When Seung Hyun woke up, he didn’t much feel like getting out of bed. The house was too quite. There was no Seungri to make a racket simply to wind him up, nor no Ji Yong chatting away as he got ready for work. All he had for company was some obnoxiously cheery sounding bird twittering outside his window. He rolled over on his stomach, pulling a pillow over his head to try and drown out the unnatural silence of the house, but that insistent rumbling caused by covered ears soon had him giving up and moving onto his back, leaving the pillow behind.

He looked over to the bedside table, spying his phone sat near the edge. He grabbed for it, quickly powering it up to see if he had any missed calls or texts from Ji Yong. His heart fell when there weren’t any. There was however one text from Young Bae. His bit his lip, thumb hovering over ‘open’. He knew Ji Yong would have gone to Young Bae after he’d left yesterday. Whenever they’d argued in the past it was always Young Bae he went to.

Making up his mind, he clicked open and a short and straight to the point text popped up.

Hyung, what the hell happened?

The text was from last night, after Seung Hyun had turned off his phone not wanting to speak with anyone. He sighed and hit reply.

What did Ji Yong say? He got into an argument with Seungri, who left, which made us argue, and he said he wanted to get away for the night.

Technically, he’d said he wanted to get away from Seung Hyun for a while, but he didn’t practically want to think about that.

He didn’t have to wait long for a reply from the ever-reliable Young Bae. Within a minute his phone beeped.

He spent the day ranting and cussing. He misses you though. You should come over, talk things through.

Seung Hyun spent a while just staring at the words ‘he misses you’ and feeling like absolute crap. He hadn’t meant for yesterday to turn out like it did. Ji Yong seemed to be under the impression that he cared more about Seungri than him, but it wasn’t true. He loved Ji Yong more than he could ever express with words, he lived to be by his husband’s side. But he also cared about that damn teen, too. He probably shouldn’t given the way Seungri treated him and Ji Yong both, but he just couldn’t help it. He felt sorry for Seungri, and he wanted him to live happily. There was a sense of responsibility there that he had no idea how to handle. He was in no way prepared for an angry teenager and so had no idea of how to handle him. He thought he’d be better than this – he was still a young adult himself, so surely he should have a better understanding of what went on in the teens mind? But he barely understood Seungri at all. Maybe that’s what his mum meant when she used to say age brings wisdom – Seung Hyun simply wasn’t old enough, didn’t have enough life experience, to know how to deal with many situations.

He should go to Young Bae’s. He needed to explain himself to Ji Yong.

Determined to make things right he got out of bed, heading straight to the bathroom for a quick shower. With a hot stream of water rolling down his body, Seung Hyun closed his eyes and leaned his head against the tiles. He hadn’t spelt well that night, crying and upset, hating being alone in a home meant to be for a family. That’s why they’d picked out this house. They could have gone for a stylish flat in the city, close to bars and clubs and other fun things, but they didn’t want that, they’d wanted a family. They’d chosen a nice house with a good sized garden, in a nice little suburban neighbourhood; the ideal place to raise a child.

But look how that turned out. When they’d been shown around the place by an enthusiastic estate agent telling them all about the friendly atmosphere and the parks and school nearby he’d imagined what he future kid would be like, which bedroom he or she would have, what colour they’d paint it, in which room would he or she say their first word? Where would his child be when they took their very first step? Would his kid like robots, or dinosaurs, or horses? He’d imagined sitting with Ji Yong, both with beaming smiles on their faces at their child’s very first birthday, watching little delicate hands pull at loosely wrapped presents.

Now, in reality, there was none of that. It was just Seung Hyun stood alone, water pouring down, his eyes beginning to wet.

‘No. No,’ Seung Hyun thought determinedly, he didn’t need to think like that. He hadn’t lost that dream, he hadn’t, he could still have that. And even if there was no kid in the future, he’d still have his husband. That was enough. So long as he had Ji Yong by his side, so long as he had his husband’s love, he’d be the happiest man on Earth.

With new determination, he washed quickly and hurried back to his and his husband’s room to dress.

Once he was ready he stepped out onto into the hallway, closing the bedroom door behind him. A little further down the hallway Seungri’s door was wide open, and Seung Hyun had the strongest urge to close it. It was odd, it being open, as Seungri always shut it without fail. He wanted to block them out as much as he could, Seung Hyun guessed, even if it was only by a rectangular piece of wood. After all this time closed, it seemed… strange that it was lying open. It seemed final; like a statement made physical that its occupant would never be back.

Of course realistically Seung Hyun knew that wasn’t true. He and Ji Yong were Seungri’s legal guardians; the teen had to come back. Seungri didn’t get a say in the matter.

