"Alright class, make sure you read chapters 11-12 by tomorrow and have the corresponding worksheets finished by Friday. And if you have any questions throughout the next couple of days, do not hesitate to the ask them, especially since these next two chapters are a bit more difficult than what we have previously learned, okay? But other than that, I'll see you guys tomorrow, so have a good day." 

Myungsoo heard their teacher conclude while he jotted down the assignment in his green and black, school issued planner. The small book a bit of a life line to him, even though most of the students didn't even use the planner to begin with or had much more vibrant and expensive ones that Myungsoo couldn't afford. 

The thought of just having one would have easily cost Myungsoo at least a month or so of lunches. Something of which Myungsoo couldn't do, even if he had wanted something a bit nicer at times. Because being able to eat at lunch time, despite how painfully small they were, was better than nothing. His genes usually doing nothing to keep him satisfied when it came to food that he did get to eat, even if his father had enough money to give him at least another 2000-3000 won to last him through the week. But his father was stingy and he hated wasting money, even if it was for his son, so it was better if Myungsoo just continued using the planner that he had received. Especially since the school issued one was relatively fine to use as long as you took care of it.  

Eventually closing the book, it didn't take long for him to notice that Tao had been waiting for him. The taller boy giving him a small smile when he noticed, his things already packed and ready to go. The boy looking quite cool in his brand new uniform, his hair so white that it had looked silver, and if he moved his head just so, Myungsoo could even make out some pinyin that was tattooed behind his ear. Something that Myungsoo couldn't really understand, but it had made him look even cooler, especially with the numerous earrings that lined his ears.

But even so, Myungsoo couldn't help but wonder why the other boy was following him of all people. Especially when there were plenty of other students in the room that were much prettier, cooler, and smarter than him, that it didn't really make sense. However, ever since the other had introduced himself to him that day, talking to him whenever they had a free moment, it seemed as if the boy didn't care that Myungsoo wasn't cool in the slightest. The taller boy seeming to prefer his company over the few people that had tried to talk to him earlier, only for Tao to turn them down. It was quite odd and Myungsoo didn't know what to take from it, but he knew that he was happy in ways that he had never been before. 

Because not only had he met his soulmate that week, but he had also made his friend in what was years. And he couldn't help but feel amazing because of it, even if the back pain that he had been experiencing that morning was doing it's best to tarnish those feelings. The pain hurting him something fierce, making him feel stiffer than usual, it was almost diminished whenever Tao talked to him or gave him a smile. The happiness that he was feeling had kept his mind from dwelling on the pain, so much so that Myungsoo couldn't help but smile too. 

Hearing Tao groan as the two of them walked out of the room, their teacher nowhere in sight, Tao let out:

"Myungsoo, please... Please don't tell me you like the last two classes, because they were torture I tell you, torture! I swear, calculus and chemistry will be the death of me and it's barely even been a day!"

But calculus isn't that bad, it's actually quite fun. And Ms. Lee's really nice and she teaches well. She can be really helpful too! So it's really not that bad, at least not to me. 

Myungsoo quickly replied, only for Tao to moan, "But Myungsoo~ It was so terrible that I could barely understand it. How can you even say such things? Integrals are completely evil, I tell you, evil!" 

Unable to stop himself from laughing, at how ridiculous Tao was being, Myungsoo couldn't help but sign: They're pretty easy to me. You probably just have to do some practice, because most of the rules are easy to follow and understand once you know what to do. 

Shaking his head, still thinking that the other boy was crazy for liking such a thing, he quickly went on, "I still think it's crazy, but don't be surprised if I go to you for help sometime. Especially since you seem to get it and I need a good study buddy. My folks would hate it if my grades went down... But please don't tell me that you like chemistry as well, because if you do, I may not be able to be your friend anymore. Because that's even more evil than calculus, you know."

Freezing at the sudden use of the other's word choice, Myungsoo's mind literally going blank at what Tao had been saying about how they couldn't be friends if he had liked chemistry, his hand couldn't help but stop at the edge of his locker. The appendage unable to put in his lock combination to open it, he felt his heart sink to the bottom of his stomach while his mouth tasted as if he had just recently ate something disgusting. He almost sighed in relief when Tao was quick to laugh, the boy rethinking his words, feeling as if he had been a little too harsh with his joke, at least in terms of how long they had known each other, he said, "Nevermind, you're too cute to stay mad at and not be friends with. And who else is going to be my study buddy and tell me what I need to know, especially when your notes look like a thousand bucks!"

