I hope he likes this... I really, really do. 

Myungsoo couldn't help but think as he silently looked at the black button-up and light blue sweater combo that was lain before him. The material of both shirts were quite soft, yet sturdy in the way that high-quality products were - essentially, they felt expensive. Something of which Myungsoo wasn't used to, especially since the nicest clothes that he had in his wardrobe was his school uniform. And that was definitely not something that Myungsoo couldn't wear to a date, even if Myungsoo had thought the uniform shirt would have been an okay thing to wear since it wouldn't look that bad with his one good pair of jeans. But it hadn't taken long for Zitao to convince him otherwise when the taller boy had asked. Zitao's reasons for why he shouldn't think of wearing such a thing was based on the fact that the school uniform was for school, not dates. Never mind the fact that Sungyeol would probably be wearing something nice, even if the date was supposed to be more of a casual thing, it still would be better for Myungsoo to wear something else to go with the occasion. 

Unlike most of his peers though, especially those that came from money and were allowed to use it, Myungsoo didn't really have nice clothes. His clothes looked cheap and faded, especially when compared to what Myungsoo would occasionally spot in brand name stores. Something of which Myungsoo didn't buy from due to most of his wardrobe consisting of things he had found from the thrift store. And while Myungsoo did have a few things that weren't cheap looking and did a decent job keeping him warm, even if he had to wear quite a few layers, they just didn't fit the season. Especially since most of his nicer sweaters were Christmas related and with it being October, it would look more than a bit odd for him to wear those types of things. Plus, it didn't help that Zitao and even Sungjong, who was also quite fashionable, weren't over the moon about that potential decision either. Maybe if it was closer to Christmas time, it would have been okay, but it wasn't. 

And just thinking about what Sungyeol would wear, Myungsoo definitely didn't want to embarrass him or make him think that he didn't care about their date. Even though his excitement should have been more than enough to disprove the latter. While the former was something that he couldn't really control as his father wasn't one to give him much money, especially for quality items like clothes. And with Myungsoo not having a job either due to him not being unable to speak and his father forcing him to maintain perfect grades while in school, Myungsoo didn't have much money of his own either... He usually worried about the money that he had in general, and every purchase that he would make, Myungsoo was always a lot more concerned about eating and transportation than buying items that he didn't really need. Even the books that he loved to read, he usually bought from second-hand stores or just borrowed from the library because they were cheap or free. 

However, when Myungsoo had thought about how happy Sungyeol would be if he showed up to their date in something nice, something that wouldn't embarrass him, he thought that he could justify the purchase. So it wasn't long before Myungsoo had decided to do a little shopping, only for Zitao and Sungjong to come along as well. The latter surprising him with his decision, that Myungsoo couldn't help but feel touched when Sungjong had mentioned that he had wanted to hang out with Myungsoo for a little bit that evening. Sungjong truly wanting to be friends with him, instead of just being nice because he was dating one of his friends. While Tao had various reasons to go, but was ultimately there because he wanted to help Myungsoo choose some clothes that would fit the occasion as it hadn't taken them long to realize that Myungsoo didn't have much fashion sense. Even if the two could admit that Myungsoo would be a cute sight during Christmas time with the festive sweaters that he had. 

Once the two had seen a couple of the thrift stores that Myungsoo had wanted to go to, neither of the two realizing that those thrifts stores were really the only thing that Myungsoo could afford, at least on the slim budget that he had, they couldn't help but persuade him to go to the mall instead. And Myungsoo having been too embarrassed to tell them that he didn't have the funds to actually buy much, let alone the brands that they were thinking of showing him, had found himself going along anyway. Myungsoo not wanting to rock the boat, especially since the two had literally lit up as soon as they had started their trek throughout the mall, had quickly resigned himself to his decision.

That never stopped him from biting his lips in worry a good portion of the time though, because everything that they were looking at was way too much for him. So much so, that he couldn't help but constantly think about how many lunches that he would have to miss or how he would have to walk to school for at least half a year at some of the things that Tao and Sungjong would show him. Some of which had easily exceeded a hundred dollars, Myungsoo barely noticed how hard he was biting his lips until he had tasted blood.  

And as nice as Sungyeol was when it had came to giving him a ride for the past couple of days while his injuries healed, his father letting him off the hook for a bit while being lucky enough to just have sprained his ankle instead of actually fracturing it like the nurse had feared, Myungsoo didn't feel comfortable enough asking Sungyeol to continue giving him a ride after he was fully healed. Especially since Myungsoo didn't want to take advantage of Sungyeol and his kindness when Myungsoo could easily just go back to riding the bus or walking home when he would need to. While it was possible for Myungsoo to give the other money for gas, Myungsoo knew that he would have to go without lunch for much longer than he would making himself walk home. 

