Chanyeol’s birthday party was the less crowded and most definitely drunken version of an SM Town concert. Most of the guests were doing things they usually wouldn’t if cameras were trained on their beautiful, famous faces, and with all the roughhousing going on, she hoped that the insurance of the place included the oriental rugs, the leather couches and antique porcelain vases that dotted the corners of the room.

The receptionist at the lobby had given her a once-over when she had said that she was headed off to the party at the penthouse. No wonder, she thought wryly, as she looked around. With her oversized, chunky sweater and ripped jeans, she completely looked out of place with everyone else in their sponsored glittery, short dresses, fancy pants (she snorted at that), and loud, signature t-shirts.

“Well, well, well. If it isn’t little Miss Grey Goose,”

Ara whirled around to see Heechul, red, oversized sunglasses perched on his nose and a neon green feather boa wrapped around his neck. She burst out laughing and let out a surprised yelp when he grabbed her in a bone-crushing hug.

“How are you? Now we can get this party started, these kids are ing lightweights!” He said.

“Nice to see you too,” Ara laughed and patted his back awkwardly as she shifted Chanyeol’s present in her other arm. “But I don’t think I’ll be drinking tonight,”

Heechul leaned back and looked at her with a mock glare. ”What? You sound like Junmyeon, it’s disappointing,”

“Sorry, I’m not leaving my car again. It got clamped when I left it at you guys’ building the last time,”

“You should have told me! My car gets clamped all the time and I’ve never had to pay,” Heechul said.

Ara frowned. “Do I want to know what you do to avoid the fines?”

“Probably not. Anyway! You like the place?” He spread his arms out and gestured to the party in full swing.

“Fancy. And big. Whose?” She asked.

“LSM’s. Bought the place just so we could have a safe place to play at,” He said with a wink. “Oh, look who’s here!”

Ara searched the crowd and spotted Kris, wearing stupid leather pants, a white long-sleeve button down and his favorite three-hundred dollar sneakers. A tall girl in a black dress that clung to her curves was hot on his trail.  He had frantic look on his face and mouthed a ‘help me’ before the girl finally caught up and swung him around abruptly.

“What-“

Heechul gave her a gentle push. “Go and save your almost-boyfriend. I swear my cat would fare better in the wild than that kid.”

Ara started to walk towards Kris with no specific plan as to what to do or say. She was halfway there when she felt a hand at her wrist and she was about to snap at the most probably inebriated person to get their hands off of her because goodness only know where they’ve been or what they’ve touched when her eyes met Luhan’s, and she was taken aback at how he looked so tired and lost. It was a complete but not exactly unexpected change from the vibrant and cheerful Luhan that she knew.

She slipped her hand into his. “Let’s get Kris and then we’ll talk.” He nodded silently and Ara tried not to notice how bony his fingers felt against hers.

There were too many people, their conversations too loud and she could hear the thundering of her own heartbeat in her ears as they approached the spot where Kris was standing. She squeezed Luhan’s hand before letting go and took a deep breath before pushing her way through. She grabbed Kris’ arm with her trembling hand.

“Hey, um, babe? I was looking all over for you!”

She hoped that her voice didn’t sound as strained as she felt. Her uneasiness was rewarded when the girl’s face fell and gave her a scathing look. Kris though, was another story. He was staring at her like sunshine was coming out from every orifice of her body and she had to grip his arm a little tighter so he’d stop staring and get the cue that it was time for their escape.

He blinked and then cleared his throat. “Hi! I thought you’d never come,”

“Who’s this?” Ara smiled at the girl.

“Oh, um, sorry what was your name again?” Kris asked, his face blank.

“Oppa, it’s Sohee!” The girl whined. She probably had a pound of make-up caked on her face and Ara cringed at how half of her chest was spilling out from her dress.

“Well, Sohee it was nice of you to entertain Kris, but now we have to go, so bye!” She turned around to see Luhan with an amused smile on his face and she hoped that he would also get the message and run away as fast as he could.

“Wait, who are you?”

Ara took a deep breath and put the best smile she could muster and turned around. “My name is Ara-“

“No, I mean, who are you?”

Kris spoke up. “Ara’s my-“

“ARA NOONAAAAAAAA! What took you so long? You’re here!”

