Italics = thoughts 

Chapter 9

Three weeks later, on a Friday at 6:30am, Hyukjae climbed down the stairs with a different bag pack then the one he used for school. He went to the kitchen and grabbed his supply of strawberry creamed bread – about five of them – and put them into the bag, zipped it and shouldered it as he walked to the front door to leave the house.

“You can’t run away from home, Hyukjae.”

The deep voice of his father made him stop. Hyukjae rolled his eyes before he turned around and looked at his father who stood on the stairs, half-way down. His father stared at him, his lips a fine, tight line and a brow lifted. He was not happy, clearly. 

“I am not running. Tried that before and you caught me, remember?” Hyukjae glared right back at him and crossed his arms on his chest, acting defiant, “I’m going on a school trip for the next three days.”

His father snorted, “You didn’t asked my permission.”

Hyukjae chuckled mockingly, “I forged your signature on the permission slip.”

Lee Kanghun took his time as he stepped down from the stairs, his hands in his pants’ pockets, “Hyukjae,” he said, his sweet tone sounding sick to Hyukjae’s ears, “We talked about this. I never allow you to go to any school related things before. Why do you think, I am letting you leave this time?”

Hyukjae felt the need to step back but refrained himself, standing firm, “You never letting me go to any school event is the reason why you have to this time. It’s my senior year and I need extra marks. Or else, I won’t have enough to make you proud of me, I might even have a hard time graduating by the end of the year. So,” Hyukjae turned away and headed for the door again. He pulled the door open, and said, “By the way, dad, this is not my home,” with such a disgusted spat when he addressed his father, before he slammed the door close.

He had not intended to see his father before leaving, thinking it would be fun to just leave and make the man mad thinking, where he might have ran too. But, he guessed it was better. His father could go berserk like he did all those few times Hyukjae really tried running away. Hyukjae would not want some men in suits suddenly appear on the camping ground his school had chosen. He never liked being in the spotlight, and a group of men coming to get him would be like the stadium lights showering the field, him.

Hyukjae shut the gate of the house. Just as he was about to turn to the right way to school, a set of arms enveloped him from behind and Hyukjae had no heart to yell. Instead he chuckled when the arms pulled him back slightly, “Morning, Hae.”

Donghae, with arms still around Hyukjae, leaned to the side with his head tilted, letting Hyukjae looked him. His lips stretched so wide, his eyes almost closed and looking like the crescent moon. Hyukjae brought his hand up and placed it on Donghae’s hair, patting him while he gently brought Donghae to his side. 

“Morning, Hyukkie. I am so happy because finally, after three years, you are coming with me on a school event,” Donghae said, excited. 

“Tsk, I am not coming with you. There are others too.” They walked, Hyukjae’s hand dropping to the side and he let Donghae took it.

Hyukjae had no worries or discomforts anymore about holding hands. It felt normal, especially after the hundredth time their hands brushed with each other as they walked side by side. He did not mind anything, actually, as long as it was Donghae who initiated the touches, rather than him. Despite everything, Hyukjae was still unsure about how their relationship worked. In fact, he was not entirely sure what their relationship was.

Donghae loved him, that was crystal clear. But, it was more to what himself was feeling that confused him. Hyukjae felt warmth spreading through him when he was engulfed  in hugs and touches, making him forgot about the coldness he felt being at his house. He felt cared for as Donghae walked him home. He loved the fact that Donghae introduced him to his mother, making Hyukjae felt belonged. 

Yet, Hyukjae could not bring himself to find those feelings when he did not have them. Something blocked him from grabbing onto those hopeful thoughts and sense of love. Hyukjae would love to sort out those feelings, to find the warmth and care Donghae would willingly give to him. But, right now, his thoughts and feelings were tangled. He felt knotted, as if something twisted his guts every time he let himself wander in those tangles. Hyukjae realized he was scared after several nights gone without sleeping. He wanted to feel love, to take love, yet he was scared to let the boundaries he had set around himself drop. 

“Wow! Stop.”

An arm braked Hyukjae’s walk and train of thoughts simultaneously. Donghae held out his arm in front of his torso, halting them both at the junction where they would always meet. Hyukjae watched as the school president looked left, right and left again, before the arm in front of him was gone and a hand grabbed his cold one again. He stared at Donghae, letting the boy led him as they crossed the road. Naturally, a smile was pulled on his face.

They continued to walk to school, “See? That is much safer. I think I should wait for you in front of your home every day just to ensure your safety.”

“Not my home.” The words left his mouth involuntarily instead of just surfacing in his mind. Hyukjae gaped for a moment before he faced the road and not Donghae.

“What?” asked Donghae.

“N-Nothing. I was thinking of something corny to say,” Hyukjae tried to cover it. Hyukjae saw Donghae looking at him again with a tilted head, “Look in front or you might hit something.”

