Silently doing his best to calm his racing heart, one hand pulling at his tie to loosen the suddenly constricting cloth that was wrapped around his throat from choking him, as well as letting himself be able to get at the top button of his uniform shirt, Myungsoo couldn't help but quickly it, relief nowhere to be found. Other hand finding purchase against the bathroom wall, fingers digging painfully into the tile, trying to grasp onto something that would help ground him, he couldn't stop the feeling of fear run its course as it felt like the walls surrounding him were trying to close in on him, trying to suffocate him in the process. Feeling more than a bit too hot, almost as if he had suddenly been overtaken by a fever, he found it hard to focus on anything other than the thoughts of what had happened that day, the constant in and out of his breathing, and the way his body seemed to betray him at every possible second. 

Seeing dark spots spread across his vision while feeling a bit lightheaded and dizzy at the lack of air that was being received by his lungs, he couldn't help but focus most of his energy on trying not to pass out and calm himself down. The thought of doing such a thing so weak made him feel even worse than he already felt, especially since he could clearly imagine what his father would do. Visualizing the man throwing his head back in laughter as he would call him weak and incapable, the man's words like little razor blades that would slice into him so that they could bleed him dry, he couldn't stop the full-body shivers that ran through him. 

But as the thoughts of what had happened that day so far continued to swim around in his head, his mind hyper focused on the way his soulmate had been unable to understand him, how angry the other boy had been at him, and just the way he had been pointed out to his friends, one of them even going so far to laugh and say something about how he didn't even match his soulmate at all, Myungsoo couldn't stop the disgust and anxiety run through him as if it was molten lava. His self-confidence and worth were being shot down for what felt like the hundredth time that day. 

Tattoo still burning along the edges, almost as if someone had taken a red hot poker to his arm, the pain nowhere near as painful as the second and third-degree burns that he had received about two to three years ago. The burns were so bad that he had needed skin grafts to repair part of his arm, only for his arm to still look like a mangled mess of scar tissue and ugly pink skin, while it had taken him weeks to recover from the nasty infection that had followed suit, the tattoo's pain still felt beyond terrible to him. Because unlike the constant mind-numbing throb of a third-degree burn and the painful feeling of skin so burnt that it had actually fused together with his clothes, the hurt associated with the tattoo was much different in the way that it was also affecting his heart. 

His heart was throbbing to the point that it had almost felt as if someone had literally grabbed the organ and was squeezing it over and over again until it was a bruised and bleeding mess of hurt and pain. 

It was like his heart was literally trying to break itself apart and while he never thought he would have had a soulmate in the first place, just the knowledge of finding them and knowing that he wasn't going to go his life without one, it just made things worse. Especially since he hadn't expected for his soulmate to react as he had done, almost as if he was rejecting him in the process, and because he wasn't a good enough soulmate to the other person, despite only knowing him for a few seconds, he was being punished.

And while Myungsoo had never really heard of people experiencing heartbreak from their soulmates or people even rejecting them once they were found since most of them usually ended up marrying them and staying with them until they had died, Myungsoo couldn't help but remember a story that he had read once when he was younger. A story about a young woman that had driven herself mad when here soulmate had prematurely died, only for her to follow him into death a few months later, unable to deal with the loss of having to live alone. Her sorrow and depression so painful that it had caused her to go mad and eventually kill herself, the pain too hard to bare.

A fiction story that he had supposedly thought of to be lies, until his father had changed into a completely different person after the death of his mother, and with how painful and disoriented he was feeling now, he couldn't help but wonder if rejected soulmates felt like that too. And with the thought of scaring off his soulmate so bad that even his friends were making fun of him, he couldn't help but feel nauseous and sick, heart clenching painfully once again.

Feeling bile rise to his throat so fast that he was unable to swallow it back down, he quickly found himself falling to the floor, uniform pants getting dirty from the disgusting bathroom tiles, his hands reached to grip the toiled bowl in front of him while he vomited. His stomach painfully emptied itself in the process. 

Shaking from the effort of puking up what little food that had made it into his stomach that day, it wasn't long before he was dry heaving into the bowl, feeling unbelievably weak and shaky. Throat feeling as if it was on fire due to the painful retching that he was doing, he couldn't help but rub at his throat to alleviate some of the pain, while his face felt hot and wet from the tears that had formed, telling him how pitiful he really was.

