Pouring some green tea for his father before setting the pot on a trivet in front of him so that they could continue to use the pot of tea throughout their meal, Myungsoo couldn't help but observe what section of the newspaper his father was on. Only to notice that he was close to the end of it, the observation telling him that he didn't have much time when it came to finishing their food as this father's wrath was usually always a hair trigger away whenever Myungsoo didn't get his chores done on time. Knowing that he didn't have more than a few minutes to get things finished, even if it had been an unusually long, exhausting, and emotional day for him and that it would be nice for him to get a pass on getting yelled at, Myungsoo knew those type of things didn't really matter that much to his father who was expecting dinner to be ready and placed in front of him by the time he was finished reading the paper. 

All Myungsoo could do in his eyes was make sure that the house was clean and that he had dinner ready for him by the time that he had wanted to eat. Even school didn't have much of a reason for Myungsoo to slack off on chores from time to time.

So hands subconsciously shaking a bit at the thought of not getting the meat done in time for dinner, Myungsoo couldn't help but quickly make his way to the kitchen after he was done pouring the tea to check on the meat and see if it was cooked enough to serve. Almost sighing in relief at the smell and color of it, he quickly cut through some of it to see if it was cooked all the way through and was safe enough for the two of them to eat. Noticing no pink but a uniformal color that was associated with it being done, Myungsoo set the pieces of meat onto a plate before he went ot turn off the grill. 

Being extra cautious of the stove, making sure everything was turned off and that he didn't forget anything potentially hazardous to burning down the kitchen, not wanting anymore accidents related to the stove or any hot items that could be around, Myungsoo couldn't help but give a small, barely there nod when he noticed that everything was off and that nothing was going to catch on fire if he left. Because if anything did manage to do that, his father wouldn't be happy and Myungsoo's other arm would most likely be put in danger of getting burned since his father was uncontrollable when he was angry and had a habit of hurting him whenever he did something stupid, didn't listen, or didn't live up to his expectations. And even though it had been years since the man had burned his skin so bad that he had been hospitalized for days, that still didn't mean the man hadn't stop hurting him, he was just better at hiding it so others couldn't see.

But to Myungsoo, it wasn't like he didn't deserve to get hit because there were too many times to count where he had been stupid, was at fault, and according to his father, deserved it because there was no other way to punish him. And since he was a defective little thing who aggravated, embarrassed, and let his father down far too many times in his life, unable to please him, Myungsoo felt the abuse was warranted a lot of times. And while he objectively knew that what his father was doing was bad, his situation was completely different than others.

Other people weren't like him and they didn't do the things that he did, so as much as he disliked getting hurt by his father, it wasn't like he didn't deserve it.

Swiftly making his way back to the table, it didn't take him long to place the plate of meat next the rest of the side dishes that were already placed in front of him and his father, completing the somewhat traditional dinner they were having that night. His father insisting that Myungsoo didn't skimp on their meals together, Myungsoo was used to making multiple side dishes that were used to complete whatever meal they were eating for that night, and the only dinner that normally didn't require it was when his father felt like eating curry instead of the usual fare they had.

Unable to stop himself from giving one last check towards the food, he quietly took note of the dinner in front him, making sure that he didn't need to get anything else before he could take his seat and eat. So taking in the white rice and seaweed soup that was placed next to his and his father's clear plates, while pickled cucumber and radishes, recently made kimchi, and sautéed green beans were situated in the middle of the table top before them, he was glad to note that nothing was missing and that he had been able to get dinner done in time. Finally letting himself take a seat, making sure to sit at attention as he did so, his posture silently told his father that everything was there and that they could finally eat as he silently waited for the man to be finished with his reading. 

Seeing his son sit down with back straight and his hands placed on his lap while he kept his head down, obviously waiting for him to take the first bite of their meal, a gesture that the boy would always do before they ate, a gesture that he had taught him throughout the years, he couldn't help but feel a little pleased at that. Setting his newspaper aside to grab his chopsticks, it didn't take him long to grab a few pieces of meat and side dishes before he was taking a few bites of his meal, noticing how well cooked it was as he did so, he couldn't help but continue to eat, knowing that Myungsoo would be quick to follow a minute later.

