My apartment had never been so quiet before. Even though there are two people standing within its walls, no sound was made for awhile. I felt as if I was sitting in a mass of clouded confusion and loss of words. Sehun was just looking at me waiting for a response, but my mind couldn’t process any sentences or words I could put together. As if my ex-boyfriends surprise visit didn’t throw me off my track enough, now Sehun is spitting words that I can only hope are true. He’s barely been thinking on his own for a few months. There is no way he can understand what saying I love you means.

“Sehun you can’t just say that,” I said sighing. “Being in love is a lot more than you think it is.”

                I figured he wouldn’t argue back at me, but I knew he’d be displeased with the first sentence I thought to make. It’s not that my heart doesn’t beat for Sehun, because for the past few months all I’ve wanted is to call him mine. I just figured there was a better way to explain what love really is through my thoughts and emotions. As far as he knows, he must only have a crush on me, if I’m even that lucky.

“I know what love is Luhan. There are two kinds of love,” he spoke walking up to me. “The way I loved my parents and Baekhyun, that’s a love you feel for family. Wanting to kiss someone or hold them tight before you go to sleep, that kind of love is what I feel for you. Don’t tell me I don’t understand what it means because I do.”

                For the first time since we’ve met, in this moment, I felt smaller than Sehun. He took control of the situation without even trying, and his body language demanded all the attention. My mouth was sealed shut as he moved closer to me grabbing me into a fierce hug. I could reach a little bit above his shoulders with my height, but Sehun was taller and possibly even stronger than me. This is exactly what I’ve been wanting for almost a year, but just because this confession isn’t happening the way I planned doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be happy.

                I blocked out all the disappointment I felt because of the lack of dominance and wrapped my arms around Sehun. His hug only grew stronger until he pulled his head back to look down at me. He had a smile on that was so big it forced his eyes to wrinkle up at the sides. For the first time in my life, I liked letting someone else take control of the situation. I’m used to being so big and strong that I tell people what to do and when to do it. That’s how I’ve always been.

                My relationship with Minseok was no different from how I usually am. Despite that fact that his strength was far more impressive then mine, I made all the rules. He did whatever I said for him to do, until the day we broke up. We were apart of the same gang that I used to live my life for. No one knew we were dating, and that’s how we preferred to keep it. I was pretty sure that we would been together forever because I had never loved someone as much as I loved Minseok. He may have been listening to me, but I was doing everything to better his life.

                He grew up in an abusive home where beatings and became the norm for him. We met when we were thirteen years old, and no sooner than we met were we dating. There was an instant connection between us that neither of us ever spoke about. I think one of the main things we bonded over were our terrible homes. The gang we were in ended up being the reason why we broke up. I left those thugs and murderers when I was seventeen, and fled from the home they knew I was in. The only person who knew where I had moved to was Minseok. He moved in with me for four years before I ended up kicking him out the home I am still currently living in. Minseok never left that gang, and I didn’t want my life to end up spiraling out of control again.

                Not only that, but I didn’t want his thug friends to put the children I began to teach in danger. The decision took me months to make, but when I did it, rather than feeling great loss, I felt relief. He was my last tie to my old life, and that tie was cut loose. I’m glad we are over because my students are safe, which in turn means Sehun is safe. Though there are times that I think, what if? What if we had stayed together or he changed his life around for me?

“I want us to be together Luhan.”

“What do you mean,” I asked worrying about if he was speaking correctly.

“Like the way Baekhyun and Chanyeol are. Wait, horrible example. I want us to be…,” he paused trying to think of the word. “We should be dating. Like boyfriends.”

                I laughed seeing him so deep in thought over what we should be. His brain was searching for unfamiliar words he knew about, just never spoke. My face was blushing and I could feel the warmth of my cheeks. Sehun was literally in control and wouldn’t allow it to be any other way. I may be his teacher in the class room, but it looks like outside of that school, the rules will be made by the student.

“Of course I’ll be your boyfriend Sehun.”

