If you turn twenty-nine this year that means she will turn…?

Jessica groaned lowly. She ruffled her own hair and walked to the window, to see the darkness outside. The night was getting older and she couldn’t sleep. Not even for a second she could. Every time she tried to close her eyes, she couldn’t stand the urge to open it again. The heavy thoughts kept bugging her. And she was too hopeless not to think about it.

It wasn’t the problem, though. She was used to depriving in sleep. She loved sleeping, but it wasted her time. And there was another problem instead.

She called it the countdown.

And the time was about to come.

She didn’t exactly know when the countdown would end. All she was sure was, the time was near and she should be very much prepared for it. It made her anxious. Even overly anxious until she felt like a coward.

Sometimes Jessica wondered, if she didn’t choose to live like this, would she be happy? If she could just throw away her fake self, being her true one and live freely, how would that feel? The thoughts sometimes made her excited. And when it happened she told herself to stop thinking about that immediately.

Simply because it wouldn’t happen.

Finding nothing but darkness outside, Jessica turned her head to the room. Tiffany was sleeping soundly on the bed, inside Jessica’s bedroom. She didn’t need much time to drift into her dreamland meanwhile Jessica was having her usual insomnia. The soft sounds of her slight snore assured Jessica that Tiffany was in her deep slumber.

Slowly, she sat down on the bed, eyes on Tiffany. The girl looked really beautiful, even beyond that. Jessica cracked a smile. Staring at the sleeping Tiffany could calm her a little bit. The girl clearly didn’t know how much she meant for Jessica. She had no idea. And Jessica didn’t have any plan to tell her either.

Couldn’t resist anymore, Jessica bent down and kissed Tiffany’s forehead, and it did in woke the girl up.

“Hmm… Jessi?”

“Yeah?” Jessica smiled, tucking Tiffany’s hair behind her ear, “Sorry for waking you. Go back to sleep, Fany.”

Tiffany caught Jessica’s hand and pulled her down, “Where are you going? Sleep with me…”

“Nowhere.” Jessica shook her head and joined Tiffany on the bed, “Alright, sleep.”

When Jessica felt Tiffany’s steady breath on her neck, she let out a sigh. She pulled the blanket to cover both of them and tightened her arms around the girl. She rested her chin on the crown of Tiffany’s head and tried to sleep. Hopefully she did this time.

As her eyes closed, her thoughts screamed in the head.

How many times left for me to be with you?

-

“Catch!”

Jessica’s hand swiftly caught a can of cold coffee that her colleague, Kim, threw at her. Kim, who apparently just had a short visit to the canteen, sat across her and drank her own can greedily. She also bought cookies and some chips. Jessica raised her eyebrows at the shorter woman. Kim was never this kind. And her appetite seemed much different from before.

“What?” Kim shrugged, “You look sleepy and doomed, Jung.”

“Do I?”

“Uh-huh. Now drink. It’ll help, even though just a bit.”

“Caffeine doesn’t really work on me, but thanks anyway.”

Kim nodded, “Is it bothering you that much?”

“What?”

“The countdown.”

Of course. Jessica had never spent a single second without thinking about it since the day Kim reminded her. Or more like, worrying about it. She was so anxious and a little bit paranoid. She couldn’t predict the future. She didn’t know what would happen when the time comes. It’s a good thing she was used to her fake self.

“Yeah.” Jessica simply answered, putting the can down.

“I can see that. But shouldn’t you be glad, though? I mean, when the time comes you’ll finally get your life. Not just you, but us, Jung. Isn’t that great?”

“You know it’s not that easy.”

“I know, but hey,” Kim crossed her arms, “what is easy in our job, huh? I’ve never heard that word before.”

Jessica chuckled, “You’re kind of right. Growing up with this job doesn’t help much.”

“I know, right. Don’t be too hard on yourself.” Kim did the same before she turned serious, “By the way, I was wondering about…”

She left her sentence hanging as she stood up from where she was sitting, walked to her own working desk and pulled one of the drawers to take some papers, before she sat down across Jessica again. She threw the papers onto Jessica’s desk and the latter grabbed it. There were pictures of no other than Tiffany.

“Who is she?”

“Uh… isn’t this Tiffany?” Jessica raised her eyebrows.

