From:
[email protected]

To:
[email protected]

Subject: W. T. F.

Dear Lee Chaerin,

I somehow woke up approximately 1 hour 43 minutes later and promptly stormed off to the bathroom. There was only a little time left before I had to meet Satan at the lobby. I was so sure he was going to throw fits and lectured me about "The Importance of Time" if I was just a second late. This was not an exaggerated statement.

I once arrived 2 seconds late and he gave me the look of doom. He glanced at his Rolex and eyed me devilishly.

"You are late"

I was like, "It's still 6:00,sir."

And he was like, "It's 6:00:02, oh it's 6:00:15 now."

I wanted to debate more but decided to let it slip that time. I noted that in the near future that kind of occurrence take place again. I would be more than ready to turn it into one heck of a heated argument.

"You're 7 seconds early" he said as he leaned against the wall near the lift. I was back in my formal outfit and he seemed to loathe the idea of wearing any sort kind of formal attires at that moment because he was wearing a Pigalle long-sleeved shirt and a pair of glistening leather pants. A fashionista, they said. Not at all a hyperbolic statement.

"I'm giving you 10 minutes to go back to your room and change into something more casual. You wouldn't want to hike wearing 2-inch heels, would you?"

Hiking?

Damn damn damn damn.

It was a very tiring activity to do. I reluctantly went back to my room to change into a hoodie, a pair of sweatpants, and my Converse. I brought 3 bottles of water in my backpack and went to meet him again.

"Let's go" I simply nodded and followed him.

I did not regret going on a hiking.

I DID NOT.

Even though it was very hyperbole of Satan to call it 'hiking' since it was just a walk to a gradual edge of a cliff. Satan was panting heavily and he seemed to be out of breath, so I handed him a bottle of water which he ungratefully accepted and drank the whole damned water in a few seconds.

"You can at least say thank you,sir."

"It's a given for the secretary to bring the required necessity."

Fine, you then.

I quickly stomped off and walked ahead of him and tada tada tada..

A metre ahead, Taeyang was smiling at me, standing gracefully as he offered a hand because I was going to pass a very steep turn. I took his hand and he lifted me up.

Lord of Angels, it felt heavenly.

I thanked him and he just smiled and ruffled my hair. He ruffled my unholy dirty hair. What did I do in my previous life to be THIS lucky????

He then walked to help Satan, and joked about Satan's inability to be engaged in outdoor activities. Satan didn't take it seriously and slung one arm over Taeyang's shoulder and walked past me. 

Turned out we came here for Taeyang's photoshoot. And this crowd of 'we' involved some French investors, Italian investors, and I didn't know who else. Too much different languages spoken. I stared at Satan in disbelief as I saw him initiate conversations with those alien-language-speaking people. He spoke their languages very effortlessly and I had the urge to learn Arabian or African or anything that Satan wasn't able to understand, if there was any.

I shifted my attention to Taeyang as he posed, smiling at the camera. Oh my, how could someone be that perfect, Chae?? I took a step backward and sat on a big rock. As much as I liked this opportunity of watching Taeyang's photoshoot, I wanted to go back to the hotel fast. It was so damn cold. I rubbed both my hands against each other, trying to ignore the cold.

"Sandara-ssi!" Satan suddenly called.

"Yes?"

"Please come here for a moment"

I stood up and straightened my pants. What happened next seemed to happen in a blur. I slipped on the moss, and I knew that I wouldn't die falling from the cliff or something. Maybe I would just get some scratches or something. But Satan exaggerated and took it to a whole new level. He ran towards me heroically and pulled me into a hug. Then I didn't know whether it's my imagination or something, he purposely slipped himself on the moss and fell down, his head kind of hitting a small rock and passed out. 

I was like ".......Sir?"

Everyone rushed to help him, including Taeyang, he scooped Satan up and said "Call 911" to particularly no one. The investors seemed to be very appalled, they just stared at the unconscious Satan as if they didn't believe that Satan would do that. Oh of course, especially me.

WHY THE WOULD HE HELP ME and made a riot out of nothing. Someone took the initiation to call and when no one was paying attention, Taeyang turned to look at me and winked.

What. The. . Was. Happening

I sat down on one of those long benches located along the hospital hallways. Satan had been brought to the ER immediately that I didn't even have the chance to take a glimpse of how he looked like. Horrible, I believe.

Not knowing what else to do at the moment, I decided to write you this e-mail.

XOXO,
Sandara Park