Do you ever think

When you're all alone

All that we could be?

Where this thing could go?

Dongwoo drove himself into the middle of the parking lot as the sun began to set with purple and pink. Sporting a blue dress shirt matched with black slacks and topped off with a brown pair of aviator sunglasses, Dongwoo had the most polished look upon turning into an empty parking spot. He was ready for the night.

Before leaving his car, Dongwoo glanced up at his rearview mirror for one final spot check. In the corner of his mirror Woohyun was standing right outside the entrance of a restaurant, patiently awaiting Dongwoo's arrival. Dongwoo left his car and slammed the door right behind him, walking coolly as he lowered his sunglasses to the bottom of his nose to unveil his eyes. Once glance into Dongwoo's eyes could entrap you into trance you could never escape. Once his smile was involved, it was good luck to anyone who could escape his trance.

Luckily Woohyun had been dealing with Dongwoo's charms for quite some time and knew how to handle almost every little thing. "You ready to eat?" Woohyun smiled, folding up the sleeves of his white dress shirt.

Dongwoo took off his sunglasses and hung them around the neck of his shirt. Biting his tongue, Dongwoo had himself mentally prepared for this moment. "Let's go."

Mia Cucina.

A whole month ago, Dongwoo entered this in this popular Italian restaurant alone and consumed himself with excellent music, divine wine, appetizing food, and a talkative waiter by the name of Hoya. One awry night without a date took an interesting turn once Hoya decided to play the part, engrossing himself with a wistful kiss than took him to a place unimaginable. 

Returning to Mia Cucina 30 days later, Dongwoo linked his arm with another person. The same person who stood him up for that same date and took him away by the end of it. Their situation had been resolved, and their relation carried on as usual. It was pertinent for Dongwoo that he try and wipe out the previous memory in his head. Dongwoo never thought he would be coming back to this place until Woohyun proposed making that time up to him. Little did Woohyun know, Dongwoo carried unsettled memories that were revived once more upon entering the place.

"A table for two, the name is under Woohyun," he spoke to the hostess. 

The restaurant was the exact same set up as he remembered. It was a crowded Friday night, the warm orange lights creating an amorous aura for every couple enjoying their dinner. Inside was a small stage kept on the side in which live music played the whole night. And of course, there was the outside terrace  The patio this time around was different. This time around, the clouds blocked some stars in the sky from twinkling down on the party. Insteading of holding multiple kinds of flowers in distinct colors twirled around in an arrangement of beauty, the flowers were changed to only white. Dongwoo preferred this much more as the stream of alternating red and gold lights matched much more. 

"Your waiter will be right with you," the hostess announced, dropping two menus in front of Dongwoo and Woohyun.

Woohyun grabbed his menu and opened up the first page, discovering the amount of combinations possible for a meal. "This menu looks amazing."

"Yes, it looks great," Dongwoo muttered.

The same exact table. The setting, the centerpiece, the position. Dongwoo knowingly chose the same exact seat, almost as if he wanted to torture himself in memories. He had almost forgotten last month ever happened, but conveniently it was following his footsteps to haunt him.

"Good evening!" A waiter approached their table with a million dollar smile and a pitcher of water in his hands. His hair was gelled to the side, his outfit pressed, fully tucked, and buttoned to impress. Their waiter of the evening.

And Dongwoo recognized the voice completely. 

"My name is Howon, and I will be your waiter for the evening. Can I help either of you out with anything other than water? May I suggest a wine?"

Hoya presented himself the same way he did 30 days ago, a talkative waiter with a knack for treating his customers like royalty. Dongwoo remembered the way Hoya treated him, a day he wanted to forget for his and Woohyun's sanity. It was a little too late, but as Hoya stood before them he seemed almost unfazed that Dongwoo was with another guy. Hoya pretended that he had not a single idea who he was, carrying on his usual script as a waiter.

Woohyun scratched his head, a little intimidated by the menu options. "Dongwoo, do you have an idea of a wine?"

Dongwoo had an idea. It had been his favorite wine since trying it.

"Can we get two glasses of the Belladonna?"

Hoya almost shivered when Dongwoo said that word, blinking his eyes multiple times and losing track of what he was doing. "Yeah... yeah of course! I will be back." Hoya flashed a grin at the both of them and turned away to inside to retrieve the wine.

