Chapter 2: Lessons

Fall

The first few weeks of my new job were difficult ones for me. I was introverted by nature, so it was difficult for me to connect with my students and going to lots of strange places caused me panic and anxiety. Remembering my purpose gave me courage, and when the ice was finally broken between us, my students began to love me, calling me noona and unnie instead of Miss Kwon.

After a couple months, the novelty of living on my own in the city soon wore off. And while I was prepared for the drudgery of work, it became tedious to do the same thing every day. I became lonely because the hours I was free YunHee was not and the small bits of pleasure I could afford on my budget were few and far between. The small apartment I lived in and was so proud of only a few weeks before became like a prison. Independent living was no joke, and many of the hopes and expectations I had had lost their brightness in the reality of adulthood.

If I could have made the sacrifice all at once and have been done with it I would have been fine, but to keep up a daily sacrifice of my wishes and pleasures was difficult. Lessons all day, the occasional instructional lecture or workshop to keep up my skills, reading books by a solitary lamp, or playing my piano with no one present to appreciate it was not what most people would consider a festive evening. I longed for a little fun, but most nights when the clock struck nine I’d say, “Time for bed. It’s a good idea for me to get plenty of rest so I’m ready for work tomorrow.” But after I crawled under the covers, I’d lie awake hearing the cars drive by and imagining the party girls going from club to club and the cocky guys dressed up to impress them and all the fun they were having. My pillow would then catch the tears that would roll down my cheeks when my heart became too full to hold in my loneliness anymore.

As YunHee’s guest on previous visits to the city for recitals, competitions, and auditions, despite my poverty and country accent, I had been warmly received. Now, things had changed. YunHee invited me over whenever she hosted small dinner parties and I would approach some of the girls I remembered, but those who had treated me kindly now snubbed me, the careless forgot all about me, and even YunHee, in all her affection felt, that I, Kwon HyeYeong, the simple music teacher, would not be welcomed in her circle of friends. They ignored me as if I were invisible or dropped their gaze to the floor and walked by without speaking. These things hurt me more than I cared to confess to YunHee afterwards when she asked how I liked the party.

After one particularly trying day at work (where my students were especially rambunctious and disobedient and one informed me that his parents were moving south so I wouldn’t be his teacher anymore), I was walking home for dinner when I noticed SeHun and EunMi on the other side of the street. They were a handsome couple and looked happy together. It seemed nature was playing a cruel joke making their half of the street mild and sunny and my half overcast and cold. I longed to see a familiar face and have a small chat, so I crossed over to meet them.

EunMi saw me first and immediately became distracted by the distant horizon. I thought SeHun had seen me which made my heart flutter with excitement, but his eyes were fixed on a sports car passing by. On they came with EunMi intent on the view and SeHun still staring at the car. The dreadful minute arrived and we stood parallel with each other, but no one spoke or bowed a greeting, and then it was all over. I felt like I had been slapped in the face.

I didn’t think SeHun was capable of such cold behavior. It’s that Park EunMi; I’m sure of it! She’s changed him and not for the better. Ugh! I’ve never liked that girl! My eyes watered and my lips trembled. This was the straw that broke my emotional back. How could he do it?

Before I could wipe my eyes and clear my face of the hurt emotion, I saw out of the corner of my eye someone smile at me and say, “Hello, Kwon HyeYeong.”

I turned to see the beaming face of Choi MinHo, the older brother of one of my students.

At seeing my face, his tone and expression changed to one of concern, “Are you okay? Is anything the matter? Can I help?”

I felt embarrassed to be caught showing such emotions in public. And it was very awkward, but it couldn’t be helped so I told him the truth about my day at work and the snub I’d just received and tried to make the best of the whole situation.

I wrapped up my story with, “I know it’s dumb, but it really hurt to be ignored by my friend. I guess I’ll just have to get used to it.”

MinHo glanced back, recognized the couple, and turned back with a disgusted look. I had been fumbling in my bag for a tissue, and without a word, he pulled one from his pocket and gently wiped my salt-stained cheeks.

I laughed and said in a fake cheerful tone, “Thank you, but you don’t need to trouble yourself. I’m fine.”

“It’s no trouble at all,” he said. Then glancing down at my instructor’s manual, he continued. “That reminds me. Do you have room in your schedule for another student? My mother has been raving about the progress MinJoon has been making under your direction to her friend Mrs. Kim, and Mrs. Kim wants you to start as soon as possible, if you can, and asked me to ask you about your schedule. Her daughter is only 5, so she wants to start with hour long lessons. Would that work for you?”

“Really?” I asked incredulously, believing he had made the whole thing up on the spot to make me feel better.

He smiled and pulled an envelope from his suit pocket. “Behold the proof of what I say.”

We sat on a nearby bench as I read the letter from Mrs. Kim. She really does want to sign a contract with me. And her salary offer is more generous than what I normally charge my students!

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