So, we can safely say that my mother can babysit. Sit on babies, that is.  But as we know, she used to babysit uncle Jungkook back in the day when he was, well... when he was a baby. So now, I bet you're assuming that she's good at handling kid, yes?

Let me tell you in short.

She's not.

She's horrible.

Apparently I almost died as a baby because she thought that I looked like a potato.

But okay, I'm raking into my memory and into my mum's diary  of a day when she had met children. Children are cute. But mum thought differently at times.

---

Sora nudged Soo Jin hard as she fixed her hair in a hurry. "Soo Jin, do you not care?" she breathed out, shoving various items into her bag. "Don't you notice that we're like, always in a hurry? This is your auntie's baby shower, not mine. You should be the one rushing around like a headless peacock, but here you are, still snoozing like a rhino!"

Soo Jin yawned and rubbed her eyes. "Geez, Sora. What's with all the metaphors today? And I thought the common saying goes as running around like a 'headless chicken', not a 'headless peacock'."

"Hush, you. Peacocks are more fabulous."

"Have we got the presents ready?" Soo Jin yawned for the hundredth time that morning. "You got uncle Jonghyun and the maids to get it wrapped up, didn't you?"

"Who's uncle Jonghyun?"

Soo Jin stared at her, slightly parting to show her surprise. "Don't kid around, Sora. Don't you know uncle Jonghyun?"

Her best friend blinked at her for a while, and it was obvious that Sora had no slightest bit of a clue as to who she was talking about.

Soo Jin cleared . "VROOOM VROOOM. Come on, kids, get yer stinkin buttocks inside ye car or ye gonna be late."

Sora blinked at her even more, not knowing what she was trying to do with her lame impersonation. "He sounds like... an Australian pirate," she said slowly to Soo Jin.

Soo Jin sighed, a bit irritated with her best friend for not knowing the slightest bit as to who she was reffering to. After all, she was proud of her impersonation. "Sora, he's our family butler, our family driver-- our family everything! He's like a BFF to our family."

Sora looked at her flatly. "Ouch, Jin. I was actually never your first all along. Ouch."

Her best friend chuckled as she waved it away. "Whatever Sora. Now, where are the presents for that baby girl brat. I've got all of them wrapped up in pretty pink casings and ." She looked on at herself triumphantly. "Who said I didn't care?"

Sora deadpanned at her squishy friend. "JIN."

"Whaaat-- woah, you look like you've seen a ghost."

"That baby... is not a ing girl."

"Oh ... baby elephant...?"

By now, Sora had every excuse to hit her on top of the head. And she did just so. "You were there. Inside the goddamned hospital when that damn baby was born! How could you forget? It's a boy!"

---

Soo Jin and Sora stood in front of the gates, both feeling pretty stupid at this point. Sora sighed and shook her head as she pressed the doorbell. "Great. Just great. All of the presents there are gonna be wrapped in pretty baby blue wrappings, while ours? Shop last minute and put them in a microwave and a rice cooker." She let out her umpteenth sigh. "We are ing legend."

"Weirdness is our staple," Soo Jin commented, her eyes wider than they normally were and her lips pressed into a thin, straight line. She had her arms wrapped around a rice cooker, and she lifted the top to make sure that the baby toys and clothes that they got just a few minutes ago were still alive and intact and not cooking. "You can't go wrong with rice cookers, man. We're asian. These are necessary life supplies."

"Well, microwaves aren't too bad either, so I guess this'll have to do," she let out another heavy breath as they neared the gates to a particular mansion. Sora's eyes were suddenly blinded by the orange-ness of the mansion. There were different shades of orange spattered all over the place. 50 shades of orange, . "Geez, the Shin family must really like the colour orange. It reminds me of your place Jin, except... crazier."

"Yes, and we also like abstract. So no matter how stupid it is, or how ugly it looks, you'll always hear the same ol' excuse: 'Dude, it's abstract.'"

Sora and Soo Jin laughed, lightening the atmosphere around them. They had their microwave and rice cooker in hand as they opened the door. At that instant, their eyes, instead of being blinded by orange, was now being flooded by pink.

Wait.

...Pink?

Soo Jin's eye twitched visibly as she stood right next to her friend. Her jaw clenched slghtly as she took a deep breath through the nose. "I am not. Even. Going to say. I told you so," Soo Jin gritted under her teeth. "But. Didn't I tell you? Oh almighty Sora, you said that this was supposed to be a boy's baby shower, did you not?"

