It had been hours since Jaejoong’s unconscious form arrived at Seoul University Hospital’s emergency department and there was still no word on his condition. Kate had tried her best to reassure little Moonbin that his mother was going to be alright but as the hours had ticked by, even she was growing more and more concerned. She had tried to distract the little one with food, games, stories, and conversation but none of it seemed to tear the small child’s mind away from the fate of his mother for very long and the unknown was growing stronger on his adorable face every single minute there was no word. Her heart ached for him. After many years as an emergency room administrator, she had seen almost every possible and horrific outcome you could imagine, and they never really bothered her on an emotional level; but seeing how Moonbin constantly worried for his mother pulled at her heart in a way she could have never imagined. He was so innocent, so sweet. He didn’t deserve such a horrible, mind-numbing fate, and neither did his mother. 

Yunho had done all he could. The lab confirmed the mix of prescription drugs in his system and countermeasures were implemented. His vitals had slowly begun to regulate themselves. His blood pressure had dropped to normal levels, his blood oxygenation was back up to one hundred percent, his temperature fell within safe ranges, and the color in his face had slowly come back, but he was still unconscious and non-responsive. Between himself and Dr. Park, they had run every test known to man trying to ascertain why Jaejoong was still locked in his unconscious state and came up with absolutely nothing. They had debated on whether or not to force-push a cocktail of intravenous medications to wake him up forcefully but the head of anesthesiology, Dr. Lee, had immediately voiced her disagreement with the idea, citing that there was no way of knowing how the medications would affect him both physically and mentally.

Yunho was at a loss. Nothing made sense. Jaejoong should be awake by now but he wasn’t. As he sat on the edge of the unconscious man’s bed and watched him breathe slowly in time with the beeps of various monitors, Yunho worried if there was something they were missing. Even though all the tests for possible explanations of his continuous unconsciousness had come back negative, he couldn’t shake the gnawing worry plaguing his every thought and action. There was no infection, no underlying cause that would prolong his current state, and no previous medical condition they knew of that could justify it.

“Yun...” came Yoochun’s soft voice. “You need a break.”

“I don’t want to leave him...” dismissed Yunho. “until I know he’s going to be ok.”

“He will be...” replied Yoochun. “Just give his body and mind time to heal. There is, quite possibly, an underlying mental factor that’s directly affecting his current state. With the types of medications he’s been prescribed...well...you know what they are used for, don’t you?”

“Yeah...” sighed Yunho knowingly with a deep frown. “PTSD.”

“We, as doctors, still don’t know all the effects that Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder can have on a patient’s mental or physical health,” replied Yoochun. “It’s possible that whatever is hindering him from waking up right now could be linked to his condition. But, we can’t really know what those complications maybe until his clinical psychologist arrives.”

“Until then...” ventured Yoochun. “All we can do is make sure he’s stays healthy, his vital stay within acceptable levels, and that he’s comfortable.”

“What you need to do, however...” he urged. “is to take a break. You had...what? Three hours of sleep after pulling a twelve hour A-1 ER shift?”

“Yeah.” sighed Yunho as he reached up and rubbed his tired eyes as his mind flashed with the memories of the slew of emergency surgeries he had to perform yesterday.

“Take a break,” ordered Yoochun lovingly. “Doctor’s orders.”

“But...” hesitated Yunho.

“No buts!” countered Yoochun. “Take a break and go check on his kid. I’m sure the little one is completely terrified right now.”

“Moonbin...” whispered Yunho sadly. He had been so fixated on taking care of Jaejoong that he’d forgotten all about the little three-year-old.

“Ok.” agreed Yunho, standing up from the edge of Jaejoong’s bed with a deep sigh. “I’ll be back.”

With one final look at Jaejoong’s sleeping form, Yunho tore himself away from the man’s bedside and headed towards the waiting room just outside the Emergency doors. The whole way, he contemplated what he was going to say to Moonbin. If he used a ton of medical jargon, the child simply wouldn’t understand. So, he had to come up with some kind of explanation that would make sense to a child his age. The thought of which was daunting. He was so used to giving bad news to adults, a patient’s next of kin, but having to address such a small child with the situation made his heartache with guilt. What would happen if he told Moonbin that his Mama was going to be ok, and then he wasn’t? How would the child feel about it all? Would he be able to handle it or be scarred for life?

