Dr. Jeong’s Amazing Four Simple Steps to Dating

This is a book that every hot-bloodied Korean female must read.

If you ever doubted about your ability in conquering the so-called “man of your dreams” this book is for you.

In it you will learn valuable information in four simple steps to acquire your heart fondest desire, not love – as many claim – but a well to do life with a boyfriend that shines with bright future prospects, like a wealth life and a successful career.

Don’t lose time and start to turn the steps into reality today.

On Sale only for 30.000 won.

_____   

Step One

Cleanse yourself and become strong. The world of love is a battlefield and you must became an armed General to win the war and conquer your chosen prey (or as some weak-hearted like to call them, future-husband). Throw away all your dreams of the perfect man and your imaginings of true love – these don’t exist and will only block you on your path out of spinsterhood.

Self-help books are stupid.

I bought one once. It was about how to become richer and began with a whole chapter about the power of positive thinking - the author insisted that one should rub two coins every day and wish to be rich. Almost like there were little fairies inside the coins that would pop out with all the rubbing and bring fortune to those who truly believed (like a crazy mixture between Aladdin and Santa Claus).

Obviously, even after I rubbed the damn coins for three months straight, there wasn’t any more money on my bank account – there was actually less, since I had bought the Get Rich Package in DVD from the same author, and was about 100 bucks poorer. Suffice to say that after putting the book and the DVDs on fire, I found myself with a natural disbelief about self-help books. I mean – how are these people qualified to give advice on the first place anyway? Was the author of the Get Rich franchise a millionaire because he found the Coin Fairy?

I think not.

So I promised myself I would never – ever – spend my hard earned money with something so stupid again and got on with my life, still as poor as ever. But everything changed when in one busy Wednesday afternoon a group of six residents from the nearby hospital stopped at the coffee shop and among many jokes requested twelve cups of hot steamed coffee, six for immediate consummation and other six to take away.

It got me really pissed, because who the hell asks for twelve cups of coffee? Couldn’t they just drink all of them here? Why do they need to take extras to drink later – do they even know how badly the plastic cups pollute the environment? Besides, it was getting real near to the end of my shift soI just wanted to rest my feet on the back room.

With a scowl, I asked one of them to come and get the freaking twelve cups – which were so heavy that my arms were closing to falling off. A man stood up to get the coffees, moving to the side and allowing me to get a good look at their table - then I saw him, with bed hair and a sleepy face, and it was love at first sight (for him I would make a hundred cups of coffee – the love was that strong).

And believe me, I know how corny and cliché that sounds. But I’m just a er for bed hair. So from that day forward I started to develop an unhealthy fixation with the grumpy resident who always asked for a caramel macchiato (to which I added more caramel than the average person should ever need in a lifetime and might have made a heart figure with it – not that he ever noticed).

So, after six months of dreaming about a y wet doctor-in-training leaving my bathroom clad only in a tiny towel (Damn that towel that never came off!), I decided that something had to be done. The problem was, of course, that I had no idea what.

What brings me back to my hate of self-help books.

Really, after weeks of thinking the best way to snatch him for myself, I finally gave in to my friend’s advice and bought the most famous self-help love book in South Korean history - Dr. Jeong’s Amazing Four Simple Steps to Dating – in the hope that it could help me get the hottie of my dreams.

So now I’m standing behind the counter, squeezing the book half to death, trying to memorize its steps and waiting for the inevitable moment that my darling man will come in and ask for his daily caramel overdose. I still kind of think the steps are nonsense, but they couldn’t hurt, at this point in which Mr. Hottie doesn’t even now my name, the situation can’t really get any worse.

“So when is Mr. Perfect coming? Do you have the caramel ready, Eun Young? I will distract the boss while you drip one pound of caramel into his macchiato.” Woo Ri teases me, pointing to the caramel container that I might have been squeezing with my free hand.

“Very funny, you talk like the only thing I do in here is wait for him to come. I’ll let you know that the three point five minutes that I get to talk to Gorgeous-ssi and give him his choice of beverage are not the highlight of my day.”

Woo Ri raises her eyebrows at me and tries to grab the container out of my hands, but I hold onto it strongly - not because I’ll use it for my man’s request, but you know, one can never guess when a caramel emergency might arrive. What if the whole stock of caramel in the shop becomes infected with a deadly virus and the container in my hand is the only one left? I mean, something like that could happen - the world is unpredictable and all that.

