Chapter Forty-Two

Sehun's POV

The sun rays which passed the uncovered part of the windows woke me up as it shone brightly on my closed eyes. I smiled unknowingly from the warmth I felt. Or maybe it was because of the good mood I felt from having a nice and deep sleep in such a long time. Ever since I became a trainee and had to live with the other members, it had been a long time since I could sleep comfortably. But ever since yesterday, I managed to have a deep sleep which made me smile at the thought.

It was probably thanks to the date I managed to have with Su Mi thanks to the members. I still remembered Luhan suggesting the idea during our dinner time when Su Mi was on break. I even gave him a punch on his shoulder because sometimes, I swear he's a genius.

I stretched my arms and looked around the room. I frowned at the sight since I was alone in my room. Did I sleep too much and woke up too late? Thinking about it, I quickly took my cardigan and left the room.

"Oh you're finally up? Where's Su Mi?" Luhan asked the moment he came out of the bathroom with a towel over his shoulders. My eyebrows furrowed as I looked around the empty living room. "She's not here?" I asked him back instead.

"I woke up a few hours ago and surprisingly, no one was here except for the members," Luhan told me. That's strange.

I rushed back to my phone and took my phone instantly to dial her number. I cursed when the number was unavailable because her phone was turned off. But it was in the morning and where could she be without us?

"Su Mi," Just then, Baekhyun came out of his room as well. I raised a brow at his nest hair which signalled that he probably just woke up as well. He was yawning as he looked at Luhan and I, stopping in his foot-steps. He gave us the curious puppy look as he widened his eyes.

"What is it? Where's Su Mi? I'm hungry," he yawned again right after asking the question.

I frowned at him calling for her so casually, causing me to roll my eyes. Who is he to ask her for everything? "If you're that hungry, get food yourself," I threw Luhan's towel at him, annoyed as I walked into the living room. I heard Luhan chuckling from behind as he mumbled a 'Serve you right," to Baekhyun.

At that moment, the door opened and my lips curled to a wide smile, thinking Su Mi was probably back. I ran to the door but my smile instantly fade when I see Ji Hyun coming in.

"Where's Su Mi?" I asked immediately in a rather cold tone. Didn't Su Mi already returned from break and didn't Ji Hyun just left yesterday?

Somehow, I felt something wrong and sick in my stomach.

"Erm...About that," Ji Hyun was interrupted when a few other guys came in to our dorm. My eyes rounded, surprised at their sudden visit. Who are they even?

"Who are they?" Baekhyun asked just in time as he stared at the men who just entered and walked past us to enter our rooms. "Hey! Why are they going into our rooms?" Baekhyun whined as he followed them to probably stop them. I wasn't even smiling anymore because I had a really bad feeling about it and I turned to Ji Hyun and grabbed her wrist rather harshly.

"Where's Su Mi? What's going on?"

"Sehun...You need to listen carefully.." She started but I furrowed my eyebrows just from hearing that.

"Su Mi's fired...Because they found out you're dating her," Ji Hyun whispered to me. At that moment, I thought I heard it wrong because it took me a while to process her words. "What?" Only that word could escape my mouth as I was stunned.

"Those guys are here to pack Su Mi's belongings because you're not allowed to see her," Ji Hyun said in a rather careful tone but I couldn't help but grew extremely worried about Su Mi. I wasn't even listening to her anymore because I just needed to know where Su Mi was. I needed to see her.

My instincts somehow told me that she would be crying by herself right now and I couldn't let that happen. My grip on Ji Hyun's wrist tightened as I stared at her.

"Where's Su Mi now?" I asked.

"Sehun...You're not allowed to-"

"Where is she?!" I raised my voice and Ji Hyun flinched at my tone. Luhan seemed to have caught up with what was happening as he quickly came over and held my hand, removing it from Ji Hyun's wrist. "Sehun, you shouldn't-"

I rushed past Luhan without listening to him as I left the dorm before they could stop me. I started to dial Su Mi's number continuously as I took a cab to the SMTOWN company first but she wasn't picking up. I bit my lips anxiously. Please tell me she's there. Please let her be alright. I couldn't even be bothered bout anything else or whether our relationship was finally exposed anymore. My grip on my phone tightened as I told the driver to speed up.

I rushed to the counter at the office as I asked the lady at the counter where Su Mi was. I was beyond flustered when she said that she was called to Lee Soo Man's office and I grew more anxious as each second pass. Before I knew it, I was going to barge into Lee Soo Man's office but he seemed to have saw that coming because the body guards stopped me before I could do it.

I was blocked from entering his office and they refused to let me in. "Let me go!" I shouted as they held onto my arms. Another representative came over to tell me that I was forbidden from seeing him and that I was under watch as punishment for dating. They were going to remove all form of contact I have with Su Mi and I would always be under watched. I couldn't even care at the moment about what they were going to do to me because I just needed to see Su Mi.