Sora gulped and nervously raised a brow. "Haha, um. Yeah. I get it Jin. It must've been a baby elephant after all. And um... I think it was my aunty that gave birth to a boy." Her best friend merely sighed, knowing that doing anything else would not help the situation in the slightest bit. They stepped in the house anyway, because they totally had this coming for them. They just had a good size of bad luck on their side. No biggie. Besides, people had already started staring since they opened the door-- not exactly staring at them but you know, their rice cooker, microwave and Soo Jin's stomach.

"Oh, my goodness, she looks just like her mother!" A woman exclaimed quite louldy from a distance.

Soo Jin let out a hearty snort and shook her head almost immediately after overhearing that sentence. "Oh my goodness Sora, did you hear that?"

"Huh? Hear what?" she asked, distracted.

"They just said the baby looked like her mum."

Sora squinted her eyes and craned her neck over to try to catch a glimpse at the infamous newborn baby. Surrounded by all of its doting older relatives, one can only imagine how petrified the small thing might be. "I can't see it too well, Jin." She frowned a bit before looking back at her best friend. "But yeah, I guess, I mean, that's her kid, after all."

Soo Jin let out an even bigger snort and turn to look at her friend in disbelief. "It's only been alive for like, what, five hours? It looks like a mothering freshly peeled potato if you ask me."

Sora choked back a laugh and narrowed her eyes at Soo Jin. "Technically, sevety-eight hours. But yes, a potato--"

"SOO JIN!" A loud, high-pitched pterodactyl screech voice came from a distance, interrupting them in the middle of their conversation. The two turned their heads to see a very well-fit, toned lady coming towards them.

"Damn," Sora whispered to Soo Jin, leaning down due to her heels. "Wasn't she just pregnant?"

"I bet her baby's got a dent in its head from all the exercise she's been doing while she was pregnant," she snickered. "But." She rasied a hand. "I don't want to judge."

Sora deadpanned at her best friend. "... Oh my god Soo Jin. You are one hell of an oxymornic person."

Soo Jin forced a tight smile and set her rice cooker down on a conveniently nearby table to hug her auntie.

It was quite obvious that the whole thing was plastic though, because Soo Jin knew full well that she loathed her brother's daighter, yet all the same, she put on a good show for it.

"It's nice to see you here, Soo Jin!" she exclaimed, totally ignoring her friend as she wrapped her arms around her niece, whilst smiling a smile that looked so happy it couldn't have possibly been real. "You've certainly grown from the last time I saw you!"

The corners of Soo Jin's mouth was slowly turning downward by the second, and her eyes were slowly shrinking into slits as she stared at her auntie. "... You mean sideways, don't you?"

Her host seemed to look flustered for a fraction of a second before collecting herself with a smile. "I meant both ways," she retorted, and cleared , the slightest bit of disgust hanging off the tone of her voice.

Soo Jin took a deep breath in and nodded internally, knowing that almost all of her relatives were like this to her. They had absolutely abhorred the idea that someone of her size was even in the Shin family and most of them were ashamed that they were even related to her. But there was one problem.

They can't do about it.

Oh poo. No pun intended.

There are two reasons why, and please allow me to take your time in explaining each of them, for your entertainment.

The first is because of her father. Her father is the so-called 'breadwinner'(as they called it) of the Shin family, meaning that he was the one who had enough talent to pull the Shin family up to be able to afford such lavish lifestyles. Since she is her father's offspring, she inherited his brains and most people had to give her credit for the fact that she had talent as well.

The second reason was Soo Jin herself. If I haven't emphasized it enough, then let me put it to you in clear, simple English. My mother is a stubborn . At this point in life, she's reached that point where she's had enough of everybody. Just. Everybody. Humans in general. If humans don't like the way she is, well, she can't do anything about that.

Except hope that they slip on a banana peel.

And perhaps die.

Sora and Soo Jin set the microwave and the rice cooker down, next to the other pretty pink-wrapped presents for the baby. Her auntie opened the rice cooker, somewhat baffled by the fact that it was not even in a cardboard box nor was it wrapped. She frowned when she saw the colour blue.

"... I only have a daughter. You know that, don't you?" her thin, arched brows knitted together, showing clear disappointment in her niece.

"Yes auntie, I am aware. This is just for you if you plan to give birth to another son--" Sora elbowed her violently, getting creeped out and pissed off from the ignorance of her relative and the stares of the others in the room. Soo Jin cleared and swallowed her words. "I have your proper presents at home. I'll mail it instead."

