He felt trapped. Not because of the overbearing love from Seunghyun and also not Jiyong's accusing eyes. Definitely not because of the judging looks from Taeyang and Daesung. He was overwhelmed by the continuous thugging inside his heart. He wanted to let go, he wanted to fly away, he wanted to be bounded.  He was confused. Everything was contradicting in his mind and his heart. It was both hot and cold. Life should be natural, air should move like a breeze on your face. He shouldn't feel every breath he took, he shouldn't hear his heart beating. His senses, he didn't want to control them.

He was perturbed by everything.

His dream of a simple and uncomplicated life was abandoned when he accepted Seunghyun’s love game. His innocent and naive self was long gone. Now he embraced every control he has and he calculated every step he take. He became a player who refused to lose the game but felt a loser nevertheless.

Maybe the truth was he was not capable of true love. The kind of love that was often described by every love story.  Maybe he was never meant to experience that kind of love. But of course noone could deny that there was love between them. Maybe he just wasn't capable of handling Seunghyun. Maybe he was tired of waiting. Or maybe he was afraid. He didn't dare admit that Seunghyun had took him apart, his possessiveness had open the pandora box inside Seungri's heart, revealing his true nature. Seungri enjoyed and loved this sick love game. He found comfort in it.

'He wanted to be free and loved.'

He no longer wanted to be free. Because love meant to be trapped with your partner forever. Asking for freedom was asking too much. That was what Seunghyun had taught him. If he had let Seungri go, it would only lead to Seunghyun being cautious and unsettled. The heartache could lead to people losing their minds. Love was keeping your partner close and binding him with you. He wondered if it had been his pride and ego asking Seunghyun to let him go? Had he been really that naive to believe that Seunghyun would finally act like a normal person?

‘Letting go so that if he is yours, he will come back to you.’

Who was he kidding?

That will never be the case for Seunghyun, he realized it now. But what terrified him wasn't Seunghyun's definition of love but Seungri himself who is agreeing with Seunghyun. Seungri who had accepted it like it was the most natural thing. He no longer wanted their love to fall into that category. Seunghyun could continue to hold himself tight to him. Seunghyun