italics = Hyukjae's thoughts

Chapter 7

Donghae dived in again, his eyes once again closed. He pressed his lips, not quite hard but not too gentle either, only enough to feel the full lips of his crush against his. For a brief second, he could feel the lips pressing back but it was gone as if it never happened. But the light feeling, albeit could be just an imagination from a long desire, was enough to make Donghae moved back and his fierce eyes returned back to the gentle look he reserved for Hyukjae at all time. Though, his pupils were slightly dilated and enlarged before he casted his eyes to the floor, not daring to look at the blonde boy in front of him.

Hyukjae on the other hand seemed lost and struck, though he stop leaning against the board he was shoved into. He was breathing hard, his chest moving rapidly and he could only hear his own blood pumping in his heart. It was not that he was breathless because of the kiss, because such a light kiss did not stole his breath away. But there was something coursing through him, his entire being and he could only stand frozen. He was not sure what it was, it almost felt like fear. His lips were still tingling from a few moments ago. Unconsciously, Hyukjae’s hand almost came up to touch them, but he snapped back and dropped them before it happened. He grabbed his bag which was lying on the floor after he let it go because he was unceremoniously pushed hard against the board. Only when he bent down to grab his bag did he felt the ache on his back, “Aw!” Donghae was really harsh when he pushed him.

Hearing the whimper, Donghae sprang into action and took the bag for him, “I’m sorry.” He looked at the top of the blonde’s head, who kept his face away from Donghae’s line of sight. Donghae couldn’t help thinking what had I done? as he went to the door and opened it, not moving out but waited by it, letting Hyukjae go out first.

Hyukjae grabbed the bag from his hand, coincidentally brushing his knuckle against Donghae’s, not so gently and walked out, not sparing a glance at the school president.

Donghae followed, silently, his eyes staring at the back of Hyukjae’s form as they strolled out of the school’s gate and headed toward the blonde’s house. Donghae made sure he was at five steps behind. He didn’t want Hyukjae to feel his presence as a bother but just enough to know he was there.

Too fast for both of them, Hyukjae had grabbed the small gate into his house and opened it, closing it back behind him. He took a step away, but his hand was still wrapped around one of the rails. Hesitating for a moment he then turned back and looked at Donghae, “Don’t wait for me tomorrow.” With that, he made to move away again, but stopped when Donghae talked.

“I’ll wait as usual. What happened doesn’t have to change anything.”

Hyukjae looked at the other’s eyes; the fury in them was gone, unlike when Donghae had confessed to him. What remained were dark brown eyes they never dried. Tears glistened and threatened to fall.

“It changed a lot of things.”

“But it doesn’t have to. F-forget it. It doesn’t matter.”

Despite popular belief, Hyukjae was not stupid and he was far from ignorant. He knew he could never forget it, and he also would not play stupid and deny that it mattered a lot to Donghae. The other boy clearly would never forget it either.

The blonde sighed, “Just don’t wait tomorrow, Hae. Go home. It’s getting late.” He then walked away from the gate and into his house.

Donghae stood on the other side of the road, peering up to look at Hyukjae’s window. The curtain was opened and Donghae saw Hyukjae placing his bag on his desk before the blonde started taking of his school blazer and then started popping his shirt’s buttons opened. Donghae, despite feeling down, blushed. He stared and then Hyukjae seemed to realize his curtain was opened. The curtain was drawn closed.

Donghae pouted for a half second before everything that had happened came back to his mind and he dragged himself home.

That night, the man who did not pay his debt for 3 months now to Donghae’s boss, had to pay it hard. Donghae was merciless. His gang stepped aside and let him be until he knocked the person out. Then, the man who was the leader of the group and the man who had recruited Donghae into the gang, went next to him and passed him a small towel before slinging his arm around the boy’s shoulders, walking with him away. The rest of the group followed behind them. Donghae used the small towel to wipe the blood off his hands.

When morning came, Donghae waited at the usual place. He looked out for Hyukjae’s bike as well, in case the boy chooses to avoid him like before. But, when he checked his watch and it was nearing 7:15am, he had never seen even a shadow of the blonde. Raking a hand through his hair, he huffed before starting to run to school. He was five minutes late but only got his name written down by his junior assistant. He bowed to the teacher in his class before taking a seat. Hyukjae had not come to school.

