. We had some business to attend to.” Tiffany reasoned nervously.

 

“Do you work there? I saw you wearing Tangerine’s uniform.” Irene added.

 

Yoona stared at her ever sharp cousin. Whenever Irene meets someone, her eyes would scan them from head to toe. When she gets to talk to them she studies their behaviour and manner of speech as well which is why after a conversation she could form a deep impression with that person. She tends to remember details, like vocal tone, mannerisms, expressions, outfit and face.

 

“It was my last day.” Tiffany explained, trying so hard to dodge the probing question. “Jessica came to pick me up.”

 

Yoona could tell her cousin was about to say something, probably going to bring up that hug between Yoona and Jessica, so she quickly reached for Irene’s hand and squeezed it in hopes of shutting her up. 

 

Jessica’s heart ached upon seeing the two people in front of her hold hands under the table. They looked like they were in a secret relationship. Despite hearing her heart breaking, Jessica willed herself to look into Yoona’s face. The girl wore a stoic face, making sure not to betray her emotions.

 

Their orders finally arrived. They watched excitedly as the plates and bowls were placed on the table one at a time. There were roasted chicken, lamb ribs, steak, pasta, veggies and salad. Once all the dishes were served, they held their wine glasses and raised it together for a group toast. Yoona bumped glasses with Seohyun, Irene, Yuri, Tiffany and Jessica. She flashed Jessica a soft smile before taking a sip of her drink.

 

“Irene-ssi.” Sunny called. “Please don’t be shy and eat a lot.” She flashed her a tender smile before digging in herself. 

 

“Do you want the lamb ribs?” Yoona turned to Irene and asked. 

 

Irene nodded and watched Yoona pick the lamb between her spoon and fork. She put it nicely on Irene’s plate. “Thanks.” 

 

The initial awkward air was replaced when Sooyoung started sharing funny stories which Taeyeon further fueled with ridiculous and dirty jokes. Sunny pinched Taeyeon’s side when she nearly made a poop joke when they were all eating. After Taeyeon’s pain yelped, the table bursted into a fit of laughter.

 

Irene took a mouthful of water and as she put it down noticed Yoona’s plate. “Why didn't you eat the carrots and cucumber?”

 

Yoona shrugged. “I am allergic to carrots and I don’t eat cucumbers now.” Her eyes subconsciously met Jessica’s who also have carrots and cucumbers set aside on her plate.

 

“You didn’t eat yours as well, Jessica-ssi.” Irene pointed to the obvious.

 

Jessica nearly choked on her water and Yoona instinctively handed her table napkin. She quickly pulled it away when Jessica waved her own napkin but nodded her head in appreciation. “I am allergic to cucumbers and I don’t like carrots.”

 

Irene nodded her head, pretending to be clueless. Married couples tend to look like the other. Even their tastes would slowly be similar as well as their dislikes. Yoona’s allergy to carrots and Jessica to cucumber would mean that they wouldn’t order it in restaurants or serve it at home. So in the long run, they started to not miss it in their meals and eventually life.

 

“Can I have yours then?” Irene looked at Yoona, gaze full of mischief.

 

Yoona merely rolled her eyes but nonetheless transferred the vegetables on Irene’s plate. As if on cue, her phone rang. She took her phone from her bag and excused herself to answer it outside.

 

Once Yoona was out of earshot, Taeyeon dabbed the corner of her lips clean and turned to Irene curiously. “Are you really on a date with Yoona?”

 

Irene inwardly chuckled. Yoona’s friends can’t help but be curious and probe into their relationship. She could just end the ruse and admit that she is Yoona’s cousin but she is not yet finished with her little experiments involving two broken love birds. 

 

“Yes, I guess I want it to be.” She pretended to be embarrassed, tucking strands of hair behind her ear. “I’m not gonna lie. I like her, a lot.” She leaned against her seat and exhaled dramatically. “But of course, I know of her ex-wife. There’s also the kidnapping incident. I don’t want to force myself into her but I am just glad to be spending time with her.”

 

Jessica listened with a heavy heart. She was grateful, however, that Irene didn’t try to force herself into Yoona who is still unready. Yoona is still hurting and, despite Jessica wanting to resume what they had, deserve to be happy. And if Irene is going to be that person who will make Yoona happy, then Jessica will have to accept that no matter how painful it may be.

 

“Yoona mentioned her ex-wife?” Ever so insensitive and inquisitive, Sooyoung asked again and received an elbow on the stomach courtesy of her wife Hyoyeon. “Argh!”

 

Irene discreetly observed the faces around her and from the corner of her eyes noticed the way Jessica shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Yeah, she told me a lot of things. She hasn’t told me the name of her ex-wife though.” She pretended then shrugged. “Have you met her? How would you describe their relationship?”

 

Jessica could feel eyes on her as her gaze remained fixed on Irene. She wondered just how much Yoona told her regarding their relationship.  She gnawed her lower lip as she felt a wave of nostalgia flood her memories. “They were perfect together.”

“That’s unfortunate.” Irene sighed heavily, continuing her little experiment. “Yoona seemed to really love her. She was really broken about their separation. To top it off, she also has to deal with the psychological trauma that came with her kidnapping incident.”

 

“You seem to be really worried about her.” Jessica noted bitterly.

 

“I am. Like what I said earlier, I like her a lot.” Irene then leaned forward and looked around the faces of Yoona’s friends. “I know you guys are worried about her as well. Please look after her. Yoona can be triggered by some things and may experience-”

 

“Panic attack?” Sunny finished. 

 

Irene lifted an inquisitive eyebrow, slightly shocked. Perhaps the girl saw Yoona have an episode in the office. “You knew?”

 

“I saw her leave three weeks ago during a program. She left after the fireworks display started.” Sunny recalled and the look of shock on the faces of her friends indicated that they were clueless. Jessica especially looked very worried. “I guess she remembered the gunshots that night.”

 

Irene sighed dejectedly. She checked again if Yoona was around before facing Sunny. “She did remember so she went back to her car. She told me she almost didn’t make it inside because she felt really short of breath and almost passed out. She calmed herself inside the car.”

 

Sunny guiltily gnawed on her lower lip. “I knew something was wrong so I followed her. Then I saw her in the car. She was grabbing and punching the steering wheel in frustration. I think she was crying too.” She clutched her shirt as she recalled the memory. “She hit her chest and then screamed. Then she kept on gasping for air. I guess she was really angry and frustrated about everything.”

 

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Her wife Taeyeon asked. She should have been there for her best friend. 

 

“Because what happened that night was probably something she didn’t want any of us to see.” Sunny reasoned. “She left because she probably didn’t want to be seen in that fragile state.” She nearly choked as she recalled Yoona’s tears and her heartbreaking actions that night. “ She was so broken. I wouldn’t even find the words of comfort I could have offered her that night.”

 

She couldn’t comfort her friend that night so Sunny merely stood a few feet away from Yoona’s car and silently watched her friend compose herself. Only when Yoona stopped crying and drove away did Sunny finally return to the program.

 

Jessica’s heart shattered as she listened to Sunny’s story. Her heart ached for Yoona so badly. Yoona, the woman she loves, is suffering greatly because she got involved in Jessica’s messed up life. Her hands under the table balled into fists as she is reminded of how undeserving she is of Yoona. 

 

Irene smiled warmly at Sunny. “Don’t blame yourself. You’re right. No matter what words we offer her, Yoona wouldn’t be comforted that easily. She needs time to heal both her heart and mind.” She then dragged her warm gaze across and around the table then flashed a bright beam. “She’s going to need all the help she can get. And by the looks of it, Yoona has very dependable friends.”

 

Taeyeon nodded. “We will do our best to look after her.”

 

“And I believe that.” She grinned. She scanned her eyes around the table. “If you don’t mind me asking, are you all married?”

 

“Only Seohyun, Yoona and Jessica are single. The rest of us are married.” Sunny answered in a kind tone despite feeling that the air has turned awkward.

 

After a few minutes, Yoona has finally returned. She put her phone beside her plate and leaned her back against her seat. She then crossed her leg over the other as she reached for her water goblet and emptied it. Her phone flashed brightly upon receiving a message. She quickly grabbed it and checked her inbox.

 

Taeyeon watched her friend type away on her phone, noticing the frown Yoona wore. “Are you okay, Yoona?”

 

Yoona put her phone down again and looked at Taeyeon with uncertainty. “I don’t know exactly what to feel.” She replied honestly. She was caught in a whirlwind of emotions and she had no idea what she was feeling exactly.

 

“What happened?” Sunny asked, alarmed. 

 

Yoona heaved a deep sigh and wet her dry lips. What she was about to say felt bizarre and unreal. “Director Shin called.” She began.

