For the twenty four years of his life, being a Shinee member has always been one of the things Taemin is most grateful of. He enjoys being the youngest member of Shinee, that’s something he can never deny. Life has always been like dream comes true ever since he debuted with Shinee.

But while living his dream as part of Shinee, he has developed another dreams he want to pursue. He really wants to stand on a stage on his own. He wants to do the kind of music he like and has the whole song to sing on his own. And here he’s presented with the opportunity to make it happen.

The news comes as a surprise to him. He doesn’t expect this. Not that he doesn’t expect an opportunity to go solo but more of the timing of the offer. He always thinks Jonghyun or Jinki will get it first and then maybe the company will consider giving him one. But he is proven wrong. He is the first in Shinee to get a solo debut and he can’t be happier for this.

His manager has set a series of meetings for his solo album and he has then started to deeply think what he really want for his solo. Since he is so occupied with the thought of his solo concept, he has not thought of breaking this news to s. He doesn’t make it a priority for now. He considers to tell the member later when he is settled with the concept, the songs and the date.

As time goes by with the meetings, discussion, and so on, they have come to the step where they start looking for songs for the mini album. Oh yes, it is going to be a mini album. He has listened to several demos and there a few he consider to fit the concept he has in mind.

“I want my music to differ from Shinee” he says during one of the meetings. He wants a music that won’t remind the listener of Shinee but of himself instead. He knows it might be hard since Shinee has tried various genres but he is optimistic.

When they start to put together songs that they deem to be suitable with the concept, Taemin comes up with an idea of having Shinee’s member featured in the songs but then again, after a long discussion with his production team, he comes to a conclusion that it won’t meet the purpose of creating a new image of him apart from Shinee. It will only remind the listener of Shinee. So he let it pass.

“Taemin-ah, they will put out a notice so everyone can participate in the lyric writings. I think you might want to tell your members so they will hear it directly from you but if you’re not comfortable of telling them now, well, it’s your call.”

His manager can be right. As much as he wants to hold the news until everything is clear, he doesn’t want the member to hear the news from someone else. If they do, they might let him go once he explain his reasons but it still doesn’t feel right for him. Thus, he is determined to tell his hyungs tonight. All of them, at once.

“Hyung, I’m going to release a solo album.”

There is a brief silence before all of them goes to excited-little-boys mode upon hearing the good news. They soon ask for the details and Taemin is more than happy to share.

“It will be great if you can sing Jonghyun’s song and have Key or Minho do the rap” Jinki blurts out of sudden which immediately gets approval from the others.

“Having a duet with you in Jonghyun’s song will be great but I’m rather be preparing your costumes than doing rap.”

“I must take a look at my songs first to see if there is any that will fit your Michael Jackson concept but I can always write a new one! I can make the rap part that will match Minho’s tone so both of you will sound wonderful! Jinki hyung can write the lyric too!”

Seeing how excited the members are about participating in his album, Taemin hates to kill the mood with how he wants to build a different image of himself apart from Shinee and how it will be wise to not have the members in it. Just like how he expect them to receive this, they understand.

“But I will still send my lyric though.” But nothing just can stop Jonghyun for supporting Taemin in all the way possible.

Recently, Taemin admits that the pressure for his solo preparation is starting to stress him out. He knows this stuff very well, after all, he has been preparing so many comebacks with Shinee but this one is different. He expects it to be different since he is doing this on his own but never once he think it will be this stressful. That’s why when he comes home that night, he feels like talking to his hyung. A specific hyung whose name pop out right away, Minho hyung.

Minho might have stopped giving him cold shoulders but it doesn’t mean they are as close as they used to be. He can still feel it, the distance the older keep between them to remind him that they are not like what they used to be. He is unsure if Minho is willing to spare some time to listen to his struggle or if he will care about his solo at all.

So he ends up sitting at the kitchen by himself, empty cartons of milk arranged in a single line as he absentmindedly staring at them. That’s when Minho walk in to the kitchen and their eyes meet and Taemin can tell that Minho knows. They had spent quite a long time together for them to be able to read each other’s mind just by looking at the eyes.

