Seven Months Later

                Today was supposed to be an average day, going to school with Luhan, and then probably going out looking for a job. He says that my mind is caught up enough to maintain a fairly simple job, so I’m looking to become a barista like my best friend Baekhyun. Even though I still have my moments where it’s evident my mind isn’t like other teenagers, I can still blend in and act like nothing has ever happened to me. No one should know about my past because I hate hearing the blank apologies and thousands of questions.

                The only person who I think realizes that I’m almost normal is Luhan. He treats me like an adult and expects me to do things that others don’t. He doesn’t try and keep any secrets from me because he knows I’d find out anyways. In fact, Luhan is changing me in more ways than he knows. Sure he is the reason I can be the average person I want to be, but it’s my heart that I can feel changing. Whenever I’m around him, the butterflies swarm in my stomach and my heart beats fast. That’s definitely not admiration I’m feeling. I know exactly what I’m feeling because I’ve felt this before only one hundred times stronger…

                These butterflies and heart races are exactly what Baekhyun told me he felt for me. Apparently when we were younger, Baekhyun was in love with me. He confessed this to me not long ago when he and I went out for dessert about a week ago. Whenever I was around him back in our hometown, he wanted to do nothing but hold me and protect me, which is why my accident nearly crushed his heart completely. I never looked at the way Baek treated me as love, but maybe just concern. His heart now belongs to only Chanyeol he says. I can remember his words to be something like “I can’t pursue old love anymore because I’m getting married to Chanyeol in a few months. Let’s leave our love in the past.”

                I agreed because I definitely don’t want to stop Chanyeol and Baekhyun’s wedding. Even though I’ve never loved Baekhyun in the way he loved me, I had to go along with what he said. Baekkie will always be my best friend though. Best friends keep all their secrets safe with each other. And between Baekhyun and Chanyeol, I have a lot of secrets. Neither of them know that I still talk and hang out with them ever since my release at the hospital. In the afternoon, I am with Baekhyun, well not as much anymore. At night, Chanyeol visits me and tells me to never say anything to Luhan or Baekhyun. It’s annoying to have all these secrets. This can’t be right.

                Since Baekhyun is away for a few days visiting family, Chanyeol asked me to come over in secrecy for a sleepover. I managed to go without Luhan asking where I was staying or why. Guess he really does believe in me being my own adult. Currently, Chanyeol was making popcorn for our movie night that was about to ensue. I still felt awful knowing that Baekhyun was not at all aware of how close Chanyeol and I are.

“Alright the popcorn is now popped to perfection,” Chanyeol smiled sitting next to me.

“Good I’m hungry. What are we going to watch?”

“Why don’t you pick something?”

                I took the remote control out of his hand and picked a movie that had the most interesting cover. The name of the movie escapes me, but it had something to do with a barber shop owner that kept cutting the throats of his helpless victims. Despite how old I am, that kind of movie still bothered me and I hid into Chanyeol’s over sized sweatshirt whenever I got to scared. He wrapped his arms around me the whole time as we watched the bloody movie. I liked being protected by him when I felt completely terrified.

                About a half hour into it, Chanyeol leaned down resting our heads against each others. I snuggled a little closer until he gently pushed me back onto the couch. I could feel the warm cushions greet my back as he hovered himself over me. Our chests were almost touching, but our noses had already pressed together. His cool breath brushed against my lips until Chanyeol leaned in kissing me softly. My first reaction was to widen my eyes and stare at my hyung who didn’t even open his eyes one bit to look at me. I don’t know why, but I closed my own and kissed him back.

                His lips were strong against mine and he pried open my mouth to let his tongue slip past my lips. It was like our tongues were pressing against each other, trying to figure out who moved where. Our kiss went on for a very long time, so long that when Chanyeol pulled away he was a bit out of breath.