Luhan came to stop me at the company as he pulled me away from creating trouble. "Sehun, listen. This may not be the best choice now. You know it's not wise to get on his nerves," Luhan grabbed both my shoulder as he talked some sense into me.

"Just listen to them now, we will decide what to do after this," Luhan whispered to me to prevent the other guards from hearing as he guided me away from them. I bit my lips as my fists were clenched so hard that I had to refrain myself from creating trouble.

I breathed in and out to calm myself as I exhaled and nodded to Luhan's words, agreeing with him.

"Let's go, everyone's waiting for you," he said before pulling me with him to return back to the dorm. I cursed because Su Mi wasn't picking up her phone at all and I was so worried I felt that I was going crazy. This can't be the end of us. There's no way she's going to end our relationship like this.

When I got back to the dorm, things turned for the worse because our manager got switched to this masculine guy who was pretty strict on us. They confiscated our phones and I couldn't contact Su Mi because of that. Even though I was angry at her for leaving me without saying anything , I felt that nothing was more important than her well-being now. I just hoped she really wasn't crying.

If there weren't guards outside the house, I would have rushed to barge in her house and demanded for her to talk to me face-to-face. My emotions were on a roller coaster ride because it was driving me insane in my room. Pacing around the room wasn't even helping because I couldn't bear to think of my future now.

I just couldn't picture it without Su Mi.

I felt my heart burned and break at the same time when I thought of how insignificant our relationship meant to her if she was just going to break it off because of this incident. I clenched my fists as I sat on my bed. But the moment I close my eyes, all I could think of was her and I couldn't help but quiver as tears came rolling down my cheeks. But even though I felt all the fury in me, deep inside I knew that the moment I see her, I could forgive her for anything and just return to how we used to be.

Because I love her too much.

I couldn't do it without her and I wouldn't let her end it like this. Just like Luhan said, I could wait for a few days for their security to loosen up before I do whatever it takes to find her and I would not lose her again. Not a second time after high school Sehun.

And with that, I listened to their orders for the next few days and went for our schedules as per usual. I tried my best not to create any troubles but life was really tough without Su Mi. I didn't even smile as long as there weren't cameras and I felt myself living a controlled life as if I were a robot.

The members did try to cheer me up and I really appreciated their existence but I really didnt have anything to replace the emptiness I felt for Su Mi. It was unbelievable how I even managed to survive until the day Luhan came into our room. We just ended our promotions for our comeback recently which was rushed to get us working. I was drained and bored, laying on my bed when he came into the room. He sat on the bed beside mine.

"Sehun," he called and I couldn't even be bothered so I just hummed as a reply, not even looking at him.

"Go to Busan tomorrow," Luhan said, causing me to raise a brow at his sudden words. I sat up and looked at him for him to continue his words. I was confused as to what he was talking about all of a sudden.

"What for?"

"I'll make sure they don't know you're there so go find her," Luhan said and I suddenly understood what he was talking about all of a sudden. My eyes watered from the sudden overwhelming emotions I felt in a long while as I looked at Luhan.

"She's at Busan?" I asked in a vulnerable voice and my voice was so close to cracking because I felt like crying.

"Yeah...Just go and find her and talk things out. I actually met her a few days ago and honestly, she didn't look all that well as well.." Luhan sighed and I swallowed as I stared at him.

"Thanks hyung," I barely muttered out as he gave me a 'cheer-up' look and a pat on my shoulder before he stood up and left my room.

I covered my face with my hands as I felt my tears flow out. Finally, I was going to see her. I grew so nervous at the thought I thought I couldn't breathe. But at the same time, I didn't know how I was going to start the conversation because even though I should be mad at her, I didn't think that would matter if I ever get to see her.

The next morning, I left the dorm early in the morning when everyone was still asleep. Since we actually had the day off to rest, we were supposed to stay in the dorm the whole day. It was also only the second day they dismissed the guards who were supposed to forbid us from going out.

I really wonder how Luhan was going to hide the fact that I disappeared or make any excuses for my absence but that would be the last thing on my mind now as long as I get to see Su Mi. I made sure to be as quiet as I could and Luhan even helped me to check whether the staffs were sleeping. After succesfully leaving the dorm, I quickly got on a taxi to drive me to the train station.

My heart skipped a beat at the thought of seeing Su Mi again and I really hoped to see her doing fine.

As I reached the train station, the moment I got off the train, the familiar figure pulling a luggage caught my eyes. My eyes instantly grew wet as I bit my lips anxiously. It's her.

