****This chapter just wouldn't come alsdfkjlksajdf  but I'm so happy to be done with it, I didn't even reread it, if there are awful typos I'll come back to them later! THANKS FOR STICKING WITH ME EVERYONE****

When Jinyoung woke up the sun was out, had been up in fact for a little while already. That made him sit up so quickly that he got light headed and almost fell back over, but he stabilized himself at the last second on Jaebum's shoulder.

Jaebum was still here... And Youngjae was still here.

He searched around in the blankets for a little while before finding a phone, it wasn't even his but he pulled it up to his face and yelped when he realized that they were a whole four hours late to practice.  He wasn't a fast morning person, but he jumped out of bed and ran through the house to his room.  It wasn't until he was pulling his shirt on that he realized no one else was up in the whole house.

He had been staring at his dresser for a few moments when Bambam's soft voice broke his concentration.

"Hyung?"

Jinyoung looked towards the door and the small face peeking in around his door, "Hey, I'm sorry... Did I wake you...? Why isn't anyone up...?"

"It's okay I was kind of awake already.  We have the day off though," Bambam smiled and stepped into the room.

"The day off?" Jinyoung questioned, certain he had heard the younger wrong, "But- vocal practice?"

"No vocal practice."

"But we had that mock interview..."

"No interview."

"But-"

"Hyung~ we have the day off," Bambam smiled and made his way closer, pausing about a foot away.

Jinyoung watched the hesitation flit through Bambam's expression but then it was gone and Jinyoung couldn't help the twinge it caused in his chest, "I'd rather be working..."

Bambam assumed he meant he'd rather be busy so he reached out and took Jinyoung's hand with a grin, "Let's play a game.  Or go make breakfast for the guys~?"

"Lunch," Jinyoung corrected, trying not to let his annoyance show too badly.

"Sure, lunch, if you don't feel like cooking we could just go get some kimbap?"

Jinyoung watched him uncertainly, trying to figure out what was happening, "Yeah, let's do that."

Bambam grinned and nodded, "I'll let you finish getting dressed then, and I'll wait for you out front," he ducked out of the room a bounce in his step.

Jinyoung got dressed the rest of the way in a daze trying to sort his own emotions out and maybe Bambam too.  It was such a change from the sorrow the younger had been looking at him with last night that he wasn't sure how to take it.

Did he find out that 'nothing had happened' also and wasn't upset anymore? Because Jinyoung was still upset, he was allowed wasn't he?  He wasn't sure.  Or was Bambam just pretending?

The younger had seemed to remember for that small moment. So he must have been pretending, but what part? Should he be pretending too? He wasn't sure he was up to it yet.  

When he finally made his way back out Bambam was waiting for him, smile on his face.

"Hyung look!" He grinned, hopping up to shove his phone in Jinyoung's face.

The elder reached out to steady Bambam's hand far enough away so that he could actually focus on it.  His brows knit together in confusion at the message of congratulations on the screen, "What's that?" He had been expecting a funny picture or a cute animal or maybe even a cute girl.

"That game you helped me with yesterday! I beat it this morning~!"

Jinyoung blinked, yesterday morning seemed like months ago already, but he remembered pointing out a few of the right answers to the younger as they were eating breakfast in a circle on the practice room floor. "Oh, yeah."

"I couldn't have done it without you Hyung, thanks~" Bambam grinned wider.

Jinyoung stared for a moment and then smiled softly, "Ah... Yeah, you're welcome..."  Bambam's enthusiasm did nothing to settle his confusion and he moved to pull his shoes on slowly.

"Hyung, can we get ice cream first?"

Jinyoung looked over to Bambam, "But it's cold outside."

"We'll eat it inside~ where it's warm still~ I'll pay~?"

He finished tying his shoes and sighed out softly, he didn't even really want to leave the dorm, let alone stay out for any period of time, but he nodded, "Yeah, I guess that's fine, I'll pay though."

Bambam pouted a little as they headed out to the elevator, "Hyung, I want to get it~"

"I'm not a charity case, Bambam," Jinyoung muttered.

Bambam stopped and looked at the elder, "No, you aren't."

Jinyoung stared back at him uncertainly, "O-okay..."

"Did you not want to go out?" Bambam asked, also confused.

Jinyoung was quiet for another moment, "I... I don't know... I don't want to think. I want to go practice."

Bambam smiled a little, "We can't go yet though... So do you want to go back to sleep, find something to do in the dorm, or find something to do outside?"

Jinyoung knew that, and hearing it grounded him a little but it wasn't enough to outweigh the sudden feeling that he had lost control. He shook his head and headed back to the dorm, hearing Bambam following him.

"We'll get delivery then," Bambam nodded, moving toward the kitchen.

Jinyoung let him walk by and slowly took his shoes back off, heading to sit on the couch.  Other than Bambam in the kitchen it was quiet in the dorm and he felt weird.  They deserved the sleep, so he didn't want to wake them but he missed the noise of them all. Something he could sink into and not think.

"Hyung, we all love you," Bambam's voice startled him slightly.

Jinyoung looked over at the younger and nodded, even something like that didn't lessen the weight on him.

"Whatever happened... Whatever might have happened, we would have loved you still."