Throughout the day, Donghae spent his time alone, except when someone came up to him. He was almost lifeless as he walked without any particular expression on his face. As the time passed, he was sure some eyes were on him and there was murmuring of his name and Hyukjae’s whenever he walked passed a group of student. Some even shamelessly pointed at his direction without addressing him. They were talking about the test result.

Being the president of the student body was both a blessing and a curse. Everyone knew him and every single one knew him; a curse disguise as a blessing at times like this. Of course he would be the hot talk of the school when something like this occurs.

Donghae clenched his throbbing – because his hand had bruised and some cuts on his knuckle because of the beating he gave last night – hand tightly, just hoping the teachers would not take any of the talk seriously, or else. He would be in trouble and worst of all, Hyukjae would be in trouble, and it would be because of him.

Somehow, Donghae was able to keep his façade up and not punch anyone even until school ended. He went home and met his mother at the gate as she was about to head back to the store she worked at, coming home just to make the food for him just like she always did.

“Hey, you’re earlier than usual,” his mom said, smiling at him. Her smile faltered when she noticed her son's distressed look despite Donghae trying to hide it, “What’s wrong?”

Donghae gave her his best smile, grinning as wide as he could with his ever-wet eyes shining, “Nothing, just tired.”

His mom sighed, definitely not buying it. She brushed her son’s shoulder with her hands, "Okay, if you don’t want to tell me. You’re a big boy, I get it. I just hope, whatever the trouble is, it will pass soon, alright?”

Donghae nodded while taking one of his mother’s hand and kissing it.

“You can handle it. I know. Go in and eat, and then rest. You still need to work tonight, right?”

Once again he nodded. He did not have to leave that night, as his contract was to only work 4 days a week, but he still needed to go out so his mother would not be suspicious. For all his mother knew, he was working part-time as a delivery guy.

“I’ll go now, okay? Bye,” she kissed Donghae’s cheek before leaving him alone there, and the boy stared after her even when she was out of sight.

Donghae left the house per usual at about 7pm. At first he just walked, not planning where to go. Then, he found himself where his heart took him; Hyukjae’s house. He sighed and pouted, “I can’t get away from you, Hyukkie.”

He sat down on the pavement and stared up at Hyukjae’s window. He wondered if the curtain had not been open since yesterday. He took out his cigarette pack and lit one up.

Meanwhile, Hyukjae had not been productive all day and he was getting frustrated. He did not skipped school willingly, at least not at first. He woke up at nearly 8am and at first he tried getting ready but then gave up. He tried going back to sleep, in his school shirt and pajama bottom, but that was hard. He blamed it on the fact that he had slept at 5am and not the usual 12am. It was hard to sleep last night and he doubted it would be any easier this night. So, all he had done was lying on his bed after he could not understand a thing while doing self-study. How could he if his hand kept tracing his lips?

Lee Donghae.

That was the one name Hyukjae’s thoughts had been centered on all day. Everything led back to that name and what happened yesterday. Once again things were not easy, smooth and ordinary, and again it was because of Lee Donghae. Also, this time, Hyukjae realized they would never be easy, smooth and ordinary again. How could they?

His mind was in havoc. Nothing made sense. Donghae loves me? Is he serious?

Well of course he is, stupid, he kissed you!

Do you have to remind me of that?

You need to accept the fact that he kissed you.

Well, shut up, I know that! But how can he love me?

Exactly, I don’t get it either. You are stupid.

Stop mocking me!

 I am you. You are mocking yourself.

Hyukjae was seething on the inside. Suddenly, he realized his room was dark and void of any light. It was night and he had not turn on the light in his room nor was the curtain opened. He sighed and turned the switch on before moving to the tall window and pushing the curtain opened. His eyes immediately landed on a figure sitting outside his house. Grabbing his rarely used spectacle and putting it on, he realized it was Donghae.

He was shocked and stunned for a moment. Without himself realizing, his lips had curved a smile I miss him today. Before the thought fully registered in his mind, he saw something else that made his blood boil, “Is he smoking?” A second later he was stomping down the stairs and out of his house. He crossed the street straight away, luckily there was not any car passing, and stomped right up to Donghae who only stared back at him with his eyes wide, the cigarette between his lips. Hyukjae easily pulled the cigarette and threw on the ground, crunching it with his slippers.