When the opaque glass doors to the emergency department opened up automatically in front of him, Yunho looked across the hall at the adjoining waiting room with a deep sigh before crossing the breadth of the corridor and stepping into the room. Though the room was fairly emptier than he had been accustomed to, it was the sight his eyes beheld near the corner of the room that perplexed him far greater than the lack of families waiting on word of their loved ones. Sitting in the corner, on top of a plush couch, Moonbin sat dozing off with his head in Seungwoon’s lap and standing in front of them chatting quietly was Jihye and Kate. Walking across the room quietly, Yunho wondered why his son and his sister were there.

“Yunnie...” smiled Jihye as she caught a glimpse of him heading her way and immediately ran to his side. “How is he?”

“Stable,” answered Yunho in a clipped tone. “Why are you here?”

“It’s my fault,” answered Kate. “Binnie wanted to talk to his brother...”

“So you called Jihye.” sighed Yunho, nearly shaking his head when he saw Kate nod in agreement. “I really wish you hadn’t. You know how he feels about hospitals. It’s not good for Seungwoon to see Moonbin this way.”

“That’s where you’d be wrong, brother of mine.” chirped Jihye as she turned her eyes from her brother and looked at the two three-year-olds cuddled up together on the couch. “Seungwoon has been amazing through all of this. He doesn’t want to leave the boy’s side for even a minute.”

“And, Moonbin calmed down instantly the second Seungwoon appeared,” added Kate. “They really have a strong attachment to one another, don’t they?”

“Yeah...” smiled Yunho.

“So, what’s the...” started Kate before she was suddenly interrupted by the sound of someone running into the room, feet pounding against the linoleum floor heavily.

Three sets of eyes turned towards the doorway and took in the seemingly frightened man. With dark hair and even darker eyes, the man dressed in a dark navy suit, carrying a medium-size build and strong shoulders, scanned the room in a fit of sheer panic. Yunho couldn’t help but be taken back by the worried look on the man’s pretty face and porcelain skin, a face that seemed to be almost unbelievable yet somewhat utterly familiar. Before Yunho, Kate, or Jihye could take the man in full with their eyes, their attention was grabbed by a familiar child’s voice screaming out.

“DADDY SU!” yelled Moonbin seconds before he clamored out of Seungwoon’s lap, darted across the room, and dove into the man’s waiting arms.

“Binnie!” cried out the man as he hugged the boy tightly.

“Daddy?” questioned Yunho softly.

“Relative?” asked Kate. “Do you know him?”

“No.” sighed Yunho before he took a step away from them and crossed the room.

“Moonbin...?” questioned Yunho gently as he watched the man hug the child lovingly. “Do you know this man?”

The response was immediate.

“Yes.” smiled the child. “It’s Daddy Su.”

The young man scooped up Moonbin in his arms with a proud smile and turned to look at Yunho curiously.

“Name’s Kim Junsu.” greeted the man as he offered his hand in introduction. “And you are?”

“Kim...” thought Yunho worriedly.

“Oh...?” stammered Yunho, realizing that he hadn’t responded instantaneously, as he reached out and shook the man’s hand “My name is Jung Yunho, Dr. Jung Yunho.”

“Yunho, huh? Jaejoong didn’t mention that you were a doctor,” replied Junsu with a slight smirk playing at the corner of his lips as he pulled his hand from Yunho’s strong grip. “I’ve heard a good bit about you and...Your son. Jae speaks very highly of you both.”

“Well, I’m afraid you have me at a loss.” countered Yunho suspiciously. “Jae hasn’t mentioned, you.”

“Not surprising,” answered Junsu with a slightly derisive chuckle.

“Daddy Su?” questioned Moonbin suddenly, pulling both men’s accessing eyes from one another instantly.

“Yes, Binnie?” replied Junsu with a smile.

“Is Mama going to be ok?” he asked in a slightly defeated tone.

“I’m going to find out,” answered Junsu with a smile. “Why don’t you go sit with your brother for a few minutes and I will go check on Mama.”

“Ok, Daddy Su.” nodded Moonbin as he allowed the man to set him back down on his feet.