Jinyoung didn't realize he was crying until Bambam reached to brush the tears from his cheeks.

"Hyung... Tell me what I can do for you," Bambam offered softly.

"Just stop," Jinyoung pleaded, pushing the younger's hands away.

"Stop what, Hyung?" Bambam asked softly.

"Stop treating me like I'm fragile, stop babysitting me, nothing changed," Jinyoung hissed, standing up.

Bambam watched him for a moment before he nodded, "You're right, I'm sorry."

It sounded like pity to him, and he couldn't take it, so he made his way back to his room, closing the door behind himself gently only because he could hear Yugyeom snoring softly.

He spent a little while being mad before he couldn't really pinpoint why he was mad any longer and then it turned to anguish.  Bambam texted him that the food was there and he threw his phone at the giant teddy bear on his bed only to be upset when it hit the bed mat and bounced to the floor.  

Everything was awful and he wanted to rip his room apart and start over but he knew that one, the mess would give him anxiety, and two, then he would have to dodge a million questions about why.

Instead of tearing everything down he covered himself with every blanket he had and sobbed.  When he was finally exhausted he pulled down the blankets and stared at his ceiling for a while.  Rationally he knew it wasn’t any of them that he was mad at, that it was the situation he had been put in, that it was that man, but that didn’t make it any easier.

Somewhere around noon, when he was sure they were all awake he moved to shower and leave his room.  He got a few glances, but nothing he couldn't stand.

Bambam bounced up from his seat and gave Jinyoung a grin, "Your food is in the fridge, Hyung," he nodded and moved past him to head back towards his bedroom where he knew Yugyeom was still pretending he was asleep.

Jaebum was next, slipping up beside him with a small smile and a kiss to his cheek, "Good to see you up, Jinyoungie..."

"Of course," he answered stiffly, "I'm just really hungry..."

"Yeah, we left you some in the fridge," Jaebum smiled and moved back to the couch where a few of them were gathered to play a game.

Jinyoung nodded and moved to go pull it out of the fridge, tossing it into the microwave with a heavy sigh.  He heard someone come into the kitchen but didn't turn to look as he got his plate out, didn't think twice about it until someone's arm was reaching over his shoulder, chest pressed against his back.

He stiffened as he was pushed gently into the counter, a soft apology mumbled against his ear as the offending arm grabbed a cup and retreated.

Jackson.

It was just Jackson.

Still his skin felt itchy where the heat from the brief contact lingered and he didn't even hear the microwave as it beeped.  He was still busy trying to convince himself that it was okay when gentle hands pushed him to turn around.

"Hyung?"

Bambam's voice sounded higher than usual and maybe scared and he tried to focus on it, but his thoughts kept drifting back to the man.  The disgusting sticky feeling of his clammy hands touching his shoulders.

Soon someone was urging him to sit and so he sank down to the floor, someone warm clutched tight against his chest.

When he was finally able to focus again there were fingers running through his hair and Jaebum's soft voice beside him reassuring him.  The person in his arms was much too small to be Jaebum though and when he opened his eyes he found Bambam awkwardly sprawled out in front of him, one arm trapped under his own and the other curled up over his own head to be out of Jinyoung's face.

He let go of Bambam immediately, coughing softly, "I'm sorry..."

Bambam twisted around to a proper sitting position and shook his head, "You're fine Hyung."

"What happened, Jinyoungie?" Jaebum asked softly.

He glanced up to the elder and then over to the rest of the worried faces watching him. Jackson caught his eye and he shook his head quickly, "I don't know, I just want to go sleep I'm sorry."

"It was me," Jackson admitted, guilt on his face despite the confusion everyone else turned to look at him with, "I came up behind him to get a cup..."

Jinyoung tensed softly and shook his head, "That may have- I mean- Jackson, no one is at fault but him."

Jaebum nodded a little next to him, "We'll... We'll be careful, Jinyoung, but you're right, it's no one's fault but his. That means it isn't your fault either."

"No."

"What?"

"Don't be careful," he shook his head, "I need to get past this quickly, don't baby me, t-touch me more, I don't want to think about him ever again."

Jaebum sighed softly and nodded, "We'll work on it together," he compromised, "Eat something first and then you can sleep."

Jinyoung agreed and got to his feet slowly, letting Bambam lead him to the table as someone else grabbed his food.  He ate in a tired fog and they helped him back to bed too, tucking him in though he was asleep before his head hit the pillow.

-

When he woke again, it was to a soft insistent shaking and he groaned softly, turning to find Bambam at the side of his bedmat.  "What's wrong...?"

"Nothing," Bambam grinned.

"What? Bambam..."

"Hyung, you want to practice?"

Jinyoung shot upright and ignored the head rush it gave him, leaning to look out the door. When he spotted how dark it was in the younger's room he looked back to Bambam curiously, "What?"

"They cancelled our practice again for tomorrow, and they'll yell at you if they catch you there... So I thought we could go now?"

It was 2:30 am, and it had never sounded like a better time. Jinyoung grinned and pulled Bambam into a chaste kiss on the lips before he was up and getting dressed

When he was falling back into bed at 6:30, body aching and the warmth of Bambam pressed against his side, he felt content once more.