WARNING: There are some cuss words in this chapter.

Dear Liu Yiyun.

If ever you're wondering why I'm writing all these , I don't know why as well. You know me, I tend to be so clueless at times. I keep on looking stupid in front of you, asking you to repeat it again and again until you get annoyed at me.I'm sorry for being like this. I hope you understand.

I know I am a big burden to you from the start. Everytime you see me, I know that you would want to push me away as soon as you see me yet I stuck to you. I stuck to you like some idiot whoo can't understand what you meant. Who doesn't know what "go away" means. Forgive me for being like this. I hope you understand.

I waited.I waited though I knew it's impossible Hoping that one day, you'll be in my arms. I am too delusional. To naive. Forgive me for being like this. I hope you understand. 

I hoped for a lot of impossible things. Hoping that I could replace him. Slap me hard on the face. I need to wake up from this delusion. This horrible dream. Slap me, saying "Zelo, wake up from your nonsense, man. That's not cool. So not cool"  like what you usually tell me whenever I do weird stuff back on college. I smile whenever I remember those days. Forgive me for being like this. I hope you understand.

I know that was being selfish all these times. I told guys to stay away from you though they meant good and treated girls as rude and as coldly as possible even though I knew that they wanted to be a friend of mine. Forgive me for being like this. I h