“Chanyeol what are you-“

                The words I spoke didn’t even have a chance to get my past my lips before he dove in for another magnetic kiss. To me kissing didn’t seem wrong. Nothing had clicked into my head that what we were doing was wrong until I felt his hands slip under my sweatshirt. His fingers pinched parts of my skin and rubbed across my stomach that I had been trying to work on at the gym. My hands began to shake out of pure nerves once his hand pushed past the elastic waist band of my pajamas. In all the months we’ve known each other, I never realized how big Chanyeol’s hands were until they began to rub against something I’ve known to be private. Whatever was happening was wrong. I knew it because the only people I was thinking about in this moment were Luhan and Baekhyun.

“I have to go,” I said jumping up and grabbing my bag.

“Sehun, just stay. I’m sorry I got carried away.”

“No Chanyeol! You’ve been getting carried away for months now! You can’t be in love with me. I’m not a child anymore so I can see that you’re in love with me. It’s not fair to me! You’re getting married to Baekhyun in a few months! Get your together!”

                I ran out the room with the taste of frustration and the sting of a swear word all over my tongue. I didn’t get to say half of what I wanted to, but in the moment of pure anger, the opportunity for words is small. If Baekhyun was able to push past love from years ago for Chanyeol, then Yeol needs to do the same for his fiancé. Although Baekhyun was a reason for my running out of the situation, Luhan was the biggest part. The only person allowed to kiss me like that is Luhan, because I can like him without it ruining a marriage.

                My only mission now was to get back to Luhan and explain to him my true feelings. I’ve been trying to understand what I’ve been feeling for him, because I still haven’t experienced everything most teenagers my age have. Like being in love with someone who can love you right back without any problem. Love makes people do crazy things, and I’m afraid to see what I’ll have to do for Luhan. While I was running back home, my phone rang in my pocket. It had to be Chanyeol, but I checked in case to see if someone else could be calling me. It was my best friend. The last person I wanted to talk to right now.

“Hi Sehun,” Baekhyun spoke into the phone. “How are you?”

“I-I’m okay. Just going for a run, so I need to call you back later. Bye Baekkie.”

                I hung up with tears in my eyes and sadness wrapping around me. I felt awful knowing that Chanyeol and I have betrayed Baekhyun’s trust. He would never forgive me if he found out what we had just done. Before I knew it, Helping Hands was right in front of my face and my apartment door was locked tight. I unlocked the door quickly and ran to Luhan’s apartment rather than my own. He had given me a spare key just a few months ago, and I unlocked it without even knocking first. I pushed the wooden frame open so hard it smashed against the wall behind it. What I saw clearly shocked me and the guests in the room.

                Luhan was pressed up against a wall with his shirt halfway off his body and his arms locked tight in the grip of another man who kissed him violently. The man was a little shorter than my hyung, but not by too much. He seemed to really want to kiss Luhan despite hyung saying no and pushing him away. I’ve never seen him look so weak before.

“Get off him,” I yelled throwing a notepad at the man.

                The man turned and looked at me with sharp eyes. He had a handsome face, but very large and almost adorable cheeks. If it weren’t for his death gaze and frustration written on his face, I would have thought he was cute. He let go of Luhan, slamming hyung’s arms into the wall and pulling down the shirt roughly.

“Minseok,” Luhan said to the man. “You really need to leave now.”

                Minseok stared at Luhan one last time before fixing his gaze on me and locking in eye contact. He wouldn’t look at anything else but me as he walked out the apartment slowly. Something about the way he walked scared me, like he had unknown strength or power that could easily knock me down. Thankfully, all he did was slam his shoulder against my own before shutting the door behind him. Luhan leaned against the wall with his hands rubbing the sides of head before smiling at me.

“Thank you Sehun,” he smiled walking over to me. “He and I have a past that I have forgotten about, or am trying to forget about, but clearly he hasn’t.”

“Hyung don’t you ever kiss him again.”

“Don’t be angry. I didn’t mean for that to happen. It’s just-“

“I think I love you Luhan.”

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Happy Easter <3 Thank you all so much for reading this far! I'm sorry I just turned this love square into a love trapezoid with Xiuhan in the mix x.x I love reading the comments so please, keep posting :3