It was a problem, and it had taken all of Myungsoo's strength to not excuse himself to hyperventilate in a nearby bathroom stall. The short moments that he had received to change into different outfits had given him enough alone time to constantly calm himself down, but they weren't the best either. Because as much as he had needed that alone time, not wanting to burden the others with how he had felt, never mind making them feel bad, or heaven forbid, embarrassing them with his money problems, Myungsoo had been able to keep it together. Sure his eyes looked a bit red from time to time, but that was easily explainable with how some of the stores had smelled.  

However, after an hour of walking around with everyone finding things that they had liked, Myungsoo unable to stop himself from feeling a bit ill at the shirts that were in his hand. Even if they were quite a bit much cheaper than some of the things that the other two were getting, they were still very expensive. And as nice as they were, Myungsoo couldn't help but second guess himself when it had come to his decision. The shirts being a lot heavier than they had looked in his hands, almost as if they were physically matching the weight of his worries, it had been a small torture to wait for the cashier to ring up Tao before getting to him.

But what Myungsoo hadn't been prepared for was for Tao to wave one of his father's credit cards around, telling them that he'd be buying all of their things as a way to celebrate their first time shopping together. Something of which had surprised Myungsoo because how could someone he barely know, even if they were friends, decide such things? He also couldn't help but splutter at the thought of the other wanting to buy him something so nice.

But when Myungsoo had told him that he could buy his own things, Tao had been quick to tell him to forget about it. Because for Tao, who knew that Myungsoo wasn't going to take advantage of his wealth like some people would do once they had found out how much his credit limits were, he couldn't help but want to treat the other boy. Because as much as he wasn't sold on Sungyeol just yet, he knew that Myungsoo really liked the other boy and had wanted to impress him, and having some nice clothes was an easy way to do that. And if Myungsoo wanted to repay the favor, he could just buy him a bubble tea if he wanted to. Which Myungsoo had done, but it still didn't stop him from feeling a bit awkward about receiving such a nice gift, even if he had been more than a bit happy at how kind his friends had been to him so far.

He had truly been touched by it all.  Especially since he had never thought anything like that would ever happen to him. 

Even now, looking at the shirts in front of him, Myungsoo couldn't help but feel a small smile bloom across his face, happiness rushing through him at the thought of his friends giving him those things, the feeling didn't last for long. Because pre-date jitters were also quite rampant and Myungsoo couldn't stop himself from thinking about everything that he could mess up since a lot of things could easily go wrong, even if Myungsoo wouldn't mean to do such things. And with the thought of messing something as simple as a date up, he also didn't want to let his friends' kindness go to waste either. His friends had bought him these clothes and it was only fair for him to make sure the two of them had a good time and that he didn't embarrass Sungyeol or make him angry or sad. 

Shaking his head, trying to dispel such insecurities from making things worse, he quickly put both shirts on. Making sure that his scarred arm was covered up so Sungyeol couldn't see how ugly it was, before he was pulling on his best pair of jeans, it wasn't long before Myungsoo was limping over to the mirror to finish up and give himself a good look. 

Only to frown a little at his reflection, at how different he looked - almost as if he truly looked normal as everything that he had needed to hide was hidden, while actually wearing some clothes that fit his frame instead of hanging off of him like a hanger - he didn't feel as disgusting as he had usually felt when he had looked into the mirror. And while he knew that he was no match for Sungyeol, because not many people were, unless you counted the other boy's friends, Myungsoo felt that he was looking decent enough to not make his soulmate look bad.

Feeling his left arm twinge in pain - a phantom pain - Myungsoo slowly turned away from the mirror with a small, slightly stressed sigh.

Looking at the clock to see what time it was, noticing that he still had about a half hour before Sungyeol was supposed to pick him up, his father at work for the day, Myungsoo quickly wrote the other a note to tell him that he'd be busy with a group project and that he would be back by curfew. Signing the letter with his initial, he was quick to grab his wallet and crutches before he finally made his way to the kitchen. Sticking the note to the fridge, feeling even more nervous, much more than he had been moments ago, Myungsoo could only look at the clock once again.

There were twenty minutes left - the longest twenty minutes of his life. 

xxx

"Okay, just move your hands like this... Then you can knock." Sungyeol softly muttered to himself as he quietly went through the movements for 'Hello.'

