Chapter 12: Seeking Comfort

Spring

The next morning when I woke, I decided to run a few errands. This took longer than expected so I did not return to the apartment until the afternoon. When I came back I found SeHun in his den.

“What’s this?” SeHun asked with surprise as I entered the room carrying the small cake we had made together along with the frosting, decorations, and candles I’d put on it. He surveyed it with satisfaction.

“Seng il chook ha hamni da! Seng il chook ha hamni da! Sa rang ha nuen SeHun-ah. Seng il chook ha hamni da!” I sang.

He blew out the candles. “Thank you HyeYeong! This is really sweet of you. I thought you were baking a cake just because you wanted to. With this whole mess I completely forgot about today being my birthday.”

“I didn’t know what to get you since you have pretty much everything. Then I remembered halmeoni used to bake you a cake like this one, and the year she died you said you could never have another happy birthday without one. So I did my best to make it just like she did. I hope it tastes good!”

“Only one way to find out,” he smiled and began to slice.

First he removed the candles and the small manga figurine I’d placed in the middle of the cake as a decoration. Then cutting carefully, each piece crumbled perfectly under the frosted top. Each bite melted in my mouth with sweetness and richness. It wasn’t exactly like halmeoni’s but it came pretty close.

“Thank you again for the cake and the serenade. Both were fantastic!” SeHun laughed as he practically inhaled his slice of cake.

We were having a fun time just he and I sitting, talking, laughing, eating cake, when his tablet pinged twice notifying him of two emails.

I excused myself so he could read them in private.

And hour and a half later and SeHun still hadn’t come out from his den. All of a sudden a voice called out to me: “HyeYeong!”

I went without hesitation, but stopped at the threshold suddenly very anxious.

SeHun was sitting on his favorite chair in his favorite attitude, his legs slung over one arm and his back resting against the other. It wasn’t the most comfortable position, but he once said it was the only one he could best think in.

“Did you call me?” my voice came out unexpectedly timid as I slowly approached the chair.

“Yeah, come on in. No need to look scared. I want to show you a present I received and ask your advice about it.”

When I saw his face as he rose and turned to meet me I exclaimed, “You look like you’ve been punched in the face!”

“I feel like I have. I’m absolutely floored right now! Read this and tell me what you think of it.”

He snatched his tablet from the chair, put it in my hands, and began to pace around the room at such a rate that I thought the floor would crumble from the wear.

As I read the email all color left my face and anger kindled in my eyes. When I reached the end of it, I stood from the table I’d been leaning against, and angrily tossed the tablet on the chair. Then all in one breath I said:

“I think Park EunMi is a spoiled, heartless, ungrateful ! That’s what I think! And breaking up via email?! How tacky and rude is that?!”

“What?” he grabbed the tablet and looked at the message I’d just read.

“Damn. I didn’t mean to show you that one.” He scrolled through his inbox in search of the correct email. “I don’t care though. Everyone will know tomorrow,” he added as if he was relieved I was the first to know.

“It’s no wonder you look floored! That email is shocking! If that other message is anything like that, I’d better take a seat before I read it.” I twitched with rage.

Park EunMi is abandoning SeHun in his hour of need! I just can’t believe how low she is!

“It’s definitely better, but I’m not sure what to think of it. To be honest, I knocked me worse than that one did. Kindness always does.” He stopped there for a minute and stared at the screen; he looked very touched by whatever it said.

Then he motioned to the sofa and asked me to sit on it saying in a sober tone, “Whenever I was in a quandary, I used to go and talk to halmeoni. She always had something sensible or comforting to say to me. She’s gone now, but somehow, you seem to have taken her place HyeYeong,” he paused before continuing in an almost tender tone, “Would you mind sitting here and letting me talk to you like I would to her if she were here?”

Mind it? This is the highest and most beautiful compliment he could have devised! Halmeoni had been nothing but kind and caring her whole life. But all I said was, “If I can help you, let me.”

Ten minutes earlier and I could have done this for SeHun as easily as HyunJoon oppa, but in ten minutes something had happened which made this difficult. Reading the email from EunMi which gave SeHun his freedom changed everything for me. I almost didn’t want to be in his confidence because it would be harder to keep my feelings hidden. Slowly, I sat down, and with hesitation in my voice and my eyes on the floor, I said:

“I’ll do my best, but I can’t take halmeoni’s place or give any good advice. I wish I could though!”

“You’ll do better than anyone else. Omma and abeoji have enough to think of without adding my worries to theirs. SooMin is too young to understand, and YunHee isn’t practical. Who else do I have besides you HyeYeong?”

As he spoke, SeHun laid the tablet on my lap and went off to the window. Every now and then I caught him glancing over at me as if he couldn’t resist watching my reaction.

“SeHun! This is an amazing birthday gift! How very kind of MinHo to think of you like this.”

“You can say that again! I mean he’s offering to pay off my debts and in my name to spare my pride.”

“Will you accept his offer?”

“Would you?”

“Do you want my honest answer?”

“I would appreciate that.”

“No, I wouldn’t,” came my reply. “I don’t think my pride would let me.”

“I don’t think I can either, not as long as I have a perfectly good pair of hands and a conscience.”

It was a rough speech, but it pleased me because this email had been the means to kick SeHun out of the rut he’d been in the past few weeks.

“What will you do then?”

“I’ll tell you.” And with that SeHun laid his head on my lap as his legs stretched across the rest of the sofa. I tried to not display the taken-a-back feeling I felt at his forwardness. “I’ve had so many different plans: China, Europe, LA, some place where no one knows me or my situation so I can focus on making money quickly to pay off my debts.”

No! I cried internally as I put out my hand as if to keep him in that very spot, but I retracted it back before he could look up and notice.

“It would be hard on omma, SooMin, and YunHee, I suppose,” he continue