“No.” replied Yunho sternly.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, Jaejoong,” replied Yunho.

“No.”

“Just no.”

“No?” scoffed Jaejoong instantaneously. “You have no say in the matter.”

“Oh, I beg to differ Jaejoong.” retorted Yunho, coming up to his bedside and eyeing the man.

“Think what you want.” waved off Jaejoong irritably, turning away from the man with a slightly aggravated tone lacing his voice. “No matter what you hope, no matter what you wish, this won’t turn out the way you want.”

“So...” he mumbled. “Just go.”

“What’s this about?” questioned Yunho. “Did I do something wrong?”

“This isn’t about what you did or didn’t do,” replied Jaejoong, not even bothering to look back at the man.

“Then what is it?” prompted Yunho worriedly.

“Your infatuation, concern, worry, innocent intentions... or whatever this is...is nothing but a fleeting moment in time,” answered Jaejoong softly. “Unwarranted...and unwelcomed. So, don’t bother.”

“Just leave me be...leave me to my life...” he added. “Forget about me...forget you ever met me...And just go about your business.”

“Do you really think I could just do that....so simply? Without an afterthought?” questioned Yunho confusedly.

“Is that the person you really think I am?” questioned Yunho in a defensive tone. “That I would find out something like that, and rather than sticking to my guns and staying beside the person I care about, that I would just wash my hands of everything...and leave just like that?”

“That I’d just walk away...after everything I’ve felt...like it was nothing?”

“You can do anything...” scoffed Jaejoong. “You’re Jung Yunho, after all. Respected Doctor...beloved father...upstanding citizen...whole...complete...normal. You can do it all.”

“But...” prompted Yunho. “You can’t...is that it?”

“Is that what this is about?” he questioned.

“Your...your pushing me away...” scoffed Yunho. “Because...what? You feel undeserving...inadequate? To be my friend?”

“Stop trying to make this out to be just my insecurities talking here.” rebutted Jaejoong. “You know everything, don’t you? Changmin told you about my condition, my past? Junsu, too, probably.”

“I know you and Min talked,” he confirmed with certainty. “I don’t even need to ask about how much he actually told you. I could see it in his face the second he walked through that door. You know everything about my past, every single disturbing and disgusting moment...everything I’ve gone through from then until now...everything I’ve tried to hide...to bury...to forget.”

“So...why even bother...?” he added with a sigh.

“So this is about your insecurities.” interrupted Yunho as he reached out, grabbed Jaejoong’s shoulder and rolled him back over so he could see the man’s face.

“No.” growled Jaejoong, reaching up and pushing off Yunho’s hand. “It’s about reality...my reality.”

“Whether you want to admit it to yourself or not, Yunho, I’m not someone you should really get involved with,” stated Jaejoong bluntly, as he looked up at the man. “The kids....the kids can have their relationship...their friendship...I won’t ever take that from them...but you and me...”

“Getting close to me is....” sighed Jaejoong. “A very bad idea.”

“Why?” incredulously questioned Yunho. “Is it because you think I can’t handle your past life. That I will always be thinking about what was done to you? Pitying you? Not seeing you for who you really are, in the here and now? Not trusting you to be yourself? Always chalking up your every behavior to some reclusive insecurity? Or, looking down on you?”

“God, Jaejoong...give me more credit than that.” sighed Yunho in disbelief.

“Why do you even care?” suddenly snapped Jaejoong, as he immediately shot up in bed in a fit and glared at Yunho angrily.

“Why should you?” he added with a scoff. “I’m nothing to you!”

“Is that what you think?” countered Yunho incredulously.

“If it hadn’t been for the kids, you would have never even met me...” he continued. “So just act like you don’t know me. Go back to the way it was...just a few days ago...live your life and leave me alone!”

“That way...” he uttered, his voice instantly falling away.

“That way...?” questioned Yunho. “What?”

“Forget it.” exasperated Jaejoong as he immediately turned his back to Yunho, laid back down, and promptly began to ignore the man looking at him in disbelief.

“Jae...” begged Yunho softly, the alarm bells that had been echoing in his heart since the moment the conversation started ringing so loudly that his very heart ached with some unrecognizable fear, as he reached out at touched the man on the shoulder.

“Don’t touch me!” demanded Jaejoong, snatching his shoulder out from under Yunho’s touch. “Go...just go!”

“Yunho...” suddenly came a voice, echoing from the doorway.

Looking up from Jaejoong’s angry and confounding form, he immediately spotted Changmin. Slightly confused by the man’s presence, somehow reappearing long after he had said his goodbyes for the night some hour ago, Yunho looked at the young doctor in disbelief.

