‘Would you mind if I join you here?’ I looked up after hearing a female voice and saw Bom holding two cans of beer, offering me one of them.

 

 

‘Don’t worry, I don’t mind at all.’ I took the beer she was offering and lazily drank from it.

 

 

‘So how long have you two been friends?’ I looked at her once again and this time she was looking at his brother, Kwon Jiyong who was busy preparing barbecue with Bom’s fiancé Youngbae.  

 

 

‘I just had the chance to talk to him yesterday. He helped me look for my lost kitten. Then he invited me to join your weekend get together for me to earn friends since I am new here.’ I answered casually.

 

 

She looked at me as if studying me. I suddenly felt conscious as to what she might take me for. I decided to wear a baby blue summer dress that I believe is not too girly or too eye-catching for a Sunday barbecue with friends.

 

 

I wanted to back out waking up the following morning with this big feeling of guilt. I really don’t know why I feel this way but, I now that being friends with Jiyong will not give me anything good. But after seeing him that morning all hyped up and excited with that big grin plastered on his face I can’t help but feel the need to be with him and feel excited to meet his friends.

 

I wanted to shake off the feeling of giddiness when he told me that I look ‘exceptionally pretty’ with my dress. Knowing full well that it is not good to feel such thing, but when he held my hand and guided me going to his back yard, I can’t help but feel special. I haven’t felt this way for so long. It might be that Il Woo is not that much in to publicly displaying signs of affection towards me. Apart from holding my hands while walking, which is what Kwon Jiyong is doing as of the moment, I don’t even get why I feel such a teenager going to her first date. For crying out loud I have a boyfriend!

 

 

‘It’s good that your boyfriend let you join us. I don’t know if you have one, but looking at how pretty you are and how you seem to exude a vibe of a happy girl in a relationship, I can’t help but assume that you are seeing someone.’ I looked back at her and smiled, knowing full well that it is only her way in asking if I am in a relationship.

 

 

‘He is in a conference right now. We used to spend weekends together back when I was still in med school but everything changed after I graduated and after I passed the exam. I eventually transferred here to be near him so that we could at least spend more time together, but their growing business needs him more.’

 

 

‘Good thing you are not getting tired of this set up.’ I saw her staring at me intently; I just bowed down and smiled to smile before answering.

 

 

 

‘I can never get tired. I love him and I know he loves me too so we need to grow and understand that we are no longer a college couple that needs to be together every day. That we now how our own schedules and aspirations in life, but that doesn’t mean that we should forget the fact that whatever aspirations we have, we should always remember that there is someone behind us supporting us and loving us.’ I can feel Bom’s intent stare at me however I don’t know why I feel that whatever I said early was not really happening to me and Il Woo, that after saying that I can now feel the burden of being in a relationship that seemed to have stopped growing two years ago.

 

 

‘Do you have plans in getting married soon?’ I just had to smile as an answer. I don’t even know if Il Woo has thought of them. We haven’t talked about it. Of course I do want to get married with him. Have kids and grow old with us still holding hands sitting side by side and peacefully thinking about the wonderful memories that we had shared.

 

 

 

I never doubted Il Woo’s intentions with me. He has always been vocal when it comes to telling me how much he loves and respects me. How he wanted to spend the rest of our lives together, but never spoken anything about marriage, I would have been okay with it if I was still in college, when the two of us just started dating, it would be something not more than a wishful thinking that our relationship would last and that everything would be permanent.

 

 

 

But being a lady, at my age, I no longer want to just have the assurance that the relationship would work but that the relationship would grow and be strong that there will be just the two of us, together, forever.

 

 

 

Is it bad to think that I am worth being offered eternal love from the man you love? Marriage is something that every girl’s dreaming off, since the day they would be cute little flower girls or being the Maid of Honor for the nth time.