 

“Like Director Shin of the Board?” Taeyeon asked for confirmation. 

 

Yoona nodded. “He brought up something.”

 

“What did he say?” Sunny leaned closer to the table to better hear Yoona. She felt tensed all of the sudden. Why did Director Shin called? He was notoriously known as headstrong, cold and difficult to please. “Don’t tell me they are demoting you back as Director.”

 

Yoona shook her head, eyes glossed in a daze. Her mind was still processing what happened. “He called to tell me that during next month’s Board Meeting, if the trust rating and stocks remain on the rise, he would suggest that I be permanently appointed as president.”

 

Their faces shifted from concern to glee. Sooyoung quickly got off her chair and went behind her for a tight hug. Taeyeon followed soon after and tried to trap them the best her short arms could. 

 

"Congrats, Yoong!" 

 

"Congrats, Yoona!" 

 

They both said in unison. Yoona chuckled at the contact, temporary forgetting the unexpected offer. Her gaze fell on Jessica who merely flashed her a smile, genuinely happy for her. 

 

Yoona tapped the arms of her friends, silently telling them to cut it out. They soon returned to their seats, still donning that huge grin. 

 

"I'm happy for you, Yoona. I really am." Sunny said but she sounded cautious. "But Director Shin told you that? He never really initiated anything to the board. I'm surprised your appointment is going to be his first proposal in a long while." 

 

Director Shin is quite calculative with his moves but he makes proper choices as a businessman. He mostly moves behind the scenes and just participates in board meetings as required in his position. He doesn't entertain any political advances within the board. He's neutral and doesn't care about power struggles. He does, however, pay special interest in topics that deal with the improvement of the company and better working conditions for the staff. 

 

Maybe that is why he found himself supporting Yoona. The girl did nothing out of the ordinary but the improvements she sought and fought for were probably something he greatly appreciated. Finally, he met someone who shares his same vision. No wonder he brought her permanent appointment into light. With the former CEO and President's dismissal, Mr. Shin has become the current biggest stock holder in the company. He probably would be appointed as the Chairman of the Board during next month's meeting as well. 

 

"I don't know." Yoona trailed her words as a wave of uncertainty flooded her. "I don't think I deserve this." 

 

"What are you saying?" Taeyeon obviously disagrees with her. "You transformed a company that was almost brought down to the ground by president Jang and vice president Ji and brought it back to life. We were so close in laying people off." 

 

Sunny nodded her head, agreeing with her wife. "Your position might have been temporary and just for show to the public but it was the best decision at that moment. I thought it was ridiculous. They used the public's respect and admiration for you to help restore the image of the company. It worked and eventually you were also effective in your current position no matter if it's temporary or permanent."

 

Yoona smiled at her friends, feeling warm inside at the compliments. But nonetheless she still had her reservations." I feel like I don't deserve it." She finally said and the table fell silent at her declaration." I don't understand why I am being praised for what I've done. Telling the truth," Her gaze slowly shifted to Jessica who felt a pang of guilt in her chest. "was the only option for me. Even though it was hard, even though I feared for my life and my family's, I chose to do it."

 

When she said family, Jessica was part of it. Unfortunately, that fear was unwarranted because Jessica had the means to protect herself. Yoona was worried without a reason and made a fool of herself. 

 

"Because telling the truth, no matter how hard, was the right thing to do." Yoona continued. "I don't know why they are glorifying me for doing something a normal human being should be doing in the first place." 

 

"Because we're human." Irene answered flatly. She could feel Yoona direct her gaze on her. "And humans make mistakes. Humans make difficult and different choices. If another person found out about that story instead of you, maybe they would have turned a blind eye instead of revealing it to the public. You just happened to be honest, good and brave."

 

"I'm not brave." Yoona refused to think of herself as brave. She isn't. Irene was right. She probably was good and honest but that's just it.

 

"You said you feared for yourself and your family." Irene sharply recalled. "Despite that fear, you still chose to release your report even if it meant potential danger. Not a lot of people can do that. Not everyone can be good. Not everyone can be brave. And not everyone can be honest."

 

Jessica lowered her head down. Irene may be saying that to Yoona to cheer her up but the words speak to her as well. Irene was right. Not everyone can be honest. Jessica couldn't, that's why she got Yoona in this mess in the first place. 

 

"So what are you going to do? Are you going to refuse the offer?" Taeyeon asked, half-expectant. 

 

Yoona shrugged. "I don't know. But I'm not closing my doors." 

 

Sunny clapped in glee. "That's the spirit!" 

 

Sooyoung raised her wine glass with an excited grin. "Once you get fully appointed I request for an increase." She put her arm over Hyoyeon's shoulders. "My baby is coming soon. We have an additional mouth to feed. And do you have any idea how expensive the education here in Korea is worth?" 

 

Yoona chuckled. She grabbed her half empty wine glass and virtually exchanged toasts with Sooyoung. "I'll think about it." 

 

The table erupted in a fit of laughter when Sooyoung groaned at her response. Soon the desserts were served and they happily consumed the macaroons, sundaes, puddings and fruits.

 

It didn't escape Irene's eyes when Yoona instinctively grabbed a piece of macaroon and put it on Jessica's plate. It was probably what she often did for Jessica so it just happened out of habit. Irene took a spoonful of her pudding and ate it with a smile playing at the corner of her lips. Her cousin is too easy to read. Her feelings for Jessica haven't wavered a bit. 

 

"Where should we go next?" Sunny asked the group. 

 

"Karaoke sounds fun." Tiffany suggested with Yuri nodding her head enthusiastically. 

 

"There is a karaoke place near the hotel. We can just walk on our way there." Hyoyeon hummed in delight as she finished her last bite of macaroon.

 

They sat in silence as they digest their rather heavy and tasty dinner. They finished the main courses and the desserts. They are big eaters after all. 

 

"I can't come with you." Yoona said much to the disappointment of many. "I'm going home tomorrow until the weekend so I'll need a good night sleep since the drive would be long." 

 

"Why are you going home?" Yuri couldn't help but be curious. 

 

"It's my mother's birthday." Yoona replied. "I asked my brother to go there earlier and he did. He just arrived today. We plan to celebrate together as a family."

 

Sunny pouted in disappointment but nonetheless understood because family comes first. "Okay, I understand. Drive safe." 

 

"I will." She looked at her watch. It was almost 10PM. "I have to go now."

 

"Already? Just a few more minutes." Taeyeon offered. 

 

Yoona shook her head and laughed at Taeyeon's annoyed puff. "I can't. I have yet to pack."

 

Yoona was about to stand up but then suddenly a waiter carrying a tray full of glasswares tried to avoid a kid running on the floor which caused him to lose balance and crash on the ground. The glasswares broke in a loud unison. The kid's parents quickly came to apologize to the waiter and to the manager and promised to pay for all the damages. 

 

Yoona's knees gave away causing her to plop back her chair. She could feel the air around her become thin and made it difficult for her to breath. Her heart started galloping at an irregular rate and her vision blurred slightly. She gripped the arms of her chair as she opened and took big gasps of air. 

 

"Yoona? Are you okay?" Irene was quick to detect her discomfort. "You're having a panic attack, are you? Were the broken glasswares a trigger?" 

 

Yoona didn't answer and instead continued gasping for air. No matter how hard she inhaled, she felt like her lungs were never filled. 

 

"Breathe through your nose." Irene instructed and Yoona listened. She closed and took deep breaths through her nostrils. Irene quickly grabbed Yoona's purse in search of her medicine. She popped a capsule of paroxetine on her palm and handed it to Yoona followed by a glass of water. 

 

Yoona released her grasps on the arms of her chair and took the medicine in one hand while the other held the water goblet. She popped the medicine in and gulped down the entire glass. Her body trembled as that same feeling of being inside a wormhole filled her senses. It felt exactly like that time she was falling and drowning in Han river. Air was being out of her and no matter how much she tried to move, her body just won't listen. 

 

Aware that what she feared her friends will witness just happened, Yoona leaned against the chair and threw her head back to stare at the white ceiling. Why did she have to have a panic attack in a supposedly happy gathering? With her friends around including Jessica? 

 

She badly wanted to slap herself but she couldn't even move her arm. Her limbs felt wanton so she didn't dare to move. Hearing the glasses breaking reminded her of that night when she was kicked forcefully, crashed against the glass window and fell into the river. 

 

She closed her eyes instead as she remained inhaling through her nose and exhaling through . 

 

Jessica stood from her seat, eyes fixed at Yoona who was having a hard time breathing and composing herself. She badly wanted to hug Yoona, whisper sweet nothings into her ears, rub her back and arms then assure her that she's here, that everything is going to be okay. 

