Baekhyun

The room erupted in screams and arguments, the electronic buzz of the TV still ringing in our ears behind the -out monitor.

“We’re going to die!”

“What about my fans!”

“We’ve got to run away!”

“But I’m engaged!”

Tao rolled back on his arse and kicks his feet in the air, babbling incessant worries and nonsenses. Sehun ran around the room, grabbing our shoulders and yelling unanswerable questions to our faces. I felt Chanyeol roll over on the couch and bury his head into my smaller frame, sobbing in fear. Kris stood silent in the corner, taking small breaths, and Suho waved his arms around the centre of the room, trying unsuccessfully to calm the room.

I couldn’t bear it; it was too much to take in. Terrorists?Murderers? That’s what the world thinks of us now? I was supposed to become a famous singer, now I’m afraid that I’ll be stuck inside this warehouse for the rest of my life, too scared to step foot outdoors where someone might discover my identity. Should we have worn masks all those times we saved the world? Who knows what I look like?

My ears rang from the sounds of eleven different voices talking loudly at once, melding into a headache-inducing throb in my brain. I held my head in my hands, turning on the brightest light I could conjure to overtake my senses. My eyes were blocked out, unable to see a single thing but the pure white. The light maxed out my eyes, blocked out my ears with the silence of post-explosion light.

I took a deep breath in my white meditation room. We needed to keep our heads, or, regain whatever we lost in the past minute. Before we start to fix ourselves, I needed to sort out myself first.

My name is Baekhyun.

I love Chanyeol.

I love light.

I love the Twelve protectors.

I love the Tree.

I am a protector.

I am a hero.

The Dark is back.

The Dark has the media.

The Dark has protectors.

I am in danger.

We are in danger.

Chanyeol is in danger.

We are alive.

I took another minute to fill myself with clean air, breathing in as deep as I could before letting my lungs empty themselves of any stale air.

I stood up, letting the white blocking my senses fade away until I once again heard and saw the distraught in the living room. I decided to let everyone else find their serenity the same way I did; alone.

Large-scale light manipulation used to be difficult for me; then I was possessed by the Dark. The Dark unlocked my potential, showing me more of what my power can do. I raised my arms around me, and snapped my wrists upwards. The lights went out, and no light shone through the windows. Pitch blackness, zero visibility.

The others quickly shut up, falling into the silence of the lights. I heard heavy breathing, and the quiet rustling of material around me. Eventually, I allowed light to shine from my core, drawing attention to myself until the light grew to the entirety of the room. Silence occupied the apartment, and I felt eyes burning into me like toddlers watching their kindergarten teacher.

I didn’t say a word. It wasn’t my position to speak for the team. Instead, I turned towards Suho, stepping backwards until I felt the familiar texture of the couch touch the back of my knees. I ignored the quiet ‘ouch’ Chanyeol let out as I accidentally sat on his hand and listened to Suho.

“Okay. Uh, thanks for that, Baekhyun.” Suho started, unsure of where to start his famous inspirational speech. “We should… we should… well… obviously they know who some of us are… and…”

“Let’s write down what we know.” Kris suggested.

“Good idea, Kris… we’ll find a piece of paper and write down what we know! Get it onto something we can see!” Suho leaped onto the idea of doing something productive, happy that Kris had saved him from the awkward stammering.

“We don’t have time to use paper we have a lot to go through.” Tao said and pulled out a thick black marker, scrawling BAP on the wall, and circling it messily. Kai gasped as his white wall was tainted with the messy handwriting.

“It’s okay, we’ve got some spare paint, we can fix it later.” Kyungsoo assured Kai quietly.

“Write down the names of the BAP members, Tao.” Sehun asked. Together we all managed to remember the six names and had a small list under the title of BAP.

Chanyeol stood up and took the marker. “I recognised this guy, Himchan,” he said, drawing an arrow from his name and writing metal to signify his power. With help from Luhan, Nature was written next to Daehyun.I pointed out that the guy who attacked me was Jongup, so Tao wrote ghosting next to his name.