 

 

 

‘I definitely understand where you are coming from. Youngbae and I have been a couple since god knows when and it took him one freaking hot officemate to finally propose to me. He was afraid that I would be snatched away from him if he would not be going to move any faster. Not that I would cheat on him just for him to put a ring on my finger. I know that he had that intention after all we’ve been dating for so long and half the time we were actually away from each other.’

 

 

 

It was my turn to look at her and be marveled with that look she was giving her fiancé. I was the look of contentment and of satisfaction, of love and adoration. I wish I would have that same look. The same feeling of contentment that she is feeling right now; I wonder when it would happen to me. I wonder if it would be with Il Woo or with another guy.

 

 

 

Just then Jiyong suddenly came in from behind us offering us kebabs that they have made.

 

 

 

 

‘You two looks like you are talking so seriously here.’  He said while giving me the kebab he was holding.

 

 

 

I suddenly felt the need to hide the fact that we were actually talking about Il Woo, my boyfriend, but I know I should inform him about it. That I should provide him that information, to avoid conflicts in the future. But why do I suddenly feel that I should not tell him anything about Il Woo?

 

 

‘We are talking about Dara’s love life. You didn’t tell me that she is dating someone. And they have been dating for a long time now too.’ Thank you Bom for tactless, I looked at him and I saw the shock and confusion that registered in his face.

 

 

 

 

‘I didn’t know too.’ Was that resentment I heard from his voice?

 

 

 

 

 

‘I don’t have the reason to share it that’s why you didn’t know.’ I tried to lessen the now impending awkwardness we are having.

 

 

 

 

‘Well I better go to Youngbae now. How could you leave my fiancé cooking all by himself?’ She stood abruptly and left us in the worst awkward silence I have ever experienced.

 

 

 

‘I hope your boyfriend would not mind you hanging out with me.’ I tried reading what he is thinking right now but it was really hard.

 

 

‘Of course he would not mind, plus I believe he trusts me and my judgment with choosing who I want to be friends with.’ Friends? Seriously friends?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I think she wants to kill me. It is something to know that she is already taken but for her to take me only as a friend is something.

 

 

 

 

After a little more chit chatting, which was mostly filled with awkward silence, I decided to go for a quick swim to wash of the thoughts that have been running in my mind. Bom talked to me and said that Dara’s boyfriend would be out of sight for a week, and after that all I could think of is how I could snatch her away from him in the span of six days.

 

 

 

 

I never tried interfering with someone else’s relationship but darn it. I want to be with Dara so bad. I have never been this too attached to a girl. A girl who is currently in a relationship for that matter, I would do anything so that I she can be mine.

 

 

 

 

I will not give her up without a fight. That is something I would never do, I know that this would be too early for me to say but I know that what I am feeling is not just a simple infatuation or me being mesmerized by her beauty. But this is love and I know that I have a big chance of winning over  this big fight with an unknown enemy.

 

 

 

Forgive me for being selfish but I will make sure that she will be mine and that she would realize that we are meant for each other and that is why we were destined to meet.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

After dinner, Dara offered to help me clean the dishes. By now she has already established great fondness over my friends, Seungri, Chaerin, Minzy and Deasung just like how my friend are fond of her too. Which is amazingly new since they never liked any of my previously girlfriends. And the fact that Dara and I are not even dating, at least not yet.

 

 

 

 

I walked her to her house, lending her my jacket.

 

 

 

 

‘Thank you for allowing me to meet you friends; they are just so much fun to be with.’ She said with that bright and innocent smile of hers.

 

 

 

 

‘Then how about me? Don’t you find my company enjoyable too?’ I . I want to know if there is indeed a chance for me to win this fight.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Then I saw her blush and chuckled before answering.

 

 

‘Of course it was so much fun talking to you too. I had a great day. Well, here we are. I will be seeing you around Jiyong. ‘She looked at me before giving me back my jacket. Before my sane mind stopped me, I grabbed her and I captured her lips in a sweet kiss.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

There is no more thinking, let me work on it. I don’t want to give up just yet. She is worth everything and more.