It’s getting out of control, I know.

I am fully aware that I’m not holding it in as good as I have before. I want to smack myself for falling for my best friend in the first place. But it’s not like I chose to, it just happened.

And I know how much I mean to Sehun, as a friend. I know how much it would hurt him if I start to avoid him, or even worse, stop being his friend. So I made a promise to myself to stop acting weird and contain myself around him. I can do that like before, right?

So I kept myself together and accepted his invite to a party this Saturday.

A couple of days later, I was in the car with him, relishing in the short ten minutes it takes to drive from my house to the one where the party was being thrown. It is one of my favourite things in the world, driving around with Sehun. We don’t talk too much, but the silence between us is a comfortable one. In those moments, I mostly daydream about what it would feel like to hold his hand and play with his fingers while he’s driving. I bet he’d swipe his thumb over the back of my hand the whole time. He might even bring it to his lips and kiss it softly.

Hayoung, stop it.

And I did managed to stop it until an hour or two later into the party, when Sehun shuffled his way through the crowd of people to where I’ve been sitting. I haven’t been in the mood for dancing that night, not really. I was not even in the mood for conversing with anyone besides Sehun, but I forced myself to be polite and talk to a couple of people I know from my classes while he’s somewhere, doing the exact of what I’ve been avoiding. He plopped down next to me, unusually close for the empty sofa. He crowded into the corner I’m sitting at and I can smell the faint scent of alcohol on his breath mixing in with his familiar cologne.

“Hiiii.” He softly smiled with his sleepy eyes. He’s tipsy, borderline drunk, and it’s adorable.

I smiled back at him. “Hey, brat.”

“What is a lovely girl such as you doing here, sitting all alone?” He asked, leaning in closer to my ear, making sure that I hear him over the loud music. His voice sounded deeper than usual and he slurred his words just a little.

I fought off a shiver.

I backed away a little so I can see his face and took a good look on him. Is he… trying to