Yuto POV

now I've created irreparable damage to the first girl, and there's no returning anymore. I've poured out all my thoughts to her, told her all my troubles and selfish unforgivable behaviour, to sincerely seek her understanding and forgiveness. And what's the reason for revealing all these? is it an indication that I will take a step further, to face my true self like a man, to confess to the only girl in my heart and soul? so much deliberation, about her reaction, about the future, but my hesitation only brought on more regrets and pain to myself. every look into her eyes become unbearable and excruciating, soon I won't be able to face her as a friend. that's gonna be damaging either way. to say or not to say, that's the question. it's really not about a Shakespeare styled confession to draw her back to me, it's really just about letting her know my feelings for her. Locking myself in my bedroom, skipping lunch and dinner, lying against my bed, the breakup scenes flashback in my mind like a rewound movie clip. 

The angered, sorrowful eyes of Rika's left vivid impressions in my mind the moment I told her that I've used her love for my own selfish benefits, for deception, for concealing my true self. Even she knew that my heart never belonged to her, but Mirai, yet she demanded that my heart should be filled with her and only her. I asked her why she persist such meaningless relationship which would only bring her more tears, she couldn't answer. This time, I knew the answer. it's not love for me she habour, it's the pride and possession she desired. When I told her so, she argued but deep down she knew that's the truth, cause her argument soon turned softer with hesitation. both of us started on the wrong footing, each with an intention to date for self-interest, so the mutual feelings were never in existence, even if there were, it's deceptions.  I'm not a stone, of course I had feelings. not only was she drained in buckets of tears, I was too. Those little memories we have, they are feelings we shared and devoted even if they were impure. 

I meddled with my phone, circling my fingers around the contact list, around her contact in particular. I wanted so much to hear her voice, to let her fix my broken heart. I pressed the number, to my surprise, it got through. 

"Yuto?" the voice I yearned so much echoed through the line into my ears. her mere utterance of my name is so soothing to my ears, more than ever.

"Yuto? are you there? are you okay? don't scare me Yuto..." Her tone turned urgent and panicky. if only I could let her worry about me a bit more cause it felt exceptionally comforting since I know she cares, but still I didn't want her to be hurt because of me.

"I'm here... Mirai, I'm sorry"

"it's alright. I forgive you, but you sound bad... are you sure you're okay? did something happen? Chinen and Ryosuke both said you have something to tend to earlier, did it go well?"

"I broke up with Rika..."

"WHAT?!!! is not because of the feud I have with her is it?!"

"no, it's not..." lie, not entirely but partially... 

"then why? Yuto, are you okay alone? I can come find you if you want.."

"no, don't come. I don't wanna face you like this"

"but then tell me why? why did you come up with this decision?"

"because I never liked her."

"huh then why did you date her?"

"because... because... I have someone else I like..."

"who?! is it someone I know?!"

"the person I love.... is..... y-you"

"Heh?!!! don't play such a prank Yuto... it's not funny~" Mirai was giggling, but when she hear no response from Yuto, she quietened down in solemn.

"I'm not kidding, Mirai..." 

"b-but how... how can it be... I...I"

"how is it everyone can see it but you can't, Mirai? I've loved you since always!"

"Yuto~ I..."

"I am not asking you to accept me. I'm just telling you since you asked. I know you like Ryosuke, I can only count on my own stupidity that I never told you earlier"

"Yuto... I don't know what to say... I"

"it's okay. it's a long day for you too. oyasumi~" I have no courage to hear her fumbling anymore, I hung up the phone. tears welled up in my eyes, not because I feel sad, on the contrary, I felt extremely relaxed after letting go my burden. is everything gonna change from now? honestly, the future is uncertain but one thing for sure is there's no way the two of us can return to how it was before.

"I never wanted to trouble you, Mirai"

*****
Mirai POV

Goodness! Yuto likes me?!!! since always??? why didn't I see it? why am I so retarded when it comes to all these? I hit my head, but my heart... my heart is crying? what am I feeling now? am I feeling sorry for Yuto, if it's not apologia that I'm experiencing now, then what is it?whatever it is, it's hurting me badly. my heart cringed in waves and in increasing intensity. I felt like I'm suffocating in the words of confession he uttered in that mere 5 minutes conversation. I crouched down by my bedside. unconsciously, warm tears trickled down my eyes. 

I stepped out of my room and quietly sneaked into my brother's. I'm not looking for Daiki, instead I went straight to the mattress laid on the floor beside Daiki's bed. I sat beside him and softly called his name.

"Ryosuke~" I tapped him by his shoulder, but he shrugged it off and dug deeper into the blanket. I wanted so much to talk to him, more than ever. to ease my guilt? why why am I feeling this way, feeling remorse towards Ryosuke. it was just Yuto confessing, I don't feel the same way... no, I don't? I shouldn't... all this time, Yuto was so nice to me, it turned out he likes me. i am so slow to notice that... 

I forced myself to focus only at the guy before me, the guy who believed in me so much. 

"Ryosuke, I love you, I'm not gonna waver, I'm not." I brushed his bangs from his forehead and whispered in his ear.

I pulled myself together and let the happy memories Ryosuke and I forged today fill my mind, and eject those negative thoughts that infiltrated my mind. Naturally, the scenes from the beach replayed as I shut my eyes while in a meditating position beside Ryosuke. 

"Ryosuke!!!!" I shook his body as he laid on the sand bed motionless. I placed my shivering hand to his nose, and when I couldn't feel his breathing, I panicked with tears jerking out of my eyes.

"Chinen, Umika!!!" I thought they were behind me but when I turned around, they were no where in eye view. No matter how loud I shouted, there was no one around me.

"Ryosuke, reply me please! don't scare me!" I continued shaking him by his shoulder and his face, still there was no response. his eyes remained tightly shut.

In a pressing situation like this, there's only one thing that my pea brain could think of... CPR.

 For the first time, I initiated the skinship, not in a sense but a matter of life and death. I pressed on his chest a few times, subsequently I pressed my mouth against his. I forced my breathe into his, but when I tried to lift up myself for the second cycle, an opposing pressure on the nape of my neck made it impossible to part from his lips. My eyes widened as soon as I saw his 'revival' in a wink of his eye, rather he never did need the CPR...

"RYOSUKE... you're so evil" I pushed myself away, resisting his touch and brushed away those wasted tears from my face.

"Gomen Gomen... I thought it's so funny when you came running towards me along with Chinen and Umika that I thought it'll be fun to play along..."

"Yamada Ryosuke! you really scare the hell out of me! I'm not talking to you!" I motioned away but he pulled me back and I fell right into his arms, lying on his shoulder, with both our bodi