A/N

Hello everyone! I'm so glad this story is getting so much love considering it's still something new for me. 

I have another story in mind. Once I'm done with one of my on-going stories I'll probably start it, I'm wondering which pairing you'd like to see this time around though.  (something different since I have Krisyul, Yulhan, Yulhun, and Kaiyul already :P)

I'm also quite busy this summer, so updates can be a little bit impossible lately, although I try :P

If this gets 10 comments, I'll update as fast as I can, reason is, I'd like to have more insight from silent readers. Let me get to know you guys more, you know? <3 

I love reading them, so don't be shy like I always mention. 

Don't worry about Kai, he'll appear soon, as well as baby Guyeon. 

Like, are you GUISE READY?? Because I know I am. 

Chapter Three

There are times I basically blame my lack of desire to have children on my mother. To be frank, she wasn’t a bad one, she just did not really know what she was doing, honestly. We were not quite as close as one would imagine us to be, but umma has tried to nurture me as much as she can. I knew by then, that I had to learn how to handle things on my own and stop asking her for advice when I grew up older.

When I found out that I was pregnant, I didn’t instantaneously have visions of being some self-governing woman. I was perfectly content to do things on my own without the help of anyone. And to be truthful with you, I wasn’t that much of a martyr. As stubborn and as self-sufficient I was, I knew I needed help.

As soon as I have taken millions of pregnancy tests at home, and after drinking a gallon of water so that I had enough pee for all, I realized that instant that I needed to hunt the guy down.

Back then, I was only a 20 year old full time student in College. Appa has worked the same usual one ever since he was a teenager and he made just enough to pay his bills as well as help me with my room and board. Reason being behind all these was the fact that he stayed in our home town, in Goyang, whilst I studied in Seoul. My mother and my father has also basically passed by a rough patch of divorce but it didn’t bother me that much since I was used to my mother being away all the time.

When it comes to transportation back then, I was thankful my father had a good friend that dropped me off every day in Chungnam University so I didn’t have the burden of student loans and stuffs. Tactlessly though, that meant I had to work my off and take double the classes as oppose to the other students, which has basically left me penniless with no job since I had no time for that.

Whatever angle I see it also, I believe that I took over umma. I wanted more from life than just serve people at Baskin Robbins where I worked all through secondary school. I wanted more, I basically wanted to travel, to work hard, and if I’m lucky, have my own business. Unfortunately for me, life didn’t throw me feathers, what it did was chuck a six pound, one ounce infant in my face when I was looking the other way.

Life can be a little , you see.

I am smart, and I somehow knew that this wouldn’t be easy, I knew I couldn’t do this all by myself. So I wanted to do more things, and not burden my father who I am currently staying with, right now.

I should have asked for my mother’s advises, but because we weren’t and we were never that close, I knew best that it was not a possible solution—for me at least. I know for a fact that any other woman would cry and plead their mothers for help, but it just simply didn’t occur to me to do that.

This has therefore basically left me with the person who placed me into this state of affairs. Regrettably, I had no idea who he was.

I was too horrified by my activities that night to ever repeat the , that I knew, without a doubt, that that y dude was the father.

The only thing I had kept in mind repeatedly was the fact that I needed to find him.

Like, who the would basically give their ity away without even bothering what the guy’s name is, in the first place?

Oh well, that would be me.

--

First time I decided to look for him, I had spent hours and hours talking to every single dumb men that lived in that apartment where the party had happened. To be honest, no one in there knew who I was talking about when I tried to describe the man, and his friend who has accompanied him.

I’d been certain of the reason why no one gave me a direct answer was the fact that they all basically gaped at my s, and even yet, I do strongly believe that it was because I wasn’t fluid in their jock language, something I myself would be able to call—stupid.

On my way back to my apartment that I shared with Seohyun, I wanted nothing but to kill myself. I felt puerile conceding that the feel of his touch, his arms, around my waist felt very comforting. I should have honestly stayed. I should have waited until he woke up. And even though I had that desire to run my frail fingers along his hair, I knew I couldn’t.

At that point in my life, I knew I didn’t need any distraction. If I had followed my instincts, I knew exactly what he would have been. If we were together, sober, I knew I could have easily lost myself in him and forget all my goals and everything that I worked hard for, right within.

To be honest with you, sleeping with him was not a mistake. What I consider as a mistake were my actions and the fact that I left early that morning. Instead of basically sticking around, I slunk out from underneath his limb and the heat of his body