Seoul 2013

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGy51MX6KLA (please watch this to get the feel)

MC: So, do you have a girlfriend? 

Luhan: NO, i have not

MC: When in China, you had?

stutter..

Luhan: I had not

members are laughing now. They dont know what Luhan's feel right now. should he say he have because Chun is still his girlfriend right in his heart. but, Chun is gone now.

MC: We are likely capture a big one

Everyone laugh. Luhan awkwardly laughing too.

MC: Let us talk about your first kiss. How about it?

Luhan: My first kiss...well..(stutter again)

Luhan monologues

 Yes, i have a girlfriend. She will be my forever girlfriend. Yes, i did my first kiss. 7 years ago. Till now, i can feel the moist of Chun's lips. Chun, i miss you badly. 

2014, Beijing China

Members of EXO are being make up by their stylist. They are having a concert tonight and since tomorrow they dont have any schedule, Luhan asked to the manager to give him a break for few hours before flying back to Korea. He wanted to visit his hometown.

Luhan is prepared to be on stage so he just wait for the other members to finish their make up. Suddenly Sehun showed him pictures of both of them that made by fans. 

"Hyung, see this. hahahha.. They are so funny. Btw, we are handsome in these pictures are'nt we?" Sehun laughing while Luhan smiling. 

"No, we are manly. I am manly in these pictures." 

“Yes hyung. Whatever you said, but I’m sure I’m cuter than you. mehrong~” Sehun stick out his tongue.

Luhan laughs at Sehun’s choding act and kicked his . There goes, Sehun makes another aegyo saying he is in pain then he ran away. Luhan sat down on the bench at the dressing room and he is searching for his pictures in SNS. Sounds funny for an idol to search own name but he just want to make sure of something. Luhan smiles when he found out what he searched for.

HUNHAN couple

XIUHAN couple

LUKAI couple

So many nicknames for him as fans see him too close with other members. There is also gif image that fans made and shipped them so much. Then he search again for the comments.

“Luhan oppa is only for maknae Sehunnie”

“Xiuhan forever”

There are so many comments and mostly it’s about Luhan coupling with members. There is no scandal about him and girl. Yeah, except for the case he slips out about girlfriend thing last year. Except from that, there isn’t any. Actually Luhan glad this thing is made up for him. It has save him from any girls’ temptation to him. It's not like no girl approaching him but he just not interested with all of them. Trainees, girl idols, they are crazy about him because of his good manner and easy going style. Plus, he is super good looking. Luhan is famous in idol world as a nice guy, but hard to be approached

He is not a gay. He is normal, straight guy who only loves a woman. Too bad, the woman he long for is no more in this world. Luhan sat there for quite some time. His mind was crowded with memories. Luhan move from Beijing to Seoul as a transfer student. Yes, everyone knew about that. The things that they dont know is the reason of him to do so. He was lost and almost crazy because of Chun. Until one time, he got an offer asa transfer student to Seoul and that's when everyone around him persuades him to leave. He should build a new life at Seoul. For 8 years, he has struggling to live by himself in a foreign land. His strengths are come from Chun. 

For 6 years, he don't go to visit her grave, not for once. Not because of he already forgets his Spring, but Luhan afraids, that he will give up all his new built life. Now, after 6 years, he has made up his mind to visit Chun. It's been too long since his last visiting. 

*For part below, i would like you to play this song while scrolling down.. this song is actually in Malay version which my fav singer sang it and it has deep meaning and it's really related to Luhan's situation..I'm sorry because i can't find any with eng subs..but i will provide another version, chinese cover :)*

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KrM5h4BSiZY  (malay version)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V2N4ABDQmP0 (chinese version)

p/s : i could give the translate of this song in eng to any one who ask for it because i'm so lazy making eng sub in video..hehe 

   ***************************************************************************************************************************************

"Chun, i'm here. How are you up there? I miss you so much Chun”

Luhan sheds his tears that start to fall down. He is now at the edge of a cliff, where both of them spent their last time together.