“Tao! Technically it’s called intangibility!” Chanyeol argued.

“Whatever, hyung, ghosting sounds cooler!” Tao whined.

“Didn’t any of you guys watch X-men? Fine, keep it as ghosting.” Chanyeol grumbled.  

We wrote down our names on a separate list, and crossed off those of us who had been attacked. Luhan, Xiumin, Chanyeol, Chen, Myself, Sehun, Kyungsoo and Kai. Only four of us had been safe: Suho, Kris, Tao and Yixing. It was a small and saddening number.

We created a lot more lists and brainstorms. We brainstormed the essentials that we need to pack in case of an emergency, and the list of people who would be most dangerous to us. We wrote down what little we knew about BAP, as well as our own powers.

“I wonder what the other powers are…” Sehun said, “Maybe one of them is super fast, or has super strength. What if one of them has the same powers as one of us? I don’t think I can handle another air controller.”

“The way things are going, we’ll probably find out soon.” Yixing said gloomily from his position on the floor.

“We should leave. Get out. We’re not safe here.” Suho said.

“Where would we go?” I asked.

“A new apartment?the countryside? A different country?” Tao scribbled down different ideas.

“I don’t think they know that I’m a protector.” Yixing said. “If I disappear, they would know I am one of us. I should stay and keep making public appearances. After all, if we are going to be hunted, I would like to heal as many people as possible first.”

“So we stay in Korea for now?” Xiumin asked.

“We’ll go to an apartment closer to the city, for now.” Suho decided. “It’ll only be temporary, until we find a more permanent and safer spot. We just need to get out of here now. So, you guys all know what to pack? Luhan, can you paint over this quickly? Just throw the paint over it and spread it around quickly. Sehun can dry it later.”

We split off and went our separate ways to start packing. Some of us headed off in the direction of the training warehouse to pack our gear, and others went to the kitchen or their bedrooms to pack the essentials.

I needed to speak with Suho, but when I reached him, Kris had already beat me there, talking about the exact same thing I was going to.

“Suho, there’s not many clouds, you should speak with the Tree.” Kris said “Maybe she can help figure this whole thing out for us.”

“I will… I just, I need to take a bit of a break. Tonight has been hectic. Can you speak with her? You had a connection too.”

“I… I’ve tried. I’ve given up. I’m no longer a protector. You’ve heard the Tree speak. She calls you Water, and Tao Time, and I used to be called Flight. Now… now I’m just Kris. I’m an ex-protector. I have no connection to the Tree. I’m regular.”

“Hey, don’t give up hope. We’ll figure something out. At least you’re back in the air now.” Suho said.

“It’s a plane, Suho. A ing plane! It barely flies. It’s clunky and can barely turn! Basically useless!”

“It’s something,” Suho took Kris by the shoulders and looked into his eyes, calming him down before he had another panic stricken depression attack. “And for now, we’ll have to make do. You are a protector, power or none. At the moment, all we need to do is work on protecting ourselves.”

I start to back away, thinking I’m ruining the leader-bonding with my presence, when Chanyeol’s angry yell came echoing around the room.

“BAEKHYUN?!”Chanyeol stomped in, directing the member’s attention towards the two of us. “WHY IS THERE A GRIZZLY BEAR IN OUR BEDROOM? THIS IS HARDLY THE TIME FOR ING PRANKS WE COULD DIE ANY MOMENT AND YOU WANT TO GO AROUND ING WITH ME BY PUTTING GRIZZLY BEARS-“

I reach Chanyeol and shush him. “I’m so sorry, I made it before… I was working on my illusions and I thought I finally made something look close to life-like. I was trying to scare you as a prank, but that was before we were attacked by BAP and I just… I’M SO SORRY.”

I burst out sobbing, and collapse into Chanyeol’s arms. He my hair and murmured into my ears.

“Hey I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you. I’m just scared. We’re up against the Dark again, and I’m not sure I can handle it. Last time you had to break all of the others’ hands. You still cry about it in your sleep. You can barely hold my hand tightly now. I just don’t want that to happen again, but it is.”Chanyeol paused, running his long fingers through my hair. “It’s amazing, by the way, your best illusion yet. Almost lifelike, basically perfect.”