 

"It will take some time before she calms down. I don't think she will be able to drive for another hour." Irene whispered, loud enough for the group to hear. She looked at her watch and observed Yoona's breathing. She then put two fingers, index and middle, on Yoona’s carotid to check her pulse. She couldn’t feel it properly since Yoona was constantly swallowing and will gasp for air through a few times.

 

So Irene slid her fingers down Yoona’s arm instead until she reached her wrist. She pressed the said fingers against her pulse and counted along with her watch. “Her heart rate is a little fast. I wouldn’t advise her to be alone tonight.” She faced Yoona’s friends. “Can someone take her home instead? I would love to do that but I have to go back to the hospital. First year residents don’t have a lot of free time.”

 

Jessica finally left her spot. She didn’t care now whether Irene could read her behavior. She would probably realize one way or another that they were formerly in a relationship. For now, what mattered is that she can stay beside Yoona and make sure she won’t be alone at least for tonight. “I’ll take her home.”

 

Nobody dared to argue with Jessica. They saw the look of concern she has for Yoona. They didn’t want to take this opportunity away from her. The girl probably thinks she brought this upon Yoona and holds herself accountable. 

 

Sunny paid the bill as the rest of them went outside the hotel. Jessica struggled as she kept Yoona steadied. Jessica had put Yoona’s arm around her shoulder so she could assist her better while Irene got the other arm. Yoona kept on saying that she was fine, that she can walk on her own, but her wobbling knees and her shortness of breath were still very evident. She couldn’t even open her eyes properly because the blurry vision has gotten worse.

 

As she continued inhaling and calming herself, she took a whiff of Jessica’s scent. It was the same scent that often filled her senses especially whenever they made love. Now, it’s the scent missing beside her every time she woke up in her apartment and it made her feel all the more lonely.

 

Yoona said she parked her car at the Tangerine’s basement so Taeyeon borrowed her keys to get it for her while the rest of the girls accompanied Yoona. Sooyoung took over Irene’s spot as the doctor stood in front of Yoona. It was at this time that Sunny joined the group after settling the bill.

 

“Unnie.” She called. Yoona opened her eyes and despite the blurry image saw the beautiful face of her cousin. “Did you buy the medicines I prescribed yesterday? You’ll be on a trip tomorrow so you need to make sure that you have them with you all the time. Also, if the attack hasn’t subsided, I suggest doing something that will distract you. Maybe a bit of your work or any form of exercise. A snack works too.”

 

She then faced Jessica. “Jessica unnie, if she doesn’t calm down eventually I suggest putting her to sleep. She has sleeping pills for her insomnia. A single pill is enough dosage.” She then cupped Yoona’s face. “Can you see me? Is your vision still hazy?”

 

“A bit.” Yoona replied. “I’m having difficulty breathing still. It’s like… I’m drowning and I’m struggling to keep my head above the water.”

 

Irene pulled away with a frown. She crossed her arms on her chest and gazed at Yoona warily. “If the episode doesn’t stop, I’m going to have you stay in the emergency room for the night.”

 

“I’m going to be fine.” Yoona assured her. “Jessica’s with me.”

 

Irene nodded. She knew she could leave Yoona in Jessica’s hands. The girl’s concerned gaze hasn’t left Yoona the entire time since her panic attack happened. “Okay.” She stared at her watch again. “I have to go back to the hospital, unnie. Call me if you need anything.”

 

Yoona nodded. She slowly retreated her arms and steeled her wobbling legs so she could give Irene a hug. “Thank you.” She whispered.

 

Irene returned the hug, gaze cautiously shifting to Jessica who was too anxious to be jealous. She tenderly rubbed Yoona’s back. “You’re welcome, unnie.”

 

The young doctor quickly flagged a cab that would take her back to the hospital. Jessica watched as Yoona stepped near a wall so she could steady her body. She clutched Yoona’s purse tightly as her heart continued to ache.

 

“How are you feeling now?” Jessica replied.

 

Yoona reached for Jessica’s hand. “Better now.” She rubbed her thumb across the back of her hand. “Thank you for doing this.”

 

"Don’t thank me.” Jessica refuted. “This is my fault. You’re going through this because of me. This is the least that I could do.”

 

Yoona didn’t bother replying because that was exactly true. However, she didn’t want to rub it in Jessica’s face so she chose to keep her silence. They just stood there in silence until Taeyeon arrived with Yoona’s car. Since she is the only one in the group who had been in Yoona’s new place, she took the liberty of inputting the address in the GPS. 

 

Yoona held Jessica’s hand as the girl assisted in getting her in the passenger’s seat. Once she was seated, Jessica closed the door. She then faced Taeyeon.

 

“Her unit is at 1709. The password is her birthday.” Taeyeon looked behind Jessica to check Yoona who had lowered the car seat and covered her eyes with an arm. “We leave her to you, Jessica. I know you’ll take care of her just like you always did.”

 

Jessica nodded. She opened her palm and got the key from Taeyeon. She turned to her friends and waved them goodbye. With a solemn smile flashed at them, she hurriedly boarded the car to get Yoona home.

 

****

 

Jessica sat at the edge of Yoona’s bed as she watched the girl sleep. Yoona was quiet the entire drive and when they arrived at her place, she had almost fallen asleep. Jessica woke her up slightly and they both went up to Yoona's place.

 

Yoona headed straight to her bed after entering her room. Jessica checked her pulse as she laid down. She attended a lot of first aid training so she knew how to check pulses. It became less erratic, perhaps even back to normal. She asked Yoona if she was still having a hard time breathing but the girl said that she felt a lot better.

 

“I’ll stay for a while.” Jessica said. She didn’t bother asking Yoona for permission because even if Yoona asked her to leave, she wouldn’t. She wouldn’t be able to sleep soundly without making sure that Yoona is indeed better.

 

To her surprise, Yoona didn’t bother saying anything and just continued her rest until she fell asleep. Once she heard Yoona’s soft snores, Jessica dragged her gaze around Yoona’s room. The apartment is definitely a lot smaller than their house. It was a studio unit that didn't have any room. Right after entering the front door, the kitchen is located at the left side then there was a counter acting as a divider next to the living room. The counter served as the dining table as well. 

 

On the right of the room is the bathroom then the closet and a small work desk where Yoona’s laptop, phones, tablets and work paraphernalia are placed. The bed was at the far right end of the room pushed against the corner. The room is perfect for a single person.

 

Jessica sighed dejectedly. Yoona is single. And she’s probably about to date someone soon. Jessica’s thought drifted back to Irene. The young doctor was definitely a beauty and since she was able to listen to Yoona’s darkest and deepest secrets, they were able to share a connection that Jessica couldn’t deny. Yoona opened up to Irene and the doctor will be a part of every step of Yoona’s recovery. At the end, maybe Yoona will take that connection as a sign and ask Irene out officially as her girlfriend.

 

Jessica put her palm against Yoona’s chest, feeling the soft heaves and heartbeats. She let her gaze trace Yoona’s features - those long eyelashes, those thin eyebrows, her wide forehead Jessica loves to kiss, that beauty mark under her right eye, her cute nose, her sharp jaw and her red, thin lips that always roamed around Jessica’s body.

 

She exhaled heavily as she was hit with the hard truth that she and Yoona are indeed over. Her heart couldn’t stop caring, loving and longing for Yoona though and it made moving on all the more difficult for Jessica. At the back of her head, that masochistic side that remains hopeful, just couldn’t let go because the years she spent with Yoona were the happiest time of her life, the time she felt the most complete.

 

Jessica was startled when Yoona started writhing, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. Her face was frowning, eyes tightly shut. 

 

“No….” Yoona whispered. She kept on moving her head, the writhing continued. “Let me go… Please…” She flailed her arms and legs. “Please, don’t involve Jessica… ”

 

Jessica broke at the sight. She cupped Yoona’s face as the other hand shook her awake. “Yoona! Wake up!”

 

Yoona bolted awake, springing up and face right in front of Jessica’s. She looked into Jessica’s eyes, seeing it full of worry, guilt and longing.

 

“Did you have a nightmare?” Jessica asked, cupping her face tenderly.

 

Yoona closed her eyes and savored the contact. She nodded slightly. “Y-Yeah… They were beating me up, asking for my data and forcing me to say where you were…”

 

Jessica heaved a deep sigh as her eyes started to water. She rubbed her thumbs across Yoona’s cheeks, relishing the warmth Yoona exuded. “I’m here.”

 

Yoona opened her eyes and locked gazes with Jessica. “You…” She tenderly cupped Jessica’s face. “You confuse me… Do you know how difficult it is to love someone you are supposed to hate?”

