Notes From Reviewer

Title (8/10)

The title 'Stained Perfect' is very unique and sort of an oxymoron which definitely draws in attention from the readers. Perfection is supposed to be perfect, loved, and pure, but the word stained adds another layer of meaning into the title. It is very well chosen and well done.

The story is still very short, so I cannot make the relation of the title to the story plot yet, or what it means. But after reading all you posted, it gives me the impression that the title 'Stained Perfection' is used to describe Ara, or maybe her relationships and her personality.

Description & Foreword (19/20)

Using a very interesting passage from the story is a great way to write a description. It did indeed hook my attention without revealing anything about the story line. Your description very accurately portrays your writing style and the general mood of the story. It gives readers a very good insight on what type of content to expect in the story.

However, one thing that I question from your description is the fractured shoulder. Perhaps there is a reason for Ara's neglect of seeking treatment, but this is the part that threw me off. You did indicate that Ara still felt pain when she applied force to her shoulder. It is a very dramatic thing to mention. But let me remind you that fractured shoulder left untreated will cause permanent damage to her body. 

Originality (10/10)

So far so good, I have never read anything similar to this story. The characters are definitely very original and the settings and relationships are not commonly seen. Great job coming up with the unique story line. Keep it up in the future chapters!

Storyline: (-/-)

There are not enough written for me to judge your storyline. So far, everything happened is just on the tip of the iceburg. I believe there are many things and progressions that will be written.

The first chapter was very dramatic, it started te story off with a bang. I love how everything is still kept a mystery. You revealed just enough in the first chapter to keep the readers on their toes. 

Grammar and Spelling (8/10)

The descriptiveness and your writing style is great. It really enhances the overall mood of the story. But there are a few grammar errors here and there. Keep an out for your tenses as well, I noticed some inconsistencies in your verb tense.

Also, look to rephrase some of your sentences to make them less awkward and improve the flow. 

Eg. Chanyeol worriedly look (change to past tense) at his friend's lover.

Modified: Chanyeol looked at his friend's lover, clearly worried.

Another thing that I don't usually point out to writers is that following a form of to say, or to end with a form of to say, you will ALWAYS need a comma. This is propper grammar that a lot of authors are not aware of.

Eg: "...I'll fulfill your rising jealousy." Ara seductively whispered (to say) into Baekhyun's ears. 

Correct: "...I'll fulfill your rising jealousy," Ara seductively whispered... 

Characterization (-/-)

The characters are well portrayed. Because of the limited amount of writing posted, I cannot judge your characterization yet, since I haven't seen them grow. But you really cearly showed that Ara is very unstable and has various other problems in her life. However, her friend are surprisingly supportive and positive which I did not expect. It is clear that Exo is popular, but we still aren't clear of their personalities, whether they are good people or not. They do seem to care about each other though. From the description, I'm guessing that Soyeon is fake, her sweet and soft personality is faked and she is different on the inside. 

There are still many unclearities for me, but I think those will be explained in the later chapters.

Flow (-/-)

The flow of the first chapter was perfect. The events weren't too fast or too slow, there were no confusing scenes. Same as some of the other sections, there aren't enough presented for me to review this section. 

Personal Enjoyment (8/10)

As a reader, your story is very dramatic and intriguing. I feel like at the end of chapter 1, I am still left wandering in the dark. The story needs to unfold, which I sadly won't be able to reivew here. Great descriptions, and very strong mood. This story definitely has potential. Fix the grammar mistakes I pointed out and there really aren't much you need to change. It would be more efficient for you to request when you have written a bit more. Good luck in your future writing.

Overall (-/-)