Stomach feeling a bit better after the impromptu sicking up that he had just done, he couldn't help but fall to his side, body suddenly sagging from how exhausted he felt, head finding a comfortable position against the wall. Hair uncomfortably damp around his hair line while a sheen of sweat was coating his skin, his mouth and eyes felt uncomfortably swollen. Wondering how much of a mess he looked, uniform dirty from the floor, he couldn't help but let his father's voice seep into his mind, telling him how disgusting he looked and how Kims weren't supposed to look as if they had never washed a day in their lives, image meaning everything to the other man. 

Shakily grabbing some toilet paper to dab at his mouth, the vile taste of bile still caked inside of it, creating a film of filth that covered his teeth and could probably be smelt from more than a few feet away, Myungsoo tiredly cleaned his mouth until all he could taste was toilet paper. Energy almost completely depleted from the simple task, he managed to throw the strip of paper away, before he let himself lay against the wall, staying where he was until he regained enough energy back to get him through the day. At least enough to wash himself up, make it through the rest of his classes, and stumble his way home, hopefully able to grab a twenty minute nap before his father was breathing down his neck and yelling at him to make dinner and finish the rest of his chores. 

Wondering if he had enough for bus fair, mind doing it's best to focus on that one small thing instead of the pain and the depression that he felt from thinking about his soulmate or the way his tattoo still burned, he was luckily able to breathe a little better than he had been able to do before. Counting himself lucky for that, he eventually found himself unsteadily reaching behind himself to grab his wallet, pulling it from the back pocket of his pants, before he was silently looking through the folds of it.

Finding nothing but his ID and a few coins at first, he quietly opened his wallet as far as it could go before he was shaking it upside down and onto the floor. Seeing a crumpled 1000 won bill fall from the black, cheap wallet, he almost wanted to cry in relief at the sight. 

Feeling slightly giddy from the small success, at being able to take a bus home instead of having to walk the two miles that it usually was, he was able to find just enough energy to push himself up to lean heavily against the wall. Hands still shaking from what had happened, but body feeling slightly energized at not having to walk home, he managed to reach out with his foot to push the tank lever of the toilet down and turn his attention to the door of the stall. Hearing the resounding flush of the toilet as he unlocked the lock and stumbled his way out of the confined space to the open area of the bathroom, he quietly made his way to one of the sinks in front of him, glad to see no one else around.

Washing his hands with hot water, skin almost turning red from the temperature of the water, he quickly diverted his attention to rinsing his mouth out until it was significantly cleaner and the taste of bile and toilet paper were gone. 

Barely able to avoid looking at his reflection as he quietly cleaned himself up, it wasn't until he was buttoning up his shirt and re-tightening his tie did he finally give himself a good look in the mirror. Seeing pale skin, a red, swollen mouth, and pink, puffy looking eyes stare back at him, showing how wrecked he still was, he couldn't help but turn away, random but terrible thoughts going through his mind. 

It was no wonder that his soulmate's friend said that he wasn't the other's type. 

Because looking at his reflection, he wasn't beautiful or good looking like his soulmate was, and with how handsome the other looked, despite not wearing the uniform the correct way, he couldn't help but feel gross and disgusting compared to the other with his crumpled, dirty uniform and puffy face.

Ears almost twitching at the sound of someone opening the door to the bathroom, the sound interrupting him from doing anymore thinking on the matter, Myungsoo quickly turned his attention away from the mirror, head down as he looked at the floor, before he was walking out of the bathroom and awkwardly pushing past the person in front of him, unable to say sorry when he had almost tripped over the other's shoe. But not wanting to stay any longer than he needed to, he quickly ran down the hall, the sudden need to get to his next class running through his mind.

Myungsoo never did notice the other boy's eyebrows furrow in concern at his rushed exit, wondering why he had looked so spooked, but instead of doing what other students would have done, brushing Myungsoo's reaction off as something that they didn't need to care about, he couldn't help but become intrigued. 

It was safe to say that they would probably meet again.

∞

Unable to keep himself from sighing and threading his hand through his hair in annoyance, a bit angry at himself for what he had done earlier that day, especially to someone that was most likely his soulmate, Sungyeol wasn't exactly happy with himself at how he had handled things when it came to Kim Myungsoo. 

And while he knew that he could be quite the idiot sometimes, he had never really thought that he would have been so stupid to not even realize who his soulmate was and essentially miss all the signs that told him that fact. And looking at his tattoo, which was still hot to the touch and burned something fierce, hurting every time he moved his arm, his body was punishing him for being the that he was.