As the boy scurried off back towards the couch and curled back up in Seungwoon’s lap, Junsu looked up at Yunho –the worry that was on his face the moment he stepped into the waiting room, back in full force.

“Are you Jae’s attending?” he questioned.

“Yes.” nodded Yunho.

“How is he?” sighed Junsu heavily.

“Maybe...” stammered Yunho sadly as he motioned towards the waiting room doors. “we should discuss this in private. If you would follow me.”

Silently, Junsu followed Yunho down the hall until they came to what looked like a small, dark, and quiet conference room. Stepping in after Junsu, Yunho closed the door behind them and sighed.

“Have a seat.” he prompted motioning to the empty chairs around a medium-sized round table.

“So...” ventured Junsu the moment his bottom met the leather-bound chair. “What happened?”

As Yunho recounted the events that led up to finding Jaejoong on the floor of his bathroom, he couldn’t help feel a small pang of guilt in his heart. His conscious mind knew that he hadn’t known Jaejoong long enough to be aware of the man’s condition, so much to be able to notice anything out of the ordinary with his health but, nevertheless, he felt somewhat responsible for Jaejoong’s current state. If he had only taken the time to get to know Jaejoong a little better, if he had only stayed a little while longer before taking Seungwoon home, then maybe –just maybe- he would have been there when the man collapsed.

“So, what’s his condition now?” questioned Junsu with a worried sigh.

“He’s stable. All of his vitals are good...” answered Yunho. “but...he’s still unconscious.”

“How is his blood work?” replied Junsu “Abnormal right?”

“Yeah,” answered Yunho, slightly confused by the man’s response, as he looked at him slightly perplexed. “His blood sugar levels were dangerously low when he arrived and he’s showing signs of medium-stage malnutrition.”

“Damn it...” muttered Junsu as he reached up and rubbed his eyes frustratingly.

“You don’t sound surprised,” responded Yunho curiously. “Has this happened before?”

“Fainting: yes, nearly bleeding out: No” answered Junsu with a deep and regretful sigh. “And, sadly...malnutrition: yes.”

“As I’m sure you’ve already ascertained...considering his current prescription medication list...” elaborated Junsu. “that Jae suffers from PTSD.”

“Yeah...” sighed Yunho sadly.

“He has clinically diagnosed depression.” continued the man with a pain-filled look on his face. “And suffers from a panic disorder. When he takes his medicine regularly, he is as normal as you or me but one the side effects of the pharmaceutical concoction he takes is that it screws with his already lacking appetite. And after a while...he ends up in the hospital for malnutrition.”

“His clinical physiologist, Dr. Shim, has tried everything he can to alleviate the symptoms of Jaejoong’s condition along with the effect the medications have on his appetite,” he added. “And for the most part, it works well. It’s been almost a year since the last time Jae had a fainting spell.”

“I see...” nodded Yunho before hesitantly asking. “So...what happened to him to cause him to suffer from PTSD?”

“I...” sighed Junsu as he reached up and rubbed his throbbing head again. “I don’t know if it’s my place to say.”

“Well...” responded Yunho. “I am his attending physician after all.”

“You’re more than that to Jaejoong.” quipped Junsu immediately. “You’re a...friend...and that fact alone makes it harder to tell you. Jaejoong is a very private person by nature, but that part of his life...he keeps it even more private.”

“Then...” ventured Yunho almost manipulatively. “how do you know about it?”

“I was there.” sighed Junsu.

“Well...” stammered Yunho, a little taken back by the man’s quick response, as he lowered his eyes to his hands. “Is there anything you can tell me...that may help us in taking care of Jae’s health? Dr. Park has ascertained that a possible previous medical or mental condition may be the cause of his current state of unconsciousness. So, anything you can add to help us in treating him would be greatly appreciated.”

“I take it, Dr. Shim hasn’t arrived yet?” questioned Junsu.

“He has not,” replied Yunho. “When we contacted him about Jaejoong he was in Busan. He is currently on his way, by train.”

“Alright...” sighed Junsu before clearing his throat and starting again. “I can’t give you all the details but I can give you the cliff-notes version.”

“Ok...” answered Yunho hesitantly.

