Kyuhyun awoke to the sound of singing.

A familiar tune with a familiar voice; glassy and smooth like jade beads rolling across a polished surface. He could hear whimpers softly dabbing the lullaby.

Gradually, Kyuhyun forced his eyes open. The room slowly came into focus.  

As the dawn grew lighter, the curtains glowed brighter. Silhouetted against the glow was Ryeowook, gently rocking the baby doll. Cradled in his arms, the machine would cry out every few seconds but Ryeowook just kept singing in his sweet, calming voice. He was leaning down as if to let the baby hear him better. Undoubtedly breathtaking.

Silently, Kyuhyun shifted into an upright position. He didn’t even notice the big, goofy grin on his face. When he did, he quickly wiped it off.  Ryeowook was singing about arachnids and gutter floods now. Propping himself up on his elbows, he let the smaller finish before saying anything.

“You know it can’t hear you right?”

Ryeowook spun around. His surprise quickly melted to ease.

“Who said this was for the baby?” Ryeowook asked, still rocking the mechanical doll, “I’m trying to keep my own sanity here.”

“I suppose your singing is better than the screaming.” Kyuhyun admitted. Ryeowook rolled his eyes.

Slowly, Kyuhyun pulled himself up off the floor, feeling stiff from a night of sleeping on hardwood. He’d given up his pillow at some point and now his neck was paying dearly for it. Groaning softly, he padded over to Ryeowook and hugged him from behind.

“You know,” Ryeowook said, as Kyuhyun laid his head on his shoulder. “There would have been a lot less screaming if you had just gotten up to take care of her.”

He was of course referring to the five times last night when the doll had needed a care session. Three of which Kyuhyun had effectively missed.

“It was midnight,” He grumbled, “Can you blame me for being asleep?”

“Nobody should have slept through that.”

“I was very tired.”

Ryeowook kept rocking the robot. “I might just believe you. It took more effort to get you up than me just caring for it myself.”

“Well in that case, why didn’t you?”

Ryeowook abruptly stopped rocking. He shoved Kyuhyun off him and shot him an irritated glare. “I’m already cheating by rocking her right now. Don’t push it.”

“Okay, okay,” Kyuhyun relented, settling back on the edge of the couch.

“Good,” Ryeowook nodded, “Now tell me ‘thank you’ for getting the baby this time because I’ve been rocking her for thirty minutes now and my arms are about to fall off.”

Kyuhyun grinned wickedly, “Thank you, my dear. Perhaps I shall allow you to bed with me tonight.”

“Shut up.” The smaller said, turning away. Sense of humor is really the first thing to go. 

They stayed together for another few minutes. Ryeowook gently rocked the baby as Kyuhyun watched; both immersed in the calming atmosphere. In the near darkness, they could have been in a whole other world. The whimpers slowly died down until the doll startled them both with a high pitched giggle. Then it fell silent.

As Ryeowook set it down, Kyuhyun muttered a comment about the coos being as bad as the screams. The smaller just laughed and then went to make breakfast.

Kyuhyun stayed to clean the living room. Blankets and pillows were haphazardly tossed around from the night of chaos. Gathering up the sheets, he noted that he’d practically built his own mattress. It was still uncomfortable as nails but that was kind of cool.

As he cleaned, Kyuhyun made sure to shoot the doll a death glare. It honestly seemed like the thing cried more during the night than during the day. Five times in eight hours was absurd. And each time Ryeowook nearly buried him in pillows before he pulled himself up. Of course by then it was too late and for twenty minutes the baby would be screaming its head off. Figuratively speaking, of course. It’s not like he’d thought of ripping its head off or anything.

Kyuhyun sighed and brushed his hair back. According to the clock, it was 6:50 am. He felt surprisingly awake despite getting four hours of sleep.

Breakfast came and went too quickly. Pretty soon, Kyuhyun was standing at the door miserably watching as Ryeowook donned his coat and shoes.

“I’ll be back by noon, so don’t try to cook anything for lunch. And don’t start looking up cheats again,” Ryeowook warned, “I’ll know you cheated if you look anything less than miserable when I get back.”

“My, my, what a caring side you have,” Kyuhyun remarked.

Ryeowook grinned. “I know,” he said and pecked him quickly on the lips before grabbing the bag and leaving. Freakin' fantastic. When the door closed, Kyuhyun could feel the loneliness come rushing back.

Sighing, he slumped on the couch. The baby doll sat in the chair across from him, silent and immobile.

The machine looked real enough. It had the round eyes and fat limbs, all protruding at odd angles. Because that’s what babies did, right? He’d heard they were pretty flexible. The hair was black but drawn on with some texturing. It was also dressed in blue overalls which were a pain for diaper changes, but Ryeowook refused to let him leave them off. Apparently he needed some decency.

Giving the doll a good hard look, Kyuhyun settled on lack of eyelids as the creepiest thing about it. Only a select few reptiles and protists didn't blink and in his opinion, those were pretty creepy. Even the lack of eyebrows weren’t as bad. The doll was like a crocodile; patiently waiting and watching for the perfect moment to come alive and murder him.

With that lovely image in mind, Kyuhyun realized he should probably start his homework. So he grabbed his history textbook, reread the same line five times, then decided to work on some different homework.