Her auntie just stood there and nodded, while Soo Jin now sets her eyes on something that she had been searching for ever since she stepped foot in the house. In all honesty, when she stepped in, she could care less for the stares people-- most likely distant relatives who don't want anything to do with her-- gave her. She only had one thing in mind when it came to gatherings like this.

Food.

She set her sights on the afternoon tea trays, where there were little bite-sized, attractive looking chocolate muffins, and other sweet treats that just made water.

The three of them just stood there awkwardly, Sora being slapped in the middle. One was apparently waiting for her niece to leave, yet not wanting to be rude about it. She saw Soo Jin staring those cupcakes down. Even though this is a relative's house-- most likely owned by her father-- she knew her manners and knew that she had to be offered before assuming anything and eating the bloody thing.

Their host cleared , making her intent clear on driving the both out. She, too, knew her manners and knew that they had to leave instead of pushing them out of the front door.

Soo Jin also happened to clear , to point out her rudeness for not inviting them for tea.

"Uh, wow!" Soo Jin exclaimed in fake surprise. "Gee, those are some really nice lookin' cupcakes ya got there."

Her auntie sighed and shook her head.

"... I wonder what they taste like." Soo Jin stretched out her words, determined to win this indirect battle.

Her auntie had her eyes closed and was, by now, massaging her temples. "Go ahead and eat it all Soo Jin. Eat it all."

Soo Jin bounced off happily without another word, while Sora bowed a bit at her auntie. "Thanks a lot," she smiled.

---

The duo sat outside in a park bench, now eating an ice-cream right under the heat of the relaxing sun.

"I swear," Soo jin started, taking a huge bite from her ice cream, yet not getting a brain freeze, since my mother's tough like that. "Out of all the six brothers and sisters that dad has, not a single one of them likes me. Not a single one. They're all just a bunch of ing losers, leeching off of dad and the money out of him dry. Even dad doesn't like them."

"But wait, I thought your dad had seven siblings. And doesn't his sister, Hime, like you?" Sora asked, taking a small at her ice cream.

"She's not human. She's a freakin living doll. She's retarded."

"Ouch Jin, that's not nice."

"She called me skinny. Dude. She called me skinny. If that's not an indication that she's been on crack, I don't know what is."

Sora sighed at her best friend. She certainly had it tough. Her auntie was one of the reasons why she had been petrified of the 'pricess style' gyarus. Sora had once wanted to base a design off of their unique style, but Soo Jin freaked out so much that she had to cancel the whole thing out and put it in the trash altogether. "No matter, Jin," Sora patted her on the back. "Your ice cream's here for you."

Soo Jin played along and faked a sniffle. She looked at her ice cream appreciatively, before plunging the whole thing into . (On a sidenote, she still does this, by the way. And let me tell you. The fact that she gets no brain freeze is the most metal thing ever.)

She then looked at her best friend and noticed that she had only taken a few measly at the bloody thing.

Sora looked at her best friend and extended her ice cream. "You want it?"

Soo Jin gasped, although we all know that this is a conversation that they have all too well, all too much. And as always, Soo Jin just ravishes the ice cream once it leaves Sora's grasp. Sora just sits and watches, practically feeling her best friend gain the kilos.

"Ew, look at her. She already looks like a pig and she eats like one too," a voice somehow drifts toward them. It was a female's voice, yet slightly higher than a usual woman's. Her voice came out quite clear with the tone of disgust, and it somehow ringed a little bit louder in their ears than it did to those surrounding them.

It was a child's voice.

"Oppa, I don't want it anymore, throw it away," she spoke, the bratty tone hanging off her voice. The two didn't even have to look, they could already tell that this child was a rich, spoilt brat.

"Ja-In, this fu-fu-fu...n fun ice-cream was expensive, you better eat or else I'll--" the man stuttered, as if struggling to say the words coming out of his mouth.

"Oppa, it's Jane. Don't say it like it's Korean, it's so uncool. Anyway, that pig of a lady over there made me so sick I don't want an ice-cream anymore so throw it away."

Sora had her fists clenched. She knew that she shouldn't be eavesdropping on other people's coversations, but their voices rang quite loudly in their ears that she just couldn't help it. "Sora, don't," Soo Jin said firmly, looking her dead in the eyes before her fingers-- yes, her fingers-- clean, just to rub it in their faces.

"Hurry up and eat it, you motherf-f-father brat, before I... do," the man's voice resonated. It sounded like a raspy screech, as if he was somehow holding back from yelling...?