Dongwoo watched as he walked away, his whole body tensing up from seeing Hoya again. But it seemed that Hoya forgotten everything himself as well.

Everything was business.

Am I crazy or falling in love?

Is it real or just another crush?

"You've got to be kidding me, he fired him?" Woohyun asked.

"Yeah, there was a bit of a gray area with that. I don't believe he did a single thing wrong, but I guess with the pressing demands he had to do what he had to do," Dongwoo laughed, taking a sip of his Belladonna wine. 

It was the perfect trick for Dongwoo to relax and unwind, remembering the reason why he was there in the first place and spending the evening enjoying his time with Woohyun. Every conversation they had was hysterical, of course after the wine kicked in, not a single conversation left awkward. Dongwoo leaned over the table with his hand on his glass, taking sips at his drink when Woohyun would speak. The night was a good one.

A piano started playing from inside, the wind carrying the melodic tune to trap Dongwoo into a reverie of what a perfect night should be. Dongwoo started to lose himself, remembering why he had such an amazing time at this restaurant before. "I love this group. Their name is Stratosphere, and they're a jazz band."

"Jazz?" Woohyun raised his lip, disinterested in the type. "Not really my thing."

"Really?!" Dongwoo was shocked, almost outraged that Woohyun could downplay such an institution of art. Dongwoo pointed his glass at Woohyun and almost wanted to threaten him. "You take that back! This music is amazing, contemporary and infusing old styles in their music. They not only have original songs, but they have covers as well. Everything is played to perfection."

"Yeah, you need to pay attention to them for the night. Their songs are quite amazing," Hoya chided, interrupting their conversation and bringing in a notepad and pen to prepare orders. He continued his shift with a smile on his face and the same personality he was introduced with. "Stratosphere is selling their first EP tonight. They have a few copies at their stage and will be selling after their set. Anyways, are you guys prepared to order food?"

Woohyun appreciated everything about Hoya, his hospitality at the restaurant that set the mood right for their evening. "Give me the filet mignon with potatoes," passing his menu right to Hoya.

Next was Dongwoo ordering, who leaned back in his chair casually as he felt a lot better about the evening. If Hoya was mature and undoing of their date, then he could too. Pointing a finger up in the air, Dongwoo made his order. "Please give me your best plate of butternut squash ravioli in gorgonzola sauce."

Hoya froze, holding everything in his arms without a single flinch of what Dongwoo had ordered.

As Dongwoo attempted to make the same order that he brought him 30 days ago, memories came rushing back from that blissful evening when Hoya was sitting in Woohyun's seat. For Dongwoo it was instinctive. Without any thinking he associated a night with Hoya and tried to repeat it with a different date, emulating every detail from the food, drink, and band for his perfect evening.

Hoya started to break internally, letting out the breath he was holding as he snapped out of his daze and continued his order. "Right. I'll be getting your orders ready and everything should be out in 15-20 minutes!" He imposed a smile on his face as he quickly turned around to help other customers.

"That guy, some of the best service I've ever received at a restaurant," Woohyun applauded, grabbing his glass to crash into Dongwoo's for a toast. 

Dongwoo raised his glass, everything was falling into place and not as terrible as he anticipated. Going on a date with a reasonable guy, on top of that Hoya had said nothing to implicate himself or Dongwoo of their past. It all seemed too good to be true. 

"To us."

But Dongwoo let it happen, enjoying the clinking sound of their glasses touching as they took sips of their wine and immersed themselves into an evening of quippy banter and hilarious stories of their week. A night under the clouds with several stars twinkling in the sky. It was almost as good as 30 days ago. It was an incredible night to say the least, and Dongwoo tried to push all his worries away.

Walking to their table was a handsome, tall man dressed in the same uniform as every waiter around. With his white shirt buttoned up except for one at the top, his black slacks and apron to cover, his pockets stuffed with different paychecks of other tables and a load of straws sticking right out. His smile was contagious, grinning from cheek-to-cheek as his dimples pressed in.

"Hello, my name is Myungsoo and I will be your waiter for the rest of the night," he spoke, carefully refilling both water glasses. "I just wanted to let you know that the filet mignon is taking the longest to cook, but will be out very soon.