“It’s already 6 years since I last visited you. Do you still remember me? I know you’re up there watching each step of mine. Look, I’m already achieving my dream. No, it’s our dream together. Are you proud of me now Chun? I really hope you’re here to comfort me and be my shadow, assist me in this path. It’s getting smoother now than the last time when I am a trainee. Still, the world is getting harder. The saddest thing is, you’re not here beside me. I need you so much till every time I’m facing the problem, I can only cried alone and just mentioning you before sleep, hoping you would come in my dream. Look at me now Chun, I’m Luhan of EXO. I’m a singer. Just like what you dreamt of before.”

Luhan takes a deep breath before continuing his monologues.

“Chun, just now I’m visiting your house. I went to your room. All your things are still in good condition. A yi always kept them as what you leave it before. It seems like you’re still here with us. But, do you want to know something? The last thing A yi said to me. It was hurt, but should I do it? She told me to really letting go of all about you. How could I? You've brought me up till here. I’m not Luhan if there isn’t for you. I’m still Xi Lu Han that has maybe played for China’s football team. But I can do both now. I’m happy now Chun. Now, she told me this. That I must open up the new chapter in my life. By leaving you? I don’t know if I can do that Chun.”

When ‘leaving’ words are spit out from his mouth, he can’t stop his tears anymore. Just imagining that thing happening in future, he lives as Luhan now by the spirit that Chun have gave to him.

“Do you think a yi are mad with me because I didn’t ever visit you after I came to Korea? Chun, help me dear. I’m clueless right now. When I’m revising my mind, I thought yes, I should start my life without you. Getting my spring back that already lost for 8 years. I should realize, no matter how long I wait for you, Chun, you’re not going back from heaven and be with me. So tell me Chun what should I do now? How do I live now Chun? Tell me!”

Luhan kneeling and cries. He is really in confusion right now. Half of him told that he should live by leaving his memories past. The other half is asking him to stay by his memories.

For three hours he is kneeling like that and lastly he stands up. He has already makes up his mind.

“Chun, I’m sorry. I’m very sorry. This time, I’ll go. I’m not going to long for you again. I will live as Luhan. I can proudly say now I’m already achieving our dream. Now, it’s time to let you go Chun. I will not ever forgetting you because you are the best memories in my life ever. But, from now on, I’ll keep those memories in the corner of my heart. Gives me your blessings will you? Again, I’m sorry dear.”

Luhan walks away. He needs to come back to his dorm right now. This was maybe the last time he comes here. His heart throbbed, yet he pulled it together with his feet’s, moving from there.  Again, his manly tears are falling like a rain.

“You are man Luhan. You are man.” Luhan keep chanting that words because that’s the last fighting word Chun ever gave to him. 

               ****************************************************************************************************************

EXO are doing their fan-signing at the event in Gimpo. From morning until the late evening, the fan comes nonstop. Though they have to pay for seeing their idols, the fans don’t care at all. They are happy as long as they can see their idols in close.

“Are we going to sit here for another hour? I’m tired and hungry.” Sehun mumbles as he rubs his stomach.

“Relax. There are less people now. Maybe in less than half an hour we can go stop and leaves. Finish up your work first Sehunnie” Suho alerted him as he doesn’t want their fans to hear what Sehun said.

Luhan is still widely smiling and he pats Sehun’s shoulder. He gives ‘fighting’ sign to him. A truth he is drained also but since fans are coming from far and queuing for them, Luhan doesn’t want to let them down by showing a tired face and grumpy look.

“Okay we’re going to close this event by 5 minutes more. After that no more fans are allowed to queue.” The manager speaks to the crowd. Actually not too crowd. There are only few fans left.

“Lu ge! I love you so much!”

That voice! Luhan raise his head. He is shocked.

“Chun!” Luhan stand up. He paled.