Not even he himself knew why it made him so uneasy. Why does Sungmin and Kyuhyun’s closeness (which was nothing, but a little more than everybody’s) made him feel like that?

Donghae clenched his jaw a little, before averting his gaze to his plate, and forgetting that.

He started to shove food in his mouth, at the same time Eunhyuk startled him with a question.

-“What are you watching the newbie for?” Donghae choked with his food a little, and HyukJae saw him with intrigue while he coughed his food out of his system. HyukJae wasn’t stupid; something about the newbie had got Donghae’s attention “What is it, Donghae?” He remarked.

-“I-I, What do you mean? I’m just sitting here, trying to ingest my daily nutriments!” Donghae shot his friend, and this just chuckled, but still, Donghae seemed a little lost.

After examining Donghae’s pouts while eating, Eunhyuk transferred his gaze slowly through the table, above hands grabbing food, plates, forks and chopsticks, to some peculiar bony red hands, which were holding a pair of chopsticks and a glass full of milk. His eyes followed the wrists; they reached a long pale neck, and continued to travel until they stopped at some huge lips that were not so unfamiliar this time. Kyuhyun was so pale and beautiful, Eunhyuk noticed his face was acne-scarred on the cheeks and under his right eye, there was a tiny beautiful mole, almost undetectable. His eye pupils were sort of huge, and black and pretty; and that pair of eyes were a little closer together than normal ones. What’s so scheming about that guy? He thought before turning to face Donghae, who was not looking at him, but at his new Intrigue.

Yesung, Shindong and Leeteuk, were unbelievingly watching Kangin, as if they didn’t buy that lie, they knew Kangin better that Kyuhyun did. He obviously was very satisfied about his acceptance from Kangin, because he didn’t know him as Leeteuk, and the others. Even though, he must like the newbie albeit a little, because he was not of those who easily exchanges smiles and caring words with some new donsaeng in his life, and on top, a Maknae.

Leeteuk really thought he was acting; Kangin had done it before, when he was mad at Ryeowook, but still treated him as if he was his precious little brother. Ryeowook later realized his real feelings. So Leeteuk, after this incident, is very careful with his donsaeng.

Leeteuk himself was trying so bad not to make it obvious that he doesn’t exactly Likes the newbie. The manager told him that he had to be even with the member’s treatment. He left it very clear “NO FAVORITISM”, and to be honest, he was struggling, because Who is comfortable with a stranger invading your comrade privacy?

At times he thought that he would cry if he was in Kyuhyun’s position and everybody treated him badly. But seeing Kyuhyun as he is, there wasn’t anything to worry about, was it?

Leeteuk sighed, trying to brush off his endless thoughts (which were even more than his talk) and focus in the chores he was developing at the moment.

“Eunhyuk, can you please help Shindong with the table?” He stated, his eyes still in what he was doing but his hand waving in Eunhyuk’s direction.

After a pout, the rapper did what he was told. Shindong was already doing it, so he just joined slowly. The crockery was old and a little cracked on the edges, which were hardly round now. The table was very beautiful and big, but apparently not enough to harbor 13 guys. There was still missing a chair: Kyuhyun’s chair.

Everybody was spreading around the house, and it was so obvious who everyone got along with the best. Siwon was telling something to Heechul, who was sprawled on the couch, his legs on Kibum’s lap, who was listening to them with a printed smile on his pretty face. Eunhyuk was sort of finishing the cleaning, and Donghae, was waiting for him, just standing there but talking to him. Shindong had gone to his room (maybe to eat some potato chips). Hangeng was taking a shower, but he was very close with Heechul. Sungmin went with Shindong to his room, those 2 were very close. Leeteuk was around everybody, a little time with everyone. Yesung was on his phone; he was laughing so he probably was checking up his account on twitter. Ryeowook was entering Shindong’s room because Sungmin was there, and they chat soooo well together, as Leeteuk had said before. Kangin was already asleep (on the couch though) and there was definitely no place for him to link up.

Nope.

Sungmin and Shindong were so close and they chatted about private things, since they were very good friends. Ryeowook acted a little shy when he was around. Kangin left more than clear that the maknae’s presence was not exactly pleasant for him. Leeteuk was always smiling falsely at him and trying to have everything under his control. Yesung was nice, but weird and a little quiet, always him and his phone, although he joked a lot to make the members laugh.

He sighed, giving up to the thought of getting along, or even win somebody’s trust so he could make 1 friend. Only 1. Just not to be alone all the time, It was so hurtful to be alone in a house full of people.

13 people laughing, greeting him, calling his name when needed, but completely alone, nobody to talk his worries to, nobody to pat his back and smile genuinely at him, nobody to call him ‘Kyu’ and make him laugh. Just, nobody to intimately relate. Like in a serious Friendship. Was he expecting too much? Was he the one too ambitious? Maybe, but what’s the bad thing about it? What is it, If I’m the only one that doesn’t have a friend to talk to! I’m the only one sitting in the middle of the lounge like an idiot fiddling with his freaking fingers because they’re all talking but no one dares TO HAVE A WORD TO ME?!?! . His mind was screaming helplessly as tiny little drops of salty tears gathered in the corner of his big, black eyes. For a second, he turned his head to confirm that no one heard his internal screaming. It was obvious, but it sounded so real, like he was truly screaming that, it was a possibility that they heard. Apparently not. Yesung still chuckling at his phone, soft voices coming from Shindong’s room, Leeteuk whispering to Donghae. What a relief! But, what to do when people don’t notice you and you don’t even have a room to go lock yourself to? This seemed so unfair.

Kyuhyun shut his eyes, not realizing warm drops were slipping down his rosy cheeks. Nobody seemed to notice the silently crying Kyuhyun, even when he was just in the middle of the room. 

                                                                        ****