"I said, no oppa. I am not eating that filthy ice cream because I will become just as fat as her and my friends are all gonna laugh at me and call me a pig and I'll be just as disgusting as she is and daddy's gonna kick me out so, no," the child refused, once again.

"Okay that's quite enough, young lady--" Sora stood up and turned around, yet paused midway due to shock.

"Sora. Shut up and--" Soo Jin's jaw dropped, astounded. "," she breathed out.

A moment of silence seemed to pass the whole world, before Soo Jin burst out laughing. "So this is who she gets the bratty attitude from! No. ing. Wonder."

Her snorts further angered the man standing in front of them. His face was turning redder and redder by the second. Due to both embarrasment and anger.

"AND OH MY GOD--" Soo Jin wheezes out in between her fits of laughter. "THAT'S... THAT'S A... ING HELLO KITTY BAG!" She held onto Sora for support, who was also out of her head and unable to breathe from laughter.

"I swear, Soo Jin, I will ing slaughter you when I get the chance," he seethed. "I will give the most painful death ever." His hands gripped tightly on the Hello Kitty bag. "One, this is a Hello Kitty bag for men. Deluxe Edition. And two, you do not swear in front of my baby sister. I will get murdered for this."

"Ah, so the little she-devil is your sibling," Sora commented, wiping her eyes from tears of laughter.

"The y Mc genes run in the family."

---

"Something's missing." Imaginary puff of cigarette smoke.

"Yes. Something is."

"I don't know, it feels too... too quiet."

"I feel like someone should yell."

"J-Hope, make me a potato please."

"Do I look like a ing farm to you hyung?"

"Your face is potato."

"Shut up, V."

"I have potato blood in my veins."

"God, shut up, V."

"..."

"... I dream of potato."

A/N: ALAAAASSSSSS I HAVE UPDATED!!! OH MY GOD I AM SO SORRY I REALLY WANT TO RANT RIGHT NOW BUT THERE ARE TOO MANY WORDS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD AS TO HOW ING SORRY I AM BUT I JUST CAN'T TYPE THEM ALL AT ONCE I MEAN I AM SO ING SORRY LIKE WOW.

Ahem.

Anyways, guys, I apologize for taking this long. A few of you have given me a push as so as to update, update, update. It's nice to see them, because it really encourages me to keep on writing. It's exam season here in my area, don't know about you but I've been stressed as trying to revise and because I really regret mocking around in class like dear Lord, I have learned my lesson please spare my life.

Sorry about that.

BUT SPECIAL MENTION TO THESE WONDERFUL PEOPLE THAT TOOK THEIR TIME TO ACTUALLY MESSAGE ME AND MAKE ME FEEL ALL FUZZY AND WARM INSIDE:

mirrah_97

DreamOfAMirage

and romione_han

You guys are too cool.

Too cool.

On an additional note, I shall provide you reasons as to why I haven't updated much since the last time I updated, beside from school factors. Just so, ya know, in case you care :/ha

1.) I am really running low on motivation-- and it's not just on writing, it's also in... well, everything in general, really. There's just a bit too much pork in my plate and I don't like pork so okay I'll stop I don't know where I'm going with this. But if you can tell, I am, in fact, freewriting.

BECAUSE YOLO RIGHT???? That's not a good thing Nicole.

But on a more serious note, I seriously love it when you guys comment 'what if's'. It gives me so much more inspiration to roll everything together and make an idea out of thin air :D So just keep on commenting!

2.) Okay, I feel really bad about this one, because I feel bad about it. (Oh my god, the English is leaving me I need sleep.) I haven't been updating because... because manga. A few months ago, I started catching up with like, 50 or so chapters of Naruto, Bleach, SnK, Kurosuji, Pandora hearts, D.Gray Man and the likes so, my inner Otaku is sorta overriding my Kpop obsession at the moment and I don't know how to balance it out. (By the way, if any of you out there are major Otakus... *whispers* call me)

3.) ... I don't have any more excuses. I am just too ing lazy that when I get spare time, I just... don't do anything. I... eat. Ohmygod I'm being affected by Soo Jin DX haha

So that's about it for this goliath of an author's note, and I promise (Not very good with promises though) that I will try to update more in the future :D

For your entertainment, here's a clip of where I got the potato scene from, thanks to DreamOfAMirage:

OHMYGOD I COULDN'T BREATHE WHILE WATCHING THAT I JUST CANT XXDD