It was night.

Staring up at the stars and the moonlight was one of my favorite things to do. I turned to my right, feeling someone’s warm hand gently pat me on my shoulder. Xiumin, my brother sat next to me.

“What’re you thinking about Luhan?”

I smiled, “Nothing...just about how I used to like stargazing at night.”

“Ah ha...remember when we were both little and we would always sneak out the window of the nursery to sit on the roof? My best memories were during that time,” he said, smiling in nostalgia.

I smiled.

The old memories of Xiumin and I living in the orphanage. I was abandoned by my parents. My parents left me here in Korea as they went back to China, my mother land. Xiumin’s parents passed away and with no one to take custody of him, he was sent to the orphanage. I lived there longer than him but those were the only memories we had of our childhood. Those days where we would wake up first, calling dibs on toys. Saving each other a seat next to the other during breakfast, lunch and dinner. The nights during the spring and summer where we sat outside on the rooftop, dreaming of a big house and all the food and toys there were. On the rooftop where we pinky promised to be brothers forever and ever and that one day if we ever separated, we’d do whatever we can to find each other . Now, we were finished with high school, already in our second year of college.

Recalling those memories, I laughed.

“Xiumin-gege, do you remember our promise we made to each other long ago?” I asked, half expecting him to forget.

“Of course I remember!” he said, sounding offended.

I laughed again.

“What would be the first thing you do after this war is over?” I asked.

There was silence and I could only watch as more stars began appearing.

“I don’t know what I would do. After all, all I need is you, my precious dongsaeng,” he said.

I laughed, trying to hide my sadness. But what if I didn’t make it through this war? What would you do then? I couldn’t find the confidence in me to ask him. Before I could turn my attention back to the stars, he began to hum a soft ballad.

And I sang along.

We weren’t the best musicians, but little melodies come to us randomly and we sing as if we had performed the song over a dozen times.

“Ahaha...I can imagine someone playing the piano along with us and maybe another singer,” I said cutting the song to an end.

Xiumin chuckled.

“I had a dream last night...that we had a lot of brothers and they were really gifted in music. They were all younger than us and we would dance, laugh and play together. It was one of the best dreams I’ve ever had,” he said solemnly.

I tried not to gasp. I had a similar dream a couple of years ago. It was a strange dream but it made me happy.

“Sometimes I feel like us two are incomplete.”

Xiumin didn’t even bat an eye.

“Agreed…”

I concentrated back at the stars.

“It was a beautiful dream...I couldn't stop myself from craving that beautiful vision. It was the best thing I was ever given...hope for the future," I said.

“Agreed,” he said without a moments hesitation.

“Ah! It’s a shooting star Luhan! Make a wish!” shouted Xiumin, pointing energetically.

“Ahaha! Okay!”

I clapped my hands together, and closed my eyes.

I wish for Xiumin’s happiness and that we will both survive.

I opened my eyes and turned to look at Xiumin as he finished his wish.

“What’d you wish for?” he asked with a childish grin.

“You tell me yours first,” I proclaimed.

He refused and laughed.

I stretched my legs out and before I could lay down, a couple of rabbits ran pass in a furry. I stood up quickly as the rare silence disappeared and loud gun shots were heard in the distance. Xiumin stood up and we both ran quickly in the opposite direction. The gun shots were getting louder and louder until I heard a voice shout.

“There’s two of them! Get them!”

I turned to look back and about ten soldiers were charging at us. They shot at us randomly and hit Xiumin. He fell down so I stopped to go by his side. There was blood running down the side of his left leg and he couldn’t walk anymore. I grabbed his arm so I could carry him on my back and run but he pushed me.

“GO! Run away Luhan!” He shouted while pushing me.

“No! I won’t leave without you!”

“Go you stupid! Leave! Save yourself before it’s too late!” He pushed me again.

I refused and held onto his arm. The soldiers closed in on us and one of them grabbed Xiumin, ripping him away from my grasp. Another held my arms behind me and kicked me as I struggled to get back to my older brother.

“Let me go you dirtbags!” I shouted, tears blinding me.

I felt another blow to my head but I kept struggling to be freed.

“Where are you two rats going? Where are the other people?” asked the one who seemed to be in charge.

I refused to answer, tears streaming down my cheeks.

“Oh, so you’re a pretty boy huh? Is the little girl too scared to answer back?” His voice dripped with intimidation.

I grit my teeth in anger. Xiumin was still, slowly turning even more pale than he already was. The blood from his wound had already began to pool on the grass.

“Luhan...I’m sorry. We got caught because of me…”

“Don’t speak you unless you’re asked to!” shouted one of the soldiers who was holding onto me.

“Luhan...make sure you get away safely okay? And when this whole senseless war ends, you find brothers like me who loves you more than anything, okay?” he said once again.

My heart began to beat faster in fear.

The guard behind him brought his gun up and shot him twice from the back, near his heart.

There was silence. Where was my voice?

He dropped to the floor in a bloody mess and I felt my mouth open to cry but nothing came out. My heart felt like it had left me and a cold sweat swept through me. The guards in front of me snickered and laughed in joy.

“Where are people hiding? Tell me now before you end up where your friend is going to right now.”

I stared at the man who just spoke. He had a braided beard that reached to the middle of his chest. Three golden medals hung across his chest, symbolizing importance. There was blood stained onto the sides of his green military pants and a huge scar ran along his arm. This man...no, this heartless thing was the one who shot my only family.

“What are you looking at me like that for? You want to die as well?” he said threatenly.

“ you...to damn hell! All of you!” I shouted.

I didn’t care that my voice cracked. I didn’t care that I got hit again in the back of the head. I looked right back up to the murderer who had shot my brother. He brought up his gun and shot at me. I didn’t flinch. The bullet never touched me. It stopped nearly an inch away from my right eye. It stayed in mid-air, as if time was stopped. Then fell to the cold grass in a muffled thump.

“W-what the hell?!” shouted one of them.

I was surprised as well. But I felt weird inside.

Welcome back…

I looked up at the stars that had suddenly seemed to speak to me. Then I looked down at my Gege. What was the point of fighting for my life now if I didn’t have anyone to fight for? Those brothers in my dreams were only a figment of what I desired. Thats the only reason why they came to exist. My only reason to live, murdered in front of me. I didn’t do anything to help him. I’m as guilty as the killers.

“Just shoot me. JUST SHOOT ME DAMN BASTARD!” I shouted.

I heard some snickers and then four continuous shots to my chest. My vision began to blur and I was suddenly back on the old rooftop of the old orphanage, the sky full of stars. The soft melody that we both were singing blasted through the background. Next to me was Xiumin who turned to me and smiled.

“You weren’t supposed to be here yet,” he whispered.

I looked at him, my eyes watering.

“Xiumin...I’m sorry I didn’t fight back…”

He smiled at me calmly and patted my head.

“Look, it’s our brothers,” he said, nudging his head behind me.

I turned around, and there sat white figures, looking up at the stars. Some waved to me and one of them hopped over to my side.  Another sat by the edge, calling out my name and pointed up.

“One day, we’ll all make it back to the Galaxy safely, to MAMA…”

MAMA…