Good thing too since he had been quite the right to the younger boy, acting as if the other had been a piece of gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe instead of the human being that he was. He had assumed the other boy had been playing games on him, trying to make him pissed by ignoring his words and acting as if he was above him, staring at him as if that was all he could do, when that's really all he could do, Sungyeol felt like . 

Especially since the other boy couldn't speak, couldn't say anything to him if he had even wanted to, and Sungyeol just totally didn't understand that.

The arm movements weren't because Myungsoo was being stupid and trying to mock him, but was doing it because it was his way of speaking, his way of trying to communicate with him, with people, and despite Sungyeol knowing jack about sign language, he couldn't help but want to hit himself for being so obtuse about something that should have been quite obvious to him.

He was pretty sure a monkey could have picked up on it, but instead of trying to understand why Myungsoo had acted the way he had done, he had made it about him, and ended up reacting pretty badly to the situation instead. He had let his annoyance and general displeasure of freshmen sway his thinking and make him less tolerant and impatient to those that were part of that year, and Myungsoo, who was just a shy freshman that seemed to really enjoy books since it seemed like he enjoyed being in the library and all, Sungyeol had been quite the to him.

And even if Myungsoo wasn't his soulmate, despite most of the signs pointing to yes, Sungyeol didn't really want to think of anyone else being it, since he would have no clue where to look and he didn't really fancy letting people know how bad he had screwed up. Never mind the fact that he needed to make it up to the younger boy and at least apologize for his gross behavior, before he could even do something like check Myungsoo's tattoo and see if he was experiencing the same things that he was experiencing. 

He would obviously have to apologize for that too, because if they were soulmates, then he should have realized it when they had met, rather than force the younger into experiencing pain when he didn't need to be. Or make him feel undesirable and unwanted because Sungyeol was too stupid to notice that they were soulmates earlier.

Sungyeol may have been an , but he didn't really like hurting people if he didn't have to. He may only really care about his friends, but it wasn't like he went out of the way to hurt others and take joy in something like that either. 

He was a teenager, an idiotic teenager at that, and he really just needed to fix things.

So continuing to wait quietly outside, ignoring some of his fangirls as he waited for the younger boy to come out, hoping that he wouldn't make him wait much longer, he couldn't help but smile in relief when he noticed the other come out of the school. Only to frown a little at how tired the other looked, subconsciously taking in the pale color of his face and how sluggish he moved. He didn't really look that great and Sungyeol couldn't help but feel guilt go through him at the sight of him. 

It was obvious that something wasn't right and the likelihood of it being due to Sungyeol instead of someone else was pretty much a hundred percent that Sungyeol knew that he needed to fix things before they got any worse.

Sungjong and the others were counting on him to at least make things right, even if the two weren't soulmates, that Sungyeol was quick to find himself stepping away from his hiding spot and following Myungsoo to what looked like a nearby bus stop.

Quickening his pace until he was running, it didn't take long for Sungyeol to catch up to the other and situate his body until it was in front of him, cutting him off so that he could actually speak to him and apologize for what he had done earlier. That he didn't expect the younger to jump at the sight of him and take a step back, suddenly scared of what he had to say or what he was even going to do, he couldn't help but hear Sunggyu's voice loud and clear in his mind. The other boy asking him what the hell he had done to make the other so frightened, that when Sungyeol tried to reach out and say something, to show the other he meant no harm, Myungsoo could only look at him as if he was some type of caged animal that only wanted to escape. 

Feeling his heart painfully clench at the sight of Myungsoo doing his best to look even smaller than he already was, uniform showing off how slender his body looked, shoulders hunched over and body twisted in such a way that it looked uncomfortable, possibly even painful to be in, Sungyeol almost chickened out to let the other boy go home instead that he barely managed to mutter a "S-sorry, I-I'm sorry for earlier" before he was looking at the ground in shame, his ears turned a nice shade of pink. 

Sungyeol wasn't one to apologize for much, unless it was to his small group of friends, his coach, or his family, that when he had to say something to what was a mere stranger, despite the possibility of them being something more, it was beyond awkward.