“Will you just quit smoking? I hate it! And how dare you kissed me with that lips that also smoke cigarette?”

“I-I’m… sorry, Hyukkie?” Donghae sounded unsure. He was definitely surprised to see Hyukjae walking out to him; he did not even think he would be seen.

Hyukjae only then realized what he had said and blushed. He was silently thankful for the orange light that poured on them from the streetlight. It helped hid his red face. He opened his mouth to say something but then nothing came out. He nodded and turned around, ready to head back to his house.

A hand crept out and wrapped around his arm, making Hyukjae turned back to Donghae, “Will you come to school tomorrow?”

“I will,” Hyukjae said, shrugging Donghae’s hand off him. He then moved to go back inside again, stopping when he felt arms wrapping around him.

“I’ll wait for you as usual,” and then the arms were gone from around Hyukjae; Donghae seemed almost sheepish, hiding them behind his back.

How could I have not realized all these signs before? How could I have brushed all these things as friendly gestures?

Well, you don’t really have a lot of experience with being friendly before.

Hyukjae nodded to himself, but Donghae took it as if he agreed to meet him tomorrow. And Hyukjae did not try to make him think otherwise.

Donghae had a wide grin as he watched Hyukjae walked back inside and he waited until he saw the blonde at the window. The grin turned to a smile as he saw Hyukjae mouthing ‘go home’ at him. He nodded before he waved and headed back home, happy enough to have seen his cr- best friend.

So, they went to school together again the morning after, though, there was not any talking. They were silent, both heavy in their thoughts. Ignorant to both of them, they liked the company despite the silence.

When they arrived at school, they both felt the heavy stare of those they passed by. The murmurs Donghae heard started again, the pointing too. By the time they went into class, Hyukjae had a good idea what the talking was about. It could not be the kiss, so definitely the result. He had thought about it at home, knowing some students would come to the conclusion that Donghae did purposely get a lower mark for him after what their Math teacher had said.

Hyukjae felt Donghae’s eyes on him when they had sat. Not looking at him, Hyukjae shrugged, a clear gesture to say just let it be. By the corner of his eye, he saw Donghae nodded.

Recess came and before they could go to the canteen together, Donghae was stopped by Sungjae who came to him and said Vice President wanted to see him. Donghae sighed, not wanting to leave Hyukjae, but then the blonde boy tapped his shoulder and gave him a brief smile before heading toward the opposite way. Donghae reluctantly followed Sungjae.

Hyukjae had his favourite strawberry cream bread with him when he moved to the field, sitting on one of the benches scattered around the school. He was not keen on sitting in the canteen where everyone was still buzzing about the result.

“Yah. Look who it is, the guy who up to Donghae and got him to give the first place on a silver platter.”

Hyukjae looked up and saw the two boys he had met in the toilet last week coming toward him. He got up to leave but was shoved back down by Heejun – Hyukjae saw his name tag as he was forced to sit down – the one who had spoken.

“Why are you such in a hurry?”

“To find Donghae, of course,” the other boy – Jihyun – said, smirking. That smirk looks hideous on him, but not on Hae…

“Yah, just because you are rich, does not mean you can buy your way through, you get that?” Heejun said, “You hear me?” he grew frustrated and started shoving Hyukjae’s head down.

Jihyun moved to other side of Hyukjae, he placed his hand on the back of the blonde’s head, shoving his head gently a few times, forcing him to nod, “Yes, I get it.”

Hyukjae shoved his hand away harshly.

“Oh, feisty,” the two of them laughed.

“Yah,” Heejun grabbed Hyukjae’s jaw and turned it toward his face while Jihyun grabbed the bread in his hand, “Riding that bike of yours, showing off, but then stupid. You can’t even beat Donghae fairly.”

Hyukjae grabbed Heejun’s hand, trying to pry his hand off him, “Let go.”

Heejun did, smirking, “Sure. Just stop pretending to be so good,” he paused between each word, shoving Hyukjae’s head with his index finger, and with each word, he shoved harder.

Hyukjae could feel his neck hurting. Suddenly, he felt a hand placed on the other side of his head and a blur of blue blazer in front of his eyes before it was gone. He looked up and saw Donghae had Heejun’s collar fisted in his hand, Jihyun was already shoved to the ground. Despite being shorter than Heejun, Donghae looked intimidating with rage in his eyes and a sneer on his lips.