“What’s wrong?” he asks casually as he open the fridge and grab a box of juice.

“Just the usual stress from album prep.”

“You will get nothing from staring at those boxes. Sleep will help more.”

“My bed doesn’t feel right, it’s cold and hard. And I just don’t like the thought of having Jonghyun hyung at the same room.” Taemin starts to whine and he regrets it when he realise how incoherent he might sound.

“I’ll text Jonghyun hyung to sleep with me tonight, or he can just go home.”

“What about I sleep at yours instead?” Taemin swears he doesn’t know what has possessed him to ask such question. Minho is so quiet when he look at him for a moment before agreeing the idea of Taemin spending the night at his room. Taemin almost refuse to believe his own ears – or more, his luck.

After not sharing a bed with Minho for so long, Taemin almost forget how it feel to have Minho’s warmth around him. The warmth, the scent, the contentment is overwhelming Taemin can feel the anxiety leave his mind the moment he lay on the bed next to Minho.

“Thanks for this, hyung” Taemin breaks the silence.

“Nevermind. Well, this is the least I can do for you as my bandmate. I can’t write you a song or design your outfit, and you don’t want any of it anyway so… yeah… I hope you can sleep well tonight.”

Taemin can’t hold himself together the next day because how could he? He starts his day by waking up to Minho’s sleeping face and that’s just right.

He is aware of Jonghyun’s stare on him since he is practically grinning ear to ear all the time they sit together for breakfast. He really want to make it less obvious but his face betrays him. The production team also has the same thought when he enters the room with an unusual bright smile on his face. However, that smile doesn’t last when they broke the news about his duet partner.

Kai.

Not that he hates it, part of him is excited to work with his best friend and is grateful to be offered with such opportunity on his debut. But the other half is not comfortable with it. How Minho hyung would react to this is what comes into his mind when he hears this.

He hasn’t even has the time for a proper reaction when they tell him that he is supposed to sing a duet with Kai on Jonghyun’s song.

That’s it, Taemin thinks.

How the hell he is going to explain this to Minho… he was the one who said that he didn’t want his solo to have anything to do with Shinee and now is completely the opposite. He is singing Jonghyun’s song and Kai is going to do the rap part.

“Why?” that’s all he can say.

His team then start explaining on how the song fits to be in the album and that with EXO’s popularity it might help for the digital chart performance and so on. They go on and on because after since they broke the news, Taemin’s face lose its color and doesn’t seem to get back to normal anytime soon so they keep saying things, trying to get his mood back. But it’s all in vain because they don’t know what is actually wrong here.

“Ah, okay then. Shall we start?”

“Taemin-ah are you really going to sing my song?” Taemin can tell how happy Jonghyun must be right now by the way his voice drip with excitement.

“Yeah… I’m going to sing your song hyung. I have listened to it and it’s so good. Thanks for giving it to me.”

“I’m skeptical about it at first. I don’t think it will pass because –“ Taemin’s mind drift away as he listen to his hyung’s rant. Right now, the last thing he want to think about is this. This whole singing Jonghyun’s song with Kai. He couldn’t do anything since it’s such a good song. Damn Jonghyun and his composing skills! “Taemin-ah, are you listening?”

“Ah, yes hyung. Yeah, it’s great, isn’t it?”

“You weren’t listening.” He says and Taemin is slightly guilty for that. “Where are you now?”

“In the car. With manager hyung. We’re heading to the dorm now.”

“Alright then, see you at the dorm. We need to talk.”

“Hyung, no –“ he groans when Jonghyun hang up before he reject whatever agenda Jonghyun has for them once they reach their dorm. He texts him but is sure going to be ignored.

His steps are heavy the closer he gets to their dorm. He gets in so quietly so no one will get noticed but the moment he open the door to his room, Jonghyun is right there to welcome him.

“They told me Kai is going to rap in it.”

“in it as in rapping in my song?”

“Yes”

“And?”