However, despite that feeling though, he felt a tad bit better, but when he looked up a couple of seconds later to see how Myungsoo had taken it, he wasn't prepared for the other's shocked expression, almost as if the other hadn't thought he deserved it or didn't expect to get it at the very least that Sungyeol couldn't help but feel a bit cold at such at thought. And even when Myungsoo began signing something to him, not realizing that he couldn't understand or had accidentally forgot that he still didn't speak sign language, Sungyeol was at least able to grasp enough of what the boy was trying to tell him. Reading the emotions that crossed the other's face, he was able to understand that Myungsoo was quite grateful for the apology and seemed to be relatively okay with what he had done.

But unable to understand anything else of what the other was telling him, only for his mind somehow to start drifting back to his tattoo and how much it was hurting and how he still needed to see if Myungsoo's tattoo was the same as his, wondering if Myungsoo was hurting just as much, it didn't take long for him to put his hand up and cut the other off. Only so that he could ask the question that had been bugging him since lunch, especially since he still needed to see if they were soulmates or not, to show him that it was indeed true and that his soulmate was Myungsoo instead of some kid he had ran into this morning while he had been trying to get away from Woohyun, he quietly gave, "Sorry for interrupting Myungsoo-ssi, but can I - um... This may be a dumb question, but can I look at your tattoo. I just need to see if it looks the same as mine. I just want to make sure we're - uh, that we're soulmates, okay?"

Pulling up his sleeve just enough to show off his red and puffy tattoo, while still keeping it hidden enough from some nosy onlookers, he silently hoped that Myungsoo would get the hint and show him his tattoo as well. But instead of Myungsoo doing anything like that, the boy had quickly closed himself off instead, suddenly looking like he wanted to be anywhere but there, nervous tension and anxiety written plain as day across his face. Right arm holding onto his left arm to the point that Sungyeol was sure that the other had to have been in pain, especially with how tight Myungsoo seemed to be holding onto it, he couldn't help but reach out with one of his arms, only for Myungsoo to suddenly take step back and situate his body almost sideways to keep the arm away from him.

Protecting himself. 

"I-I..." 

Voice quickly dying at the way Myungsoo was shaking his head, almost as if he was telling him that he didn't want to hear what he had to say, didn't want to show him his tattoo, Sungyeol couldn't help but feel a little confused and angry at that, wondering why the other wouldn't let him see it, why he was acting this way when all he had done was ask an innocent question.

All he needed to do was check to see if his tattoo was red, puffy, and said something about him asking if he had needed any help, or if it was any combination of those things, then that was more than enough to tell him that he was in fact his soulmate and that he didn't have to second guess himself on how true that information was, despite their being little evidence otherwise.

He just wanted to know if Myungsoo was one hundred percent the one and the easiest way to do that was for him to see the tattoo and while he knew that Myungsoo couldn't speak, to tell him in words that they were indeed soulmates, the tattoo would be all the proof that he needed.

But before he could even open his mouth to say anything else, Myungsoo was suddenly walking away from him, skittish and trying to keep as much distance between him and the road. Only for Myungsoo to somehow get around him with an ease he didn't expect the other to have, still looking scared and nervous about what Sungyeol had just asked, that it wasn't until Myungsoo was quickly bowing to him, almost apologizing for not being able to show what little ink he had, did he finally witness the other bolt.

Unable to bring it to himself to follow him just yet, Sungyeol quickly found himself giving a somewhat annoyed sigh instead.

Arm still hurting, but slightly less than it had been doing before, Sungyeol quickly decided that he could live with the pain for the night and that he would just corner the younger boy and talk to the him tomorrow, intending to get the answers that he needed, setting things straight.

Feeling his cell phone vibrate against his thigh, he grabbed the small machine out of his pocket and pressed the call button, clearly able to make out Woohyun's overly cheerful voice, asking him how it had went, that Sungyeol couldn't help but angrily flush before ending the call, not wanting to deal with his friend right now. 

Looking at his watch, he could only sigh at the time; it was barely five o'clock and yet, he had aged like ten years in the span of a day.  

[ A/N ] : I apologize for the long wait, had to finish up some finals for my summer classes, but here is chapter four and I hope you guys liked it. And hopefully you guys aren't too upset by how slow the relationship is going, or lack of it so far, but this story will have a bit of a slow burn romance to it and I don't want to rush anything just yet, so hopefully you guys can understand. But that doesn't mean that there is going to be a lack of progress in this fic, especially since the next chapter should really get things rolling a bit more, but character development needs to happen before Sungyeol and Myungsoo will want to get into each other's pants. Until then, there is going to be a bit more exploration on some other things that you guys will find out as you read. Thanks for all the support and like always, comments are much appreciated.