Besides, according to Dr. Jeong’s Steps I have to throw away all my dreams of true love and I have completely done so. I only think of my frowning Legolas once every two hours, which I have deemed to be completely normal – well, okay, maybe not normal per say, but at least it’s better than before, and since I used to think of him once every twenty minutes, I do consider that a victory, thank you very much. 

“Right, I’ll pretend to buy that, like you haven’t been head over heels for this guy since the first time that he came here - with those terrible bags under his eyes and even worse hair. Not that I particularly understand what attracted you in that skinny body of his, but you know… To each their own.”

I turn around with a frown and glare at Woo Ri, more than ready to defend my precious man always dressed in white, but then I remember Dr. Jeong’s councils and still my tongue, avoiding to look at her knowing smirk. Because ever since I read Dr. Jeong’s book, I don’t believe in true love anymore and I certainly don’t think that my cutie pie is the most perfect of God’s creations to walk upon this Earth – you know, much.

“I’m totally over him, Woo Ri unnie. Actually, from today onwards I will consider every single man as prey. I mean, they have treated us women like trash for centuries, so really I think it’s only fair that we consider them just as giant wallets that conveniently also have a you-know-what.” Woo Ri’s eyes widen, and she shakes her head denying my claims, pointing to something behind my back, but I’m too round up to care. I’m finally getting to the point where I can connect with Dr. Jeong’s ideas – Damn if I won’t enjoy the moment. “Come on – we girls have to throw any kind of thought about marriage or true love down the drain and concentrate ourselves in what truly matters: money. That’s why we should choose men on the basis of how much he will bring of revenue every month and not on the freaking tingling feeling on our stomachs. You know that that is just a chemical reaction to make sure that we get impregnated? So even our body is against us – we have to stay together in this. Down with love to all!”

I finish my speech with raged breath and a flushed face, happy that I managed not only to memorize every single argument of the book, but also to deliver them in a convincing way. I so got this – that guy will be mine in a flash. Woo Ri doesn’t seem to agree with me, though. She is shaking with laughter and her eyes are twinkling.

“Okay, Eun Young. Men are trash – we all know now that you think like that.” Mrs. Jung, my boss, screams from the back of the shop. Gosh, I might have been louder than I thought if even she could listen to my rant. But she has divorced three times already and is always bad mouthing her ex-husbands, so I’m quite certain she agrees with Dr. Jeong’s views, erg… I mean, my opinions on true love. “Just get on with your work. The customer has been waiting for you since the beginning of your great and enlightening monologue.”

With a guilty expression, I turn to face my costumer. Hopefully he didn’t wait long, although I have the slight impression that my rant lasted for about five minutes. I rehearse my best smile and I’m ready to apologize when I get a good look at the costumer that had to listen to my whole speech about how love is a society lie to keep woman as housewives while the men have all the fun.

It’s my freaking resident, who is staring at me like I was a crazy person who just escaped from a sanatorium – which considering what he heard I might as well be.

.

I give him twice the quantity of caramel that I usually do (which probably means that he has more caramel than coffee on his cup, so I put a spoon to facilitate the drinking process) and hope that next time we see each other he will have magically forgotten about this episode, but I have a very slim hope of that happening.

I just ed step one badly.

Let’s just hope that step two turns out better.

_____

Step Two

Select carefully your prey. As all men are alike, you must choose based in the essential qualities that will make you able to have an easy life on your future marriage, like submission, richness and social standing. A good place to begin would be looking for a prosecutor or a doctor. Learn everything you can about him – his likes and dislikes, his hobbies, ambitions and anything else you can. Later, use this information to produce a false sense of companionship between you.

So, after the epic failure of step one, I’m decided that step number two will go off without a hitch. I wait a couple of weeks to make certain that the man who demands my never ending love, thereby known as my prey, will – if not forget the events of the last step – at least think they are in the past and become unsuspecting of any techniques I might employ.

“So let me get this straight: you want me to distract the residents, while you do what exactly?” Woo Ri asks me with an incredulous expression, holding the coffee pot way to close to my body for comfort.