Kim rolled her eyes, “I know, duh. I mean, this girl.” She bent over the table and pointed at one of the faces on the picture.

Jessica didn’t realize the main focus weren’t only on Tiffany. There was another girl too. One of the pictures was taken in the school’s corridor. She could see Tiffany sitting on the floor face to face with the girl, who seemed like her schoolmate. Jessica frowned at Kim. What was wrong with these pictures?

“Her schoolmate, maybe? I don’t know. Why are you so curious?”

“Well… didn’t you say that Tiffany always hangs out with like, more than three friends at once? I agree with that. She makes a lot of friends, Jung. You know that. But in these pictures there are only the two of them. Don’t you think it’s kind of strange? And it had happened for some time lately so I can’t help but feel curious…”

The slightly younger woman exhaled a breath. Typical Kim. She pays attention to details. Like, very much detail. Even Jessica wouldn’t notice that. She kept silent for a while, flipping the papers and Kim was right, it was strange seeing Tiffany hangs out with one friend only.

“It is, right?” Kim asked again, her back leaning on the chair’s backrest.

“Kind of. But what are you assuming?”

“Hmm…” She plunged a cookie into and said as she munched, “to be honest, my suspicious mind already flew far, far away… but then I realized that girl is just a mere schoolgirl and doesn’t have enough ability to do what I suppose her to do.”

Jessica nodded, her chin rested on her palm.

“So, Tiffany probably has a new best buddy that you still don’t know! That’s the best I can come up with.”

“Hmm… that makes sense.” Jessica nodded, eyes on the papers again, “But I’ve never seen this girl before. Usually Tiffany would bring her friends to meet me.”

“Oh, really? Like, every friend?”

“Yeah. And her dates too, of course.”

“Wow.” Kim clapped her hands, “What a protective sister you are. She must’ve felt uncomfortable with that. Why? Are you jealous?”

Jessica frowned instantly, “I-I’m not! I’m just trying to protect her as much as I can, alright? Beside, that’s what sisters do.”

“Uh-huh. If you say so.” Kim lazily nodded.

They fell into silence as Kim continued eating and Jessica kept staring at the pictures. When Kim wasn’t paying attention, Jessica smiled a bitter smile. Well, jealousy was her daily dose. A part of the risk, that unfortunately, strong enough to weakens her. Then again, Kim didn’t know anything about those things.

Just then Jessica’s phone buzzed. It was Tiffany texted her saying the school was going to end early. Jessica jumped off of her seat immediately.

“Got to go. Bye, Kim!”

-

The school was already crowded when Jessica arrived. Kim called her earlier when she was on the way, saying the bell rang seven minutes before Jessica came. Counting the time from Tiffany’s classroom to the front gate, it might need ten to fifteen minutes. So Jessica wasn’t late. She still had time to wait.

After Jessica parked her car, she got off and waited beside it with her back on the car’s door, her arms crossed. She saw some teachers and bowed at them. And minutes later, finally Jessica caught a glimpse of Tiffany walking to the front gate. She was about to smile before she saw who Tiffany was walking with.

The girl on the pictures earlier. And it was only the two of them.

Jessica eyebrows formed a slight frown at the sight. Yes, it was her. They walked together while talking, with Tiffany continuously laughing. Jessica loved seeing the laughing Tiffany, but this time she just didn’t. As Tiffany saw Jessica, she smiled and waved her hand.

Jessica did the same half-heartedly.

Her curiosity started to boil when Tiffany’s conversation with the girl didn’t end just like that. They kept talking, a few meters away from Jessica. And Jessica mentally said sorry to Tiffany as she sneaked her finger to her left ear, turning on the earphone.

“How about you?” She could hear Tiffany’s voice.

The girl answered, “It’s okay, I’ll take the bus.”

“Hmm… it must be fun. I really want to ride a bus too.”

“What? You never did?”

Tiffany shook her head, “No. My sister won’t let me.”

“Your sister?”

“Yup.” Jessica was a little bit startled when Tiffany pointed at her, “That’s my sister I’ve told you earlier.”

“Ah… I see.” The girl was hesitating in looking at Jessica because of the cold stare the latter gave her.

“Don’t be scared. She’s actually really kind! Let’s go meet her!” Tiffany pulled the girl’s wrist and that startled Jessica even more.

