They were all on board with helping Jinyoung get over his anxiety, supplying soft touches as they went through their day and taking steps back when he let them know it was too much.  In the beginning it wasn't long, but as the weeks went by he had to ask them to stop less and less.  Jackson was particularly devoted to the endeavor and he was always pulling Jinyoung into loose embraces during practice and even more at home.

Jackson wasn't talking to him much, but he was around a lot, and Jinyoung didn't want to push him, so he tried not to ask any questions.  It was just that he knew Jackson wasn't entirely over the fact that he'd been added last and he definitely wasn't over the fact it had been his actions that had caused Jinyoung's flashback.

Technically, Jackson's behavior hadn't changed much, he was still randomly working Jinyoung up until he was embarrassingly hard and then leaving him, but it had lost the teasing fun and gained a weird businesslike quality that left Jinyoung uneasy.

The next time that Jackson got a hold of Jinyoung they were watching a movie.  Cuddling up under a blanket on the couch ended up serving as the perfect cover for Jackson’s hands teasing along Jinyoung’s thighs and up his chest to brush against his s. Jackson had obviously been impressed with him, while Bambam was still awake on the floor beside the couch Jinyoung didn’t make a sound, and barely moved besides the rise of his beside Jackson’s hand.

When the movie ended Jackson was gone before the credits even really got going, and Jinyoung pulled the blankets up over his head, trying to pretend that he wasn’t too hot to even be under them.  A couple minutes later Jaebum walked by and sighed softly, calling out to Mark to help him get Jinyoung and Bambam both into bed.  

He peeked out of his blankets in time to see Jaebum wrestling the long limbed boy into his arms to drag him back to his room, his vision obstructed by Mark’s smiling face.

“Not quite asleep Jirongie?”

Jinyoung shook his head, “No, d-don’t hurt your back, I can walk.”

When Jinyoung didn’t move to get up, Mark leaned in, running his fingers through his hair to fix it from being under the blanket, “Not ready to sleep?”

Jinyoung blushed slightly and shrugged, not particularly wanting to get up and have Mark see his fading .

Mark leaned in further to hook his arms under Jinyoung’s armpits, and as he pulled him up his lips landed near his ear, “Did Jackson happen to be watching the movie with you?”

Jinyoung flushed brighter, then hissed softly as Mark pulled their hips together, “Y-yeah…”

“I was wondering why he ran into the room like that…  Would you like some help?” he asked, squeezing Jinyoung’s hips.

“Yeah,” he breathed softly, his lips as he glanced up at Mark.

“Would you like me to be the one helping?”

Mark asked about like he asked about any activity, like it was just something fun that they did together.  You want to shoot some hoops, you want to have , you want to watch a movie?  They were all asked in the same innocent tone and Jinyoung couldn’t ever be 100% sure what he was agreeing to unless Mark said the specified activity in the question, regardless a wide smile slid across his lips.  “Yes, Hyung, I’d like you to help,” he chuckled, leaning in to give Mark a soft kiss.

Mark grinned against his lips and reached down to squeeze Jinyoung’s , urging his legs up around his waist.

Jinyoung complied without thinking, his arms wrapping around Mark’s shoulders.  It wasn’t until Mark was setting him onto his bedmat that he remembered why he hadn’t let Mark pick him up to head into the bedroom earlier, “Your back!”

Mark laughed and waved Jinyoung off, dropping down after him onto the bed, “I’m fine Jinyoungie.”

The younger pouted and sat up, moving to the side and pushing Mark down onto the bed, “Then you lay down,” he compromised.

Mark laughed again and lay down to appease the younger man, “You going to let me relax then…?”

Jinyoung nodded and grinned as he leaned in to kiss him soundly.  

When the kissing started to devolve into grinding with their lips pressed together Mark pulled back.  "Hey Jinyoungie, can I get Jackson?"

Jinyoung blinked a little, the question catching him off guard, "What?"

"Can Jackson come in?"

"L-like d-during?"

"Well just- can he?"

Jinyoung's cheeks flushed a bright pink, "I don't think he'll want to, but I mean I guess... O-okay."

Mark tugged his phone out of his pocket and started texting as his hand rubbed over Jinyoung's thigh, "You two need to talk."

The younger slid off of Mark's lap, suddenly nervous and self conscious over Jackson's impending arrival.  Talking was an entirely different animal than what he had been gearing himself up for here, and if Mark thought they needed to talk then it meant Jinyoung's fears weren't all in his head: there was something to worry about.  When Jackson did actually huff through the door Jinyoung couldn't look up at him.

"Do you want to have him first or can I?"

Jinyoung's gaze flew to the side of Mark's face, stunned into silence for a moment, but before he could collect himself to reply Jackson beat him to it.

"What the Mark, you can't talk about him like that, it's /Jinyoung/," Jackson hissed, taking a step closer.

Mark grinned a little, "Ah, did you remember that finally?"

Jackson's anger seemed to fizzle as his eyes flickered to Jinyoung, then guilt settled over them and he sat down next to the bedmat, ", I'm sorry Jinyoung..."

Jinyoung looked back and forth between the two of them uncertainly, "W-what...?"

"Sorry I said that, Jinyoung, you know I would never talk that way about you, right?" Mark asked, running his fingers through the younger's hair.

"U-uh, I was quite surprised, yeah..."

"This however," he gestured between Jackson and Jinyoung quickly, "I did rudely spring on you, so I'll say sorry for that later," he grinned a little and dropped a kiss on Jinyoung's lips before he left the room, closing the door behind himself.

Jinyoung stared after him in confusion, shifting uncomfortably when he remembered his fading .

"Jinyoung... I'm so sorry," Jackson whispered.

"I'm not up to speed," Jinyoung mumbled back, "Why are you apologizing?"