“Before Moonbin was born...” started Junsu with a deep scowl marring his face. “Jae was in an abusive relationship, both physically and mentally, with someone who he thought he was madly in love with. The guy was manipulative as hell and used to control everything Jaejoong did.”

“Guy?” questioned Yunho inwardly.

“He beat Jaejoong regularly...tormented him often, and kept him secluded from friends and family.” Junsu continued. “It took him three years to get out of that hell hole, and even though he’s safe now...the pain and memories of that time still linger.”

“This...this former lover...” questioned Yunho outright. “Was a guy...?”

None of this made any sense. If Jaejoong’s former lover was a man, where did Moonbin come from?

“Moonbin is Jae’s son,” informed Junsu, knowing full well what question was rambling around in the young doctor’s head. “His biological son.”

“What of the child’s mother?” curiously prompted Yunho.

“She died,” he responded in a clipped and cold tone.

“How...?” prompted Yunho again.

“I’d rather not say...saying so would be crossing a line that Jae doesn’t wish me to cross,” answered Junsu cryptically. “Let’s just say that, after certain events transpired, Jaejoong found himself in a life that was ultimately better than his last, all alone with a premature newborn son that could only depend on him.”

“Jae...” continued Junsu. “Has worked very hard to be a good father to Moonbin, to the point of sacrificing everything that he would ever want or need for the sake of his son. He’s had a hard life and though he tries his best to bury the worst parts of his life, they sometimes seep through the wall he’s built up to keep them at bay, and he has a relapse.”

“I see...” muttered Yunho as his mind slowly tried to assimilate what he had learned so far.

“What meds were in his system?” questioned Junsu softly.

“Nortriptyline HCL, Klonopin, Coumadin, and Lopressor,” answered Yunho bluntly.

“Damn it,” growled Junsu.

“Am I missing something?” questioned Yunho curiously as he took in Junsu wearied yet nearly angry facial expression.

“He’s supposed to space those doses out. And, he knows it!” answered Junsu with a deep sigh. “If he took them all at the same time...that means that something either triggered a flashback or he felt it coming.”

“Sometimes there is no warning... sometimes it just hits him like a punch to the chest out of nowhere.” offered up Junsu. “And sometimes he can feel himself going down that road again and a sort of panic sets in. He must have felt it and tried to stop it by taking his meds all at the same time. At least, that’s the only thing that makes sense anyway.”

“If he was in his right mind at the time, he would have never taken all four of them together,” added Junsu with another deep sigh.

“You’ve mentioned...” ventured Yunho after a few quiet minutes fell between the two men. “that Jaejoong has had fainting spells before. Were those incidences caused by adverse drug reactions, malnutrition, or something else?”

“It varies...” replied Junsu cryptically. “He’s been really good this last year, taking his medications and even forcing himself to eat when he has absolutely no appetite, so I’m not sure if this occurrence is due to one or the other.”

“It’s possible...in my medical opinion...” replied Yunho. “that it could have been a combination of both. In the realm of treating PTSD we, as doctors, are taught and trained that there are many factors which can directly affect the symptoms, reactions, and resulting effects of an episodic situation like this. But knowing which of these factors have induced this particular incident with Jaejoong is hard to diagnose without a full medical and mental history on the patient.”

“Which makes me wonder...” questioned Yunho gently. “why are there few medical records documenting Jaejoong’s condition?”

“Most of his records were sealed by court order,” answered Junsu knowingly.

“For what purpose?” question Yunho curiously.

Junsu hesitated. He wasn’t sure if he should reveal the reason behind the sanctioned court order but he felt somewhat obligated to at least give Yunho something that would make him understand.

“Jae’s former lover...was a very affluent businessman, from a well-known and very powerful family, with connections to some very shady institutions.” supplied Junsu after taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly. “The man was convicted on charges that had nothing to do with what he had done, and had been doing, to Jaejoong but their relationship had been revealed during the police investigation and used as evidence against the man during the trial. As part of a forced settlement...all documents; pertaining to the situation; were sealed as a way to protect Jaejoong, and coincidently Moonbin, from any further repercussions, and a part of those documents included Jaejoong’s extensive medical history and records.”