“You are looking front, so I can look at you. I trust you no matter where you lead me too.”

Hyukjae felt the fondness from the words yet at the same time he felt so embarrassed for the one who had said the words. He gasped out a chuckle. Then, the warmth started creeping to his cheeks, “Aish, why are you like this?” he chastised softly.

“I thought we are on the stage of being corny to each other. You said you were thinking of something corny,” Donghae grinned at him.

Hyukjae raised a brow, “Corny sta – what?”

Donghae patted his arm, “Anyway, I am just doing what you did just now. You trusted me to take you across the road safely. You were looking at me the entire time, I saw,” Donghae halted them again and he turned Hyukjae toward him. The school was just around the next corner, “I hope we are at that level of trusting. I want to believe that you will take care of me and you won’t let anything bad happen to me. I also want you to believe that I won’t let anything bad happen to you. I already believe you to keep my secret, I hope you feel the same way too.”

Is love that easy?

Maybe.

Is it just like that? Just like having a best friend that you can trust anything with?

Love is easy, stupid.

No, it is not… I had someone before and it was hard.

I said love is easy, not the letting go part, stupid…

Hyukjae nodded, first slowly – still contemplating – then more genuinely as he smiled at Donghae. His best friend, Donghae. As they walked around the corner, their hands on their own let go of each other’s. It was a battle of self-restrained when in school for them. They could not let anyone know, not yet, not now. 

Everyone was waiting to board the bus. Donghae, who would be the one handling the trip aside from teachers who followed as advisors, stood next to the door of the bus while Hyukjae lined with the other students. 

As his name was called out, Hyukjae moved to the door and climbed up. That was when he lost his balance, not used to getting on a bus. His right hand quickly found Donghae’s shoulder while Donghae already wrapped an arm around his back to catch his fall. Thankfully, he did not fall and Donghae managed to help him balance himself. Hyukjae heard the snickers coming from the group of students. Not wanting to care, he grabbed the rail and was about to climb again when Donghae whispered to him.

“First row, left side.” Hyukjae nodded and went up, Donghae’s hand brushing him. He missed the glare Donghae gave to the other students, but he did hear the school president calling the names harsher, unlike when he called Hyukjae’s. It became clear why his best friend – boyfriend – chose these seats; no one would be sitting on the other side, not even the four teachers.

When Donghae came up, he shooed Hyukjae to sit next to the window, “I want you to have the nicest view of our journey,” he smiled as he sat down and then the driver moved out of the school compound.

“You are such a hopeless romantic,” Hyukjae whispered to him.

Donghae smirked, “You still like me that way, don’t you? Or do you like it more if I be a jerk?” 

Hyukjae hit him, “Don’t use that against me.” He turned away and faced the window, hiding his face that was getting redder by the second. He did not understand why Donghae’s smirk always make him hyped up which would lead to other quite rated thoughts.

A hand tugged his sleeve, “But why, Hyukkie? I thought you love it.”

“Because it makes me want to – ” Hyukjae cut himself off, swallowing the words that almost left his mouth in his hushed talk. 

Donghae squinted his eyes and the smirk returned to his lips, “Makes you want to what? Kis – ” A hand shut his mouth and Donghae stared at Hyukjae with big, doe eyes. 

“No. Don’t say anything like that, or else I will tape your mouth,” Hyukjae warned before he released his hold on Donghae and mock a glare.

Donghae pouted for a moment before he snickered, both of them trying to keep their voices low and only themselves could hear, “You know, Hyukkie, you are really .” 

Hyukjae gritted his teeth but then grinned and chuckled along with Donghae. He used his finger and pressed the other’s cheek, turning Donghae’s face away. The school president just poked his cheek back. The poke turned to pinching in a moment and then they were pinching each other’s cheeks with both hands until both were in pain. Facing each other, they both still had the smiled on their faces, soft and admiring. Hyukjae caressed Donghae’s left cheek and in turn, he caressed Hyukjae’s. They leaned against the caress, and both squished the hands against the soft seat, taking the comfort from it. 

The thought of watching the view replaced with staring at each other, it was much more satisfying for not just Donghae but Hyukjae too.

They got to the camping ground past afternoon, stopping for lunch and having to walk to it. It was cleared, near the edges of the forest and they could hear the stream of water, the chirping of birds and crunched of sticks as they continued to walk. Hyukjae was astonished by it as he walked around by himself – Donghae had things to do.

Everyone gathered in front of Donghae as he called using a megaphone’s siren, “Today, as it is nearing three, we are not going to be doing any activity. The activities will start tomorrow and will be led by the school’s board of leaders. In no condition are any of you allowed to go anywhere alone, even to do your personal business. When I say personal business, I mean nature’s call, and not your hormones’s call,” that earned a roar of laughter from the students.