 

“I’m sorry.” Jessica breathed out. Yoona felt her thumb get wet as Jessica shed a tear. “That’s really all I can say, Yoona. I won’t blame you if you hate me because I was wrong. I deserve this, I deserve to suffer. But I can’t stand you hurting like this, broken because of me. You deserve the world but I gave you hell instead. I’m sorry, I really am.”

 

Yoona could hear the warning bells in her head. That side telling her that Jessica is a lying who made her this broken and miserable compelled her to move away and escape the danger in front of her. However, that side that loves and longs for Jessica told her to close the gap between them and claim those quivering lips.

 

Yoona leaned forward and captured Jessica’s lips, starting at the corner before pressing her lips fully. Almost automatically, Jessica returned her kiss with fervor. She missed Yoona’s lips, her scent, and her presence. She could feel Yoona’s free hand snake around her waist, pulling her closer and deepening their kiss.

 

Emboldened and filled with pent up emotions, Yoona pulled Jessica down. Jessica laid on her back with Yoona hovering on top of her. Jessica clutched Yoona’s blazer tightly as her lips devoured Yoona’s, showing the girl just how much she missed her. She shivered as Yoona’s hands slipped inside her shirt, burning her skin with her every touch. Those hands descended on Jessica’s jeans, fumbling with the button and zipper then pulled it down to her knees. Jessica flailed her legs repeatedly until she managed to kick it off her. She heard it fall on the floor but she was too busy locking lips with Yoona to care. Thank goodness she changed her outfit after their mission earlier.

 

Jessica tugged the blazer she was clutching and tried to take it off Yoona. Getting the hint, Yoona helped her remove it but kept her lips against Jessica’s, pushing her tongue inside the awaiting muscle. Jessica moaned as Yoona’s tongue swirled around then found her tongue again for another dance. Their teeth grated slightly but it hardly mattered as Yoona and consumed her lips.

 

Yoona temporarily found her sanity and pulled slightly to get some air. “No- I can’t do this. I don’t want to hurt you.” 

 

Jessica shook her head. “Irene said you need a distraction, right? Don’t think too much about this. It’s just . I don’t expect our relationship to get better or anything.” She cupped Yoona’s face. “Like I said, I brought this upon you. Let me do this. It’s the least that I can do.”

Yes, Jessica is a masochist indeed. Masochist and selfish. She wanted Yoona badly but she couldn’t tell that to her because she had no right after everything that she did, after the pain and trauma she inflicted Yoona.

 

“It’s just .” Jessica repeated. “I love you, Yoona. That will never change. I guess this is me being selfish as well.” She pecked Yoona’s lips. “I love you and I’m sorry.”

 

“I hate you.” Yoona responded. “But I want you so bad.”

 

“Then take me, tonight at least.” Jessica added.

 

Ignoring the warning bells yet again, Yoona dived down for Jessica’s lips and nipped them roughly. She heard Jessica moan in pleasure which aroused her even more. They shed the remainder of their clothes and spent the night making love with one another.

 

Jessica laid peacefully beside Yoona, their bodies and moist from the burning . Apparently, worked as a distraction because after three rounds Yoona was already exhausted and fell asleep. Jessica laid her head on top of Yoona’s bare chest and listened to her heart beat.

She wondered, however, is this heart still beating for Jessica? Is there any chance they get back together? 

 

The way Yoona made love to her, touched her, kissed her was full of love and adoration. Yoona loves her still, there is no doubt about it. Which is why it pained Jessica as she thought about what she said earlier.

 

It’s just . I don’t expect our relationship to get better or anything.

 

But Jessica wants it to change. She wants Yoona back in her life. Desperately.

 

****

 

Yoona carried two paper bags in her hands as she slowly moved towards her parents’ house. She parked her car on the driveway and when she got out, looked around the familiar neighborhood and smiled.

 

Before she could press the doorbell, the front door opened and her mother welcomed her with open arms. “Oh, my baby!” She was suddenly wrapped in a tight hug and Yoona couldn’t help but smile. Her mother pulled away after a while. “You came alone? Where is Jessica?”

 

Yoona forced a smile. “She got caught up with something at work.” She raised the red paper bag. “She did tell me to give you her gift.”

 

“Oh, Jessica. She is such a wonderful girl.” The Im matriarch accepted the bag. “Did you know she visited us here regularly for the past few months? She said she had a client around the area and decided to drop by.”

 

“She visited regularly? Did it happen after I got discharged from the hospital?”

 

Her mother nodded. That would mean that was around the time they separated. “She always brought us fruits, vitamins and ginseng. Then I would give her side dishes. Did you enjoy them?”

 

Yoona pondered for a while. Side dishes? Taeyeon and Sunny would sometimes give her side dishes. Jessica probably asked them to give it to Yoona without disclosing that it came from her. 

 

Nonetheless, she gave her mother a nod. “I did, mom. Thank you.”

 

“You’re welcome, darling.” Her mother sighed in slight disappointment. “Too bad Jessica didn’t come. I think this is my first birthday she missed since you two got together.”

 

“It just happened that way mom.” Yoona walked across the living room and put her backpack and other paper bag on the couch. “Where is Yonghwa?”

 

“Oh, he borrowed your Ducati sports bike and visited a friend.”

 

Yoona scoffed. “He probably went to show it off to his friends. Why did you let him drive my motorcycle though? You know how terrible he is when it comes to driving.”

 

“Well, he is an adult and he should be responsible for his actions.” 

 

Yoona helped her mother prepare dinner. Yonghwa hasn't returned yet and he hasn’t answered any of her calls. Yoona stood by the kitchen counter and chopped the vegetables.

 

“Did you and Jessica fight?”

 

Yoona looked up and stared at her mother. “What do you mean mom?”

 

She put the lid on the pan and turned to her daughter. “I told you Jessica visited me lately. Whenever I asked about you, she vaguely answered. Ever since you got here all you ever did was watch TV or lay on the couch. You and Jessica always contact each other, you practically almost made out with your phone because you both kept calling and texting each other. You would also share exciting stories about her. Now, you didn’t even talk about her except when I asked where she was. You didn’t touch your phone too. What’s going on?”

 

Yoona mentally rolled her eyes since she knew if she did that for real her mother will definitely teach her a lesson. Her mother was always quick to pick things up. “It’s that obvious?” She didn’t bother hiding it.

 

She nodded. “It’s just I noticed the stark difference. You were always happy whenever you talk or think about her. You don’t stop saying you miss her as well. But now you’re just... Did you guys have a falling out with each other ever since your incident? I know it will affect you emotionally and psychologically. But you need to lean on Jessica. She’s your wife and she’s your anchor.”

 

“You’re right, mom. I’m not okay.” Yoona admitted.

 

“I know. I am worried about you.” Her mother added. “But the reason I don’t worry to death is because I know Jessica is going to take good care of you.”

 

“I just need to fix myself first.” Yoona replied. She stopped chopping and faced her mother completely. “I-I am broken, mom.”

 

Her mother enveloped her in a hug and that was all Yoona needed as she burst into tears. She could feel her mother rub her back to sooth her but she just couldn’t stop. She has been keeping this for a long time. She didn’t show it to her friends, to Jessica or Irene. But her mother managed to break the dam in just a few hours.

 

“I know you are broken. That’s why you need Jessica to fix you. She’s meant to be the glue to hold you together and you vice versa.”

 

How can Jessica be the one to fix her when she was the one who broke Yoona in the first place? Yoona held her mother tighter, tears flowing nonstop. She felt consoled by her mother but she still felt incomplete. 

 

“Jessica was so worried about you.” Her mother continued. “When you were in the hospital, she didn’t leave your side ever. I told her she can go home, take a shower and rest but she said she needed to be there when you wake up. She couldn’t even eat properly then. I would see her crying whenever she thought she was alone. When I caught her and asked why she was crying, she told me she was afraid of losing you.” She then slightly pulled away but her arms remained hugging Yoona. “I heard that before you were taken by the ambulance to the hospital, you were resuscitated. We almost lost you, darling. Jessica, almost lost you.”

She did lose me. Yoona noted mentally. 

 

“I’m sure you are in pain and broken. Why wouldn’t you be after everything that happened? But you should know that the people around you are hurting as well. Do you think it is easy watching you go through this?” She cupped her daughter’s face tenderly. “Imagine the pain Jessica is going through. She is right beside you but she can’t do anything to make you feel better. If I was in her position, I’d do anything for you.”

 

Yoona paused. She knew about that which is why it didn’t surprise her when Jessica offered herself to Yoona last night. She offered her body as a form of distraction to Yoona who willingly took it despite the painful consequences for Jessica. Was she getting back at Jessica? Keeping herself close one second but staying away the next minute. Perhaps it was her punishment for Jessica. It didn’t make Yoona feel any better though.