With a sigh, Seung Hyun shook off all these thoughts and headed over to close it. With the door wide open he saw the mess Seungri had left behind and bit back a groan. He should probably clean it up before Seungri returned (whenever that would be, he would have to phone Chae Rin – but not until he’d spoken to Ji Yong. Ji Yong came first today.), but he wouldn’t do it now; he had to get to Young Bae’s.

He shut the door with a quite click, and as he turned to head down the stairs, he subconsciously turned his eyes to a door he’d been ignoring for a while now.

He’d been doing good at ignoring it, so good in fact that he really had almost forgotten about it. Almost. Looking at the unassuming door, painted white just like all the other upstairs doors – an innocent copy, Seung Hyun bit his lip. He hadn’t been in there for weeks, not since the morning Seungri arrived, when he’d gotten up early, before making breakfast. He’d wanted to double check everything was perfect.

Seung Hyun hadn’t even realised he’d moved until he was clutching the handle, ready to turn it and push the door open.

But he didn’t, he caught himself before he could turn it. He released the handle and backed away, like trying to escape a bad memory. What was the point? It would only upset him further. The room was pointless now, after all what was the point of a nursery if there was no child to occupy it?

It’s funny how keeping busy had made him forget just how excited he was during the adoption process, how badly he had wanted it. Now that he was alone in the house, it was suddenly hard to think of anything else.

Would Ji Yong be here right now if there was a baby in that room? Most likely.

Where would Seungri be? Fostered out or in a group home? Would he be happier with a different family? Again, most likely.

Isn’t it funny how you can set out to do something, but the world will give you the exact opposite in return?

Seung Hyun was feeling ty. Nothing seemed to be working out lately, and all three were suffering for it. A few months ago when he was speaking his vows, this is not where he’d imagined he’d be stood today. He’d had so many plans, so many desires, that it hadn’t even crossed his mind that it could all fall apart so quickly.

So much for that newlywed bliss.

Dammit, he shouldn’t be thinking like this. Instead he should be out there fixing it. Raking back up his determination he headed for the stairs, skipping breakfast and grabbing his car keys. Young Bae didn’t live far away, only a 20-25 minute drive with no traffic; he’d be back by Ji Yong’s side soon, and he’d apologise and have him come home, where he belonged.

*~*

Seung Hyun knocked on the front door and shuffled his feet awkwardly as he waited.

It didn’t take long for it to swing open, and Young Bae met him with a kind, reassuring smile. “Hey, Seung Hyun hyung.”

“Hi,” Seung Hyun replied, looking at the younger man’s socked feet.

“Come in.” The feet stepped back, out of Seung Hyun’s view, and Seung Hyun followed them in, raising his eyes to peer down the hallway, as if he expected Ji Yong to be stood waiting for him. He turned his head to look at Young Bae as the younger man shut the door.

“Did you tell him I was coming?”

“Yeah,” Young Bae nodded as Seung Hyun slipped off his shoes. “He’s in the dining room.”

Feeling anxious, Seung Hyun nodded, “Thanks.”

Young Bae simply smiled again, his eyes turning into pleasant half-moons and told him he and Dara would be upstairs if they needed anything, and then headed off to give the quarrelling couple some privacy.

Seung Hyun shuffled along the hallway, not feeling all that confident. He felt like a kid about to be scolded by his mother, and it was utterly ridiculous, but he just couldn’t shake it. Like a kid who was both guilty and defiant. He felt guilty for making Ji Yong think he was pushing him away in favour of Seungri, but he was also not pleased that Ji Yong had reacted so dramatically over it all. He hadn’t even tried to give the teen in their care a chance. Still, he knew he shouldn’t accuse Ji Yong of that, because there was no way he’d listen – Ji Yong, for all his great qualities, could be awfully temperamental. Especially once he’d decided he didn’t like something (or someome).

Reaching the dining room, Seung Hyun looked in from the glass door. Ji Yong was sat at the large, stained oak table, gazing out of a wall length window into the immaculately mowed garden dotted with shrubs and young trees. The sky outside was a beautiful bright blue, with a few fluffy white clouds sparsely spread out. Something that looked like a bird of prey swooped by.

But Seung Hyun had eyes only for his husband. It was funny how much he could miss him after only one night. They’d been apart longer than that plenty of times before and Seung Hyun had never felt an ache like he did last night, but they’d always parted on good terms before, at least since they’d gotten engaged. Though even before that serious arguments were rare. Something about them being married now just made it seem so much bigger, so much more impactful.

He stepped into the room, shutting the wooden framed glass door behind him. The sound drew Ji Yong’s attention, and the younger man looked around sullenly, silently watching Seung Hyun slowly walking nearer.