“I told you, now that I only believe that money it’s the true path to happiness, I need to choose a man that will fit a specific criteria and I must have information about him if I’m going to, you know, defeat and conquer afterwards.” I explain for the hundredth time to her, pushing the pot away in a discreet manner. I have been there for Woo Ri unnie’s training – she must be the clumsiest person alive. I would never trust her with a hot boiling pot of coffee near my skin; it’s just my luck that I will have to trust her with the issues of my heart. “Just, you know, help me make an excuse to pass around their table so that I can gather information.”

“Gather information? You actually mean to spy on those poor, innocent residents, don’t you?”

“Psh… It’s not spying.” I remark, waving my hands at her. “Look, it’s a war tactic. Are you in or not?”

“Sure, why not?” Woo Ri agrees with a chuckle. “I’m always up for some fun.”

That doesn’t bring me any relief, but I don’t have time to fret anymore, since the bell above the door has just sounded and I can hear the raised voices of the residents joking around. My Greek god is on the front of the group and he is the one that comes to make their order and take their coffee – as he does every time. He is just so polite and kind – I’m sure that this is one trait that Dr. Jeong recommends in our preys, which just go to show that I’m on the right track.  

Considering that they ask for the same things every day (three espressos, two cappuccinos, one iced coffee, five frappuccinos and, of course, the caramel macchiato) I had all of it pretty much done by the time he came on front of me to ask for them – mainly so that I could take my time listening to his voice and categorizing his appearance.

Today, I’m focusing on his jawline. God, that thing could probably cut me like a knife. I sigh while giving him their order. My eyes don’t stray from my target on his face, but I manage to give everything to him without spilling a drop – which proves that I have done that way too many times for my shame (or pride, depending on the point of view, mommy always wanted me to multitask anyway) and make sure to create the heart-shaped figure on top of his macchiato, like I always do.

When he goes back to his table I grab a rag and, with a nod to Woo Ri, start to wipe at the nearest table from where he is sitting. It’s very lucky that Ms. Jung is not here today, because she wouldn’t be fooled by my wiping. I have never wiped so badly on my life – considering that I’m concentrating just in one side of the table (the closest to my ultimate bias) for about the last fifteen minutes. Damn but these guys could dish valuable information, but no – they just drink their coffee.

Come on! Some people have lives here, jobs to return to and an evil/love master plan to put in action. Oh, my – finally one of them opens his mouth. I hold my breath in anticipation – will I learn his name at least?

“Dudes, that girl have been wiping that table for over twenty minutes. I’m kind of scared.” The tanned one says, pointing at me with his head and grinning. “I didn’t know this place was so dirty.”

With his exclamation, all of them turn to look at me. – I knew that staying in just one end of the table was not a good idea, but really, how can I be expected to stay away from my lovely Korean Draco Malfoy? With a small, ashamed smile, I go back to behind the counter, walking like a zombie that just let her prey get away.

 I couldn’t even get any proper information out of them, but my plan is not over yet. Woo Ri’s part is still not played. I wink at her so that she could begin, but she doesn’t seem to understand my meaning and just keeps on playing in her cellphone. With a murmured curse, I wave my arms at her, but she still doesn’t look at me. I can’t very well ask her because she is far away and Heaven knows that screaming will just make everything worse.

So I do the only thing that I can. I take some extra spoons and throw them at her head. I didn’t count on my terrible aim, so some of them hit an innocent customer who was sitting near her, but she finally notices me and nods that she comprehends her part of the plan.

God, I wish you had given me a smarter co-worker.

“Eun Young, can you hear me?” Woo Ri practically screams from her position, making everybody in the coffee shop turn to hear what she has to say. My ears are hurting, but at least my honey bunny has listened as well, so the plan is actually working for once. “I think I dropped at the residents table over there mine… hum… fake nail? Could you please go there look?”

My jaw drops.

FAKE NAIL?

It’s that the only thing that she can think of? Really? I knew that entrusting her with this was asking too much of her intellectual capabilities. But what could I have done? Shaking my head at her to show my displeasure, I go back to their table, head hanging low, ignoring their smirks. I sneak a glance at my almost-caught-prey, but he seems thoughtful, as if reflecting about something very important.

I knew he was above the medium of regular man. He is just something else altogether – how could I not fall for him? Er… I mean, how could I not select him to be my prey, with all his future prospects and present qualities?