“And I can’t do anything about it because they keep throwing rational reasons as to why we should go with this.”

“And?”

“ hyung don’t you get it? I was confidently refusing Jinki’s hyung idea of using your song with Minho or Key hyung rapping in it because I don’t want my solo to have anything to do with Shinee and last night Minho hyung was going as far as sharing his bed with me because there is nothing else he can do to help me with my solo preparation and then this happened and how do you think he might react on the news?” Taemin is fuming he doesn’t even feel bad for snapping at his hyung.

“You don’t have time for this, you know. If he cares for you as his bandmate, he’s going to support you no matter what.”

“Hyung, you know it’s not just about him supporting me as a bandmate. It’s also about me trying to get him back with me.”

Jonghyun stands up from his bed, taking a few step towards Taemin and staring down at him. “You have worked hard and waited long for this. Don’t let Minho get in your way to get what you want. I should get going.” Jonghyun gives him a brotherly hug before he heads to the door.

“Let me know if Minho hyung says anything. I want to know how he takes this.”

“You go to the wrong person. Minho won’t come to me. It’s Jinki hyung. And I’m 100% sure he won’t say a word to you.”

After coming to a conclusion that he can’t handle the weight of both his solo preparation and the direction of his relationship with Minho, Taemin has decided to push Minho in the back of his mind and focus on his solo first. He doesn’t tell Minho about the Pretty Boy song and let him know from whoever it is. He doesn’t come to Jinki to see if Minho is cool about it. He also doesn’t let this be an excuse to hang out with Kai too often. If Jonghyun insists that Minho should support him on his solo as a bandmate, then he also believe that Kai, as his friend, should also support him in getting back with Minho.

Time flies and his debut is finally happening for real. He is still can’t believe it but he is excited with the amount of support he get from his fans. Seeing how his hard work is paid off, he becomes more sensitive. He is tearing down easily whenever he sees people around him rooting for him. That explains how he suddenly burst into tears in front of his fans during an event.

It is when he comes home with his first #1 trophy when he stays up all night waiting for his Minho hyung. He doesn’t know why but he feels like he wants to share it with his hyung so bad.

“Get some sleep! You’re tight on schedule tomorrow. Minho must have read it on the news, you know.”

Taemin can care less about sleeping right now. He really really want to say hyung, I won #1 today so badly that it drives him crazy when Minho is still not back yet by midnight.

When he hears the door clicks open, he jumps to his feet and breaks into smile when he sees Minho.

“Taemin-ah, what are doing?” Minho asks him, wondering what makes Taemin sitting in dark in their living room alone. He is on his way to switch the light on when he hears Taemin’s confession.

“Hyung, I won #1 today.” He says it so softly that Minho comes to learn that this is why Taemin stays up till late for. He halts and turns around. When he is one step away from Taemin, his hand reaches up to pat Taemin’s head. “Congratulions Taemin-ah, you’ve worked hard.” Minho has said it so sincerely Taemin couldn’t help but look down and starts crying. Minho, knowing how difficult it must have been for Taemin, embraces him in a tight hug, hoping that is enough to soothe him.

“Thank you hyung.” He says in between his sobs. “I was so afraid you would turn your back on me. I wished I could not do it with Kai but I couldn’t find a reason to object it. I was so afraid I didn’t have the gut to tell you in person. But you still showed up and supported me.”

“As a bandmate, of course.” Taemin adds. “But it’s enough considering –“

“Sssh~ don’t say anything more.” He breaks the hug. “Come, I’ll tuck you in.” he tugs on Taemin’s wrist and takes him to his bed. Once Taemin is covered with blanket, he sits on the bedside and waits for him to fall asleep. “Don’t take too long to fall asleep. Hyung wants to sleep too.” He jokes and it makes Taemin smile.

As Taemin closes his eyes, Minho learns that Taemin has gone through a lot to revive their relationship it melts away the anger and jealousy that has pent up inside of him.

I'm here to tell you guys that I'm alive and still writing even if it takes forever to finish a new chapter :"