☁ Kim Jongin's Corner ☁ ❝ [review and recommendation] ❞

review prepared by: equioxstar

1. TITLE (8/10) I like how both the title of the fanfic and the title of the first chapter are based off of G-Dragon songs. It's cute. Not original, but still cute.

2. OVERALL APPEARANCE (10/10) I love the color scheme you used. The colors are all very muted, but they're pretty and the pictures you chose for the gifs and the poster give off an angsty theme – which I feel is appropriate for your story. It's also very organized and easy to navigated/read. Good job!

3. DESCRIPTION (4/10) I feel your description is confusing and misleading. From the first paragraph, I got that the story is based off of G-Dragon's song 'Crooked' , but your explanation of the song made absolutely no sense to me. What does "ruling his life so cruelly" and "stuffed up so many times in his life and yet he is willing to give up" mean? Those phrases make no sense to me. I suggest you look at the actual meaning of the lyrics here: http://rapgenius.com/G-dragon-crooked-english-version-lyrics#note-2205779 and then write your explanation. The second paragraph was centered around on Ji Yong, which led me to believe the story was going to be from his point of view and basically tell us about his journey of actually falling in love with Chae and then having to deal with the ex-boyfriend Baekhyun, whom Chae still has feelings for, showing up again after x number of years. But instead, in the forward and the first chapter, you make it all about Chaerin. I think you should change the second paragraph in the description and make it more Chae-themed, rather than Ji Yong-themed.

4. FOREWORD (3/10) Okay, you did not need to include half of what you have in the forward - especially because Baekhyun doesn't even physically come into the story in the first chapter. Reading your forward, I literally got to the point where I was just like, "When is this going to end?" Honestly, you would have captured my interest a lot more if you had just had the last paragraph as your forward – the last paragraph was spectacular. I think you should instead make your forward a short account of the party at which Ji Yong and Chae Rin were dared to be a couple for a month – that would have been a much more fitting lead-in for your first chapter. You can wait and just hold all this background stuff between Chan and Baekhyun for when Baekhyun actually makes an appearance in the story.

5. MAIN STORY (25/30) This little love triangle you're setting up between Ji Yong, Chae and Baek is not a new concept. So, it's not very original, but I did enjoy the story nevertheless. I also liked how you're going to have characters from three groups rather than just two. Props for that.

6. OVERALL ENJOYMENT (4/5) You had some really good one-liners and descriptions in there, and all your commenters seem to enjoy it.

7. FLOW (15/15) Somehow The story made sense. They fought, he apologized, they had hot make-up . The story made sense.

8. WRITING (9/10) I can tell you are a good writer. But I can also tell English is not your first language. Your grammar literally made me cringe the whole time I was reading. 'Crooked Road' has the potential to be great story – but I beg you to please find someone who has English as their first language to edit it for you. Other than that, your writing style was really easy to understand and follow. Gold star for you!

T O T A L : 78/ 100