I crawl on my hand and knees under their table and between their legs, after an insincere apology, enjoying the sight of his calves so near my face. I sniff a little to get a taste of his scent – Heaven knows it could take years before I have the chance again by the way the steps are turning out – but he smells gross. It kind of makes sense, since he has probably been in the hospital for a long time making rounds, but it would have been nice if he smelled good, being that now I feel like throwing up. I will definitely introduce him to feet powder when we begin dating.

I’m stalling, pretending to search for the fake nail, but they are not talking. Damn! Do these people need to make my life difficult? Would it kill them to just say his name in front of me once? The tanned one is laughing above me – at me probably – and I’m very tempted in kicking his legs, but you know, I can’t blow my cover. When my angel and I begin our path to eternal happiness he is going to be the first one to go.

I stay there as long as I can, but they keep quiet. I have to leave or it will begin to look weird. With a sigh, I crawl from under the table and go back to the counter. Another step has been ruined. I swear to God that I will spit on the tanned one’s espresso next time.

Among laughing and grinning, the residents start to clear out the table, taking their order to go with them. My superman in a white coat stays behind, staring at his caramel macchiato as if he has never seen something like it before. He hasn’t drunk it either, which is quite strange, since he always finishes it in four gulps (and no, I don’t think I’m creepy at all by knowing this).

“Sehun, come on!” One of the residents calls out from the door, scaring my loved one from his internal monologue. “You are going to be late for your four o’clock shift. The Chief won’t let it pass by him again – you were late yesterday too! So move it.”

He stands up and walks to the door, but I’m so shocked that I can’t watch him leave like I usually do. I have just learned his name! And what a name – so perfect, do delightful, so easy to say...

“YEAH!” I scream involuntarily. After months of pining I finally learned his incredible name! I’m so happy I could dance a gig on top of the wood counter, but then I notice that everyone in the coffee shop, including Sehun (and it’s so good to say his name at least), is now looking at me as if I was crazy. Oh, Dear. I might have cheered louder than I thought. In a moment inspiration, I make a fist and raise my hand above my head, with a smile “I just found the fake nail.”

Sehun chuckles and leaves, while Woo Ri starts to mock me, but it doesn’t faze me a bit. I have just realized that beside his name I also learned today that he has the four o’clock shift in the hospital.

Step three here I come!

_____

Step Three

Create your own opportunities. Like any good General you must be intelligent and ruthless to elaborate a plan to “casually” meet your prey and forge the “love by coincidence”, where the prey will have a natural fondness for you after seeing you many times in different places. For instance, if you are trying to win over a doctor, the best place to meet them would be on a hospital or near one. Also, you must make intense preparations about your appearance before this meeting – you must be stunning, but in a simple-everyday-way. Don’t forget – being beautiful is the key to your success. Without this you better not even try.

I stop in front of the hospital with a sad expression.

The building is huge – how will I ever find Sehun on a place this big? What are the odds that he is going to be the one to be my doctor? Really, this is quite impossible – I might as well just give up and go home.

I shake my head and give myself a light slap. Dr. Jeong warned in her book that such an occasion might arrive: like any General it can came a time that you feel like sending your troops back and asking for a truce, but that can never be done. She says that if one has followed the first two steps, she is that much closer in catching her prey, so it’s not the time to give up!

And, you know, love always finds a way.

With renewed confidence and a lighter step, I enter the hospital and begin to run to the information counter with a smile, until I remember I’m supposed to be sick so that I can ask for a doctor. Ops… Hopefully the nurse didn’t see my strange and out-of-place surge of energy and happiness.

I pretend to cough loudly and start to sway from side to side as if I may faint, holding into the walls for support and . I’m doing such a good job that mothers are hiding their infant sons from me, in fear of them catching something and a nurse has come to help me in reaching the counter. I didn’t actually know that I was such a good actress.

“Miss, are you alright? What can we do for you today?” The nurse responsible worriedly asks me, as I cough a little more for good measure. “What are your symptoms?”

 Now, before coming here I spent a long time thinking about the symptoms that were not only the easiest ones to fake and that the treatment would cost less (being a college student/bartender don’t pay that much), but also most likely to bring me to Sehun. In the end, I come up with typical flu symptoms, just amplified, to justify me coming into the hospital.