 

“Whatever you guys are going through, I know you’ll solve it together. You’re my girls after all.” She smiled warmly at Yoona. “Why don’t you call Yonghwa? I think I heard the bike.” She wiped Yoona’s tear streaked cheeks with her palms.

 

Yoona nodded and let her mother gently push her towards the door. She walked to the driveway and saw Yonghwa descend the bike. "I’m surprised you brought home my bike in one piece this time.”

 

Yonghwa chuckled as he took the black full face helmet. “I was careful.” He patted the bike. “I spent three months worth of salary getting this fixed and repainted so I wouldn’t dare get into another accident.”

 

Yoona hummed, content at the answer. She walked around the bike to look at it carefully. This is the first time she saw it after it got fixed. Yonghwa recklessly let a friend drive it for fun but that friend lost control of the bike after turning to a sharp corner and crashed. Yonghwa didn’t want to worry or stress Yoona since she was going through a lot three months ago so at his mother’s insistence he had it fixed himself. It was his fault after all. He shouldn’t have let his friend drive his sister’s favorite bike in the first place. Yoona has been driving it longer than she was married. Yonghwa then realizes that Jessica hasn’t been on a ride with Yoona yet. Jessica did say she was afraid of riding it so Yoona never really insisted.

 

“Ah.” Yonghwa remembered something. “Are you free this Monday? Around dinner time.”

 

Yoona shrugged. “I have no idea about my schedule yet. I filed a leave today so I am sure the work I had for today will be carried over on Monday. Why do you ask?”

 

Yonghwa grinned mischievously. “I have something important to tell you.”

 

“How important?”

 

“Very. And I need you to be on my side.”

 

Yoona eyed him suspiciously but he said nothing. He handed the helmet and the keys to her before skipping his way inside the house. Yoona spared her bike one last glance before joining her mother in preparing their dinner.

 

****

 

Yoona celebrated her mother’s birthday over the weekend and it has been the happiest she has been in a long while. Maybe because her mother comforted her tremendously by her words of wisdom, by her hugs and kisses and her pinches on Yoona’s cheeks. She didn’t bring up the incident anymore but she often alluded to Jessica and their relationship. She did throw the grandchildren comments a few times.

 

When are you and Jessica going to have a baby?

 

You guys can conceive or you guys can adopt. I don’t mind you guys doing both because the more, the merrier.

 

We’re going old, Yoona. We should be getting grandkids soon.

 

Do you guys want a boy or a girl? How many? I think two is enough. One boy and one girl. Just like you and your brother! But to be honest I want a lot of grandkids!

 

Yoona shook her head as she remembered her mother’s wishful comments. She did enjoy listening to it though because she wanted to have a family of her own and that includes kids. Is Jessica part of that plan though?

 

Yoona sighed heavily as she entered the restaurant Yonghwa told her to come. As luck would have it, Sunny kindly ordered Yoona’s secretary to reschedule the supposed appointments tonight for tomorrow. That’s why Yoona found time to go to this place. She is kind of wary of her brother’s invitation though because he is such a prankster. She wouldn’t be surprised if he asked her to pay for tonight’s meal.

 

Yoona stopped by a mirror near the entrance and checked herself. She wore a pastel coordinated corporate attire from her blazer, above knee length skirt and five inch heels. Her white undershirt visually popped in contrast to her pastel ensemble and complemented by her white shoulder bag. She gathered her hair neatly and smoothly before tying it up to a ponytail.

 

She really hated dressing up lately but with her current job, the way she looked would reflect the company. That’s why Yoona had to buy more formal and corporate outfits. Was holding this temporary position worth it if she could no longer wear comfortable clothes? She missed slipping into a pair of jeans, shirt and rubber shoes. Those were the good old days.

 

Once she was sure she looked fine, she went further into the restaurant and was surprised to find Yonghwa already here. She actually thought she would arrive first. She was surprised though to see two women sitting in front of him. He kindly left the seat beside him empty.

 

“Noona.” He beamed, raising his hand. 

 

Yoona slowly walked towards the table. “Are you sick? You’re here early.”

 

“Noona, I’m not that kind of person anymore.”

 

“What kind exactly?”

 

“Immature?”

 

“I doubt that.” Yoona smirked then sat on the vacant seat. She was in for a shock upon seeing Jessica sitting in front of her and Seohyun beside her. “I didn’t know you invited Jessica too.”

 

“She didn’t know?” Yonghwa sounded surprised. “You’re living under the same roof. Are invitations like this often kept secret?”

 

“It probably just slipped our mind.” Yoona reasoned. She kept a wary gaze at Seohyun, wondering why she was here. Then she directed it to her brother. “What is this dinner for anyway?”

 

“Nothing. I just wanted to have dinner with you.” Yonghwa tried to evade the question.

 

Yoona’s eyebrows formed slits, unconvinced. “Did you know I cancelled a meeting with our new chairman of the board just to go here? I thought it was important since you don’t really invite me to dinner in a fancy restaurant. Where do you take me?” Yoona asked rhetorically. “That’s right. If I remember correctly you buy me kimbap, tteokbokki, noodles or fried food. This restaurant is too sophisticated for your taste.” She teased as she ruffled his neatly fixed hair.

 

“Noona!” He complained, removing the hand messing his hairdo. He then took a deep breath and faced Yoona with a serious expression. “The reason I invited Jessica noona was because I needed someone on my side and someone who will stop you if ever you decided to kill me.”

 

Yoona leaned against the seat as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. She directed her gaze to Jessica, thinking of the reason she and Seohyun are here. “Tell me what it is so I can decide if I will kill you or not.”

 

Yonghwa gulped. It was now or never. “Remember how I was the first person you told about your engagement with Jessica noona?” Yoona frowned at the memory but nodded. “Well, I am returning the favor.”

 

Yoona quickly turned her head towards Yonghwa and saw him stretch his hand across the table which Seohyun held and squeezed tightly. 

 

“I’m getting married, noona.” Yonghwa declared with a smile before turning to Seohyun who blushed at their eye contact. “Meet my fiance, Seohyun.”

 

“What?!” Yoona’s voice was louder than she intended. “I didn’t even know you were dating anyone and now you will tell me, all of the sudden, that you’re getting married?”

 

Yonghwa tensed up, letting go of Seohyun’s hand. He waved his hands frantically in front of Yoona. “I-I know, noona! I-I understand that. But it’s not like we dated for a short time before we got engaged. We’ve been together for almost two years now.”

 

Jessica turned her head to Seohyun, mouth agape. Their sweet, innocent and young CIAA director has been seeing someone for the past two years? Seohyun never told them anything. And to make matters complicated, her boss is apparently marrying her ex-wife’s brother.

 

Yoona held her breath as she calmed herself. She felt riled up all of the sudden. She didn’t like this sudden news. It also pissed her off that Yonghwa kept this relationship under the wraps for two years. “You know I hate it whenever people don’t tell the truth.” She said through gritted teeth.

 

Her words sent daggers to the three people around her. Jessica and Seohyun were guilty of Jessica’s undercover life and the lies surrounding that whilst Yonghwa was guilty of hiding his relationship.

 

“I-I know.” Yonghwa looked at his sister with somber eyes. “I didn’t mean to-”

 

“You hid it for two years, Yonghwa, so don’t tell me you didn’t mean to.” Yoona sharply retorted. “You chose not to tell me, us.”

 

Yonghwa hung his head low. He has no comeback for that because Yoona was right. He did not tell them and it was his fault. “I’m sorry but it’s true I didn’t mean to hide it.” He sought Seohyun’s eyes. “When Hyun and I started dating, I didn’t expect that we would last this long.” He turned to Yoona. “You said it yourself. I’m immature. I act like a kid all the time and my exes didn’t want to deal with someone like me so they dumped me early in the relationship. But Hyun was really patient with me.”

 

Yoona listened to his explanation, shifting her gazes around the three persons surrounding her.

 

“Unlike my exes, Hyun didn’t try to change me. She accepted me for who I am. Do you know how difficult that was?”

 

Yoona squared her jaw. Three pairs of eyes stared at her with bated breath. Yonghwa seemed agitated, Seohyun seemed nervous and Jessica seemed concerned for everyone.

 

“You still lied.” Yoona reasoned. “I thought you of all people would be honest with me.” She heaved a frustrated sigh. “Your current relationship lasted more than your previous ones. Did you take that as a sign that maybe you should have told us the truth?”

 

Yonghwa pouted. He then clung an arm around Yoona’s. “Noona…” He whined. “I’m sorry. Really.”

 

Yoona rolled her eyes. He was using her kindness against her because he knew she could never be truly mad at him. She wouldn’t go down that easily though. She will make it difficult for him. 