Not knowing what to say, especially after that little scare, he was quick to let Tao continue his speaking, only for the other to ask the same questions again, the other's voice inquisitive as he spoke, "But for real, do you like chemistry? Are there any classes you don't like? Do you like our next class?"

Fingers slowly turning the lock until he had heard a soft click, cheeks completely pink at the word 'cute' and how nonchalant Tao had been when he had said it, Myungsoo was finally able to open the locker door. The thought of Tao actually believing that Myungsoo was cute, something of which hadn't happened in years. The last time being when his mother had told him that before she had passed away, Myungsoo couldn't help but feel odd. Especially with the way he had looked underneath the school uniform. 

His body was way too skinny to be attractive, while his torso and back were quite scarred from some of the beatings that he had taken throughout the years. His father's belt buckle imprinted into his skin from how hard the older man would beat him with it. So hard sometimes that he would have to be extremely careful with his body for the next couple of days because of the possibility of reopening wounds and having them become infected because he couldn't always treat them correctly. His hands unable to reach some of the parts on his back that he'd just have to hope that a shower would be enough to clean the deeper of cuts out.   

And even then, his arm was in much worse shape than anything else and it was just so disgusting looking that Myungsoo couldn't help but feel self-conscious about it. So much so that Myungsoo was sure that Tao and everyone else would have a much different opinion if they had truly known what Myungsoo looked like beneath his clothes. Tao would probably not even want to be his friend anymore because of those things as well. Especially since it looked as if he had stepped out of a horror movie at times and with so many people priding beauty over everything else, Myungsoo wasn't sure of anything.

Because who was to say that Tao was the type of person that would hang around once he had gotten tired of him? Who was to say that Tao wouldn't just go up to him a few days from now and tell him that he didn't want to hang out with him anymore and that he had found someone better? Who was to say that he was even worth any of Tao's affections and once he had gotten to know Myungsoo a bit better, that he'd even want to be friends?  

Myungsoo didn't know, and as much as Myungsoo was in awe at the other for introducing himself and was grateful to the other for sticking around so far, Myungsoo couldn't help but suddenly become depressed. Especially when it came to something like this. All of the things that had been happening to him these past couple of days had literally been too good to be true and something had to give. Because people like him didn't deserve soulmates like Sungyeol or friends like Tao or anything like that.

And if his father was here, he'd tell him the same, no matter how much it hurt Myungsoo as he did so. The man's words like daggers and drops of acid, able to chip and cut away all of Myungoso's defenses with a proficiency that not even the students, teachers, or anyone else was able to do. His father constantly telling him how worthless, stupid, and unlovable he was that he wasn't even sure if Myungsoo had any redeeming qualities about him at all. And any goodness that he had had been stripped away many years ago when his mother had passed away, leaving the two of them to fend for themselves. His father turning on him due to the pain and hurt that he had felt at the passing, and every word, task, and beating was a way to make him better, even if better was so far away that it was probably impossible to achieve. 

What was even worse was that Myungsoo didn't even know if his mother was proud of him, because just looking at himself and knowing how his father was with him, he couldn't help but feel as if she wasn't. Even if everything that he did was a way to make him better, a way to make his father proud and love him how he used to love him. The things he did, taking great care to do them the right way and give the results that his father expected of him, was just a way to make him the person that could actually deserve to have the friends, the people in his life, that he so desperately wanted.  

His father was just trying to make him a better person, but why was it so painful to do such a thing?

Why - no, he couldn't think like that, could never think like that, because he deserved and needed it.    

"-Soo? Myungsoo? Earth to Myungsoo, are you ever going to answer my questions? Hello~, are you even in there? You're totally spacing out and did you even hear my questions?"

Feeling Tao place his hands on his shoulders, the other's hands so big that Myungsoo couldn't help but flinch and twist himself away from the other's touch. He could only gasp from the pain when he had felt his back ram right into the side of the locker, the sharp end of the lock digging painfully into his lower back. So painful that it felt as if someone had taken a lighter and lit his uniform on fire so that his clothes would burn him, that he couldn't help but let the gym clothes that he had grabbed to fall to the ground in surprise. His eyes going wide with fear and agony, the brown orbs glazed over because of how painful that move was, that Myungsoo didn't even realize that it wasn't his father that had touched him, but his friend who was just trying to wake him up from this thoughts.  