"I haven't been treating you right," Jackson admitted, scooting closer to take a hold of Jinyoung's hand.

"You were just trying to help me get over-"

"Stop, don't rationalize it. Don't spin it, Jinyoung, you don't have to lie to me."

Jinyoung blushed at being caught, squirming some, "Jackson..."

"I've been forgetting that you're my friend first..." Jackson sighed.

"N-not /first/, Jackson. Just... We are what we are. Don't force yourself... If you don't want to do that just don't," Jinyoung sighed softly.  

Jackson nodded, "You're right... I'm sorry."

"If you don't /want/ to touch me what makes you think I want you touching me?" Jinyoung asked, a twinge of his annoyance showing, "I don't want attention like that... I want to be comfortable with you again."

Jackson nodded again and squeezed Jinyoung's hand, “You're right.”

“I know- I know I changed it and I’m sorry-” Jinyoung was cut off by a hand over his mouth and Jackson’s fiery glare.

“Don’t you dare take the blame for this,” Jackson warned.

“W-well no, but I just-”

“Stop.”

Jinyoung deflated and sat next to him quietly, staring at his lap.

Jackson was quiet for a moment too, his hands finding Jinyoung's knees as he leaned in again, “Jinyoung?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I still touch you…?”

Jinyoung could feel a blush rising to his cheeks even if he didn't want it there, “If you want to, I said,” he answered stubbornly.

“I want to, so, I’m asking again, is it okay with you if I do?”

Jinyoung tried to settle his anger but he couldn't, “Don't leave me,” he demanded.

Jackson stared for a moment before he sputtered, “Of course I won’t…”

“No, when you touch me… Don't leave me,” Jinyoung specified.

Jackson eyed the blush on Jinyoung’s cheeks and tried to decide if it was from anger or not.

“The first few times… You stayed, to tease me maybe but- you stayed… Lately you’ve been leaving like you can’t wait to get away from me and- if you don’t want to be in that position don’t put yourself there,” Jinyoung grumbled once more.

Jackson blushed and nodded, “I- yeah… I know, I just… I get embarrassed.”

Jinyoung stared at him for a moment, “Before or after?”

“Both,” Jackson answered easily, “Though for slightly different reasons.”

“Like what?”

Jackson fidgeted for a moment, “I-inexperience…”

Jinyoung watched him curiously, “With guys? Or…”

“Or,” Jackson grinned, though it looked more like a grimace, “I was an Olympic hopeful, I didn't have time for that…”

Jinyoung nodded at his explanation, “That's- yeah I didn't think about that…”

“And you… clearly know what you’re doing…”

He thought about being offended for a moment but he knew Jackson didn't mean it like that so he nodded, “I would never in a million years ask you to do something you weren't ready to do, Jackson. I also would never judge you for not knowing…”

Jackson sighed softly, “I just, I don’t know…”

“When you’re comfortable you can, and not a day before, it would make me feel awful if we did something and you weren't ready,” Jinyoung nodded.

“But I can still touch you?” Jackson clarified, gaze flickering up to Jinyoung.

Jinyoung faltered a little and nodded again, “If you /want/ to.”

“I want to,” Jackson agreed quickly.

“A-and if I want you to, obviously,” he added.

“Of course Jinyoung, I- wouldn't otherwise.”

“I know you were scared to… scare me, but it felt a lot like you were touching me out of obligation and that you didn't care how I felt about it. At all.”

Jackson in a breath and nodded, “I… I know… I'm so sorry.”

“Just don't do that again…”

Jackson leaned in and sat next to him on the mat, reaching to take his hand and entwine their fingers, “I'm an idiot, I'm so sorry…”

“No… You were scared, and it's okay.”

Jackson shook his head, looking up at Jinyoung, “It's not okay you can't just smooth it out.”

“It is okay. I can and I will. Jackson I love you, and nothing will change that so it has to be okay. Understand? I know you want to repent but don't, it's over. We're moving forward from here, right? We are fine.”

Jackson listened to him and nodded after a moment.

“I want to forget that something like that ever happened to me, so I want the times that I watched you walk away from me like you left the stove on to fade away too.  In the percentage of things I want those thoughts to be so small that it’s statistically impossible for me to think of them.”

Jackson filtered through the words he didn’t know but he caught Jinyoung’s drift and he nodded, watching him with an intense focus, “Jinyoung… Do you think of that when I touch you…?”

Jinyoung tried not to flinch at Jackson’s insinuation, tried to come up with a reply but Jackson stopped him short with a gentle jab to the ribs and a soft reminder to tell the truth. He sighed and leaned back some, “Yes sometimes,” he admitted, but when he felt Jackson tense beside him he added quietly, “With everyone. It just happens sometimes… It’s not you or them, it’s just being touched. I had to ask Yugyeom not to touch my shoulders just yesterday, I had to leave my shirt on with Jaebum just last week… It just hits me sometimes, randomly and I don’t want to stop everything for it because I feel like that will make it happen more…”

Jackson was slow to nod, but he relaxed beside him, “I’m sorry Jinyoungie… I’m making this all about me…”

“It is about you. And me. About us.”

Jackson nodded again, leaning in to press a few soft kisses to Jinyoung’s cheek, “You’re right, I’m sorry.”

“We’ll keep going and forget that this ever happened, every other experience I ever have will be beautiful and with people I love and I can't wait to leave this behind.”

Jackson nodded and pulled Jinyoung into his lap slowly, “I’ll make sure of that.”

“If you don't know what to do… Just ask if you want more and just hold me if you don't.”

“Hold you,” Jackson repeated with a nod.

“Your favorite thing,” Jinyoung teased softly and nuzzled against him.

Jackson rolled to put Jinyoung beneath himself and then curled into his side, “You got me there.”