For awhile I thought I was blessed to have my last wish answered. I got to still be with you through everything. You couldn’t see me or feel me, but I was there. As time went by, I realized it was also a curse. I wanted you to see me, to feel me. I wanted you to know there was someone who loved you unconditionally.

I moved so that I was sitting in the same spot as the bear. Even if you weren’t aware of my presence, to me it felt like I was holding you. You were crying over a drama, but why does it make my heart hurt so much to see you cry? Moments like these I wished more than anything to not be a ghost. To be a normal, living boy again. Maybe then you would see me. Maybe then I could hold you for real. Maybe then you would know how much I love you.