Su Mi was dressed in a simple white sweater and jeans and she was wearing a maroon beanie which covered her long brown hair but as per usual, she caught my breath. She pulled the luggage with her and walked to the counter. I discreetly tagged along behind her and purposely wore a mask and beanie to cover my face. I saw her bought a ticket and quickly head up the same counter and got the seat opposite of hers.

When we were in the train, I saw her struggling with her luggage and I chuckled to myself under the mask. I moved forward and helped her to lift the luggage up in a try. She thanked me simply without even looking at my face before she moved in to sit. I stared at her but decided to pretend nothing happened as I moved in to take the seat opposite of hers as well. She casted me this suspicious look before she dismissed the look and plugged in earpiece into her ears and closed her eyes in peace.

Slowly, I removed my mask to take a good look at her peaceful resting face. I couldn't help but smile a little as I missed her so much. It was like a dream to be this close to her after days of not seeing her and I gulped. Just as I was busy observing the little details about her, she suddenly opened her eyes and both our eyes met. My heart skipped a beat at the contact.

Your POV

“Are you really not going to answer me? So you’re just going to ignore your lovely boyfriend who came all the way from Seoul despite his busy schedules?” Sehun chimed in a tune while whistling as he followed behind me. I definitely hadn’t spoken a single word since I noticed his presence in the train and I was currently making my way to my grandma’s house which was rather deep in the woods as there were no buses there since the place was in the countryside. I tried my best to not even meet eyes with him because it was really hard for me to even look at him.

Even though my heart ached to hear his voice because it was so long since I last heard him, I restrained myself from talking to him since I really wanted to end all of this. It was for the better.

Sehun suddenly stopped in front of me as he blocked my path. He waved a few fingers in front of my eyes as he looked at me curiously probably wondering what I was thinking.

“You know you can always tell me your thoughts instead of keeping them in your mind,”

I looked at him from head to toe and realised he probably rushed here in a hurry since he was wearing his sleeping casual clothes underneath his long thick black winter jacket. I looked away before taking a step to the right to avoid him but he blocked me again.

“Are you really not going to even look at me after I’ve come this far?” I could feel him pouting without even needing to look at his face.

“Just go home,” I replied curtly before I took another step to the left this time and brushing past him. I continued to walk up the hill as I made my way to my grandma’s house.

Throughout the journey, Sehun never listened to my words and continued to tag along behind me as he talked on and on about stories of s which I missed out when I wasn’t there with them. I was listening to them but I didn’t respond to any of his words, hoping he would just leave already. If he wasn’t going to leave, I would never be able to end it with him and in the end, this would just be harming him.

When we were almost near the house and I realised that he would probably follow me in if I don’t stop him, I finally stopped in my tracks as I spun around. Sehun looked surprised to see me finally meeting his eyes as his lips curled to a smile as he held onto his bag straps in anticipation.

“Why? You’re finally awknowledging my presence?” he asked with a wide smile.

I heaved a sigh in irritance as I ran a finger through my hair. I had been hinting at him that I didn’t want to continue with the relationship any longer now but still, he didn’t seem to quite get it. Or he was obviously ignoring it even though he could sense it now.

“Let’s break up,” I exhaled as I glared at him.

I tried my best not to waver or show any of my feelings, trying to cover it up with the annoyance I felt at him. I could see the change in his expression the moment he heard those words, as if he was already waiting for it. There was a twitch in his facial muscle before he quickly forced out a smile and took a step closer to me.

“Hey babe, I know you’re angry and all-“

I pulled my hand away when he tried to touch me. I groaned and stomped my foot at the ground when I saw him acting this way.

“I’m not going to repeat my words. I’m sick of all of this. Let’s end this now,” I stared at him intensely as he seemed to not have any words to say. My heart was close to shattering at our situation but I bit my lips and my tears in as I looked at him. It’s for the better Su Mi. You must not destroy his career which he worked so hard for.

Sehun looked away for a few seconds in silence before he diverted his eyes back again at me.

“Why didn’t you answer to my calls and messages?” he asked instead. I was about to already scream and shout at him for ignoring all of my words but I could only scoff and pretend to be annoyed. (Or I already was because he wasn’t getting the point here)

“Do you not hear me-“

“Do you know how much I missed you?” he cut me off and the words seemed to suddenly got caught in my throat as I looked at him flustered with his sudden confession.

I softened slightly at his words. He seemed to have caught it as he was already in front of me before I knew it. He held onto my shoulders as he bent down to meet my eye level.

“Please babe, listen to me. I know life is hard now and everything...but you gotta listen to me-“

“If we break up it won’t be hard anymore,” I told him firmly, looking right back at him with the eyes that are trying to tell him I’m not going to change my decision.

“Please, don’t be like this.”

Sehun’s voice was already trembling and I tried to push his hands away from me but he held onto me even tighter.