I turn my head to look at the bedroom. My illusion stands in the doorway, a two and a half meter grizzly bear. I made the eyes a bit wonky, and the jaw still needs some work, but I’m amazed at my illusion skills when the grizzly falls to a four-feet standing position and lets out a ferocious roar. Fur ripples over its skin, and droplets of spittle fly out of its mouth as the roar continues. The roar is silent; I’ve never been able to make sound. I work only with the visual sides of things.

The bear starts to walk out of the bedroom, just as Kyungsoo walks past with his arms burdened with a box of pots and pans. Kyungsoo walks right through the bear, yelping in surprise and dropping the box with a loud clash.

“Baekhyun!”Kyungsoo yells. “Get rid of this bear!”

I wave my hand through the air like I was cleaning a window, and the grizzly dissipated into nothing. I was sad to see it go. My past illusions haven’t been as good; I was making copies of myself that looked like they were from an early 3D modelling video game when I started. The Dark taught me a lot, but he didn’t teach me everything. I had to learn some things myself.

‘I’ll go pack now.” I say, leaving Chanyeol’s embrace.

“Actually, Baekhyun, I was hoping to talk with you first.” Suho said.

Suho reached into his pocket and pulled out a small journal. We’d all become familiar with this journal, we call it Suho’s magic journal of the road to enlightenment, or the enlightenment journal for short.

Ever since we’d been possessed by the Dark, our powers had been ‘unlocked’. Luhan’s style had changed completely, his talents were close to limitless, and Kyungsoo barely had to concentrate on using his powers. For me, I discovered that I could turn myself invisible, and I like to think that the Dark guided me to starting the creation of my illusions.

“Suho, you’ve already questioned Luhan and Kyungsoo. Both of them have been much more enlightened than me.”

“But you’ve made the most progress without the Dark.” Suho pointed out.

Suho has been obsessed with the enlightenment. His goal was to find the enlightenment for all of us. There was a page for each of us, dotted with ideas of what our full powers could do. Some of the ideas are a bit farfetched, but some made a lot of sense. Suho’s page was the most full; we found that water had endless possibilities of improvement, and Suho had been trying to unlock his enlightened stage for ages. After the segment dedicated to each of our powers there came the journal section. Here Suho wrote down his experiments of his journey to unlock his power, documenting his progress.

I gave in and allowed Suho to question me. It was basic, almost unanswerable questions. ‘what do you feel when you create illusions’ and ‘how fast did you improve’ were simple enough, yet I couldn’t answer how to start unlocking powers; I had the Dark for that.

I finished packing my bag, fitting all my belongings into a large suitcase and a small backpack. Lastly, I packed my little ‘nightlight’, a small birdcage with a flaming bird inside; a gift from Chanyeol when I confessed my fear of the dark.

I glanced over at my bench where a thick stack of papers lay unpacked. I shuffled through a few of the papers. They were all unpublished, unrecorded music ideas. I trace my fingers over the stave, feeling the notes as they dance up and down with trills and glisses. Sometimes the notes would fall off the stave; reaching so low that it was held to the music only through ledger lines.  Other times they would flow with a smooth legato, the Bass melding with the treble to produce the most beautiful music that made you want to sway over the dance floor in Chanyeol’s arms. I traced my fingers around the treble clef, my hard work.

I don’t want anyone getting this work.

With a last, painful decision, I reached into the sock drawer and found one of Chanyeol’s lighters. I lit the corner of the music, and the flames grew up the edge of the page, dancing to the music’s melodies. I placed the burning page back on the pile and watched as the orange dancers sank down the pile; dancing to the music one last time. When the last page shrivelled up in heated ash, the smoke alarm went off.

Chanyeol burst through the door “Baek are you okay? Was there a fire-“He noticed the blackened remains of sheet music swirling around my body in the wind the door created. “No, No No! Your music, you burned it? All your work! Miracles in December was in that pile!”