"Great, thank you," Woohyun smiled.

Woohyun seemed as if this was a typical protocol of the restaurant, but for Dongwoo this bothered him to know a different person switched midway into the night. It was a little minor detail, one that should have been insignificant. "I'm sorry, but what happened to our previous waiter Howon?" he pressed.

As Myungsoo finished pouring the waters, he wiped the tip of the pitcher with a napkin. "Howon requested to switch places for the evening because he was having allergies outside. Is there anything I can get for either of you?"

"Allergies?" Dongwoo questioned.

"I don't think so. We just ordered our food so we are good for now," Woohyun smiled, dismissing their new waiter to return to other tables. "Well that's unfortunate. Our waiter Howon was very nice."

"Yeah... he was."

That was when it hit him. His cheerful buzz quickly died down. Dongwoo almost slumped in his chair, his mind unraveling into a mess on the floor as he reflected on what allergies could mean, since their previous night a month ago there was no indication or clue that he suffered with that. It was a different kind of allergy, an allergy of unrequited feelings.

Yet, Dongwoo once again tried his best to push those feelings aside. Woohyun was sitting across from him afterall, an outstanding guy who has been doing his best to make every mistake made up to him. He could not afford to dwell on Hoya or consider why he left their table.

"This meal will be amazing," Dongwoo convinced himself.

Do you catch a breath

When I look at you?

Are you holding back Like the way I do?

Cause I'm trying, trying to walk way.

Dongwoo scarfed down his whole plate of butternut squash ravioli, keeping his feelings internal on sharing the same plate with Woohyun that he did with Hoya a month before. His conscience haunted him as he finished everything without a single trace, scraping the delicious sauce off the plate to eat. Across the table, Woohyun was taking his sweet time slicing individual bite-sized pieces of his filet mignon. Looking at his empty plate, Dongwoo felt guilty for even ordering the meal. 

This isn't a big deal, so stop acting like this Dongwoo. 

"Dongwoo, are you ok?" Woohyun asked, holding up a slice of prime medium-rare steak on his fork. He pointed it at Dongwoo, showing a little worry on his face. "You look a little distressed. Did the food give you a stomachache?"

"A stomachache?" The perfect excuse for Dongwoo to leave the table. Taking a deep breath, he played the part by rubbing his tummy in circles. "It wasn't the food, but I ate everything too fast."

"Oh no..." Woohyun took a bite of his food and shook his head, hearing this story before as he took a sip of his Belladonna. "You need to break the habit! You feel terrible everytime you eat fast."

"I know, I know." Dongwoo started to sweat profusely, not from the food or anything Woohyun had been believing. Catching a glimspe at the corner of his eye, Hoya was helping out a couple sitting at a table inside the restaurant. Hoya carried out his work with the same kind of joy or friendliness he saw from him the first time. Dongwoo wished he was the one at that table. Being at Mia Cucina was an instant regret, and as Stratosphere hit the of their current tune Dongwoo wanted nothing but to be by himself. "I'm going to the men's room I'll be ok, I just need to take a breather."

"Yeah, of course." Woohyun was understanding, continuing on with his own meal as Dongwoo threw his napkin on the table and scurried to the restroom. Continuing his character, Dongwoo held onto his stomach and displayed a woeful face. Some people turned to watch Dongwoo walk by, speculating what in the world had happened to him.

Food poisoning? Upset stomach? Dongwoo ignored it all, enduring almost a walk of shame as he faked his sickness.

Pushing the doors, Dongwoo walked in and finally let himself go. Letting out a deep breath and putting his hands up in the air to stretch, he no longer had to put up a phony act with Woohyun. Being in the bathroom was the most relaxed Dongwoo had felt the whole night, not a single person inside as he reflected on the events of that evening.

Going on a date to Mia Cucina, having the exact same table as last time, of course Hoya is our waiter, and having the same exact drink, food, and band here. 

Dongwoo could not understand for the life of him why the ordeal was affecting him so much. 

His time alone ended, the doors swinging as another person entered the bathroom. This person was exhausted, sweating bullets into his white uniform shirt that he ed at the top to let some air dry him off. Untucking his shirt for the timebeing, he ruffled his hair and took off his apron as he initiated eye contact with Dongwoo.