 

“When do you plan to get married?” 

 

Yonghwa exchanged gazes with Seohyun. “Well, we plan to get married in three months.”

 

“Three months?” Yoona’s tone was incredulous. “Isn’t that a little fast? Wait-” She gasped and alternated accusing gazes at the couple. She pointed an accusing finger at Yonghwa. “Don’t ing tell me you got her pregnant?!”

 

Seohyun blushed at the comment while Jessica suppressed a chuckle. Yonghwa frantically waved his hands in denial.

 

“No, noona! Although if that indeed happened, I would definitely take responsibility.” Yonghwa reasoned, cheeks heating up.

 

“It seems you two have done it then.” Yoona concluded and Seohyun wished she had a hole she could hide herself. 

 

“I swear we used protection.” Yonghwa defended.

 

For the first time that night Yoona couldn’t stop the corners of her lips from curling up until she eventually bursted into a fit of laughter. Yonghwa eyed her suspiciously but laughed along awkwardly much to Seohyun’s embarrassment.

 

Yoona cupped with her hand to stop herself. Inhaling to compose herself, she turned to Jessica. “What do you think?”

 

Jessica was surprised at the unexpected question. “Why me?”

 

“Yonghwa said he invited you because he needed someone on his side.” Yoona pointed out. “What do you think about his plan? Was it reasonable that he kept his relationship a secret, that he lied to us?”

 

Jessica crossed her leg over the other for she could feel her body hum with desire from the way Yoona was intensely looking at her. She suddenly remembered that night she took care of Yoona, when Yoona touched her all over her body, when those fingers Yoona were currently drumming against the table made her explode and scream in pleasure, when those lips caressed, and bruised her own. 

“I don’t think it was his intention to lie.” She reasoned calmly though her heart had started racing as Yoona cocked her head to the side, intrigued. “I think he was being careful. He did mention before that the girl he would introduce to us would be his future wife.”

 

Yonghwa clapped in admiration. “You remembered, noona!”

 

Jessica shrugged. “You and your sister were being loud during family night so yes, I would remember.” The siblings were arguing that night. Their mother brought up if Yonghwa had a girlfriend and Yoona teased that maybe he was dumped again so Yonghwa, pissed, told the family that the girl he would introduce would be his future wife.

 

“I am hurt.” Yonghwa playfully pouted. “My sister-in-law remembered but not my own sister.”

 

Yoona sat there in silence but after a while she faced Yonghwa with a suspiciously wide grin. Hand shot like a viper and hit the back of Yonghwa’s head.

 

“Ouch!” Yonghwa rubbed his head and flashed his sister a glare.

 

“You dare glare at me when you’re the one who has a mistake here?” She then turned to Seohyun. “Where did you first meet?”

 

Seohyun cleared . The entire discussion left dry out of nervousness. “Yonghwa saw me at a cafe reading alone. I told him I frequented the place so he would always come as well.”

 

“What do you do for a living?” Yoona asked despite knowing the answer to the question.

 

“I work in law enforcement.” Seohyun answered politely, setting aside her nervousness.

 

Yoona raised an eyebrow. Did Seohyun perhaps create a made-up life of herself this time? She clenched her jaw. Are they going to make Yonghwa a fool of himself just like they did Yoona? 

 

“Really?” Yoona’s question was thick with sarcasm. She darted her gaze to Yonghwa instead. “Have you ordered?”

 

He shook his head.

 

“Let’s go someplace else because I don’t think I can listen to this without getting drunk.” Yoona declared.

 

At Yoona’s behest, they abandoned the fancy restaurant and settled for a small family restaurant which happened to be the siblings’ favorite place. Yonghwa exchanged a playful banter with the lady owner who often catered to them every time they visited.

 

“It’s really good to see you, Yoona!” The lady said, clapping in glee as her eyes twinkled. From the looks of it, she really looked genuinely happy to see her. “When I heard your report, I knew that the bad people would be after you like wolves. You don’t know how nervous I was when I heard that you were critically injured after your kidnapping.” She kept her voice in a soft whisper so the other customers won’t hear.

 

Yoona smiled tenderly at the old lady. “I’m happy that I get to see you, ahjumma. I haven’t been here in a very long time.”

 

“Ahjumma, I bring us two plates of your delicious tteokbokki as well as two rolls of kimbap- no cucumber. We’ll also have soondae and stir fried pork. Who wants rice?” Yonghwa ordered and saw three hands raised. “Four bowls of rice too, ahjumma.”

 

The lady chuckled but before she left to fetch the food, Yoona ordered more. “Ahjumma, give us three bottles of soju please.” Then she left with a motherly smile.

Yoona scanned the table and the change in their sitting arrangement. Yonghwa is now seated beside Seohyun while Jessica is now seated beside her. Yoona didn’t know when the transition happened but she guessed they just happened to sit next to their partners.

 

“When did you realize you wanted to get married?” Yoona asked after a long silence. Her gaze bore into Yonghwa.

 

He held Seohyun’s hand and she squeezed it in hopes of giving him the courage to speak. “Three months ago, right after your kidnapping case.” He stared into his sister’s eyes. “When you were unconscious I saw the way Jessica noona took care of you. She never once left your side. Mom would cry every now and then but Jessica noona didn't. She remained strong for all of us." He sighed."I think if I witnessed Sica noona crying then I would have broken down as well." 

 

"Are you serious about him?" Yoona turned to Seohyun this time. "He admitted it himself. He's immature. He's very messy, snores loudly and well… Immature." 

 

Seohyun tilted her head to the side to flash him a tender smile before turning to Yoona. "I think that there will be things we will discover about each other in the long run. It might be habits or mannerisms that can be annoying and can start petty arguments. But isn't marriage a journey? There will be challenges and changes but at the end of the day you just have to accept it. If we have to talk about it in order to fix it, we will do exactly that. If we have to change for the other, we will do that as well." She poked his cheek in adoration."I am indeed serious about him."

 

"Nice save, honey." Yonghwa murmured before pecking her chastely on the cheek. 

 

Yoona looked on. She was thoroughly touched by Seohyun's words but still she was still hesitant. Is she going to involve Yonghwa in her web of lies as well?

 

There was a curtain of silence that enveloped the four of them. Yoona's gaze was fixed on the soju bottles the owner had placed on the table but rather than drinking, she was thinking about everything Yonghwa told her. 

 

Yonghwa glanced at Jessica, silently begging her to help him but the girl doesn't exactly know how to do that. She isn't Yoona's wife anymore. She no longer has the right to meddle with their family matters. However, Yonghwa doesn't know about that and so Jessica is torn what to do. 

 

Yoona grunted in annoyance before opening the lid of her rice bowl. She held her chopsticks and took a few slices of the pork before putting it inside . She then scooped a spoonful of rice and shoved it in. 

 

Taking a cue from her sister, Yonghwa took his chopsticks and tried to feed Seohyun a roll of kimbap but the girl gestured over to Yoona. 

 

"Yoona unnie is the eldest child and the head of the family right now. You should feed her first." Seohyun reasoned. It was an old Korean etiquette regarding elders. 

 

Yonghwa sheepishly nodded and held the kimbap in front of Yoona's mouth. The latter merely rolled her eyes at her clueless brother. She let him hold that position as she chewed her food. Once had space, Yoona opened as he gently popped it in. 

 

Yonghwa grinned before finally focusing on Seohyun. He gave her slices of stir fried pork and soondae before finally eating. Yoona glanced surreptitiously at Jessica who was having a hard time what to eat. The food Yonghwa ordered weren't exactly her favorites. 

 

Yoona reached for the pork and placed it on top of Jessica's bowl of rice. The girl didn't like soondae and she doesn't eat a lot of carbs so since she already has rice, she wouldn't eat the rice cakes in tteokbokki, kimbap and soondae since it has glass noodles and glutinous rice. 

 

Yoona raised a hand and she met the owner's gaze. "Ahjumma, we'll have one spicy squid too." 

 

Jessica blushed when Yoona urged her to eat the pork for now while waiting for the squid. Jessica nodded as she gingerly chewed on the meat Yoona gave her. 

 

"What did your parents say about your engagement?" Yoona said after a while, eyes fixed on Seohyun. She dragged her gaze to Yonghwa. "You did ask for their approval, right?" 

 

Seohyun cleared after drinking some water. "I lost my parents when I was young, unnie. I don't know if they had siblings or if I still had grandparents. My parents moved to Seoul when I was five and I lost them when I was nine. I don't remember much about them or if they mentioned any family members."