“Dizziness, weakness, cough and pain.” I croak pitifully, wanting to bring her to my side, so she won’t find it strange when I request for a specific resident. I smile lightly, showing the pureness of my character. “But I don’t want to bother a doctor with this – I’m certain that they have many things to do. A resident should suffice; they need the practice, right? And you know, if he is skinny and blond it may make me have more confidence in him. I always trust thin blond men.”

She raises her eyebrows in distrust at my last attempt, so I cough even harder and start to shiver a little in the hope that she just lets it go. It seems to work, because another nurse comes and takes me to a hospital bed, sitting me and asking me to wait for the doctor.

I hold my hands in prayer, asking God to be merciful and send Sehun to see me. When I hear someone approaching, I quickly smooth down my hair and make certain that my lipstick is still in place, before staring at hopefully the future father of my children.

Unfortunately, God resolves to ignore my prayers and sends the tanned resident to attend me. – I really don’t have any luck. He seems to recognize me too, since he smiles.

“Hello, you are the girl from the coffee shop, right? I’m Dr. Kim Jongin and I’m going to help you today. So, what is the problem?”

While I repeat my made up symptoms, I try to look behind him. If he is here, Sehun must be near – they are as close as thieves on the coffee shop, so it makes sense that the same would happen here, too. But he is quite muscled so he makes it quite of hard.

I wonder when he has time to hit the gym, since supposedly residents are always busy in the hospital. Humph… I knew I chose right when I picked Sehun out of the bunch. Dr. Jeong would be proud – it’s obvious that Sehun will have a bright future, while the tanned one dies on the cold concrete. If he helps me now I might consider letting him sleep on my sofa during cold nights, but it doesn’t seem like it will happen, he is looking at me with distrust after my exam.

“I don’t seem to find anything wrong with your lungs, heart or pulse. When did you say that the symptoms began again?” He asks, looking at me fixedly.

. I can’t be caught now – I didn’t even have the chance to see Sehun yet. How can I make “love by coincidence” happen if I don’t see him anywhere else but the coffee shop? I refuse! I won’t let this Dr. Kim throw me out of this hospital.

I grab the bed just in case he tries to move me and give him my best smile.

“Yesterday afternoon.” I put my hand on my forehead and pretend to swoon. He catches me and start to look worried. “I just feel so bad; I don’t know how you can’t find anything.”

He helps me to lie down on the bed and calls a nurse.

“It’s okay, Eun Young-ssi, don’t overtax yourself. If you are feeling that bad, is better to have some exams done and to put in an IV on you. For now, just stay here and try to relax. I will be back in a bit.”

He leaves and a nurse comes to put an IV on my left arm. I feel a little guilty in lying to Jongin-ssi – he actually seems like a good doctor, as strange as that may sound. But he is just so innocent! I guess this will teach him to trust less in people – Dr. Jeong says is the ultimate lesson to be learned by everyone.

When the nurse leaves, I put my hand over the IV with the intention to pluck it out of my vein. Now is the right moment to look for Sehun – if Mohammed won’t come to the mountain, the mountain, in this scenario represented by yours truly, must go to Mohammed. I just need to be quiet and sneaky (two qualities that I was practically born with) and everything will turn out just peachy. God has to facilitate my life this time!

 I’m not really worried about the IV thing. They always do this on the TV dramas and it never seems to hurt anyone. But I will do it fast, just so that I won’t change my mind midway. I’m not the strongest person when it comes to pain. Let’s just say that I decided a long time ago that I would have to adopt, since I would probably die because of the labor pains.

While holding my breath, I plucked the IV out of my arm fast. Interest enough it seems like all the dramas were wrong, since a pain like no other shoots up my arm, making me scream like a banshee and also make all the patients, nurses and residents look at me and run in my direction. I debate between curling into myself and hurling my pain to the moon or running away from them to search for Sehun.

Trying to hold back my tears, I jump from the bed and start to run to the information counter. It is the most probable place to find the info that I need (in which department Sehun works, after all?) and I must get there before any nurse realizes my intent - I doubt they would let me look through their internal data, at least not after I pretend to be practically dying on their doorstep. My arm hurts like a , but I can’t let it detain me.

Loves must triumph over all.

