A/N: I'm sorry, holikaholika. I know you expected better. I'm so sorry. 

What was it that he was seeing in this world of impossible? Was it his mother, smiling and waving at him? Was it his sister, playing with the toy she had so loved? Or was it his father, tired from all the work he had to do to support them? He could feel a smile form on his lips and it felt alien but good. He is with them again and nothing else matters. Not the stormy wind or the crashing waves. Not the frantic calls in the background pleading for him to return. Not even when all he could see was water, water everywhere, ignoring the deathly pain on his legs.

He wanted to move but he was stuck; his legs were numb and he couldn’t feel them anymore. His hand reached out to where the rest of his family stood, waving at him. He wants to follow them but he couldn’t. He couldn’t move and his parents just stood there and waved instead of coming over to help him, worry in their eyes like they had done so many times before this.

Why aren’t they coming now?

Chanyeol, he heard someone call his name, vague and faraway but still all he could see was his family, leaving without him. The voice came again repeatedly, Chanyeol, Chanyeol, Chanyeol.

“Chanyeol?”

Chanyeol woke up with a start, blinking rapidly to take in the surroundings around him. He was in a room. No, not his room. His room has a massive bookshelf over by the corner, where he placed his guitar just resting against it. This room stinks of medicine and it was old and has white walls that are now gray. But it was a room he’d somehow grown accustomed to; the room he’d been calling his home for the past few weeks. It may be his only home now.

After he finally registered the room, the next thing his eyes focused on was a lady standing just by his bed, a hand on his arm as she greeted him with one of the prettiest smiles he’d ever seen in his life. He knows this lady. She had been the one who stayed with him after he was found in his ruined house, legs stuck underneath a broken piece of wall, useless.

He was the only one who survived in that house. The storm had come and winds crashed. It was because they’ve had too many storms that this particular one did not deter them. And when the waves came, huge and fatal, crashing into their homes and streets, nobody had seen it coming.  And it was the fact that he had witnessed the death of his family, that now all he could feel and want was following after them. Surely there is something better on the other side.

For the first few weeks in this sheltered home for victims, Chanyeol’s dreams were nightmares of memories. Memories of his house walls crashing in around them, of his five year old sister crushed beneath their massive shelf, of his mother crying and trying to save her baby girl, only to get crushed by the ceilings that were falling on them. It wasn’t just water Chanyeol could see; it was also blood. Blood of his loved ones. He did manage to thank whatever forces there is that his father had passed a week before, painless and peaceful.

Now, the lady helped Chanyeol up from his bed, saying something about how his nap time is over and asking if he wants to sit outside. Chanyeol’s everyday life now consists of lots of naps, sitting out and watching the ruins of his neighborhood and letting the younger victims eat his portion of the little food they have left. He couldn’t bring himself to eat much.

“Ji hyo noona,” Chanyeol spoke, and the lady smiled at him.

“What is it, Chanyeol?”

“I think they’re happy now, wherever they are.” Chanyeol said softly, letting Ji hyo help him to his wheelchair. Jo hyo only smiled and nodded.

“Of course they are, Chanyeol. Of course.”

Once he was settled onto his wheelchair, Chanyeol frowned as he looked up at Ji hyo, asking the question he had been asking since he woke up. “Why am I not with them?”

Ji hyo’s lips trembled at this before she quickly pursed them, blinking away the coming tears as she attempted a reassuring smile at the younger boy she had treated just like her own brother. “That’s because God has plans for you, love. You’re going to have a long way ahead of you, and there will be good things just as there’ll be bad. But you mustn’t give up, okay? Promise me.”

Chanyeol nodded. He couldn’t smile even if he tried to. He doesn’t know how to do it, had no memory of ever smiling before. He couldn’t promise out loud either, because all he could feel now was the temptation of giving up. What is his purpose of living anyway? As Ji hyo pushes his wheelchair out to the front where he could have all the views of his ruined neighborhood, Chanyeol lets out a sigh. It saddens him, to see his home greatly destroyed. This was where he had grown up in and this was where he had planned to live his life with. He could almost see himself with his family just down the street where his house had been.

His train of thoughts was interrupted by the cheerful sounds of the children’s laughter. He smiled, albeit a little envious at their inability to stay sad for so long. It was Ji hyo’s voice that had him turning his head to see who she was talking to. He panicked just slightly to find that there was a commotion of people talking in different languages until he realized that they must have been the volunteers coming to help the victims of the deathly waves. He wanted to be happy, really, but like before, he doesn’t really remember how to feel it.

“And this is Chanyeol,” He heard Ji hyo spoke with an accented English but he refused to look at her, not ready to meet people who were going to look at him with sympathy. “He’s holding up really well. He lost his family to the tsunami, and his ability to walk.”

He heard a gasp from behind where Ji hyo must be. Chanyeol squeezed his eyes tight, afraid to hear what might come next. He somehow hated the way these volunteers are treating him, like he was completely helpless, which of course, he was. Next came a male’s voice, soft and sad. “I’m so sorry to hear that. Babe, can you believe this? My heart hurts.”

Chanyeol finally took this moment to look up behind him. There were three males besides Ji hyo, two tall and one shorter. The shorter male had a hand placed over his chest and Chanyeol guessed he must be the one who had spoken, the other two had blonde hair but one of them caught Chanyeol’s attention the most. He almost smiled back when the male smiled at him.

The man who had spoken smiled at him too, squatting down just in front of him so their faces could level. “Hi, Chanyeol. My name is Baekhyun. That one is Sehun and Kris. We’re here to help you, okay? We’re your friends.”