 

Yoona fell silent. Was that Seohyun's true story or perhaps it was another made up lie? She badly wanted to ask if that is true but she didn't want to sound rude especially since Yonghwa might misunderstand it. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-" 

 

"It's okay, unnie." She bumped her shoulder against Yonghwa. "We did visit the grave of my parents and he told them about the engagement." 

 

Yoona absentmindedly nodded as she stuffed with food. The squid came soon after and Jessica nearly squealed in delight at its mouthwatering visual. The hot soup created steam that carried the fragrant smell of the squid across the table. Jessica put a few slices on Yoona's rice bowl too before stuffing herself. 

 

Yoona stared at Yonghwa and watched as he pampered Seohyun by refilling her plate with side dishes one after the other other. She also witnessed Seohyun wipe the corner of his lips where the tteokbokki sauce remained. He would whisper something into her ear and she would giggle along with him despite saying that his joke was not that funny. 

 

Was that how she looked after she got engaged to Jessica? 

 

So happy and so in love. 

 

Maybe that was the reason Yoona didn't think Jessica was hiding any secret from her because Yoona was a fool in love. She believed what Jessica made her believe. 

 

After finishing his meal, Yonghwa decided to continue his plan of convincing her sister. His tone went lower as he started to be a little emotional. “We could have lost you while in surgery. You could have died when they beat you up and tortured you for information or got caught in the crossfire during your rescue. And when you woke up, I was relieved because I still have you. I still have my sister.”

 

Yoona shifted in her seat as her eyes started to water. She blinked it away and remained wearing the poker face.

 

“At that moment, I realized that I didn’t know what the future would hold. But I could see myself spending it with Seohyun.” He gazed into his sister’s eyes tenderly, seeking for approval. She is important in his life and if anything, her approval weighed a lot more than his parents. She was that important to him, that precious. “That’s why I wasted no time. I got a ring and proposed to her the same day.”

 

“Do you know her well enough to decide that you want to spend the rest of your days with her?” Yoona asked a burning question, alluding to Seohyun’s double life but Yonghwa wasn’t aware of that.

 

“I can continue knowing more things about her tomorrow until the rest of my days.” Yonghwa explained.

 

“What if you found out something about her along the way that can hurt you?”

 

“Couples fight all the time. No marriage is perfect. Mom and Dad weren’t and I’m sure you and Jessica noona also had disagreements. But since you guys love each other, at the end of the day, you’ll be able to fix it and make the marriage work.”

 

“Sometimes love is not enough.” Yoona commented bitterly. She quickly opened a bottle of soju and poured her shot glass full. She downed it in one shot and frowned at the bitterness.

 

Jessica agreed. Love wasn’t enough. It didn’t work for them. They still love each other but Yoona couldn’t just forget what happened and forgive Jessica. The agent understood where Yoona is coming from because Jessica still hasn’t forgiven herself either. She couldn’t forget the pain she caused Yoona and she couldn’t forgive herself because she was the reason Yoona almost died- all because of her deception.

 

And she understood Yoona’s hesitance and disapproval of Yonghwa’s news. If he introduced another girl, Yoona would have conceded by now and gave her approval, but he is marrying Seohyun, a woman who contains an equally secretive life like her. Jessica knew Yoona just couldn’t find it within her to give her approval, not when her brother’s heart is at the hand of a woman leading a double life.

 

Yonghwa gaped and watched Yoona finish three bottles of soju. His sister was obviously perturbed with his announcement. He tried taking a few shots away from Yoona but she would slap his forehead instead.

 

He gazed at Jessica with uncertainty. “I think she didn’t take the news quite well.”

 

“Give her time. I think she was just pissed you kept it from her. You know her… She hates being lied to.” She directed that comment to herself as well.

 

Yonghwa shook his head. He faced Seohyun and gazed at her with a sheepish smile. “I’m sorry you had to meet my sister this way. I swear, she’s much kinder on a regular day. I guess it’s just the after effects of the incident.” He reached for her hand and pressed the back of it against his cheek.

 

“I understand.” Seohyun stared at him full of love, longingness and understanding. “I think she really cares about you a lot.”

 

He nodded. “There’s only a year difference between us but Yoona noona treats me much younger than I am. I guess it’s partly because I’m immature. At a very young age she already knew what was right and what was wrong. Maybe our father being a journalist played a big role in her life. We were often scolded every time we tell a lie.”

 

“You seem to look up to her a lot.” Seohyun stated the obvious.

 

Yonghwa grinned as he sheepishly scratched his nape. “I do. She really is awesome. Do you know how strong her values are? She didn’t waver despite the fact that she was scared less while doing the investigation. I guess she knew harm or death was coming for her since she prepared that video in advance. I could feel her saying goodbye when I saw that and…” He breathed out to calm his shaky voice. “And I am glad she made it back.”

 

Seohyun cupped his face with both palms. “I understand that her approval means a lot to you. We’ll wait.”

 

Jessica stared at them in envy. Her eyes fell on Yoona who was leaning against the chair. She could tell Yoona was very hesitant in giving her approval to Seohyun and Jessica understood why.

 

Yoona didn’t want Yonghwa to experience what she did. She didn’t want Yonghwa to be hurt, to be lied to. Jessica sighed, frustrated. She understands where Yoona is coming from but Yoona needs to realize that the cover Jessica and all the other agents assumed was not done to fool the people they love but to ensure their security. It was also to prevent compromising their agency, fellow agents’ identities and their countries.

 

How many times did Jessica have to assume fake identities every time they went out the country for a mission? She was always afraid to die as someone else, not as Jessica Park. What if the extraction team failed to get her body and bring it back to her wife? Yoona would be devastated if she would assume that Jessica left her. Jessica wouldn’t have a decent burial as well.

 

Jessica was knocked out of her reverie when Yoona’s unsupported head found its way to her shoulder. She reached a hand and caressed her face, savoring the warmth Yoona exuded. She then faced Yonghwa. “Do you mind helping me take her home?”

 

He nodded. “I plan to, noona. I want to talk to her tomorrow morning too.”

 

He paid first for their meal then carried Yoona on his back. Since Yonghwa and Seohyun took a cab to the restaurant, they decided to take Yoona’s car instead. Jessica drove her own and led the way to the house she shared with Yoona before. Yoona’s family has no idea yet that they separated so she opted to hide the truth for now since that was what Yoona wanted.

 

Jessica had to help Yonghwa bring Yoona to their bedroom because even though Yoona was thin, she was long and therefore heavy. He put her into bed nicely, covering her body with the thick sheets.

 

“Yong…” Yoona called.

 

He quickly turned around and faced her. “Do you need anything noona?”

 

Yoona’s eyes started to flutter open however she kept her gaze on the ceiling. “Are you serious about getting married?”

 

“Yes, noona.”

 

“Do you know everything there is to know about her?”

 

Yonghwa chuckled. “Of course not, noona. But isn’t that what marriage is all about? You get to know your partner endlessly.” He sat next to Yoona and leaned his back against the headboard. “We might fight because she may realize I am not very tidy. She may sometimes get impatient about my lame jokes or my stubbornness and scold me and that’s okay. I can improve myself.”

 

Yoona rolled around and placed an arm over his waist as she snuggled close to his side. “You know I really care about you, right?”

 

“I know that. You care that’s why you’re making this tough for us and I understand.” Yonghwa sympathized with his sister, understanding her repercussions. “I know that you’re doing this because you don’t want us to make a mistake.” He could feel her nod and he smiled. “Sleep now, noona. We’ll talk tomorrow.”

 

“Promise me you won’t leave.” Yoona drunkenly slurs.

 

Yonghwa her hair and nodded albeit Yoona couldn’t see it. “Yes. Hyun and I are staying in the guest room. We won’t do anything you wouldn’t like.” He assured.

 

“Good.” That was the last thing she said before she fell asleep as proven when a soft snore vibrated beside him.

 

Yonghwa gently pried her arms off him and tucked her inside the sheets. He then slowly walked to where Seohyun and Jessica stood near the door frame. “She’s fallen asleep, Sica noona.”

 

Jessica hugged herself as her gaze lingered tenderly on Yoona’s sleeping face. “She really love you, Yonghwa.”

 

“And I love her too.” He admitted.

 

“What if she doesn’t agree?” Jessica finally faced him, looking so grim.

 

His smile didn’t falter though. He reached for Seohyun’s hand, gave it a squeeze before he brought it up against his lips. “I won’t give up. You know how stubborn I am. We’ll just continue to convince her and prove that we are ready, that we love each other and that she doesn’t need to fear for our future because we will face it head on – together.”

 

Seohyun’s heart swelled with pride and couldn’t stop herself from leaning forward and capturing his lips for a chaste kiss. “Yeah, we won’t give up.”

 

“Good.” Jessica beamed. “You know your sister. She wouldn’t be able to resist you.”