“I don’t want anyone else getting it.” My voice cracked under the sadness. Chanyeol stepped in and embraced me once again in a warm hug. “Besides, I’ll remember the important ones. I’ll write new songs. More dances, more ballads, more music.”

I slept on the bed fully clothed next to Chanyeol, sheet music ashes still scattered in my hair and on the bed. At one in the morning, I noticed the light was still on outside our room. I created an illusion of myself, sleeping next to the unconscious Chanyeol. I kicked off my shoes and shucked my dirty shirt, replacing it with the shirt I usually wear to sleep. I made myself invisible.

Honestly, I’ve never done this before. I’ve never snuck around, invisible amongst my teammates. I’ve never created a false me to hide the fact that I’ve disappeared.

I just figured that I should say goodbye to this place. Again. This time it’s unlikely we’ll make it back. I open the door and silently walk outside.

Most of the others were asleep. I saw a sleepy Kyungsoo pull something out of the oven, rubbing his heavy eyes and yawning cutely. Kai appeared behind him and wrapped his arms around Kyungsoo’s waist, turning off the oven and untying his apron. Kai kisses Kyungsoo’s neck slowly and intimately, lifting the apron from around Kyungsoo’s neck and using his thumb to clean a smudge of flour off his cheek.  Led by the hand, Kyungsoo is pulled to their bedroom to sleep, leaving the unfinished cooking on the counter.

I walked around the kitchen, lightly touching my fingertips around the counters and through the handles of the worn drawers. I remember when the kitchen was just a bench with a kettle plugged into the side, before we decided to make this place our headquarters, and Kyungsoo demanded that some work be done. On the counter there lay a tray of uncut brownies, a bowl of chocolate frosting left unspread to the side. I dip my finger into the frosting and off the chocolate, savouring Kyungsoo’s delicious cooking. I don’t know when I’ll get to taste his cooking again. We might not even get a proper kitchen in the future.

I walk through the main room. Yixing sits on the couch, his head rolled back and his mouth open, drool slowly seeping down his mouth. In his hand is a wireless mouse, and beside him is his laptop. I look over his shoulder and read the unsent email.

Dear Dr. Kang Jihoon,

I don’t think I can make it to both the opening of the new hospital as well as help out with the heart transplant on the 21^st this month; I’m currently working at the Yixing Centre for 14 hours each day and I’m running out of healing energy. Is it possible that we could postponnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

He had obviously fallen asleep in the midst of typing his letter. I take a look at Yixing’s face. Choosing to go public with his powers was a courageous thing to do, and now the signs of weariness were showing on his face. His expression no longer showed the bright happy healer who introduced me to Suho and Kris. He no longer compliments our clothes, or ruffles my hair, or sings while he walks around the apartment. He is overworked. His eyes are constantly barely open, and the dark circles underneath them would never be covered with average makeup.  I missed smiling Yixing, the Yixing with the dimples and the cheery attitude, and I know that Tired Yixing misses Happy Yixing too.

I hear a small snuffle and for the first time I notice Sehun, curled up on the couch with his head in Yixing’s lap. His expressionless face had dropped, showing a tired, almost defeated expression. I knew that once he woke up, the hardworking Sehun would appear once again, but in this moment of relaxation, I feel that the true Sehun is showing through.

His brow is furrowed, and his mouth twitches slightly, as if he is in a bad dream. I look down at his hands, clutching a couch cushion tightly to his body, the knuckles whitening under the strain from a nightmare. He starts mumbling, talking in his sleep. I reach down with an invisible hand and take his hands in my own, daring to whisper “shhh, it’ll be okay.” His brow relaxes, and his knuckles loosen. A tear drops down his face, running over the bridge of his nose, passing his other eye and over the top of his cheekbone, and he turns his head further into Yixing’s lap.

I keep walking through the apartment. A lump in Xiuhan’s bed shows that Xiumin is asleep, but I wonder where Luhan is. In Tao and Kris’s shared room, Kris sits on the edge of his bed, sobbing into his hands while Tao sits beside him, his smaller frame against Kris’s muscly arms. Tao rubs circles into Kris’s back, and judging by the slow sobbing seeping through Kris’s tear-stained hands, he had been crying for a while. As I start to walk out, I notice that Tao’s cheek glistens with the reflection of tears too, but he continues to look after Kris.