Silently taking in the view of his father eating, obviously liking the meal enough to continue eating without complaint, Myungsoo knew that he had permission to eat too. So now able to relax a bit more at the thought of his father enjoying his food, Myungsoo finally went to grab some food for himself, ignoring the way his arm happened to shake from the effort of holding onto one of the heavier plates, the pain from his tattoo making itself known again. Not wanting to call attention to it, Myungsoo just quickly finished sliding some of the side dishes onto his plate before setting the dishes back down so that he could eat.

Taking a bit less than he usually did, stomach feeling as if it was unable to eat that much since it still felt as if it was in knots, despite school being more than a few hours ago and him actually getting a chance to take a much needed ten minute nap before he had to finish his chores, Myungsoo knew it was better to be safe than sorry when it came to how much he ate. Especially since he didn't want to overstuff himself and end up throwing it up later, vomiting what he had to eat for a second time that day. 

So slowly taking a few bites of his food, carefully eating what was in front of him, but only able to get about half of it down before he had felt like he needed a break, he made a move to drink some of his tea instead, hoping the drink would make a little bit more room and settle his stomach. Unable to stop his mind from wandering a bit to what had happened earlier that day, his thoughts still a mess after everything while his body felt unnaturally wired due to that and his father's presence, the man always able to make him feel small and insignificant despite not doing anything to him, Myungsoo couldn't help but jump a little at his father's "How was school?"

Eyes widening a bit from the surprise of letting himself get as lost in thought as he had, he quickly set down his tea and turned his attention to his father, shakily signing:

It was okay, I have a test next week.

Only to feel terrible about his answer since it seemed as if he was outright lying to his father... Well, omitting the truth because he did have a test coming up, but that still didn't stop his stomach from churning or his hands from shaking anymore than they already were. Even his palms felt sweaty and gross and he just hoped that his father didn't notice too much of the negative air that surrounded him and demanded for more of an answer than what he was giving, angry at him for not telling him the truth.

However, comparing his answer to what he could have said about him actually finding his soulmate, being rejected by him moments later, and then possibly forgiven later that day, only for him to ruin whatever it was between them again because he couldn't deal with showing the other boy his arm, wouldn't have been much better either.

Especially since he couldn't have shown his arm to Sungyeol because of how revolting and gross looking it was or how frightening it looked, almost as if he was part Frankenstein sometimes instead of the boy he was. And when he compared how saw himself to how he saw Sungyeol, beautiful Sungyeol with his unblemished skin that didn't have disgusting scars that took up half of their arms or any of the other injuries and scars that he had on various other places of his body, Myungsoo couldn't help but be insecure and scared to show off his body to anyone as his arm was just the tip of the iceberg, the ugliest part of it, but there were other injuries and scars that lingered like the ugly looking ones on his thighs where he had to have some skin taken for the skin grafts for the worst parts of his arm. 

He didn't even change in the locker room with his peers whenever it was gym time and when it came to the gym uniform, he always wore long sleeve shirts and pants that at least went past the knees, even if it was too hot outside to do so and the other students gave him looks. But those looks were much better than the looks that he would have received if they ever saw how mangled his arm was or how ugly his thighs looked either. And while his thighs were nowhere near as bad as his arm, he still felt self-conscious of them sometimes.

His face may have looked okay in comparison to the rest of his body, but his body more than made up for how ugly and hideous he looked. Even his father who used to tell him how much he looked like his mother, his beautiful and wonderful mother that loved him so much that she didn't even care that he was defective, as a child stopped doing it when his mother had died. Then after the incident with his arm and his father's drinking habits just continued to drill too many ugly truths into his head, making him see how he didn't measure up and why he deserved what he got.

And even though he had been excited at the prospect of getting a soulmate, of being able to have someone that loved him unconditionally, Myungsoo had never really thought that far ahead about how the other would take his body and if he really thought about it, Myungsoo probably would have happily went along wearing long sleeve shirts and pants all the time, never saying anything until he had to. But having Sungyeol ask for his arm, asking to see it within a day of them meeting, Myungsoo couldn't help but be scared, especially after he had been rejected earlier that day and just knowing how ugly his arm was, he didn't want Sungyeol to know how repulsive he looked underneath everything else.

It was too much for him; it was too soon for him to show the other something like that just yet, and while it wouldn't have been a big deal for anyone else to show Sungyeol their arm, Myungsoo didn't exactly feel comfortable with doing something like that.