He paused after a few steps, having no idea what to say. For a couple of moments they just started at each other, and Seung Hyun regretted that they had found themselves in this situation. He took a deep breath.

“You know that I never picked him, right?” Seung Hyun asked quietly, walking to the table and taking a seat - the third one down from his husband. When Ji Yong stayed quiet, Seung Hyun took a breath and continued as sincerely as he truly felt. “There is no picking involved. It’s not you or him, it never has been, never will be. You... you’re not something I could choose even if I wanted to, because I never chose you in the first place.” He looked to Ji Yong’s face, to his eyes. “I didn’t pick you to be the one I fell in love with. I fell in love with you because... I don’t know why, because you’re you?” Seung Hyun shook his head and fidgeted, being to get frustrated at himself because he really wasn’t managing to get his feelings across very well – this little speech was going nothing like he’d planned and the was barely making sense even to his own ears. But Ji Yong was watching him and not interrupting, so Seung Hyun decided to take that was a good sign to continue his rambling. He took another breath, and this time when he looked to Ji Yong’s eyes his husband met them. “There is no person on this earth that could change what I feel for you, or come between you and I. Over the years you’ve become everything to me, everything. And I think – no, I know I have for you as well.”

Ji Yong looked down to his clasped hands resting on top of the table, and Seung Hyun sat quietly as he gave him time to collect his thoughts. When he looked back to him Seung Hyun was relieved to see a small smile on his face.

“Last night,” Ji Yong began, “I had trouble sleeping. I was pissed off at Seungri, and I was trying to be pissed off at you, too, but it just wasn’t working. You’re very hard to be angry at for an extended period of time,” he chuckled softy, and a smile crept up Seung Hyun’s face.

“It’s part of my natural charm.”

“Oh, stuff this,” Ji Yong said, suddenly rising to his feet, and for a moment Seung Hyun was confused and even a little worried, but then Ji Yong was moving towards him and seconds later a pair of warm arms had embraced him. Seung Hyun immediately relaxed at the comforting and familiar weight around his shoulders, leaning his head against his husband’s chest and just taking a moment to breathe him in. But he couldn’t hold him properly sat down and he wanted him close, so Seung Hyun got to his feet. The height difference meant that Ji Yong’s arms slipped to his waist, but Seung Hyun didn’t mind as he hugged the shorter man to him, arms wrapped around his back, check resting on ruffled ink black hair.

“I don’t like it when we fight,” he mumbled into the strands.

“You’re not the only one,” Ji Yong sighed, and he slowly pulled back so they could face each other.

“Will you come home?” Seung Hyun asked softly, arms still around him.

“Yeah, I’ll come home,” Ji Yong nodded, a small smile on his lips, and Seung Hyun smiled back in relief. “But…”

“What?” Seung Hyun questioned when he trailed off, a little tense. Was he about to get an ultimatum?

“Seungri’s still at Chae Rin’s, right?” Seung Hyun slowly nodded the affirmative, so Ji Yong continued. “Let’s leave him there – just for a few days, before you start to argue,” he quickly added when Seung Hyun opened his mouth to speak, but closed it again at his words. “Please, Seung Hyun, I know we can’t just dump him on her for good, but let’s just have a few days of you and me. Just us, like before. We didn’t have much of that since moving into our new place.”

That sounded… fair, Seung Hyun decided. He really did miss the calm of just them, and it would give Seungri time to settle down and blow off some steam. More importantly it would him himself and Ji Yong time to reaffirm their relationship and just what they truly mean to one another. He tightened his hold on Ji Yong and rested his head down on his shoulder, savouring the moment. “Okay,” he agreed.

“I’m glad,” Ji Yong said, and Seung Hyun could feel the smile. He smiled in reply. “Come on, I should thank and apologise to Young Bae and Dara.”

~*~

Two hours later they were back home. They’d ended up staying with their friends a little longer, catching up properly since they’d missed most of Dae Sung and Bom’s party, and Ji Yong had spent the previous day ranting and sulking. They’d properly congratulated the couple on finding out their child’s gender, and been proudly and enthusiastically shown the ultrasound in return.

But now they were back home, and although Ji Yong had only been gone a night Seung Hyun was immeasurably happy to have him back.

They took off their shoes and hung up their coats, and Seung Hyun was hugging him again. Ji Yong sighed into the embrace.

“I’m sorry I left,” he said, warm and solid against Seung Hyun’s chest. “I should have stayed. The stress of Seungri just built up, but I think I need to take a leaf out of your book and let it go. How do you stay so calm about everything?”

“I’m just too lazy to get worked up,” Seung Hyun joked with a laugh as they separated. “No, but seriously, baby, you’ve just got to let things roll right on by. If you let things – people’s words or actions – get to you then you’re going to spend your life either angry and resentful, or a nervous wreck. People can be horrible, and sure it’s not exactly fun to deal with that, but you can’t let it eat away at you. Seungri’s only going to affect you as much as you let him, baby.”