When I’m this close to the counter, however, Jongin-ssi manages to close onto me. – I knew I hadn’t like him for a reason. He grabs my shirt, making me tumble and fall to the ground. To his credit he seems mortified that he made me fall, but I can’t forgive him for his actions, because when he tries to help me up, a terrible sound echoes in the corridor.

He freezes and it takes me a moment to understand why.

The sound was the noise of my foot’s bone breaking. And the pain! Oh my God – the pain! I feel like dying. I scream and cry, cursing Jongin-ssi to the moon. My makeup is most likely ruined and I am suddenly grateful that I didn’t find Sehun – I wouldn’t want him to seem me like this.        

“Eun Young-ssi, I’m just going to help you to lie down, alright? A doctor is coming to look at your foot. Everything is going to be fine, but you need to be still.” Jongin pleads, carrying me back to the bed. But I can’t stay still – is hurting too much.

“It hurts!” I sob at Jongin-ssi face, when he tries to move me on the bed, trying to make me more comfortable. My nose is running, so I use my sleeve to clean it, smearing my red lipstick all over my face and shirt. For a moment I think the stains are of my blood and I get even more hysterical. Jongin-ssi seems lost and my anger ignites – this is his fault, after all. “Do something! Take the pain away!”

“Thank God you are here man!” Jongin-ssi exclaims to someone else who arrives at my back. I keep on crying on my hands, making it impossible to actually see who it is. I just hope that he is the freaking foot doctor that took it forever to get here – otherwise I will probably start hitting people. “She fell and I’m almost sure she broke her foot.”

I feel a light touch on my foot and the pain returns tenfold. I’m crying harder and it is even hard to listen to the new doctor’s directions about how I should move and what he is going to do. He is fast, though, because after a higher amount of pain, my foot is on a cast and the agony is basically non-existent (although that might have been because of the tons of pain relievers that I had begged for and got from the nurse who was helping during the process).

After a deep breath, I turn to the new doctor to show my appreciation for his fast and credible work – all blurred lipstick, ran mascara, crazy hair and mucus – just to stop dead. The doctor that is seeing me at my most despicable moment is no other than freaking Sehun.

I might as well die right now – all my chances with this man have just ended. Dr. Jeong always affirms in her book that you must never – ever, ever – show yourself to your prey without being perfectly groomed. He will run away if you do that.

“So, you are feeling better now? The pain is gone?” I just nod like a dummy and Sehun smiles – the most beautiful smile in the world. I wish I could hide under the bed and cry to high heavens, but his eyes are twinkling as he looks at me and I can’t move. “You will need to rest for a couple of days. I guess I will have to live without my coffee, hum?”

I nod again like a moron.

“Well, you will have to come back in one week so that I can take another look at your cast. Do you have someone that can help you to get home?”

I nod again. Dr. Jeong would probably say that I have to use this opportunity to get closer to my darling prey, making him help me get home. But I just can’t. I must be so ugly right now that I’m feeling sad just thinking about it, I don’t get how he can be staring at me and smiling at the same time. He must just think about me as a patient, which is the only explanation to why he is able to withstand my ugliness.  

And all my chances are gone.

They are just gone.

“Then I will go now. Remember to rest and take care of your foot. I will see you at the coffee shop.” Sehun says and leaves with a wave to take care of his lucky patients - that probably do not look like Frankenstein’s bride. Most likely he will cure a beautiful young woman - that followed all of Dr. Jeong’s rules – and fall deeply in love with her, marry and run away into the sunset to live happily ever after.

When he leaves, Dr. Jongin tries to apologize for the tumble thing, but I dismiss him with a shake of my head. He goes away confused and turns to look at me every two steps. But I just need to stay alone for now. I call Woo Ri, asking for her to pick me up, and then hide under the blankets, letting my tears cascade on my face.

After what I showed Sehun there is no hope for us.

Dr. Jeong’s always says so.

_____

Step Four

When meeting your prey make eye contact but pretend you are shy. This is very important because men like to believe they are leading the relationship, and as any great General you must sometimes make your enemies think they are in charge, so that it becomes easier to attack.

When I go back to the coffee shop one week later, my boss tells me to just work as a cashier and rest until my foot heals, while Woo Ri will take care of all the orders. For a moment it makes me sad, knowing that I won’t be able to give Sehun all the caramel that his heart desires or make the heart figure in his coffee, till I realize that everything is useless anyway.

