The alarm keeps on shouting throughout the room. I hear that. It keeps nudging my sense to wake up. No I don’t want to leave my bed. I dont know why but today is especially warm and comfortable. It's new for me but nice to stay like this always. I like it. It feels like I won’t get any bad dreams. I want to stay here.

The clock doesn’t give up and keep on ringing. I know I have to leave the bed if I don’t want to be late to office, but I don’t want to leave this rare feeling. I never feel like this and I hope it doesn’t disappear from my reach. When I sense it getting away, I move to catch it again. It stops for a while before moving away again.

"Changmin.."

The same voice that soothing me last night.

"We need to get up now."

Wait, Junsu?! I quickly open my eyes and look what happen. I see a blue color and buttons on my view. I grip on some shirt and rest my head on a chest like shape. No, it is chest.

"Changmin?"

And it's Junsu. I immediately loosen my grip and move away. No way. He slept here? Isn’t he sleeping at the sofa last night? And I was clinging to him like that? What happened? I can’t remember clearly what actually happen.

"Sorry, don’t panic. I didn’t do anything."

No no. What happen?! Why Junsu can be here? How he could sleep here?

"You were shaking again last night. I heard you speak something from outside and get worried, looks like you were hurting." He explains. "Sorry, I was just getting in without permission."

I don’t know what to say. Again for I don’t know for how many times I can’t answer him. It's not that I hate or dislike it. He helped me from my bad dreams. He was just worried. He didn’t do anything wrong but I don’t know what to say. Maybe he realizes that I won’t say anything to him, he speaks again.

"L-lets go. We'll be late."

It's awkward. Since that time, I always feel this restless beside him. It feels like I’m too aware of Junsu but he still treats me like usual. I speak less and less to him, mostly because I feel I can’t speak when I was with him. I always lost my words and end up in silence. And as always, he ignores it. He keeps coming to me and speaks to me like nothing really happen. The same routines happen until one new employee come to our office.

“This is Jaejoong. He’ll take charge as the auditor and verifies every data monthly from now on.”

Junsu introduce the new person. He’s a beauty. Everyone gasp on how can be someone to looks that beautiful and looks like his personality is also likeable. In no time all people know him, everyone wants to speak to him, they scramble with each other to pick a line or two with this newly found beauty. And my old habit never changes. I don’t take any interest with that. I keep my old pace like nothing really happen. I’m still drawing this line clearly for everybody, it’s just Junsu. He’s different. I don’t know whether he’s special or not, but he is different from anybody. He’s the first one that I ever let to cross that line. Or more precisely he always steps closer to me. He’s pushing me to open up to him and I let him in. I never know he would be the one that make me slowly forgetting the old memories. And stupid me, even though I know he’s the one that already so kind to me, I still ignore him.

I need to change myself. I want to change for him. He doesn’t deserve my bad attitude. He sacrifices so much for me yet I can’t give some nice return for his kindness. Junsu is way too precious for a bad treatments. I will change, for him.

I initiate this for the first time. I don’t whether he will like it or not. I’m afraid he will freak out or maybe reject me. I don’t know because I never did this. I want to ask him for a lunch. Just like his usual invitation every day. I brace myself to ask him. Come on Changmin, you said you want to change for him. You want to return his kindness. This is the time you can start it. I walk to his office room and I want to knock it when suddenly I heard someone speak to him. I listen to it carefully, maybe he’s busy. And finally I realize it is Jaejoong.

“Don’t you think you wasted your time too much Su?”

“Stop it. It’s my decision.”