Crack

Drabble?

Nonau

Sooman formed EXO because they were all gay.

“Alright boys, listen up!” Sooman, SM’s CEO and all around boss, was walking around the room, the heels of his feet scratching the floor, twelve pairs of eyes trained on him. Today was the day they announced who made it to the cut for SM’s super rookie new project. They were to be called EXO from EXOplanet, and all that other fancy that the teenagers of today want.

He stopped pacing around the room and stared at all their anxious faces, pursing his wrinkled lips before continuing his earlier speech. “I called all of you here today because of one reason, and one reason only.”

“Am I right?” All of them nod nervously.

“Good. I formed EXO based on the newest trends and what seemed to be the “in thing” in the hallyu scene.”

They were all listening intently, with Kris sipping his cup of coffee slowly, little swirls of smoke coming out of it, and Suho fidgeting in his seat. He waited utmost 6 years for this after all.

“Also, I chose you guys not because you’re the most talented bunch out there,” a pregnant pause.

“… but because all of you are gay.”

Kris choked on his coffee violently and coughed some out on Chanyeol’s face, causing him to suddenly stand upright, elbowing Baekhyun in the process. Suho looked like someone just died, Jongin and Tao just blushed, Chen just blinked and stared at everyone else, Kyungsoo’s eyes doubled in size, Sehun and Lay looked bored and Xiumin just thumped his head on the wall next to him, muttering a soft ‘I knew it’. Luhan on the other hand decided to play hooky and raised his hand immediately to retort.

“But sir, I’m manly! I’m not gay—,” he was cut off immediately with a wave of Sooman’s calloused hands.

“Lu han,” he began, tutting. “I saw you the other day with Sehun in the practice room after training hours.” Said man paled and then he continued, “I’m sure everyone will be pleased to know what I learned of afterwards?” Luhan shook his head and bit his lip, sitting back down. Xiumin just rubbed his back comfortingly afterwards.

Sooman spoke again. “So, if there aren’t anymore objections I would like to proceed with how we’ll incorporate sales unto you gay people.” Kris cringed and Tao scoffed, throwing him a stray slipper. He dodged and everyone went back to nodding intently.

“From your sunbae’s DBSK and Super Junior, I have learned that the fans love fan service or as the non-kpop educated people call bromance. You will be doing a lot of those so its okay to do PDA and probably somehow expose your gayness to the fans. It is still of an unfathomable reason why the fans ship guys with fellow guys but! If it brings in money and profit I don’t really care. So you guys, work on your pairings and other stuff. Meeting adjourned.” And with that he brusquely exited the room, leaving the 12 guys stunned in silence.

Jongin was fidgeting in his seat and peered over at a frozen Kyungsoo, nudging him.

“S-so, uh, H-hyung? You’re…gay?” Kyungsoo buried his face in his hands and answered with a muffled ‘yes’.

Jongin smiled at this and nudged him again. “That’s okay hyung. I’m gay too. We can be gay together.”

And with that the whole room became eerily silent, staring at Jongin with judging stares and frowns in place.

“Wow, I thought I was the greasy one here.” Suho commented and then shook his head slowly.

Kris frowned again, staring at his crushed cup in his hand. “I’m not even gay…” he whispered to which Baekhyun responded by “I saw how you try to be discreet about all the staring, you know. Plus, you’re too protective of Tao. He may be part of the maknae line but he’s a grown man.”

“True.” Tao answered in his diva manner and high-fived Baekhyun.

Everyone else groaned because wow they were one and the same.

They truly are one.

And so the birth of their slogan “We are One!”