 

“Well, we have something in common then.”

 

A frown made its way to Jessica’s face. “What do you mean?”

 

“I mean I am sure Yoona noona also finds you irresistible.”

 

Jessica flushed red and to hide her embarrassment shooed Yonghwa and Seohyun out of their room. She whispered them a soft ‘good night’ before shutting the door. She then walked over to her side of the bed and watched as Yoona’s chest heaved up and down peacefully.

 

She swallowed nervously as she slowly laid herself down on the bed. She inched herself closer to Yoona until her face was right in front Yoona’s wide shoulders. She could smell Yoona’s perfume and hear the girl’s soft snores which slowly lulled her to sleep.

 

As Jessica fell into deep slumber, Yoona rolled around the bed until she was facing Jessica. Even half-asleep, Yoona’s arm automatically searches and finds the warmth next to her. She wrapped an arm around Jessica and sighed in content, thinking it was all a dream.

 

Yet it was very real.

 

 

 

****

 

 

Yoona slowly stirred awake when she felt like her bladder was going to explode. She slowly fluttered her eyes open and when her vision started to focus, she realized that she wasn’t in her apartment. She glanced around the familiar interior and felt a weight on her shoulder and tummy. She looked down and noticed that Jessica’s head is laid on top her shoulder while her arm is draped over her tummy.

 

She smiled but then eventually that smile faltered as her heart ached once again. Why does every time she looked at Jessica she always feel hurt? Why? Yoona didn’t know the answer to that so she came up with a rather pitiful solution – stay away from the love of her life.

 

It was ironic that Jessica was her love, her everything, the very air she breathe and yet also the source of her tremendous heartache and misery.

 

Slowly, she pried her body off Jessica and gently laid her head down the soft covers. She put the blanket over the still deeply asleep girl and when sure the girl won’t wake, leaned down and planted a kiss at the top of her head.

 

It pained Yoona to be this close to Jessica and it also pained her to be away from her. Which is why it confused Yoona. She wasn’t sure what was truly inside her heart, what she truly wanted and needed.

 

Remembering that she needed to pee, Yoona went to their bathroom to relieve herself. Once she was done, she threw Jessica one fleeting look before exiting the bedroom she formerly shared with her ex-wife. Yoona headed to the kitchen to make herself some coffee because after relieving herself in the restroom, the after effects of soju from last night has given her a slight headache.

 

To her surprise, Seohyun was in the kitchen making coffee herself. “Oh, good morning unnie.”

 

Yoona nodded in acknowledgement. She walked near the sink and opened a drawer to get a mug. She then went to the water dispenser and poured herself lukewarm water. After she finished it, she neared where Seohyun stood and poured herself some coffee from the coffee maker.

 

She then turned around and leaned her against the counter near the sink. She blew on her coffee then took a sip. She let a contented purr once the warm liquid entered her system.

 

Seohyun nibbled on her lower as she struggled to speak. She was now sanding side to side with Yoona and she had the chance to clear the misunderstanding, to defend her relationship with Yonghwa and to fight for their wedding. However, Yoona spoke first.

 

“I still love Jessica” Yoona started.

 

Seohyun hummed as she let a small nod. That alone was obvious. Love has always been present for both Jessica and Yoona. It never left. “I know that, unnie.”

 

“When I was held captive, I couldn’t understand why they were looking for Sica. I always pleaded that they leave her out of it, to kill me instead.” She turned to her side and was surprised when Seohyun met her gaze. “I would die for her, Seohyun. That’s how much I love her.”

 

Seohyun nodded again. “I know. Jessica unnie was also like that.” She took another sip of her coffee as her gaze averted to the closed bedroom door of Jessica. “She often risked her life for the sake of others, for this country and by extension the continent and for the sake of her loved ones. Jessica unnie was always careful and rational whenever she was out on missions because she wanted to complete it immediately without any complication and come home to you alive.”

 

Yoona listened intently. She already knew that. Taeyeon once mentioned that before, to put herself in Jessica’s shoes.

 

“I know you are scared that I might hurt Yonghwa the way Jessica unnie hurt you by hiding her true identity but you need to understand,” She looked back at Yoona with eyes imploring for reason. “It wasn’t done to hurt you or make a fool out of you. Jessica unnie hid it because she didn’t want you to be involved in her dangerous career. Of course it eventually failed because Young Suzy and her family found out her cover life and they got their hands on you, but still, Jessica unnie did her best. I don’t want to involve Yonghwa as well which is why I am also going to make the exact same choice Jessica unnie did – I’ll hide it from him.”

 

“Seohyun-”

 

“I know it will take time for us to get your blessings. I understand it perfectly. I won’t insist and most definitely your brother will not force you. But I want you to know that we won’t give up.” Seohyun added with conviction. “I love Yonghwa. It took me a long time to find someone that I care about, who I want to spend the rest of my life with and I won’t let this chance slip away.”

 

Yoona listened as she slowly finished her coffee. Her mind was too busy processing everything. She weighed all the factors and finally decided. Once her mug was empty, she put it down the sink. She crossed her arms in front of her and turned her body slightly towards Seohyun.

 

“You want my blessing?”

 

Seohyun let a determined nod.

 

“I have two conditions.” Yoona raised two fingers to emphasize her point.

 

“I’ll try my best to fulfill them, unnie.” Seohyun promised.

 

“First, I want you to do something so that I can personally witness Jessica’s life as an agent.” Yoona began and Seohyun’s forehead quickly creased. “And second, I know you guys can make any document appear and disappear as proven by the fabricated documents surrounding Jessica Park’s background. I want you to delete the document rendering our marriage null and void.”

 

“What?” Seohyun croaked out. “You mean you want me to erase the cancellation of your marriage?”

 

“Exactly.” Yoona nodded. “I realized something. I am broken and miserable alone… But if I have Jessica, I think everything will be bearable. Maybe I’ll find happiness again if I embrace the person who makes me happy.”

 

“You mean-”

 

“I want to get back with Jessica.” Yoona asserted with conviction. “Those are my conditions. Fulfill it and you and Yonghwa can have your wedding immediately.”

 

Seohyun gasped excitedly. She put her mug down and engulfed Yoona into a tight hug. “OMG! Yoona unnie! Jessica unnie will be happy to know this!”

 

Yoona pulled away and put a finger against her lips. “Don’t tell, Sica. Don’t tell anybody.”

 

Seohyun nodded. She paced in front of Yoona as her mind started to think of a plan. She then stopped and looked at Yoona with a huge grin. “I remember Yonghwa mentioning that his sister is really good at driving a motorcycle.”

 

Yoona nodded. “I am. I participated in motor races and motocross. I was a local champion in our city. I was into motorcycles and computer when I was a kid… Why did you mention it?”

 

Seohyun grinned mischievously. “Well, there is this mission we are doing next week. You know those robberies that happened recently and the authorities always lose the robbers during a car chase because they had a really good driver?”

 

Yoona nodded. Apparently the driver of those robbers was really good at handling the wheel so they always evaded the police. The CIAA found the driver as an asset because a skill like that is totally needed in their agency which is why they want to catch the robbers to solve the case and eventually get the driver under their wing.

 

“Well, we have a plan how to arrest them and it involves skilled motorcycle drivers.”

 

Yoona smirked, loving the idea.

 

It seems like she will get along just fine with her future sister-in-law.

 

TBC

 

OKAY I LIED. I SAID ON MY LAST UPDATE THAT THIS WILL BE THE LAST CHAPTER BUT AFTER WRITING THIS, I REALIZED THAT I WILL NEED ANOTHER CHAPTER BEFORE I OFFICIALLY COMPLETE THIS FIC! AN EPILOGUE WILL FOLLOW!

 

HUHUHUHU GUYS IT IS GOOD TO BE BACK! T______________T I KNOW I HAVE A LOT OF PENDING FICS BUT I JUST WANT YOU ALL TO KNOW THAT I PLAN TO FINISH ALL OF THEM. OF COURSE IT WILL TAKE TIME BUT REST ASSURED THAT I WILL COMPLETE THEM. I DON'T WANT TO LEAVE IT LIKE THAT.

 

ANYWAY, LAST UPDATE OF THIS STORY WAS ON DEC. 5, 2015. ALMOST 5 YEARS! BUT LOOOOOOOOOK! AN UPDATE! <3

 

THANK YOU FOR ALL YOUR SUPPORT. AS A CELEBRATION FOR THIS LONG OVERDUE UPDATE (AND LONG CHAPTER TO BOOT 24K WORDS!), PLEASE UPVOTE AND COMMENT! I MISSED YOU ALL! <3

 

WITH LOVE,

 

-KARIBOO17