There are all together ninety-six of us here, including the teachers. So, in a group of three, take a tent and pitch it up anywhere on this clearance. No one is going to get a tent to him or herself, not even the teachers,” Donghae looked to his left and grinned at them, “Who will sleep in a tent of two. Follow the instruction by the members of the board. You will be assigned a task, either to help with the cook, get woods for the fire or anything. This trip can only be fun, if all of you cooperate. Now, when I say go, you can start. Ready,” nearly everyone started talking, some grabbing hands, others shouting to some across the field, “Go!”

While everyone else was running around, Hyukjae stood there, not sure what he should do nor who would be his tent mate. Many bumped into him, shoving him to the side. Hyukjae could not get away when he tried to. Suddenly, someone slammed into him so hard he fell on his back, his breath knocked out of him for a second. He was so grateful no one stepped on him. 

My schoolmates are crazy!

“Yah! Move away!” Hyukjae heard a familiar voice scream through a megaphone.

A moment later, the shouts of excitement distant away from Hyukjae. He wondered why. Then, it was answered. Donghae skidded down next to him and looked at him, worry was very clear in his eyes and Hyukjae could not help feeling blown by it. Donghae was looking at him, grabbing his hands and asking if he was okay with genuine care and Hyukjae felt tears b in his eyes. He held them back and nodded at his best friend. Donghae pulled him and brushed of the grass, dirt and sticks that stuck to him.

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, it’s nothing.”

Donghae sighed and he held on to Hyukjae’s arm, guiding him toward a clear area. Hyukjae only noticed the other was carrying a bag of tent when Donghae threw it to the ground.

“I’m sharing it with you?”

Donghae laughed, “Obviously. Why? Afraid you have no self-control if I lie down next to you?”

Hyukjae glared at him and crossed his arms, “No. Who’s the other one sleeping with us?”

“No one,” Donghae stepped closer, biting his lips as he looked at Hyukjae with eyes full of intent, “Just us, me and you,” the enticing smirk was back, gracing his face. Hyukjae almost lost it when Donghae his own lips.

Damn! How dare he? How dare he?

Hyukjae pushed Donghae away, placed his bag on the ground and squatted down to start pitching up the tent. He heard Donghae laughed and it was contagious enough to make him cracked a grin. They both pitched up the tent together, working well hand in hand. It was almost ready when Donghae was called by the teachers. He said he would go later and finished the tent first, but, Hyukjae said it was okay and he would finish it. Still, Donghae said sorry and pouted at him before he ran to the teacher’s tents.

Hyukjae was done minutes later and he had just placed their bags inside the tent. He admired his work as he stared at the tent with a satisfied smile. It was his first time going camping and he was proud for not having any trouble, yet.

“Go get the firewoods.”

Hyukjae turned to the source of voice and saw Heejun, Jihyun and couple more of their friends, “What?”

“Yah. We have tasks remember? You task is to go look for firewood.” 

“But – ”

Heejun stepped up closer, “You think you are friends with the school president so you don’t have to do anything?”

Hyukjae huffed, “It’s not that. I just – ” He was pushed toward the forest.

“You talk too much. Just go.” 

“Maybe he doesn’t know what firewood looks like, Heejun,” the whole group snickered. 

Fed up by their taunts, Hyukjae entered the forest, stomping on his way in. He walked fast until he no longer could hear their laughters. He was happy to just be surrounded by the trees and sound of water streaming. He kept walking, looking for firewood. Of course he knew what it looked like. But, as he walked and walked, with sticks crunching beneath his feet and the skies turning from blue to reddish orange, he could not find it. The flock of birds flying up in the sky scared him as the sound of them flapping their wings echoed in the forest. The sound of streaming water had dimmed as well. 

Hyukjae gulped as he turned around, relying on his instinct to get back to the camping ground.

Donghae…

-    

Donghae was looking for Hyukjae, not seeing him anywhere. His meeting with the teachers had taken quite some time. Then, he had to meet with the other board members and discussed the things with them. Only now, when it was already after six, was he done finalizing the plans. First thing he did after that was went back to his and Hyukjae’s tent, only to find Hyukjae was not there. He walked around the camping ground, his eyes wild as he looked for his boyfriend. He was growing frustrated and worried. Whoever he asked, they did not know where his Hyukkie went. Donghae did not give up and continued walking between the scattered tents.

“Yah, Lee Donghae. Looking for you bestie?”

Donghae stopped on his track and turned to look at those sitting around the tent on his right. He tilted his head, his face grim as he stalked closer toward them, “Yes. Know where he is?”

Heejun shrugged, “Not sure. He just said he would go look for firewood in the forest.”

Donghae did not even believe his words for a second but he played along, smirking, “Really? You didn’t tell him that there is no firewood that can be found in the forest?”

“Oh! I thought he was clever enough to know that. Clearly he is a bit dense to not know such things.”