A love story between us will never happen. I ed up every single step from Dr. Jeong’s book so it’s not like they could work and bring me the man of my dreams. I must accept the fact that I will remain single the rest of my life, with no husband or children to call my own.

I might as well buy a cat and become a cat lady.

“Hey, Woo Ri, do you know where I could buy a cat?” Woo Ri stares at me like I’m mentally deranged and pats my head while making a comforting sound. I haven’t told her about my run in at the hospital with Sehun, but she must guess that something is wrong, because she saw me crying on my book on the back room earlier. I wish to enjoy her comfort, but I have to get over Sehun sometime and I feel that I already cried everything that I could for him, so I push her gently away. “Stop, I just want a cat, that’s all. I hear they are very good company.”

“Eun Young…” She sighs and smiles at me like if I was a child and she my kindergarten teacher. “You shouldn’t be getting a cat while you have a broken foot. How you will take care of it? Anyway, what the doctor said when you had your appointment yesterday?”

I avoid her eyes and mumble a response. I don’t need to tell anyone about my terrible doctor’s appointment with Sehun, in which I was so devastated that I couldn’t even look at him, imagine talking with him. The whole hour was him trying to joke and establish a conversation with me and me making my best not to cry and hold his legs, begging for another chance.

A very painful experience, overall. Hopefully it will never be repeated, since I asked the nurse in charge if I could change doctors for the next appointment with a flimsy excuse about being uncomfortable with a man touching my foot. She probably didn’t believe me, but she was a good person and made that charity, assuring me that next time a woman resident would see me.

That nurse is definitely going to Heaven.

The bell chimes and I look at the door to confirm my suspicions. It’s Sehun with Dr. Jongin and his crew of residents, coming to ask for their daily coffee. Before I would make sure that I would be the one taking and delivering their orders, but now I ask to take my break and with the help of my crutch I walk to the exit of the shop and sit on the bench outside.

Sehun’s eyes follow my path, in all probability wondering why I have changed him as my doctor or, you know, where his extra dose of caramel has gone. But I just can’t bear to stay in the same place as him, glancing at him and knowing that nothing will ever happen between us. And one day I will have to listen to him bragging about his perfect-out-of-this-world girlfriend and I will want to die or jump and demand to know who she is so that I can rip her apart.

So is better for all if I just remove myself completely from the equation.

With a sigh I sit on the bench and stretch my legs, feeling the pain that comes with it. Some pain is good now – it makes me fell less dead. There is a noise and I can see from the corner of my eye that someone sat at my side. For a moment I want to tell him to piss off because I really want to be alone, but everyone has the right to sit and dry on their sorrow so I let him be. I sigh again.

“You know, I never realized how much extra caramel you put on my macchiato until your friend started to make it. I think I might have an addiction problem.”

I turn my head so quickly that I basically sprain my neck to look at my new bench partner and my jaw hits the floor, because sitting by me with an adorable smile and light dimples is Sehun – my ex-almost-boyfriend.

I’m so surprised that I stay mute and he raises his eyebrows while grinning.

“But what I actually miss is the heart shaped figure that you used to put in my coffee. It actually made my day every time. I really miss it, so what about you go back in doing it, hum?”

I blink at him, extremely confused about what he means. He can’t mean what I think he means because…. Well, because I screwed up Dr. Jeong’s rules badly, so how could he even look at me right now, much less like me?

“Are you going to say something or I will spend the rest of my life paying an extra one point five thousand won for another dose of caramel?”

_____

One year later

Dear Dr. Jeong,

I’m so excited to be writing this letter! Your book made wonderful things happen in my life. I know that you probably get letters like this one every day, but your out-of-this-world book made it possible for me to get the man of my dreams!

Now we have been dating for a year and life is simply wonderful. I have finally graduated and my honey bear has been flourishing in his residency. Just last week he took me to meet his family, and you know what that means, right?

So, anyway, I really – really – need a copy of your new book, “Dr. Jeong’s Amazing Four Simple Steps to Marriage”, after all I can hear the bells, as they say.

All my thanks from your number one fan,

Choo Eun Young

_____*_____

A/N: All the information about hospitals and their treatment was completely made up for comic purposes and most not be taken seriously – I know nothing about hospitals, so please don’t consider any of that as reality.