It wasn’t even close to midnight yet, and Ara was already hugged twice by half-drunks. Chanyeol smelled like expensive cologne and beer, and she wondered how many times he’s drunk-dialed his ex already.

“Hey Chanyeol, happy birthday! Here’s your present!” She shoved the present to his chest, gave him a quick peck on the cheek and dragged Kris and Luhan away.

They hadn’t gone very far when they heard Chanyeol’s deep voice boom across the room, asking Sohee to give him a so he can forget about his ex who was ignoring his texts and calls.

The place was enormous, but they had a hard time finding a spot to sit where they would not be overheard, d or thrown up on.

“This is the last party you will ever take me to, Yifan,” She hissed.

Ara looked at Kris when he didn’t reply, a smug grin on his face. “You called me babe,” He said.

“I’ll never hear the end of this, will I?” She asked Luhan.

Luhan smiled and shook his head. “Probably not,”

They settled for the kitchen, which was surprisingly empty except for a few stragglers needing a break from the endless supply of alcoholic beverages from the open bar set up in the living room area. There were trays of water bottles on the granite counter top and those who came in would leave again after getting what they needed. Ara wondered where all the managers were. An entire floor filled with young adults who mostly ran on tight schedules but were now allowed to be free (if only for a few hours) and drown their sorrows, disappointments and heartbreaks over expensive hard liquor and even more sponsored beer had disaster written all over the white, pristine walls.

They sat on stools and Luhan set his beer bottle down on the gleaming kitchen island. Kris sat on her right, wound his arm around her waist and his fingers had wandered to the waistband of her jeans, his thumb making small circles on her skin.

“Quit,” She said, gently pulling his hand away. He apologized, but the small smile on his lips showed that he wasn’t really sorry. “Go find Chanyeol, make sure he doesn’t do anything else stupid.”

He gave her a quick kiss on the temple. “Ok, I’ll be right back.”

When Kris was out of earshot and the two trainees who had asked Luhan for a picture had left, Ara swiveled her chair to face him.

“So. The kid’s four,” She began.

Ara laughed, because Luhan really did look like a deer in headlights. She lightly punched him on the shoulder. “What the hell, Han. We’ve been friends for years. Did you even have plans of letting me know?”

His face fell again when he told her how he only found out himself a few days ago, when he was out in Myeongdong with Kris and Minseok.

“It was her sister who walked inside the bubble tea store where we were at,” He said with a bitter smile. “She froze the minute she saw us and tried to walk out. I saw him…and I knew. I just knew. He spoke in perfect Hangeul with a smattering of Mandarin,”

“His…Do I know his mother?”

He shook his head. “We were together before I got scouted…Now that I think about it, she must have been pregnant already when she broke it off with me. Just around that time when we first met? Remember?”

She nodded. Luhan had officially joined the company that spring, and Junmyeon had invited his potential group members to the family’s annual Christmas party later that year. Among the boisterous group of future superstars, she was drawn towards the mild-mannered boy with androgynous features and pleasant laughter. They instantly hit it off when she learned that Luhan had taken a leave of absence from the same university that she was studying at during that time.

As trainees, the boys had more free time than they would like, and it wasn’t uncommon that she would meet up with most of them at Hongdae for midnight snacks and window shopping. As her friendship with Luhan progressed, secrets were shared and promises made, Ara learned that she wasn’t the only one at the darkest point in her life then. It may have only been the circumstances that brought them closer together, but she was grateful because it forged an understanding that one will be there for the other, no matter what.

Something inside her twisted at the thought that Luhan had a son, alive and well.

“Who does he look like?” She asked quietly.

Luhan’s eyes lit up and all traces of fatigue disappeared if only for a moment. “He’s a mini-me, Ara, eyes and lips like mine,”

Ara pursed her lips. “So you’re happy…but not really?”

“My ex doesn’t think I should be in Haneul’s life. She said my kind of work is unstable, that it was dangerous, with the fans and all that,” His voice broke. “If I’d known, I wouldn’t have…I would have-”

“I believe you,” She said quietly.

“I loved her... I think I still do and it’s not just because of all this…I never stopped thinking about her after all these years, wondering if she can see me now and if you know, maybe take me back?” He laughed softly, “She let him have my last name, by the way. Lu Haneul…Hanuel means heaven, doesn’t it?”

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