Ji Yong sighed. “Look at me, a grown adult needing life lessons.”

Seung Hyun chuckled, putting an arm around his shoulders. “Everybody needs life lessons. Never thought I’d be one to hand them out though. Maybe I should charge?” He joked.

“And there’s the biggest life lesson; nothing is free,” Ji Yong laughed. With an easy smile he looked to Seung Hyun, shrugging off his arm and Seung Hyun let it fall back to his side. “You hungry? I was thinking we could have lunch, and then spend the rest of the day having hot, loud, sweaty make-up .”

“The best part of arguments,” Seung Hyun nodded. “I’m in.”

“Good, I’ll make some lunch, you go and do… whatever.”

Ji Yong gave Seung Hyun’s arse a playful slap and left for the kitchen, leaving Seung Hyun to watch him go with what could only be called a goofy grin. He looked around, wondering what he could do in the meantime. He felt like he should be productive, but the house was tidy, clothes were washed, the garden was mowed…

Seungri had made a mess of his room the night before when leaving however, he remembered. Although Seung Hyun had cleaned up the ramen spilt on the floor by the bottom of the stairs, he’d kept out of Seungri’s room other than shutting his door earlier. He may as well tidy it up now and get it out of the way. With that decided he called out to Ji Yong he’d be upstairs if he needed him and made his way up.

Seungri had packed the clothes and the food in his wardrobe, but there were empty wrappers and the few pieces of dirty clothes laying about the floor so he got to picking them up – he’d start with the clothes. As he headed near the window, a few t-shirts and a pair of trousers slung over his arm, a sudden stabbing pain sliced into his foot.

“!” Seung Hyun cussed. He instinctively picked it up to look, and grimaced when he saw his sock turning red, a piece of glass digging into his sole. He pulled it out with a wince, grateful it wasn’t larger. He looked down to see that there was a broken glass under him, and he’d have to get rid of it, but for now Seung Hyun dropped the shard with the others – setting down the other few items too. He needed to clean up his foot; blood was about to drip to the floor. Quickly, he pulled off the reddening sock and tied it around the cut. The wound didn’t seem too bad, but would probably be best to use something to help stop the blood flow sooner. Awkwardly, he hobbled to the bathroom and snatched down the first aid kit from the cabinet above the sink.

Sitting himself down on the edge of the bathtub and silently cursing Seungri for not just smashing a glad but leaving it there, he taped a square of wound dressing pad to his foot, and covered it with gauze. It was a bit of a messy job as he didn’t have much practise, so he’d ended up wrapping tape all the way around his foot to make sure it didn’t fall off, but it would have to do.

He stayed seated for a few minutes, giving it a little extra time to begin to heal, and hoping it wasn’t worse than it seemed he eventually got up. Grumbling to himself for being so unobservant, he awkwardly walked back to Seungri’s room, trying to not put too much pressure on his foot. Much more carefully he picked up the larger pieces of glass and headed downstairs to bin them, only pausing to grab his bloody sock from the bathroom floor as well – which was also going in the bin, the matching one going with it. He’d have to hoover up the smaller shards, but he was going to give the room a proper clean anyway so that didn’t matter. For now, however, he decided to wait for his cut to heal and headed to the kitchen.

“Ji,” he all but whined, pulling off the most pathetic look he could manage when the other man paused from preparing a chicken salad to look up at him. “I hurt my foot.” He held up his bloody sock as proof, and Ji Yong pulled a face.

“Jeez, Hyun, don’t be so unhygienic! Throw it away!”

Seung Hyun pouted at him harder for that answer, but walked over to the bin anyway. “I’m not diseased,” he grumbled, discarding the socks and glass. “You’re supposed to be sympathetic.”

He stepped over to the sink to wash his hands, and Ji Yong patted him on the back as he passed. “Sorry, honey.”

“You don’t sound very sorry,” Seung Hyun grumbled while soaping his hands, and Ji Yong chuckled.

“You’ll live, you big baby.” Was the reply he got. Seung Hyun turned to look at him, ready to complain some more, but Ji Yong caught his look and slid up to him, placing a suggestive hand on his upper thigh and giving a small squeeze. “But I’ll make you feel a whole lot better later, hmm?”

Seung Hyun shivered from the simple touch, a clear indicator that they’d been having nowhere near enough lately, and nodded his head dumbly, unable to think to do anything more. “I-yeah,” was all he managed, and with a wink and a smirk, Ji Yong slipped back to finish the salad.

Seung Hyun was definitely glad to have him back.