“That’s enough for now,” he advised sternly. “Just go home.”

“But...” interjected Yunho.

“Just go,” demanded Changmin gently. “For now.”

With a huff, frustrated beyond belief, Yunho reached out and snatched his jacket from a nearby chair and stormed out. As he passed Changmin, the man gently grabbed his shoulder to hold him for a quick second.

“Don’t worry....” he whispered, before letting Yunho go and allowing him to leave. “I’ll talk to him...”

“Don’t even start...” grumbled Jaejoong the second Yunho disappeared from the room.

“Jae...” sighed Changmin as he closed the hospital room door and just shook his head.

“Did you really have to go that far?” he questioned, making his way to the man’s bedside. “I mean...Yunho...”

“I don’t care!” spat Jaejoong angrily.

“Yeah...” scoffed Changmin. “Like I believe that.”

“Just leave me alone Min.” he nearly whined as he buried his face in his pillow and jerked the blanket over his head.

Grabbing one of the metal chairs just out of reach from Jaejoong’s bedside, Changmin slid it closer to him and sat down. Resting his elbows on the chair’s armrests and lacing his fingers together in front him, he studied his patient and friend for years for a few moments and suddenly sighed as a lingering realization came to the forefront of his mind.

He knew what this was about.

“You know I’m here to help you.” started Changmin. “So, say it. Tell me what you’re feeling.”

“It’s alright Jaejoong...” he added. “You can tell me.”

“I can’t...” sniffled Jaejoong from under the blanket. “I can’t...do it...”

“He’s too...” he’s stammered. “Too...”

“What? Too good for you?” offered up Changmin, raising his eyebrow in curiosity.

“He can’t...we can’t be friends.” deadpanned Jaejoong, not even bothering to come out from underneath the blanket, too afraid to even see Changmin’s face. “I will do nothing but cause him pain. Ruin his peaceful life... I can’t do that to him. He’s too...he’s too nice for that.”

“You’re afraid...” nodded Changmin. “You’re afraid that if Yunho gets close to you he will end up getting hurt...because of your past. Because you believe that no matter what you do, that life will always taint any friendship or relationship you ever try to have.”

“That reason being, why you’ve lived only for Moonbin’s sake for the last few years...” he concluded finitely. “And why you’ve never opened yourself up to another living soul.”

“You make it sound like I’m a martyr.” scoffed Jaejoong through his sniffles.

“Aren’t you?” questioned Changmin seriously.

“You can’t keep hiding from the world, Jae.” he offered up almost lovingly. “I mean...how can you ever experience how people are supposed to treat one another, supposed love one another, if all you do is guard your heart and never branch out into the real world....into real relationships?”

“You can’t just be Mama Jae forever,” he added. “There is more to life than parenthood and work.”

“Love is one of the greatest gifts a person can receive....” he continued. “But only giving love...and never receiving any in return...leaves only an empty life in its wake.”

“He’s done too much for me already...” answered Jaejoong, sniffling once more. “I’ve already hurt him and I can’t take that back. I’d...I’d rather send him away now than have to live with the fact that I made it even worse later on.”

“He doesn’t deserve it...” he added.

“You don’t deserve him...” replied Changmin, deliberately twisting Jaejoong’s words. “You mean.”

“Don’t do that!” demanded Jaejoong, suddenly, as he snatched back the blanket from his face and sternly looked up at Changmin with reddened eyes. “Don’t twist my words around and try to make say something I don’t want to.”

“Don’t want to?” questioned Changmin. “Or afraid to?”

“Damn it, Min!” snapped Jaejoong. “Just stop!”

“Why don’t you just admit it Jaejoong...?” sighed Changmin with a disappointed shake of the head. “Why don’t you accept how you feel and tell me the truth?”

“You like Yunho, don’t you?” he urged. “And that’s what this is really about.”

“You like him...but you’re afraid of him. You want to get to know him better... but you're frightened that if you do he will no longer care about you...be afraid of you...or even hate you.” he continued. “You want to spend time with him...but you’re terrified that it will lead somewhere dark because of who you are...because of what haunts you...”

“You may even...like him just a little bit more than that of just friends...” added Changmin knowingly. “And that thought...”

“Scares me to death,” Jaejoong admitted softly.

“I thought so...” whispered Changmin disappointedly.

“So...” sighed Changmin regrettably. “Rather than giving Yunho a chance...and giving yourself a chance to find some semblance of normalcy and peace after so much turmoil and pain...you just up and decide to push Yunho away, just like that?”

“Because of some strange...inexplicable need...to protect him?” he continued. “Not from the world...or from an unknowing and unpredictable future...but simply...from you? Is that it?”             