It was one of the words that he had learned last night, having practiced it after watching a few videos, having not been patient enough to wait for the books that he had bought. But most of what he had learned had been relatively easy things like 'How are you?' and 'Goodbye,' but it was a decent start. Even if he had found it a bit strange to speak with his hands, but that was something that would change with practice. Especially since he had wanted to do the movements correctly with no mistakes or fumbles, almost as if he had been signing for years. Because if he was going to learn it, he'd learn it well.

He wanted Myungsoo to know that he was serious about learning the language and that he wasn't just saying that he was going to learn it without actually learning it. He wanted to be able to effectively communicate with the other boy since he knew that it would help with understanding the other better. Because going by past experiences and knowing that there were probably going to be more misunderstandings to come, he would need it. Especially since he didn't want to put Myungsoo in a situation that made him think that Sungyeol didn't value his thoughts and opinions enough. He wanted Myungsoo to be comfortable with him and if learning sign language would help him do that, then he'd learn it. So going through the motions a couple of more times, he eventually felt confident enough to ring the doorbell and knock.

Quietly waiting for Myungsoo to come to the door, Sungyeol taking a couple of calming breaths to calm his nerves, he couldn't help but feel a little bit more nervous than usual - a lot more really. And that confused him a bit since this was the first time he had actually felt this way, because every time before that, even during the first couple of dates that he had with others, he hadn't really cared if he messed up or not. Not that he actually did that much since Sungyeol found dating to be fun and was good at handling those that he had dated, but the slight fear he was experiencing now was something that had never worried him. Becaus if he did mess up, then he messed up with someone that wasn't his soulmate, so why should he care? He could easily break up with that person and never see them again, but with his soulmate, he couldn't really do that. And with Myungsoo, who he had done a lot of wrong too already, never mind the fact that it was obvious to him that this would be his soulmate's first date, he couldn't do something like that. He couldn't mess things up, even if the chance to do so was quite small with the all the experience that he had. 

However, it wasn't long before he could hear the sound of the door being unlocked, Myungsoo coming out a couple of seconds later, crutches under his arms as he quickly stepped out of the house. Myungsoo unknowingly giving Sungyeol a good view of his as he locked the door, that Sungyeol couldn't help but subconsciously grin at how nice it was. The other's pants showcasing how cute and slightly plump it was, and Sungyeol had to admit that Myungsoo had the best he had ever seen. And if this was anyone other than Myungsoo, he'd probably would have mentioned that to them and would have had things escalate a bit quicker, first date be damned. However, not wanting to be that guy, he stored those thoughts away for later when Myungsoo was ready.

Seeing Myungsoo turn around to face him again, a nervous smile on his face to show how nervous, yet excited he seemed about their date, Sungyeol couldn't help but find the other looking quite adorable. The sweater and jeans being a good pick, so much so that he'd have to thank the other two later for helping out, because blue was definitely Myungsoo's color and his soulmate just looked really, really good to him. Even if his thinness was a lot more apparent with the different clothes that he was wearing. Because as much as the uniform had made Myungsoo look skinny, Sungyeol had never realized how thin Myungsoo was until he found himself thinking about the other being small. Compared to Dongwoo, who was Sungyeol's shortest friend, Myungsoo may have been a couple of centimeters taller than him, but Dongwoo had never looked or seemed as small as Myungsoo was right now. However, not wanting to ruin the mood, especially since Myungsoo could naturally be that way because he was still doing a little bit of growing since some boys could easily have a couple of growthspurts up until their twenties, Sungyeol decided to ignore that smidgeon of worry until he would actually need it. 

He really didn't need to mention it during their first date at the very least, so giving the other a warm smile instead, eyes crinkling a bit, Sungyeol couldn't help but softly warn, "This may look a bit clumsy, but I just want to show you something before we go, okay... Don't laugh either if I mess up."

Myungsoo nodding at Sungyeol's question, slightly appalled about Sungyeol thinking that he would do that, Myungsoo couldn't help but wave his hands and motion that he wouldn't do such a thing. Only for Sungyeol to give another chuckle and mention "I know, but just watch" once again, Myungsoo was quick to do as he was told.

Quietly watching Sungyeol move his hands in what was the correct way to sign Hello. Something of which no one had really done before as Sungyeol had perfectly executed the word's movements as he did them - Myungsoo almost mesmerized by how nice Sungyeol's hands looked as he signed the simple word - Myungsoo couldn't help but find himself tearing up at the sight. Joy having rushed through him like a flood at the little gesture, Sungyeol once again proving to Myungsoo how good of a guy he was, Myungsoo found himself hastily wiping his eyes to get rid of the tears. His face turning red when he quickly realized how emotional he had gotten, he just hoped that Sungyeol didn't take it the wrong way, because he really was happy and it wouldn't do for Sungyeol to think that he was messing up already.