It was his body and for Sungyeol to ask for that, especially after he had rejected him in the morning and for his friends to ridicule him and call him unworthy (not like he needed any reminders on that, he was already aware of all his shortcomings and how he didn't match up to Sungyeol and probably never would), thinking he was lying on top of everything else, almost as if he was unable to trust him more than his father usually did, he had felt sick. Only to feel even more stupid and horrible for thinking that way a couple of minutes later on his way home, thinking about how stupid he had been and was upset that he was that he couldn't be like everyone else, ruining whatever he had with Sungyeol once again.

He felt too many confusing emotions about what had happened, that even if he had proceeded to tell his father anything about Sungyeol just yet, specifically after how much he had messed up when it came to the older boy that day, he couldn't help but feel as if his father would do something he didn't like. The man either laughing at how pitiful he was that even his soulmate didn't want him or how he would tell him that he was right and that no matter what he did, he didn't deserve to have one because there was really nothing likable about him to warrant having one. Just the thought of either scenario and the words he would say would just make him hurt even more and he had felt like he had been hurt more than enough that day.

So omitting the truth was the best option, even if it left a bad taste in his mouth.

While his father could only narrow his eyes a bit at Myungsoo's behavior, noticing how rigid he was and how much his hands shook as he signed, that he couldn't help but ask, wondering if Myungsoo was having trouble or something, "What class? Calculus? English?"

Keeping himself as calm as he could, trying to keep his hands from shaking too much still, Myungsoo was able to reply, even if his fingers faltered just a tad while he did so:

No, chemistry.

Letting a brow rise at Myungsoo's answer, already knowing how hard a class like that could be, especially since he had absolutely hated it during college when he had taken it, but remembered that it hadn't been that bad during his high school years, he could only answer, quite stern, "If you study you should be fine to get an A just like you always do, unless you're having trouble in that class, you aren't are you? Because if you are, then you either need to talk to the teacher and bring your grade up so that it is an A or you'll have to face the consequences if you don't. You already know how I feel about your grades and I don't want a repeat of what happened last year."

Feeling shame heat his face for a second before his stomach was dropping out from under him as if he was on a terrifying rollercoaster ride, face turning two or three shades paler than it had been before as he been unable to stop himself from thinking of what had happened last time, he could only shake his head no, anxiety written over his entire being as he signed, fingers moving rapidly, almost so fast that his father couldn't understand what he was saying:

No. No I'm doing fine. I'm not failing, I'm not getting bad grades. I'll get that A, just like you want, just like you always want. I know what will happen if I don't, but I'm doing well, I won't disappoint you again. I won't.

Skeptical but satisfied with that answer, at least for the time being, his father calmly took another bite of his food before replying, "Good, I was just making sure, I don't want you to fail while you're at school. Anything else you want to tell me?"

Too shaken to say much more, he quickly gave: 

No, nothing... How was your day? 

Quickly picking up his chopsticks again, he started stuffing his mouth with food, not caring if his stomach was protesting at him for doing so. But when he noticed his father start telling him about his day, complaining about some of his colleagues at work, suddenly distracted enough from having Myungsoo tell him anything else, especially anything about Sungyeol, he hid a sigh of relief.

For the first time that day, he could finally count himself lucky, he had been able to dodge one of his father's bullets at the very least.

While a couple of blocks down, in his room with the door closed and some music , Sungyeol had already finished a relatively peaceful dinner with his family as he too been able to keep the state of his tattoo hidden from them until he had gotten everything sorted out. Laying on his bed, homework already finished or put off to do the next day, he couldn't help but quietly think about everything that had happened that day, only for him to jump off his bed a couple of minutes later to grab an unused notebook from his desk and set it with the rest of his things that he would take to school the next morning.

Maybe giving Myungsoo something to write on would help him understand him a lot better; if he was still willing to speak to him that is.

Sungyeol didn't want to think of how he would react if he didn't.  

[ A/N ] : Okay, I thought I was going to have the two meet for this chapter but it didn't happen, but the next chapter for sure will have them do that, so you'll have to wait a little bit longer to see how things play out with that. But other than that, I appreciate all the support that has been given for this fic and I hope you enjoyed the chapter. :)