“W-what? But I--”

“It’s okay, I always introduce my friends to her. She needs to know everybody I’m befriending with. Come on, it’s okay!”

The girl gave up and followed Tiffany’s pull. Jessica turned off the earphone and suppressed an awkward smile as both of the girls approached her. Tiffany looked so enthusiastic but the girl was the opposite.

“Jessi! Meet my friend, this is Yuri!”

The girl named Yuri then nervously bowed, “H-hello… I’m Kwon Yuri.”

Jessica only slightly nodded her head and uncrossed her arms, “Hi, Yuri. I’m Jessica, Tiffany’s sister.”

Yuri looked at Jessica’s eyes for a split second with her lips pursed before she looked down to her feet again.

“I just want to introduce her to you, Jessi. You haven’t met her, right?”

“Right.”

“Err… Tiffany, I think I need to go.” Yuri said to Tiffany, “My mom is probably waiting for me now.”

“Oh I see… be careful on your way, okay?”

“I will. Bye, Tiffany.” Yuri then bowed at Jessica, “And… Tiffany’s sister.”

Again, Jessica only nodded her head.

“Bye, Yuri! See you tomorrow!”

Both Tiffany and Yuri waved at each other before Yuri walked away to the bus shelter not far from the school. After Yuri was pretty far, Jessica and Tiffany got inside the car and they drove home.

-

“She’s a new student in my class, Jessi. She was really shy and stuff so I introduced myself to her. I was her very first friend! She’s still awkward with the others so she mostly hangs out with me only, but next time I’ll make sure to bring her more friends! She’s also a quite nice friend to talk to, sometimes she resembles you because she rarely talks, she’s more like a listener so that’s why…”

Jessica didn’t ask anything. She shut close and buried her curiosity as deep as she could because she just didn’t want Tiffany to talk about that Kwon Yuri. It was a piece of cake for Jessica to dig people’s identities anyway. She could ask Kim and that closest colleague of hers would give it right away.

But Tiffany didn’t notice that. The non-stop talking was enough of a proof that Tiffany clearly didn’t realize Jessica’s uneasiness.

So Jessica could only listen. She didn’t have a heart to snap at Tiffany, telling her to stop talking just because she didn’t want to listen.

“You know what the first thing she said to me after we introduced each other?”

Jessica only hummed.

“She said my necklace is nice.”

Necklace. Jessica peeked at Tiffany for a second and the latter was holding the silver key hanging by the necklace she was wearing.

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah, I said it’s from you. Then our conversation continued.”

“You seem really like her.” Jessica commented, the longest sentence she said this far.

Tiffany shrugged and leaned her back, “I don’t know. I just feel really comfortable being with people like her, people like you.”

Jessica raised an eyebrow at being in the same sentence with Kwon Yuri.

“But, Jessi…” Tiffany tugged at Jessica’s arm.

Again, Jessica only hummed.

“Can’t you be nice to my friends, somehow?”

The older woman frowned, “I am nice.”

“You are.” The girl nodded, “But you don’t look like you are. My friends are mostly afraid of you, even though I keep telling them that you’re not that scary. I mean, they’re just friends, Jessi, they mean good. Smile more often at them, please?”

“I smile often. And anyway, I’m nicer to them than to your dates.”

Tiffany laughed and slapped the arm she had been tugging, “That’s totally right! Even I couldn’t help but feel scared also!”

Jessica half-heartedly laughed with the girl.

“But, Jessi,” She stopped laughing, “I’m serious. I mean, I’m okay with you being the usual super protective you but you mostly know who my friends are, right? Be nice to them. Smile at them. Don’t talk to them with that interrogating tone. It’s scary, really.”

“Well,” Jessica shrugged, “can’t promise anything.”

The girl pouted, “Jessi…”

Jessica ignored her with another shrug until they stopped in a traffic light, Jessica peeked at Tiffany and the girl was still pouting with an upset expression. Couldn’t help any longer, the older then threw her arm around Tiffany’s neck, playfully pulling and squeezing her as their laughter echoed in each other’s ears.

Then again, Jessica wanted no one else but Tiffany to know exactly how kind she actually was. Let others judge her, because her kind self would always show only in front of Tiffany. No one else but her.

****

A quick update because I just love this fic. My new baby.