While Sungyeol could only go on, giving another small laugh, not realizing that Myungsoo had spilled a few tears just yet, "I know it's not much, just a small start, really, but maybe in a couple of months, we'll be able to have some actual conversations... I - I decided that I'm going to learn how to do sign language for you. So this way we can speak to each other a lot easier, this way it's not so one-sided... Are you crying? Did I learn the wrong thing and just horribly offended you, because I truly didn't mean to do that."

Seeing the other shake his head no, while still wiping his eyes, Sungyeol found himself closing the gap between the two. Arms slowly encircling the other in a hug and bringing Myungsoo closer to him, only to cause shock to go through both of them.  Myungsoo completely surprised that Sungyeol was actually hugging him - him, Myungsoo, who hadn't been hugged in years and was someone that usually didn't deserve things like hugs because hugs were for people like Sungyeol and his friends. While Sungyeol was surprised that he had even done such a thing, but once he had seen Myungsoo look the way he did, he couldn't help but want to comfort the other boy. And while Sungyeol wasn't the biggest person to give hugs, it was a little scary how natural it was to do such a thing with his soulmate. Even now, he didn't feel awkward doing it, even though he should have felt that way, but it actually felt like the right thing to do. Like this was something natural.

Bringing Myungsoo a bit closer and hugging him even tighter, but not tight enough to actually hurt him, but enough to show him that he wasn't going anywhere, let alone stopping himself from hugging the other, Sungyeol just quietly waited until Myungsoo relaxed. Only for Myungsoo to return the gesture a moment later as he silently wrapped his hands around the other and sighed a little into Sungyeol's shoulder, the other's warmth completely grounding him. Tears stopping, despite feeling completely touched by everything that Sungyeol had done so far, Myungsoo couldn't help but take a couple of moments to bask in everything that Sungyeol had to offer.

While Sungyeol couldn't help but smile despite the ridiculousness of the situation as he quietly waited it out until he felt like he could finally break away. He found himself unable to stop himself from saying "Needed that." before stepping away from the other and ending the hug. 

Myungsoo not knowing what to do, but knowing that he needed to do something, he quickly grabbed his notebook to scribble: 

Thank you. It really means a lot... So thank you. Thank you. :D

Grinning at the use of the smiley and the way Myungsoo's cheeks had turned even redder when he had noticed it, Sungyeol couldn't help but give a broader, more confident grin - something of which he didn't really need to do, but had easily made him look even more radiant to the other boy. Completely unphased by what he had just done, even though he felt like he could give the other a couple more hugs throughout their date, never mind every time that he would see him, he went on as he was just barely able to remember the other present that he had gotten for the other boy, "And before we go, I also have something else to give you as well. So let's go to the car, alright?"

But... But... I didn't get you anything.

Myungsoo found himself writing, unable to stop himself from doing so when Sungyeol had already given him so much. Especially since the date had barely even started, his hands shook a bit as he showed the other his words. While Sungyeol could only reach out and put a hand on Myungsoo's shoulder, "Soo-ah, no need to worry about it. You have plenty of time to return the favor, it's not a competition, alright?"

Feeling a little better at Sungyeol's words, even if he still felt a little inadequate compared to the other, he gave the other a nod, finally letting the other lead him to his car for their date. It didn't take long for Myungsoo to be once again reminded of how perfect Sungyeol was when it had come to the rest of their night together. Sungyeol paying for everything, insisting that he do so because he was the one to have asked him out, Myungsoo could only do do his best to enjoy everything that the two of them did. Even if that never stopped Myungsoo from feeling the underlying need of having to give the other something back. But tucking those thoughts away as the night continued, mentally making notes here and there of all the things that Sungyeol liked or found fun, the two having a couple of things in common, Myungsoo would eventually return the favor. 

With the night eventually coming to a close and the two of them in front of Myungsoo's house again, Sungyeol softly asking, a couple of candy necklaces still wrapped around his neck from all of the arcade prizes that they had won, he smiled, "Had fun?" 

Nodding as he squeezed the stuffed penguin to his chest, while the cell phone that Sungyeol had given him earlier was tucked away in one of his jean pockets, he signed:

Thank you for everything.

While his heart, unable to stop itself from beating a thousand times a minute in his chest, he couldn't help but find himself thinking: 

I love you... I really, really do. But I don't deserve you... And you don't deserve someone like me... But can I still keep you anyway?

He could only squeeze the stuffed toy a little bit tighter in response.