Picking up the packet from the coffee table, Kyuhyun began scanning through it. The crinkling pages sounded strangely loud in the apartment. Flipping past the baby manual, Kyuhyun found the baby assignments located in the back. It seemed they extended to more than just journaling. No, you had to do activities and then journal about them. Thrilling, really. But one did catch Kyuhyun’s eye:

Complete household chores while taking care of the baby. Attempt to vacuum, do laundry, and pay bills (etc.) while ensuring that your baby is happy and taken care of.

That seemed simple enough. Plus he could use the incentive.

His mother had left a list of chores for him, taped to the fridge, and being his mother, fully expected them to be done by the time she got back.

Scanning through each chore, Kyuhyun reasoned that he could probably finish within two hours. Their place was small and the tasks were simple. He wearily eyed the doll. It had just cried recently so it shouldn’t break out for a while.

Quickly, Kyuhyun completely refocused himself on the list. From eight to nine, he was vacuuming, scrubbing, and sweeping. While watering the plants, the baby let out a sharp laugh nearly giving him a . The cactus got a little more water than it needed but oh well. Kyuhyun worked at top speed until he was at the bottom of the list. 

Dropping the paper on the coffee table, Kyuhyun finally allowed himself to rest. By collapsing on the sofa.

Letting out a breath, he looked around the entry rooms. The floors were clean, the counters were clean, and their plants were not dying. A job well done.

The doll still sat in the exact same position. In an irrational surge of gratitude, he nearly apologized for cursing it the last twelve hours. It hadn’t disturbed his work, begun screaming for no reason, or even laughed once that hour. Perhaps it’d cried itself out or perhaps it only cried during the night, but creepy stare or not, it was behaving well. Kyuhyun was oddly proud.

But he didn’t say that out loud because it was a doll and it was plastic and it could not hear him.

Instead, he leaned over and gave it a few awkward pats on the head.

Maybe he was more tired than he thought.

Picking up the baby, Kyuhyun set it in the car seat/carrier. The last thing on the list was laundry and that was down three flights of stairs. Grabbing the dirty clothes and carrier, Kyuhyun headed outside.

The washing machines were at the very base of the building. With laundry in one hand and doll carrier in the other, Kyuhyun had to stop several times while going down. Even with his long arms, carrying two baskets at once was burdensome. Luckily, nobody was around to see him struggle.

In the laundry room, Kyuhyun poured in his detergent and tured on the machine. The rush of water and subsequent chugging of the wash cycle was enough to offer him some comfort. So he sat back and waited.

Two minutes later, he was bored.

"Dammit," he grumbled. He should have brought his laptop.

Cautiously, he glanced out the door. Their landlord had tight regulations when it came to watching your laundry, especially after the -snatcher incident. But it was still early for a Saturday so there wasn’t anyone outside. He bit his lip. Maybe he could sprint upstairs and back for his laptop. Chances were slim of his getting reported.

Suddenly, an all too familiar sound startled him out of his plans.

“Now? Really?” Kyuhyun groaned. The baby sat on the nearby washer, still inanimate, except now blasting from its chest were sharp whines disturbing the rhythmic pumping of the washer.  

Stalking over to the robot, Kyuhyun was fully prepared to take back anything good he’d thought about it. Hurriedly, he tried the bottle and the diaper. When that failed, he was left with rocking and burping. Hastily unbuckling its seat belt, Kyuhyun tried his best to cover up the baby’s speakers. The last thing he wanted to do was have a neighbor come down and see this scene.

'Please just be a two minute rocking,' he begged. Slipping his hand underneath the doll, he lifted it off the seat.

It happened in a flash.

The baby’s head snapped back, eliciting the most terrible scream Kyuhyun had ever heard. Shocked, Kyuhyun dropped the doll right back into the carrier causing it to cry even louder. Its screams bounced off the walls and into the hallway, creating an echo of cry. 

Out of pure instinct, Kyuhyun grabbed the doll and pushed it against his chest. Its cries were muffled in burping position. Rapidly, he started patting it on the back though at his speed it came off more as pounding. He nearly dropped the doll again when the electronic chime sounded. He stared at his bracelet, bewildered.

Almost instantly the doll started to scream again and Kyuhyun had to rock it at top speed. If he’d thought the needy cry was bad, this one was a jet landing in comparison. It was louder, higher, and even more consistent.

“Don’t you need to breathe!?” He cried in desperation.

The baby continued to wail forcing the panicked Kyuhyun to stand there and mindlessly rock it back and forth. The bottle and diaper lay forgotten. He didn’t even know if rocking would help. 

But eventually it did. After a good ten minutes of deafening screams, the baby’s shrieks slowed down gradually until it came to a complete stop. No coo, no burp; it just stopped screaming. And that was good enough for him.

Tossing it like a hot potato, Kyuhyun scrambled to the other side of the room. His ears were ringing from the sound. Taking several deep breaths, he glared back at the machine.

“What is wrong with you!?” He yelled.

Just his luck another tenant walked in.  

Complete household chores while taking care of the baby. Attempt to vacuum, do laundry, and pay bills while ensuring that your baby is happy and taken care of.

How was the experience? Was it harder than usual? How do you think having a baby would affect your productivity around the house?

The experience was terrible.

It was more terrifying than usual.

If I ever had a baby, I would become a hermit who would never leave his apartment.

I’ll see you for my therapy bills. 

10:01 am

Sorry for not updating last week. Finals stuff is already starting and I just spent two hours knocking on stranger's doors to ask for money. Got to hate fundraising.