Donghae shoved Heejun’s chest hard before he let go of his collar, letting the boy stumbled back, “Let’s not look for a fight, shall we?”

Heejun glared at Donghae and balled his hand, but did not come any closer to either Donghae or Hyukjae, “I wasn’t, I just said the truth, and just giving him a reminder.”

“Well, need I remind you what I can do to you, and trust me, if you let me, you will never be offended when anyone merely shoves you,” Donghae threatened him.

Heejun snorted, “Oh please, teachers’ pet. I’m not afraid of you just because you have the authority to write down my disobedience towards the school rules.”

“Who said anything about using my authority? I was talking more about –”

“Enough. Just go and stop meddling in things that needs no concern from you,” Hyukjae cut Donghae off, standing up.

“Whatever, up. Come on, Jihyun.”

Jihyun stood and once again smirked, throwing the bread at Hyukjae. Donghae caught the bread mid-air and wanted to hurl it back at him as he ran to follow Heejun but Hyukjae stopped him, taking his hand.

“No, that’s mine.”

“I’ll get you another one.”

Hyukjae hold the hand more firmly, “No. You need to stop ‘saving’ me like this. First you ‘saved’ me from getting second place, and now this. Well, unless you want everyone to know,” Hyukjae sat down again. He put the bread beside him, not really having an appetite to consume anything.

 “Know what?” Donghae asked, taking a seat as well.

Hyukjae sighed, “About you… liking… you know.”

“Oh. But I still don’t get why I need to stop. They were harassing you. No want should let that happen.”

“Still, Donghae. Too obvious, I’d say.”

Donghae smirked, “Never obvious to you before, Hyukkie.”

Hyukjae gritted his teeth, feeling himself getting hotter, “Before, now I see it.”

“Then?” Donghae, asked sounding hopeful.

Hyukjae contemplated things for a while. If he was to be honest, he did not know what he was feeling about anything. Was he mad at Donghae? Was he not? Should he? Was it anger that he felt all those times he was thinking since Donghae had kissed him?  Did he mind the kiss?

Actually, he had never felt anything wrong about the kiss. It was the confession that he kept pondering on, not the actual kiss, albeit he kept feeling the present of another lips upon his own. It was the confession that triggered his confusion. He was not familiar with any of this. This was not his territory. These feelings, these thoughts; they were hard, rough and… extraordinary. He did not know what he was feeling, what did his thoughts mean, did he want to know and understand them?

But only one question was important at the moment; do I love him?

Hyukjae sighed I’ve been doing that a lot because of this, “Fine. But I am bad at being a friend, so don’t expect me to be good at being something more. You need to do a lot of explanation, especially all these feelings I don’t understand.”

Donghae chuckled, “Well, no worries. I –” he cut himself off, only then fully registering what Hyukjae had said. He gaped and his eyes were wide. Then, he chuckled again, throwing his arms around his Hyukkie, “Okay. Okay, I’ll explain it all.”

Hyukjae hugged him back, trying to enjoy it while at the same time looked out for any student who might see them. He smiled, although his smile might be filled with happiness and wariness.

Well, after a year and 2 days, hi!!! I actually didn't plan on updating after a year or anything, I did not purposely let it happen but I just randomly opened this site after a few months and I checked this story out and it said I updated this exactly a year ago. So, after two days, I decided, okay I would give it a go and try to write a chapter. So here it is! It has been a while since I last write anything besides than for school so I hope my writing is still okay. Not sure if my writing style has change slightly or not but I hope you still like my story. I'm not sure if anyone is still reading this story and want me to continue. I hope yes but I won't blame you if no. And I am sorry for leaving you all for so long. Especially with such an evil cliffhanger xD. This chapter is longer than any chapter I have written, don't know if that's good or not. I missed you guys. If you are an old subscriber who came back to read, thank you. If you are a new reader to the story, welcome and thanks for giving the story a try. Well, that's all. I talk too much. Love and hugs from me. 

By the way, if there is any error, please tell me. If there is any non-clear things or confusion or if it seems like it missing some bits, do tell me so I can fix it. I like to learn from mistake. Your comment makes me feel loved! Love cookies for all of you <3