“No, you dont be like this! It’s for the better. Both me and you and everyone,” I breathed out and I could feel my eyes getting teary. He was not getting the point here!

It was as if the sky knew of our situation because the next moment I realised, it started pouring. The big droplets of rain fell on the both of us but we didn’t seem to care at the moment because the conversation we were having was so much more important.

“Please...do you not remember how we broke up in high school? I don’t want to lose you again,”

Sehun was practically begging with his tone and I was already blinking my tears away, hoping that he wouldn’t see them since we were in the rain. I held onto his wrist before moving his hands away from me as I bit my lips.

“Listen, it’s only going to get worse if we keep dating. Look-I’ve already lost my job and I don’t want you to lose yours-“

“I don’t care if i lose my job!” Sehun raised his trembling voice.

I was startled by the thunder but at the moment, I blinked as the rain drops hit my eyes but I could clearly see it even with the rain. And that made me wonder if it was the same for him as well because I could patently see his tears streaming down his face.

Sehun was crying. Automatically, my hand went to gently carress his cheek as I swiped my thumb across his cheek.

“Look I don’t care if I lose my job, but I just can’t lose you. Not twice.” he exhaled as he held onto my wrist.

“But I know how hard you’ve worked for this. Please, let’s just end it. I know how hard it is for the both of us.” I couldn’t even control anymore because tears were trickling down my face continuously and I didn’t even want to hide it anymore. I just wanted him to listen to me for once and stop being so stubborn.

“Please...Su Mi,”

His voice had already turned weak and softer as he pulled me who was already sobbing into his embrace. He hugged me while holding onto the back of my head. The both of us were already drenched in rain as the rain mercilessly continued to hit on our bodies. Even though physically I was freezing to death in the rain, I could feel his warmth in his embrace.

“Please, don’t make it harder for me than it already is...I came here looking for you like a mad man to seek comfort from you because I missed you so much I thought I was losing it. I didn’t come here to have you ignore me and the next thing I know you’re hoping for a break up. Please babe, I’m not here for more pain than I already have,”

His voice was shaking so much, showing how fragile he felt at the moment. I felt my heart sting from his words because I realised he was hurting...as much as me or even more than me. I snifled in his shaking embrace before I gently pulled him apart so I could see his face.

The moment I saw it, I felt my heart shredded to pieces because his nose was red as his eyes were sparkling from the tears that welled up in them. His lips were quivering and he looked like he was going to break any moment. Sehun was so vulnerable and I couldn’t do anything.

“Sehun-“ I stared at him intensely as I touched his face under the rain.

His hair was already dripping wet and so was his face and mine. I was so heartbroken at the sight that greeted my eyes that I was frozen on spot.

Sehun was breaking at the moment and I needed to do something. He was staring right back at me as if waiting for me to do something as his lips were shaking.

My eyes travelled down to his lips as I took a short breath before I leaned in and capture those shaking lips.

He needed any sort of comfort and I couldn’t think of anything else but to kiss him because he was already breaking. I could feel his moist lips and tasted rainwater as I pressed my lips on his. Sehun was slightly shuddering due to the coldness before both of his hands reached to cup my cheeks as he breathed in while pulling me closer. I could feel his face was sticky from the tears and I closed my eyes to feel more tears dripping down my face as well.

He tilted his face to deepen the kiss as the rain continued to pour on us relentlessly. We didn’t care at the moment since all I could think of was how he was in my arms being broken which is a side of him I rarely saw and that we were kissing as I try to piece up his broken self. He bit on my bottom lip and swiped his tongue along it before nibbling on my lips. I tried to on his lips.

Our kiss got slightly sloppier since the both of us were wet and still under the rain. Sehun was the first to pull away when he finally stopped my lips.

He blinked his eyes under the rain as he stared at me, looking out of breath and in disbelief at what just happened. He pulled me to him before resting his chin on my head and the back of my head.

“Don’t ever tell me to break up with you again,” he warned.

I felt my heart beating at an incredible speed since everything happened too fast and it was too overwhelming for me at the time. I nodded at his words timidly as all I could think of was that I did not want to see a broken Sehun ever again. That was a sight I only needed to see once in a lifetime and I never wanted to see it again because I don’t think my heart could take it if I happen to see it another time.

[A/N]: It's been long since I've last left an author's note but it will be a while before you guys can have the next chapter because I'm going to be busy the next few months :( But anyways, I promise by the end of the year this fanfic will come to an end and I will definitely finish this so please do stay with me :( Lastly, do leave comments because comments keep me going  and I’ll try my best to reply to them! :( The number of comments are decreasing every update and it's just pretty sad I guess :( But nonetheless, thanks for all your love and support. I hope you guys liked this chapter!