                His hands gently grabbed the back of my head, and he pulled me close until our noses touched. I stiffened with nerves seeing his sly smile and a wink before our lips touched. We melted into a kiss that lasted for some time. Finally, the worry that Baekhyun or Chanyeol would take Sehun away from me was gone. I had won something my heart desired for longest time. Sehun was finally mine.

“I’d like that. We should be boyfriends.”

“Good,” he smirked. “I wasn’t going to take no for an answer anyways.

                He kissed me again before I could even voice a response. This time, he let his tongue slip into my mouth to explore what was past my lips. Sehun’s hands squeezed tight around my waist as he pressed my body up against the wall behind me. I tried to find somewhere to hold him back, but our bodies were so close together, all I could do was squeeze the fabric of his shirt lying on his back. His eyes opened and flickered over to my couch a couple feet away in the middle of our kiss. Sehun was a lot stronger than he looks, because he lifted me up and brought us over to that very couch in the middle of the kiss. For the rest of that night, we laid on the couch talking and kissing for hours.

○○○○○○

                When morning time came, Luhan got up to get ready for his school day. I continued to lay on the couch and watch, really just being too lazy to get up and get ready myself. My phone rang to see Baekhyun’s name pop up on its screen. It’s been awhile since we’ve spoke for more than two seconds, and the last time we did say anything to each other, he said that he wasn’t in love with me. For me it wasn’t an awkward situation, but maybe it should have been. I had never looked at our friendship as being a one sided love, but it very could be that. The worst part of it all is that Chanyeol would cheat on Baekhyun so fast with me. I don’t want to be the person who ruins what they’ve had for all these years.

“Hello?”

“Hi Sehun,” Baekhyun spoke into the phone. “How are things back in Seoul? We never got to talk yesterday.”

“Oh yeah, I’m sorry about that. They’re going really great actually. I have a boyfriend now!”

                It took awhile for him to respond to that. There were no words that came to his mouth quick enough. Instead I decided to switch the topic to his trip that he was currently on. We spoke about that for awhile before I ended up hanging up because I really did need to get ready for my day. His voice seemed disappointed for the rest of the conversation, but I don’t understand why. If he didn’t love me like that, then why would he be upset over me and Luhan dating?

                Rather than going to school, I decided to go job hunting. Luhan made a suggestion to me that I look for jobs that I will like and can grow with as I get older. My first thought was to do what my best friend does, which is make coffee. There is a really nice coffee shop down a few blocks from where I live, so that’s the place I decided to check out first. When I walked in, a delicious aroma of coffee and warm pastries graced my nose. I ordered some tea and a muffin to sit down and observe the environment.  The young woman at the counter said the chef will begin to cook the muffin immediately since they just ran out of them. I took my warm tea and sat by the window watching the people outside walk to whatever destination they chose. After a couple of minutes, the sound of a glass plate meeting with the wooden table I sat at clanked through the air. A cold sensation slipped under my shirt and up against my back. It felt like a cold piece of sharp metal against my spine. I turned to look at what it could be.

                What I saw was the handsome face of the man who I caught in Luhan’s apartment last night. His face was nothing but a gentle smile, but I knew he wasn’t happy. He leaned down next to me with his hand still under the back of my shirt. It looked as if he was just being sincere from a distance, but if people were close enough, they could see this man wasn’t being nice at all.

“I remember you from last night,” he spoke softly. “Don’t think that I won’t get Luhan back, because I will. Feel this knife on your back?”

“..Yes,” I replied stiffening my spine.

“I can make this go right through you. Try and stop me from being with him, and you will know what real pain is like.”

“You can try all you want, but Luhan is my boyfriend.”

                I got up and grabbed my muffin off the plate, leaving before the man had anything else to say. My mentality may not be caught up as much as it should be, but I know that no one is taking my Luhan. Whoever this man thinks he is, he can’t threaten me with knives and scare me off. If it’s a fight he wants, then it’s a fight he’ll get.