The man who had caught his attention was the one named Kris, he soon figured out as they began talking. He surprisingly found himself getting along well with the three volunteers who seemed to be around his age. Kris and Sehun didn’t talk much like Baekhyun, but they had him almost close to laughing when they talked about their volunteer work and how Baekhyun could cry just looking at the poor children. It wasn’t long after that Chanyeol guessed Baekhyun and Sehun are a couple, in the way that Baekhyun leaned in on Sehun for support and the latter rubbing the shorter’s arm. It made him smile, somehow, at how they have each other to lean on.

While he had no one.

When it was time for dinner, Kris was the one who pushed his wheelchair despite his protest. He was certain that he could move all on his own but Kris insisted. Chanyeol didn’t eat much; he had no appetite and was willing to give his food to the starving children. After that he found himself once again at his usual spot, staring out at his ruined neighborhood. This time, Kris was with him.

“Hey, you wanna know something?” Kris broke the fifteen minutes of silence and when Chanyeol looked at him, he saw Kris was also staring out at the scene before them.

“What is it?” Chanyeol asked, soft like a whisper.

Kris’s eyes finally met his as a smile color his lips. “I lost my family too. Maybe not as bad as you had but I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”

Something tugged at Chanyeol’s heartstrings, causing his vision to blur at the memory of the family he had lost. “I’m sorry, too. About your family. You must miss them.”

“I do miss them a lot. I was like this before; alone and sad, feeling like it’s too crowded but really you’re just on your own. You had no one else to turn to, and there was no one who cared enough.” Kris looked at Chanyeol, reaching a hand to caress at Chanyeol’s cheek. “But if you let people in, Channie, you can taste a little bit of that happiness you once knew.”

Chanyeol gulped at the bitter taste on his tongue. He didn’t want to cry, but he was surprised at how much Kris understood his true emotions. Those feelings that Kris mentioned were all that he was feeling ever since the tragedy. He just didn’t know someone else might have felt the way he did, and now that he found that someone, there was a great relief lifting from his shoulders.

The volunteers stayed for three days. In those three days, Chanyeol spent his time with the three people who had somehow become his friends. It was weird how light he felt when they’re around and he finds himself unwilling to let them go home yet. He was on his wheelchair, smiling out at what used to be his neighborhood as he thought about Baekhyun, Sehun and Kris. Mostly Kris. He thought about how they’ve successfully made him laugh for the first time in a long time, and he thought about how he will go back to the way he was before when they leave him again.

Chanyeol didn’t jump when he felt a hand on his shoulder; he only closed his eyes, knowing that it was Kris. He only opened them again when he heard a particular loud sob from the older male. He looked up to see Kris wiping at his eyes. He frowned, wondering why.

“I’m leaving this afternoon.” Kris said, shamelessly wiping at his eyes again.

Chanyeol sighed and took Kris’s hand in his. “You can always come visit me again.”

Kris took a few minutes to calm himself down before he squatted in front of Chanyeol. “Come with me,” He said, surprising the young. “I’ll bring you back to Canada, Sehun and Baekhyun wouldn’t mind it. They like you too.”

Chanyeol shook his head, his eyes closed before they opened and looked straight into Kris’s. “What about the children here? It wouldn’t be fair.”

Kris looked frustrated. “They’re happy here, Yeollie.”

“I’m happy too.”

The older male stood and grabbed at his hair. “But I want you to come with me. We’ll get you treated so you can walk again. You’ll have me.”

Chanyeol considered this. He won’t deny that he wanted to say yes, that he wanted to go with Kris, he wanted to have Kris. But it wasn’t easy to leave everything behind and move on just like that. If he gets a good life there, then what about the children left behind? They are happy here, but they wouldn’t have a home like Chanyeol would if he said yes. He sighed again and looked at the Canadian-Chinese male pacing the ground before him. He could see how handsome Kris looked under the sun, and he had this want to be able to look at him for as long as he lives.

“Hyung, I can’t just leave my home like that. I grew up here.”

“But you have nothing here.” Kris spat, but as soon as the words left his mouth, he looked regretful. Chanyeol’s heart clenched and he tried to hold back the sudden sadness that stung him.

“True. But I have memories.” He smiled up at Kris, “And I know you will come visit me again.”

“Please, Chanyeol. I just – I want you to come with me. You make me feel so different. Like I could be happy again. I don’t want to let it go, to let you go.”

Chanyeol couldn’t help the butterflies in his stomach as he smiled at Kris’s words, feeling exactly the same way about the latter. “You make me feel like that, too, hyung.”

“Then say yes,” Kris’s voice had gone softer now as he took both Chanyeol’s hands in his. “Say yes and I’ll make you happier. We’ll build a new life in Canada. Just you and me.”

Chanyeol couldn’t find any other reason to why he shouldn’t agree to Kris’s proposal, so he smiled sheepishly up at the older and said; “Will you show me around in Canada?”

Kris laughed and then he did something Chanyeol wasn’t prepared for but wouldn’t complain; Kris cupped Chanyeol’s face in his hands and pressed his lips on the younger’s. “Of course I’ll show you around. Canada will be our home.”

At that Chanyeol grinned, wider than he ever had as he let Kris pushed his wheelchair into the room he’d been sleeping in for the past few weeks. As Kris packed up his bag, Chanyeol stared at the ruins of his home for the last time. He would miss it a lot. He would miss Ji hyo.

But in his head, he saw himself on his feet again, back here to build what was once lost.

A/N: I'm sorry this took forever. I know you won't like this because it's nowhere near decent and I failed as an author and I'm so so so sorry. I hope in the future I will be able to make up for my doing. ;__; I really hope you won't hate me for this.