“I have nothing to say.” She pouted. She just so cute when she pouting. I keep giggles when she pouting like that. “What do you mean you have nothing to say? I thought you want to tell her that you love her?” Yeah, I just said that. It hurt me so bad cause I’m in love with her but something else happened.

I can hear giggling over here and over there through our dorm. It’s really fun hearing them giggling and laughing. And there she is, she’s the cutest girl I ever seen. She’s the midget in our dorm but she such a great unnie. Her laughter like an ahjumma. But when she sing, her voice was so beautiful that I could die.

“Hey Soo, urm.. Can we talk for a minute?” I just simply nodded and followed her out from the dorm. I look at her how she took a deep breath. She usually do that when she had something really important.

“What is it Taeng? Something wrong?” I tapped her shoulder.

She shakes her head a little. “It’s that, I’m in love with someone.” I was about want to kick her that time so she can fly away but I endure myself. I just smiled. A fake one.

“Really, who?” I nudged her. Even thou I’m hurt but I need to hide it well.

I was about to cry when I remembered that day when she told me she like someone. I don’t know who. But I volunteer myself to help her. Sigh. Why would you do that Sooyoung? You so stupid sometimes. I facepalms myself.

I heard someone knocking to my door really loud. I open the door lazily and saw she standing cutely in front of my bedroom door. I smiling widely. “Hi Taeng, waeyo?”

She keep playing with her fingers like a lost child. Aigoo. That’s why people keep saying that she like a lost kid. A cute one. “Urm.. Let’s go out together?” I blinked. “Don’t you have any schedule Taeng?” She shakes her head cutely.

I chuckles. “Okay, what do you want to do?”

….

I clutched my chest really tightly and crying all night long alone in the dark room.

“Sooyoung! I confessed to her!”

“Really? What does she said?” Please don’t say yes.

“She said yes.” She grinning widely. While in my heart, I feels like there’s a thousand knife stab on me.

….

I sigh deeply before I went to the living room. Today is Sunday so, everyone here. I smile softly when I’m with them on the living room.  I took a glances try to find Taeyeon but she’s not there. Even Jessica.

“Hey guys, urm.. Where’s Taeng?” Yuri look at me with a strange look. “Don’t you know?”

“Know what?”

“That they went out for they first date.” Date? Why I didn’t even think about it. They already official. Why would I bothered? I bits my lower lips hard. I stand up and took my handbag. “I went out to meet my family for awhile.”

I close the main door and leans on the door. I hold my chest. Is this what they called heartbroken?

….

I went back to my dorm very late. Around 1:10 in the morning. Usually, they already sleep so I didn’t care around the living room. So I shrug myself and walk to the kitchen try to find my ice cream.

While I scooped my ice cream, I didn’t realize that there still someone who didn’t sleep yet. Wait, who still not sleep at this time? Oh shoot! I just remember!

“Sooyoung, where have you been? You know it’s already late.” I heard her motherly voice. I took a deep breath before I turn around to meet a cute little ahjumma in front of me. “I just went back from my parent’s house Taeng.”

She sigh. “Well, you should tell us that you will be late. Don’t just keep a silent.”

“Taeng, look! I don’t want to talk right now.”

“Why? I want you to talk to me. You never been like this. What actually happened to you?” I took a deep breath. This is it Sooyoung. You can do it!

“You see Taeng, you absolutely right. There’s really something that you need to know cause maybe you can’t hear from me anymore.” She look at me with a strange look.

“I actually really-really love you so much that I can’t be brave to tell you the truth. One day, you told me you in love with someone. I just smiled. Even thou it’s hurt a lot. I said I will help and that was the stupid and I hurting myself. Everyday, I crying all myself in the room to think what will happen tomorrow. And everyday, I woke up with a swollen eyes.”

She just silent there like a mannequin. I continue.

“Look, I’m stupid for helping you that time. I should just tell you the truth that time. I’m sorry but, I have nothing to say now. Bye.”

I walk away without looking at her with teary eyes. I lock myself in my dark room. Hiding myself under the blanket while hugging the bolster really tight and crying with all my heart.