It was the same person he tried to push away.

"Hey. I'm... I'm on a five minute break right now." Without Woohyun or any other extraneous factors around. It was the two of them, in a setting like a men's restroom with crumpled towels on the floor and spilled soap on the sink counters.

Dongwoo saw the person he wanted to talk to the least, his body responding in different ways to his appearance. His heart started skipping multiple beats, his mind was clustered with too many thoughts that he could barely process in one hour of staying at Mia Cucina, his hands were shaking as he tried to hide them behind his back. Most of all, it was like his mouth was a person of its own and spoke out of turn. "Hoya, how is everything?"

Hoya really wished that Dongwoo did not ask that specific question, but proceeded to keep a straight face for his answer."Great. How is your date? Are you feeling ok? You were holding your stomach and I wanted to see if everything was ok." 

"Good. Good." Dongwoo nodded his head awkwardly, checking out the time on his phone for how long he had stayed there. "I should return to my date soon. I wanted to wash my hands and walk around a little. My stomach has been feeling a little weird."

"Well go right ahead. You don't want to keep your date waiting," Hoya smiled nervously.

The silence did not sit well for Dongwoo, and in between him and Hoya was a large wall that separated them. Standing right across from each other, Dongwoo knew for a fact Hoya was concealing something from him. It was only a matter of whether he Dongwoo wanted to know the truth or not. 

Dongwoo walked towards the door. Hoya froze in the middle of the restroom as Dongwoo passed by him, standing by his side with their shoulders brushing slightly as Dongwoo could feel an intensity between them. The intensity he felt when the two of them first danced, holding onto each other as they swayed with the music. Barely touching limbs, and Dongwoo could feel that passion once more. 

But Dongwoo had to let it go, knowing it would not be good for any of them in the end. He sniffed his nose and ultimately passed by Hoya to leave.

"Dongwoo, do you really have the audacity to enjoy every single thing we had together with a different person?"

A split second away from pushing the door open, Dongwoo heard Hoya call him as his fingertips pressed against his exit. Dongwoo could not muster the confidence to turn his eyes for Hoya's attention. Without turning around, he could feel the Hoya's eyes shooting fire at the back of his next. 

Hoya did not demand for him to turn around. He simply wanted to express his sentiments that had been stuck in his mind for the past month. It was now or never, and he became the Hoya that Dongwoo first met. "You order the same wine, the same food... I can't even believe this." 30 days later, Hoya still felt the same exact way.

Dongwoo was scared to listen to the rest, the feelings he tried to hold back igniting a fire. "Hoya, I'm sorry that everything turned out the way it did..."

Hoya cleared his throat to interrupt him. "Dongwoo, I don't blame you for anything. It was a tricky situation with little time to react. Woohyun probably made it up to you, showering you with flowers, kisses, more dinners like this. I wanted to respect that. I really did, but I had to see you. This is my last stand because the second you walk out that door, I will never see you again."

"Hoya, what are you saying..."

"When I first met you, I was instantly attracted to you. I learned so much more about you in two hours than some people I have known for over five years. I wanted to show how a person like you should be treated. It's been a whole month since our kiss, and every day since I waited for you to come back so I could tell you this. I should have held on to you that night."

Dongwoo turned his head, catching the glimpse of Hoya's teary eyes as he finished his sentence.

"It all started with a sympathetic move, but in the end... I wanted a second date. I guess that's why they call it a crush." The mirror showed a reflection of the two of them, as Hoya saw how near he was to grabbing Dongwoo and taking him away to a world he never thought imaginable. A world where dates like that happen every day. A world where Dongwoo was special. "Well, at least the jazz music is lovely tonight huh?"

Hoya was done. There was nothing more he could do or say to state his case. Fate played an unfortunate role in the way things fell in line, and Hoya was nowhere in that line; simply a spot somewhere by that the line considered connecting to. In the end, what was straight and forward made the most sense and Hoya was not going to fight it. "Have a good rest of your dinner." Shoving his hands down his pockets, Hoya rushed by Dongwoo to leave the bathroom first and return to his work.