I make my way over to the training warehouse next door. I hear grunting and thumping coming from the corner of the room, and I turn to see a sweaty Luhan and Suho battling in the corner. They fight ferociously; their fists connecting with blocking arms heavily, feet slapping against their flanks and thighs, echoing throughout the empty training room. Their hair is thick with sweat, plastered against their foreheads as they continue to fight. Luhan shows dark circles under his eyes and I know he must be tired too, but Suho lets out another grunt of effort and I realise that Luhan is here to help Suho, the exhausted leader.

With a heavy kick to the chest, Luhan is knocked back against the back wall, sliding down to the floor in defeat. Not finished with his pent-up anger and frustration, Suho spins on the balls of his feet, drawing lengths of water from the barrels kept to the sides. Grunting, he slices a blade of water down through a punching bag, letting the lower half fall to the ground and empty sand all over the floor. He slices once again through the leftovers of the punching bag, and then channels his water like a great big hose through a pile of heavy barrels.

They sit for a while, panting in exhaustion. Suho stands with his hands on his knees, struggling to keep his breath, while Luhan takes a moment to close his eyes and lean back against the cool wall of the warehouse.

“You should get some sleep.” Suho said between pants.

“You sure you don’t want to train more?” Luhan asks.

“You need it. I need it too, I should go talk with the Tree.” Suho wiped his forehead with a towel, walking off to the exits. I leave before Suho reaches me.

I walk out the back door, the cool breeze meeting my face and the uncut, overgrown grass tickling my shins. Out in the far grass I can see Chen, facing away from me, meditating, watching the moon. Under the bright light of the moon, I watch as Chen sits, unmoving for ages, calm and alone. After a few minutes, he seems to finish meditating, looking back down to his lap. He fiddles with his shirt, and I realise he’s ing his shirt. When he takes off his shirt, I hold back a gasp as I see that Yixing’s tired job of healing didn’t do much on Chen. His arms are littered with scars, no longer bleeding but still visible in the red dots and bruise lines wrapping around his arms. Chen traces his fingertips tenderly over the lines of his bruises, and he winces under his touch. He shoulders on his shirt again, and I decide to head back inside.

 I stand for a while in the centre of the warehouse apartment. I dedicate a full five minutes to each of my senses. I close my eyes and focus on my nose, smelling the stench of twelve boys living under one roof, the faint hint of Kris’s cologne, the chocolaty smell of Kyungsoo’s kitchen, the sawdust and fresh paint from the renovations and the painted-over wall.

I listen to the sounds of everyone breathing. I listen to the tick of the clock, the sounds of Luhan or Suho running a shower, of Chen’s bare feet walking towards the room he shares with Suho. I listen to the sound of silence, the peacefulness of the apartment, focusing on how it makes me feel safe. I listen to each small sound, and how it echoes off the walls, and how the smallest cough could be heard five times, each time getting quieter and quieter.

I feel the cold floor under my feet, the uneven tiles under my toes. I rub my feet along a tile, tracing its edge, focusing on the bumps of the tiles and the dirt not vacuumed off it. I feel the cold air on my bare arms, forming small goosebumps prickling down my biceps.

I whisper a soft goodbye to the apartment before I crawl back into bed with Chanyeol, snuggling myself deep into his embrace.

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Hi guys! Sorry it took so long, I've been preoccupied with school work, so i completely missed a week of updates... :\ oops. 

Just so you know because it came to my attention that there is a bit of competition between EXO and B.A.P fans, I have nothing against B.A.P at all. In fact, Yongguk is my future husband, he just doesnt know it. I needed a six member group to add into the story, and B.A.P is both well known and I saw themlive recently in Melbourne, so I was pretty inspired and wanted to add them to the protector world.

See you all next chapter! Keep commenting and subscribing!

-- Pantherhyung