Donghae launched at him, grabbing Heejun’s collar and gritted his teeth, “I will make you regret saying that. But now, tell me where he is.”

Heejun snorted, “How about no?”

Knowing he could not punch Heejun right there, Donghae released his hold on him. He grabbed the other kid next to him, who looked frail and already shaken. Donghae pulled him up by his collar, holding tight, “You tell me.” He glared deep into the kid’s eyes while he bared his teeth. The kid quickly pointed toward an areas of a forest right behind his and Hyukjae’s tent. Donghae pushed the kid onto Heejun before he took off running into the forest.

“Hyukkie!” Donghae screamed as loud as he could, “Hyukjae!” He trudged deeper into the forest, his worry growing. 

“Hae!” 

Donghae was fast to act when he head the shout of his name. His ears on focus, he ran toward the voice that seemed to be muffled by the sound of running water. As Donghae ran, the sound got louder and louder. Not long after that, he saw Hyukjae near the edge of the river bank and relief flooded him. 

“Hyukkie.”

Hyukjae turned around and faced him, his blonde messy yet glowing. Donghae took a moment to admire how he looked, a smile forming on his face.

“Why did you come in here? And why didn’t you come back?”

“Some people annoyed me and kept pestering me to find firewood. To avoid those annoying people, I walked in here. As to why I didn’t come back,” Hyukjae bit his lip, looking wary, “I wasn’t sure how. The only clue I had was the river so I walked to it. See, it’s right down – ” 

Hyukjae was suddenly out of Donghae’s sight and both of them did not even have time to scream as the ground beneath Hyukjae crumbled and caused Hyukjae to tumbled down.

“Hyukkie!” Donghae ran and with care got closer to the river. He found Hyukjae seated in the shallow water, his hair matted to his forehead and his bottom lips jutted out as he looked at Donghae.

“I’m wet.”

Donghae wanted to cry for his heart that nearly stop when Hyukjae fell, but, he also felt like laughing as Hyukjae seemed to not realize that saying that he was wet could mean something else. He helped Hyukjae out of the water and walked back to the tent, his arm always around his boyfriend to give him some warmth. He let Hyukjae changed his clothes as he went to get their dinner and the teachers permission to let him take care of Hyukjae for the night. When he got back to the tent, Hyukjae had already snuggled up under the blanket with warm pads underneath his shirt.

“Eat first, then sleep.”

“No!” Hyukjae covered his face with the thin blanket. 

“Hyukkie,” Donghae whined at him and his boyfriend sighed but still sat up. He fed Hyukjae the steaming stew as Hyukjae was busy holding the warm pads closed to himself. Right after the last spoon, Hyukjae lied back down on his side, facing the tent. 

Donghae placed the bowl at the edge of the tent before he too lied down. Smiling, he wrapped his arm around Hyukjae’s middle and dragged himself closer to his boyfriend. Then, he heard Hyukjae whined.

“Awww, Hae! Don’t spoon me.”

“Why?”

Hyukjae whined again, “No!” He turned and pushed Donghae away although he did not budge. 

“But, I want to keep you warm. And I just want to hug you,” Donghae wrapped his arm around his again.

Hyukjae turned to lie on his other side and glared at Donghae, only his eyes visible as the other parts of his face was covered by the blanket, “If you want to keep me warm, then come here.” Hyukjae’s hands came out from under the blanket and he placed them on the floor of the tent.

Smiling, Donghae lifted Hyukjae’s head gently and placed his hand underneath it. He was content when Hyukjae snuggled against it. Next, Donghae placed his hand between Hyukjae’s and he moved closer. He hold the hand tight, as Hyukjae wrapped his hand with two of his, caressing it with his thumb as he watched Hyukjae closed his eyes. He could feel Hyukjae’s hot breath on his face.

“You know you cannot find firewood in the forest like that, right?”

“I know now,” Hyukjae mumbled, half-asleep. 

“Good, Hyukkie.” Donghae wanted to kiss Hyukjae’s parted lips, but he opted for the cheek instead.

“Thanks, boyfriend.”

The only reason why Donghae was not screaming and jumping was because Hyukjae was falling asleep and he did not want to disturb his boyfriend. He had known that Hyukjae would need time to truly accept him and he was willing to wait. Now, he knew that his Hyukkie had finally accept him.

Hi! Sorry for not updating. I really wanted to update but my laptop is still in the workshop. This story’s draft is in that laptop and I don’t feel quite confident to write without using the guideline as this is an old story. But, I wrote this! In between studying for my Physics exam tomorrow /I’m going to die but who cares xD/ And this camping trip is not even in the draft hehehe. I made this up. This is for their relationship development, rather than plot. I hope you did not find it boring. Hopefully, pray with me, that I will get my laptop very soon. Love cookies for all! Tell me what you think, okay?