“I’ve told you before...” scolded Changmin, his irritation growing increasingly apparent with every single word, as he looked up at the man before him. “You can’t treat people like that. If all you ever do is protect others, deliberately avoiding everything you ever feel, need, or want...you’re not really protecting anyone else but yourself... self-protection that is ultimately doing more damage to yourself...more harm than good.”

“That kind of choice...It’s not altruistic. It’s not noble. It’s not a kindness. Nor is it admirable.” he grumbled. “Or, even necessary! It’s selfish. Irresponsible. And foolish!”

“It’s a God damned crutch, Jae!” he added sternly, a little more forcefully than he intended, as he allowed his personal disappointment to overcloud his demeanor for a split second. “And you know it!”

As those nearly hateful and forceful words fell from Changmin’s lips, before he could even stop himself, and echoed through the room, Jaejoong instantly crumpled into himself, snatched the blanket over his head, and exploded into uncontrollable sobs.

“...” thought Changmin as he immediately climbed out of his chair and went to Jaejoong’s side.

“Too far, Min. Too far.” he scolded himself as he sat down beside Jaejoong and hugged him tightly.

“I’m sorry Jae...” he apologized, rubbing the man’s back as lovingly and as comfortingly as he could. “I didn’t mean it.”

“Yes, you did!” sobbed Jaejoong.

“No...” countered Changmin, hugging the man a little tighter. “I was just...just...”

“You’re right!” retorted the man through his ever-increasing sobs. “I’m pathetic... useless... selfish... worthless...”

“No, no, no, no.” chanted Changmin worriedly as he pushed Jaejoong back from him and snatched away the blanket.

“Don’t you dare say that!” he instantly countered as he looked at the face of the sobbing man before him. “You’re not worthless Jaejoong! You are priceless!”

“No, I’m not....” he cried, burying his face in Changmin’s chest and wailing as his whole world had just ended without a passing thought.

“...” mumbled Changmin as he tightened his grip around the man once more. “Is this hurting you that much? Does Yunho really mean that much to you?”

Jaejoong, lost in the throes of his own pain, answered only with more sobs.

“Damn it.”

Tearing out of the parking lot, upon screaming tires, Yunho pulled his car out on the street and floored it as the nearly suffocating frustration from his argument with Jaejoong clouded every speck of his lingering thoughts.

He didn’t get it.

What had he done to make Jaejoong so angry? Why was he pushing him away so adamantly? What was wrong with him?

He had thought that they were getting along well. The kids adored one another. They were only truly happy when they were together and Yunho had thought the same of him and Jaejoong. They were kind to one another. Friendly. They had a lot in common...And, he thought, they were happy to know each other. But, something was wrong.

Was there something he missed? Could he have done or said something that had ultimately put Jaejoong’s defenses up? Or, at worst, made Jaejoong angry at him? So much so that he was unwilling to overlook it or even try to understand it?

Could it really be that Jaejoong didn’t really like him? Was he seen as merely an unfortunate piece of a larger puzzle? An unavoidable addition to his ever irritating life? A person only to be tolerated simply for the sake of Moonbin and Seungwoon’s friendship?

Could that be the real reason why Jaejoong was pushing him away? Why he didn’t want Yunho to get too close? Or too attached? Or was there something more to it? Something that he just didn’t know, or couldn’t understand that was lingering in the background unknown to him?

Running one hand through his hair, Yunho pulled at the roots as he frustratingly tried to understand everything that had to happen. No matter which way he looked at it, he couldn’t figure it out. There were way too many questioned left unanswered, too many unknowns left a lingering, to even get a straight view of the situation and his emotions weren’t helping one bit.

When Jaejoong had uttered those word, it’s done, Yunho had immediately felt his heart drop and his world grow cold in an instant.

Though he didn’t want to admit it outright, the moment he had met Jaejoong for the first time he had truly thought Jaejoong was different. The good kind of different. A different that he would like, and maybe come to love or adore someday. He was smart, y, unbelievably loving: with a great heart and unflinching love for any children, and stunningly beautiful. Being almost too beautiful for words to do any sense of justice to the man, Yunho had secretly wondered what he had done to deserve meeting such a rare soul and had reveled in the fact that he had come across such a golden opportunity.

An opportunity that he had absolutely no intention of squandering.  

To say that he was smitten the first time his eyes landed on the beautiful brunette in gold-rimmed reading glasses would have been an understatement and he even consciously knew that himself. He had like Jaejoong from the start, even though at the time he had been so pissed at Seungwoon for running off. And every moment he had spent with him since that fateful moment in time had only solidified his feelings more and more.