Once Hoya walked through that door, Dongwoo's heart crashed to the pits of his stomach. How could a man that he had only talked to for one night have such an effect on him? This was no supposed to be a big deal. He tried to push Hoya aside and tell him it was for one night only, but in the end he savored that jazz-filled starry night to the last bite. Well, a night like that could never happen again.

This is my last stand because the second you walk out that door, I will never see you again.

Woohyun wiped a little of juices off his chin from the filet mignon, which surpassed all expectations he had. As he dropped the napkin on his setting, Dongwoo languidly returned to their table. His face was pale and each movement made was sluggish, almost resembling a sloth. Woohyun raised an eyebrow as Dongwoo pulled his chair back and sat down quietly, not making a single peep. "Dongwoo, are you ok?" he asked, worried that maybe his sickness had fully nulled his senses.

A different kind of sickness took over. A sickness of the heart.

"Yeah, I'll be ok," Dongwoo murmured.

It was 10:30PM as Hoya walked out of Mia Cucina, twirling his keychain around his fingers as he alarmed and locked the doors for the evening. With every other worker gone and left for the evening, Hoya took the job of staying last for the final menial job of checking if everything was turned off and cleaned. The plates, the tables, the floors, the outside terrace. I need to get the hell out of here. Everything was a reminder of his loss, how a person who could babble for hours could stay mute where it all mattered. Throwing his keys in the air and smoothly placing it in his pocket, Hoya began his journey to the subway.

Suddenly a song blasted in the parking lot. A song playing by the only car parked there. All four doors of the car were wide opened, the lights shining inside as well as the lights illuminating the lot. It was a familiar song, a song that sent Hoya into a bliss that he felt a month ago. A song that to this day, everytime he heard it. Hoya questioned what was happening and apprehensively stepped towards the car to verify who was inside.

Taking a look in the rearview mirror, Dongwoo sat in the driver's seat.

"Dongwoo." Hoya could not believe it. What is he doing here?

Dongwoo turned his head, looking out of the car to catch Hoya standing by the trunk. "Do you like this song?"

Of course Hoya knew that song. It was the same song playing when he first wrapped his arms around Dongwoo and took him to a place where only the both of them understood. Hoya closed his eyes, believing it was too good to be true, and let the melody confine him to an ecstasy he never thought he could reach again.

"I bought Stratosphere's album before their last song tonight," Dongwoo confessed, getting out of his car and leaning his elbow on the hood. "You know what I always say. Jazz to spice up your life, right?"

Hoya had to pinch himself to see if this was reality, opening his eyes to see if Dongwoo would be standing right in front of him by the time his senses got to him.  His vision captured Dongwoo before him, smiling back with the alluring grin that attracted Hoya to him in the first place. "Dongwoo, what are you doing? You stayed here after close?" 

"Well, yeah," Dongwoo answered bluntly as a matter-of-fact, taking a step towards Hoya. The music continued playing and echoing through the lot. "Are you ready to dance?"

Hoya lost all feeling in his limbs, his emotions taking over as he stumbled against the car. "But... what about Woohyun? Where the hell is your date-"

Dongwoo turned to his side for a chuckle, finding Hoya's actions adorable. "As far as I'm concerned, you're the only date I have."

Hoya stood in the parking lot, dumbfounded. Serving them his favorite wine, Dongwoo ordering the same plate of food Hoya gave him, that band playing Dongwoo's favorite kind of music, and watching the amount of laughter Woohyun caused him. Never did Hoya expect it all to end in this "date" and when it all hit him what exactly was going on Hoya took a step forward, his glower developing into an unstoppable smirk. "You can't be using the same lines I've pulled on you before. You have to be creative."

Dongwoo moved forward for this most enticing advance ever played, brushing his lips against Hoya's ear to whisper. "You think this isn't creative for a second date?" Dongwoo hung his fingers on Hoya's front pocket to tease and pulled back. "I think I'm a pretty original guy, but if you don't think so I can just leave..."

Hoya immediately grabbed onto his wrist and pulled him forward aggressively, their foreheads coming to touch as Hoya was seconds away from placing the second kiss on Dongwoo's lips that he dreamed of. "You're not leaving, I'm never making that mistake again."

But I know this crush ain't going away.