His ears turned completely red as shame rippled through him like a bullet. He couldn't believe that he had reacted like that, that he had allowed himself to get so lost in his head that he had freaked out. And in front of Tao no less!

He didn't know what to do and when Tao's voice turned quite worried, the boy unable to keep himself from asking, "Are you all right? Are you okay? It sounded like you had hit your back pretty hard. Did you end up hurting yourself? Are you in pain? Do you need to go to the nurse's office?" 

But seeing how worried the other was, Myungsoo could only shake his head at the other's questions. His breath coming out in painful gasps, while his hair shielded his eyes, as he eventually found the energy to motion to Tao that he was okay and that he had just needed a moment because Tao had just surprised him and that he hadn't expected to space out like he did. Motioning to him that he wasn't hurt and that he was fine, even though he felt so terrible that he probably should have been crying from the pain, he just managed to bite his lip hard enough from doing so. The taste of blood filling his mouth as he moved to go pick up his clothes, brow sweating from the exertion that it took to do that, he was lucky that his hair managed to look pristine despite the sweat. 

Myungsoo just hoped that Tao believed him and that he hadn't noticed how bad things actually were. 

Because if he did, Myungsoo wouldn't be able to take it, especially if it resulted in him losing a friend. So doing his best to show a strong image, Myungsoo could only lift his head high enough to give the other a small, toothless smile.

While Tao could only look at the other boy in confusion, worry lacing it's way across his features, as he went to open his mouth, only for the school bell to ring, interrupting the two and telling them that they were going to be late.  Panicking at that thought, Myungsoo could only sign to the other while he ignored how much his body protested in pain, he said: 

We should probably go, alright? Let's run, yeah?

Nodding in agreement, even if Tao didn't really want to agree, especially after what had just happened, he couldn't help but frown when Myungsoo had started to sprint down the hall, running towards the direction of the gym. Joining him, it didn't take long for Tao to feel like he should change his tune, at least about Myungsoo being hurt. Because when Myungsoo had continued to run as he did, looking absolutely fine as he did so, Tao unable to notice anything wrong with the other despite everything that had happened moments before, it was hard to feel worried. Especially when the boy ran so fast that Tao was sure that the other had to be on the track team or something of the like, that it truly seemed as if nothing was wrong. 

But even so, there was something nagging him at the back of his mind.

He's the boy from the bathroom, the boy that locked himself away to cry by himself, almost as if he couldn't- no, wouldn't allow himself to do it anywhere else...

And just knowing that, Tao knew he shouldn't let things go, his instincts literally telling him not to. But knowing that he didn't have any right to put his nose in someone's business just yet, especially since he had barely known the other boy and that he truly could be seeing something that wasn't even there, reading too much into things. He knew he couldn't trust whatever he was seeing and feeling at the moment, because he truly didn't know Myungsoo and how he actually worked just yet. He decided to leave things as they were, but if anything like that had happened again, then Tao would go and forgo any type of social etiquette to get to the bottom of things. 

While Myungsoo, who managed to get Tao and himself into the gym locker room without being seen by the teacher, couldn't help but silently cry out as he was able to get himself into one of the bathroom stalls to change his clothes. The feeling of doing something that he shouldn't have done was fresh and powerful in his mind, that he couldn't help but feel like he had ed up and that he needed to make sure that what had just happened didn't happen again. Mentally vowing to himself to never get that way in front of anyone, no matter how much agony his body was in, he told himself to man up and show a strong image, to always do such a thing, even if he didn't want to. Because if anything like what had just happened managed to happen again, it would only cause more harm than good, and he definitely didn't want that. 

Because what his father was doing to him wasn't wrong, but he also didn't want others to claim that it was right either. Because as much as he had allowed his father to do what he did, fearful of what the man could do, he also didn't want the people he managed to befriend and love, know how terrible he actually was. Maybe even approve of what was happening to him, only for the sake that he wouldn't tarnish them anymore than what he was already doing. Myungsoo quite selfish in the fact that while he wanted - no, needed people, he also knew that he didn't deserve them either. And the only way to keep them was to fix himself and be the person that they wanted and needed him to be. There was no other choice.