When Moonbin had called him that night, so full of fear and panic, he ran to Jaejoong’s side without even a moment’s hesitation. Not a thought in his mind, save for Jaejoong. When he found him, Yunho’s heart had sunk into a pit of despair instantly. To see him like that, unearthly still and barely breathing, was almost too traumatizing to bear and all he could think of was that he needed to save him. When he got him to the hospital, and finally found out about not only his current physical condition but the emotional and traumatized state he had lived in for years, it wasn’t sympathy or pity that filled his heart. It was an uncontrollable urge to protect. He felt as if, suddenly, it was his place –his job, his responsibility– to do all he could for Jaejoong and his heart was eerily at peace with it. He wanted to do all that he could, all that Jaejoong would allow, to help the man in any way he could. Whether it be as mere a friend or even something more, it didn’t matter to him as long as he had that chance.

A chance, that now, seemed to be slipping through his fingers for absolutely no real reason.

And, he hated it.

He despised it.

And it hurt.

“What am I going to do?” he mumbled.

By two in the morning, Changmin had managed to calm Jaejoong enough for him to sleep. He had been afraid that he would need to resort to drugging his patient just to get the man to come to his senses but luckily after Jaejoong’s crying session he had been too exhausted to keep his eyes open and fell asleep without even the slightest protest.

For the last hour, he had been sitting at the man’s bedside contemplating on whether or not he really should get involved with Jaejoong and Yunho’s budding friendship. His professional side of his personality could see the benefits to such an association but his personal emotions were conflicted.

After treating Jaejoong for all these years, he had to admit that he had managed to grow fond of the man. At first, it had been simply from a doctor’s perspective, a willingness to help his patient get better, but that relationship slowly evolved into something more. Now, more friends than anything, he was having a hard time separating the two aspects of their relationship and his outburst earlier in the evening wasn’t helping.

“Jaejoong is already attached to the man, and that’s scaring him.” he thought, rationally, to himself as he watched Jaejoong sleep quietly. “Giving the current circumstances, his unfounded need to push Yunho away makes sense in his mind. And he can’t see how wrong that really is. He needs to open up to more people, live a little, to better himself –to get over everything that still haunts him– but he really can’t see that right now. He’s too afraid of letting anyone in.”

“Whether it be because he doesn’t want to hurt them in the long run, or because they fear that the next relationship he has will end up being exactly like the last, it’s unclear. But, whatever it is...Something tells me that if I let him continue down this path he will remain a victim of his past forever.”

“That can’t happen.” he decides.

“Perhaps, Yunho is the key.” he contemplates. “After all, the man is obviously willing to deal with Jaejoong’s issues head-on. Otherwise, he would have never gotten so angry and frustrated at Jaejoong tonight.”

“Could it be that Yunho really likes Jae, too?” he mumbles to himself questioningly.

He could see it, the moment he met Yunho. He knew instantly that the relationship between the young doctor and his precious patient was something far different than this own. The way Yunho looked at him as he spoke of Jaejoong’s condition, the way his eyes seemed to flicker with acceptance and understanding, was something that he thought he would never see in someone else. It was almost as if the man had come to not care about Jaejoong’s past mere seconds after learning about it. Like it was nothing. Like it was just a small part of the larger picture, a picture that seemed more appealing than even Jaejoong could realize.

“He’s too nice for that.” Jaejoong had said.

Changmin agreed. It seemed that for whatever reason Yunho was willing to try and that thought made his heart feel a little less burdened. Perhaps if he did involve himself in this budding friendship, Yunho might be able to make Jaejoong see the things that he as his psychologist could not. Maybe it would take the care of another, the love of a stranger, to change Jaejoong’s outlook on life.

“If Yunho is that willing...” he sighed. “It’s worth a try at least.”

Leaning forward a bit, he looked at Jaejoong’s sleeping and peaceful face with determination.

“You’re not going to like this, Jae,” he advised. “It’s going to be confusing, frustrating, and hard to handle. But you need it.”

“I just hope, when the smoke clears...no matter what happens...” he added. “That you don’t hate us for trying.”

“Because. No matter what you believe...” he sniffled. “You are worth it. You are worth everything.”

With a deep sigh, Changmin leans back and fishes his phone out of his jacket pocket and dials Yunho’s number.

He has a plan.

A/N: Sorry for the slow updates on this fic guys. Real-life is really trying to ruin my fun. Divorces ! Anyway, I hope you like this latest update. 
A/N: As many might be aware, I mostly write Yunjae fics; but I've decided to branch out a little. I recently came up with a plot that is JaeSu centric. If you are interested in reading it, click here ----> REVOL<----- and subscribe. The forward and first chapters are up, next update coming soon.