“Dr. Shim...” added Junsu with a frown. “Is the only person that has been allowed to read them, and only to treat him. So, as for the details on his current treatment plan or his current level of progression with his treatment, I am afraid that I don’t any relevant information to add.”

“I understand...” nodded Yunho.

“But...” interjected Junsu. “I may have an explanation of why he still unconscious.”

“Oh?” questioned Yunho curiously.

“I’m not sure if you are knowingly familiar with what Jaejoong does for a living...but are you familiar with an author by the name Park Shin Woo?” questioned Yoochun gently.

“Isn’t he...the author that wrote the Mirror trilogy?” questioned Yunho. He knew the name well, having read most of the author’s work over the last few years. “He’s been a number one bestseller for like the last two years and isn’t one of his manuscripts rumored to be made into a movie near the end of the year?”

“So you are familiar with him?” questioned Junsu with an almost mischievous smirk on his face.

“Yes...” answered Yunho. “I’ve read several of his novels.”

“Park Shin Woo...is Jaejoong,” informed Junsu bluntly.

“Really?” questioned Yunho in a surprised tone of voice.

“Park Shin Woo is Jaejoong’s pen name.” nodded Junsu knowingly. “He’s been writing for years but just became well known the last few. He’s currently working on a new series that he plans to release early next year, so he’s been very busy. Working all hours of the night while trying to take care of Moonbin.”

“It’s possible that his current state of unconsciousness, is merely his body trying to recuperate from lack of proper rest,” concluded Junsu. “It’s not unheard of in the industry for authors to put there all into writing a book, sacrificing things like food and rest, to make deadlines. And, honestly, Jaejoong is notorious for acting that way. He gets so involved with his work that, aside from Moonbin’s needs, everything just falls to the wayside and he focuses on his task. Everything else, be damned.”

“His body trying to recuperate from lack of proper rest...” repeated Yunho with a nod. “It’s a possibility. Chronic bouts of sleep deprivation can cause symptoms akin to what Jaejoong is currently experiencing. Perhaps it was a combination of all factors that led to his collapse last night. Lack of sleep, feeling overly tired, and lack of good nutrition is known to affect some symptoms of PTSD such as flashbacks and panic attacks.”

“So...what you’re saying is...that there is a possibility that not eating and not sleeping well started this?” questioned Junsu worriedly. “And it just snowballed from there?”

“It sounds plausible.” nodded Yunho.

“So...” ventured Junsu. “does that mean that if Jaejoong gets enough rest and is treated for his malnutrition...that, in time, his body will recuperate and he’ll wake up?”

 “Yes...” nodded Yunho. “I think so.”

“Good.” sighed Junsu in relief.

“Well...” smiled Yunho as he stood from his chair. “I better go relay the relative information to Dr. Park and make some adjustments to his treatment.”

“It was nice talking with you Mr. Kim.” thanked Yunho as he reached out and offered his hand.

“It was nice talking with you Yunho.” nodded Junsu as he stood and shook the young doctor’s hand. “You will keep me informed of Jaejoong’s condition, won’t you?”

“Yes.” smiled Yunho. “And, as soon as we’re sure there is no danger to the patient, you and Moonbin will be allowed to see him.”

“Thank you.” smiled Junsu gratefully. 




A/N: To all my fans of Tiny Hearts, I want to thank you for your continuing support. I appreciate it a lot. Also, I wanted to mention that I currently have several other fics running at the moment. Please check out my adventure epic:  Of Wolves and Dragonkin, my OT5 reunion fic: The Lady N,  my vampire story: Midnight Winds, and my newest mini-fic Two Drink Minimum, and subscribe for more varied stories and scenarios!

A/N: For those of you wondering if the medical scenario in this story is plausible and factual, it is. My father, step-father, and ex-husband all suffered from wartime based PTSD so the medical jargon, medication, symptoms, and reactions that are mentioned within the story, I have witnessed and lived through the first hand -full-on, terrorizing flashbacks included. I wrote this story based on a simple idea, two single dads coming together to have a happy future together, but I wanted to include factual accounts of what living with someone with PTSD can be like and help inform my readers on the severity and significance of such a debilitating condition. I hope that with this story you will enjoy it and learn a little more about what families go through. Thanks for reading!